Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues: An Alternate 1984 US Presidential Election

The TL isn't dead - an update is on the way. :)

Viguerie has hair that I can only describe as "balding Caesar".

Perhaps. I'm not saying that I'll make Evan Mecham President and then he appoints his favourite horse as Secretary of State. ;)

Jeffords is the only good choice among the three.

I'm sure the GOP will have a better field come 1988. ;)

With Atwater involved in this thing, I'm wondering if the anonymous fellows trailing Gary Hart have spotted anything interesting.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Maybe he uses that to force Hart to make a deal with McDonald?

Once again my lips are sealed on this. ;)
 
Perhaps. I'm not saying that I'll make Evan Mecham President and then he appoints his favourite horse as Secretary of State.

In defense of Arizona's producing so many whacko governors, we like to use the excuse, "But it's a Dry Heat." :D

Oh, you're not buying it? :eek: OK, how about the incidence of UFO sightings? Geomagnetic alignment? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? :eek:
 
Larry McDonald - The Enigma?
Time Magazine, 10th July, 1984

090831_mcdonald_ap_297.jpg

"Don't Tread On Me" reads the large flag pinned up on the wall of what was until last year an abandoned medium sized shop in north-west Atlanta. The Gadsden flag is however a much more recent addition to the premises. The phrase - along with other noteworthy Revolutionary War era quotes, such as "We The People" - have become the unofficial slogans of the Larry McDonald Presidential Campaign.

"My campaign is the only one running that seeks to protect and respect the Constitution and the values of the Founding Fathers," beams the candidate himself, the five term Democratic Congressman who has represented Georgia's 7th District since 1975. "I'm fairly confident that the rest of the Democratic Party will embrace our strong originalist position by the time we get to San Francisco."

McDonald at first glance looks more like a movie star than a politician - and his attitude and effect on people is certain akin to those of a Hollywood celebrity. Supporters come from the furthest reaches of the nation just to meet the candidate or even to get a word or two to him. "He's an honest down-to-earth, God-fearing American," says 28-year-old Minnesota McDonald delegate, Michelle Bachmann; who stated she had supported Jimmy Carter in 1976 and Ronald Reagan in 1980 - but has become disenchanted with the President in recent years. "Unlike Reagan," Bachmann states, "I think Larry McDonald will take the fight to the pro-abortion liberals and give the death blow to the abortionist and their lobby."

Mrs. Bachmann is one of the nearly 443 delegates that are pledged to Congressman McDonald's name. She is however just one of the many kinds of voters who have given their backing to the Congressman - from Wisconsin union members; to blue collar workers in downtown Boston; to farmers in the 'fly-over states'; and of course white southerners, the McDonald message has reverberated across the nation.

In many ways 'Dr Larry' as he's known locally, is the very definition of a political enigma. He has ran on a platform that many have compared to Alabama Governor George Wallace, who has endorsed McDonald for President, he's also not ashamed to call himself a conservative, or populist - whichever one is more beneficial to him at a given time and place, is the one he will opt to use. Yet despite his pseudo-libertarian populist Presidential Campaign he has exceeded all expectations by not only winning delegates under the proportional system in some states, but also winning several states as a whole (such as South Carolina, Kentucky, Alabama and his native Georgia.)

Rather than faltering and withdrawing as fellow southerners Reubin Askew and Fritz Hollings have done, McDonald has kept in the race and has amassed the third largest amount of delegates behind Colorado Senator Gary Hart (who has around 1,250 after his victories in June in Montana, New Mexico, South Dakota and North Dakota), former Vice President Walter Mondale (who has around 1,235 after his surprise victory in California, New Jersey and West Virginia in June); and just barely ahead of black civil rights leader Reverend Jesse Jackson, who has over 435 delegates to his name.

"He has achieved probably the best result he could have hoped for," notes University of Georgia Political Science professor Elliot Fleming, discussing how McDonald has effectively hit his ceiling of support in the Democratic Party and has achieved virtually the best result he could have aimed for. "He has successfully tapped into the anger and sense of betrayal that many Democratic voters feel. These voters who could be described as culturally conservative 'Wallace Democrats' are generally blue collar voters who have traditionally supported the Democratic Party, but have in recent years since the emergence of the 'New Left' in the Democratic Party in 1972, increasingly abandoned the party of Jackson, Wilson, Roosevelt and Kennedy and instead thrown their lots in with the Republican Party. McDonald and his campaign have seemingly tapped into this group and has successfully courted their votes with a message that mixes the right blend of economic nationalism slash fiscal conservatism - and has blended it with deeply conservative views on cultural and social issues. The result is still a minority of voters - but a vocal, well organised and tightly knitted minority."

"Larry McDonald is in it to win, not to simply release all his delegates to someone else," exclaims McDonald campaign manager Lee Atwater, who sits with his feet up at his desk eating a bowl of ice cream with hot sauce smeared all over it. "The issue here is not whether he is a viable candidate - we all know the answer to that - and it's an empathic 'Yes.' No, the question we have here is a question of the issues in this campaign and which candidate is the best to take on President Reagan in the fall - and I think it's safe to say that Larry McDonald is the man to do that." When asked if McDonald is instead angling himself to get on a ticket headed by either Hart on Mondale, Atwater laughed and said "we don't talk about how we make sausage!"

Atwater, a former Republican Party operative and White House employee - who left from that post last year to head up McDonald's campaign - seemingly has a niche when it comes to political campaigning and has helped see the McDonald campaign rise from single figures in the polls to the third most viable campaign in the nation, and the candidate who has the largest amount of support among southerners and blue collar voters within the party (narrowly beating out Jesse Jackson in both those regards.) Atwater however has however never shied away from controversial means to ensure his candidate wins. Back in his native South Carolina he made an issue of the fact that his opponents were either Jewish or had received electro-static treatment for their mental problems (or "hooked up to jumper cables as it was put.") Both these allegations are strongly denied by Atwater who when asked about them was quick to stress that "this is a campaign of issues, not personality..."

The secret to a successful campaign however is not only good campaigning and good policies but also money. Indeed, for a candidate who is rather vocal on his 'family values' and 'Christian values' planks, McDonald has not shied away from the fact that one of his biggest campaign donors is the millionaire owner of the pornographic magazine 'Hustler', the similarly named Larry Flynt.

"I don't agree with Larry [McDonald] on everything," Flynt said seated at his desk, "but I believe he's the best candidate for the job - someone who is both fiscally responsible and also a down-to-earth honest Christian." Flynt, who was seriously injured when he was shot in 1978 and a result is partially paralysed and supposedly experiences constant, excruciating pain and has been consigned to a wheelchair. Even on this front the born again Christian pornographic businessman does not hold off; his wheelchair is gold-plated and was said to cost, according to Flynt himself, "a lot."

Flynt and McDonald met at a fundraiser for the families of those who died in on the Korean Airlines flight which was shot down by the Soviet Union last year; McDonald who was on the plane until he opted to join North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms on a later flight has taken an increasing interest in the downing of the flight which nearly killed him. Flynt, who penned a pamphlet on the issue, has made an issue of the fact that he believes that the plane safely landed and the survivors are now imprisoned somewhere in the Soviet Union; a view shared by Congressman McDonald.

"I fail to see how Mr Flynt's business interests at all clash with my family values orientated campaign," McDonald says sporting his narrow necktie and a cream suit that evokes images of the former Louisiana Governor Huey Long; "what he does with his business interests and money is none of my business; he's free to do it as an American under a free-market system we have which encourages freedom and liberty."

Not all are in full support of the Congressman's campaign, least of all are liberal party members and feminists who have decried his policies as being "a bunch of right wing baloney." One feminist and Jesse Jackson delegate for the convention on McDonald stated, "Larry McDonald's America is a land in which women would be forced into back-alley abortions, blacks would sit at segregated lunch counters, rogue police could break down citizens' doors in midnight raids, schoolchildren could not be taught about evolution, writers and artists could be censored at the whim of the Government, and the doors of the Federal courts would be shut on the fingers of millions of citizens for whom the judiciary is—and is often the only—protector of the individual rights that are the heart of our democracy."

"Clearly they're a cracker," jokes Atwater after reading what the Jackson delegate had said. "Congressman McDonald has shown his commitment to protecting women's rights and constant fights for their right to pursue their God-given natural roles. Unlike Jesse Jackson, Larry McDonald shows everyone where he stands on the issues and is not afraid to say he is not a supporter of affirmative action. No, he supports ensuring blacks, whites, Hispanics and others can all get ahead at their own pace without the interference of the big bloated federal government telling businesses and schools what to do, or who to admit."

The Congressman, however, appears to leave all the dirty work for his operatives and instead seeks to promote his 'Roosevelt Democrat' philosophy. The Congressman has stated, for example on William F. Buckley's 'Firing Line' show that "FDR was conservative at heart and by nature during his Presidency - I think we should base his credentials based on his ideology and not some bloated 'liberal' achievements."

"This is one of the many faults of McDonald," says Professor Fleming, "he strives to try and please a crowd by stating what they want to hear. If they want someone who will balance the budget - then he's committed to balancing the budget and fiscal conservatism. If they want someone who will stop Japan and other Asian nations undercutting American workers and business - then he's an arch protectionist who will fight to make sure 'American starts winning again.' If they want someone who will burn abortion clinics down to the ground - he's your man."

McDonald however disagrees with this assessment. "My views have been very consistent in my near decade in Congress. I have never been shy to say that I am a populist Democrat who understands that focusing on just one ideology is to the detriment of the nation. I have taken the best bits of conservatism and liberalism - just like FDR to create a platform that works for America. To suggest otherwise just shows that you're someone who is probably in the pay of the big anti-American corporations - like the Rockefellers."

The 'Minuteman Democrat' or 'McDonald Democrat' is a brand or rather movement which has grown like 'weeds' across the nation over the past year. Several candidates for the House have professed to being 'McDonald Democrats' - one of these is James 'Jim' Traficant, Jr. - who is running as a Democrat for Ohio's 17th District, against incumbent moderate Republican Congressman Lyle Williams.

"McDonald tells it like it is - and the people love it," says Traficant as he tries to form his unkempt pompadour which he joking claims to cut with a weed whacker. "McDonald will be President - that I am sure; and in me he will have a great ally in the House of Representatives to help spread the conservative message." Current polling suggests that Traficant is on course to win the seat over the incumbent Republican - his message as a 'McDonald Democrat' seems to be resonating with voters in a district that last sent a Democrat to the House during the final two years of Eisenhower's final term and which has sent arch-conservative John M. Ashbrook to the House for twenty one years until his death in 1982.

"I'm reasonably confident that I have a good shot at the nomination," McDonald says with a greater sense of reality compared to his campaign manager. "I will however not be abandoning the people of the 7th District of Georgia who have sent me back to Congress five times." McDonald's current and second wife Kathryn McDonald is running for the seat to replace him - she is the odds on favourite to win the seat being challenged only by former Democratic Governor Lester Maddox in the Democratic Primary.

In the meantime, Larry McDonald and his ragtag 'Minutemen' delegates march on towards San Francisco for the first Democratic Convention in many years for which the nominee is not known beforehand. There have been suggestions that he could throw his lot in with Walter Mondale - in return for a Cabinet post? It seems rather unlikely, but then again so did the thought that a conservative southern Democrat coming in a strong third in the primaries just last year.
 
Hm, a candidate who defies party orthodoxy with a vague platform rooted in strong anti-elitism, economic nationalism, and dogwhistle racism. One whose populist rhetoric suggests, but never directly embraces, the language of conspiracies. One who promises to "make this nation great again" and wins over large swaths of white working class voters who feel unrepresented in national politics. What an interesting thought. I wonder if a candidate like that could ever be viable IOTL.
 
Hm, a candidate who defies party orthodoxy with a vague platform rooted in strong anti-elitism, economic nationalism, and dogwhistle racism. One whose populist rhetoric suggests, but never directly embraces, the language of conspiracies. One who promises to "make this nation great again" and wins over large swaths of white working class voters who feel unrepresented in national politics. What an interesting thought. I wonder if a candidate like that could ever be viable IOTL.

Now that's just preposterous. The American people would never go for such a thing.

*Coughs uncomfortably*
 
Figures Michele Bachmann would return to the Democratic fold to support George Wallace 2.0 ("Less Overt Racism, More Conspiracy Theories!").

Also, I thought the hot sauce as ice cream covering was a mistake until I looked it up. Atwater was a weird, weird guy.
 
Great update... and I know that because I want to jump into the screen and slash McDonald's throat.;)


Several candidates for the House have professed to being 'McDonald Democrats' - one of these is James 'Jim' Traficant, Jr. - who is running as a Democrat for Ohio's 17th District, against incumbent moderate Republican Congressman Lyle Williams.

That can't be true, that name cannot actually exist...wikis Yup, that name actually exist.

Ah the joys of being multilingual.:cool:
 
Hm, a candidate who defies party orthodoxy with a vague platform rooted in strong anti-elitism, economic nationalism, and dogwhistle racism. One whose populist rhetoric suggests, but never directly embraces, the language of conspiracies. One who promises to "make this nation great again" and wins over large swaths of white working class voters who feel unrepresented in national politics. What an interesting thought. I wonder if a candidate like that could ever be viable IOTL.

Uhh Bernie Sanders? :p

Now that's just preposterous. The American people would never go for such a thing.

*Coughs uncomfortably*

No candidate like that would ever do that well - they might win Iowa but they'd fizzle out after that. :p ;)

Figures Michele Bachmann would return to the Democratic fold to support George Wallace 2.0 ("Less Overt Racism, More Conspiracy Theories!").

Also, I thought the hot sauce as ice cream covering was a mistake until I looked it up. Atwater was a weird, weird guy.

Lol.

Yep I decided to use the ice cream + hot sauce after watching the 'Boogieman' documentary about him. He seemed to have an obsession with dousing everything he ate in enormous amounts of hot sauce - even ice cream!

Great update... and I know that because I want to jump into the screen and slash McDonald's throat.;)

That can't be true, that name cannot actually exist...wikis Yup, that name actually exist.

Ah the joys of being multilingual.:cool:

Why's that?

Yep Jim Traficant exists and will feature more in this TL. ;)
 
Yep I decided to use the ice cream + hot sauce after watching the 'Boogieman' documentary about him. He seemed to have an obsession with dousing everything he ate in enormous amounts of hot sauce - even ice cream!
Probably a sign I've assimilated into the South that that doesn't sound that weird or unappetizing. Might give it a go after Lent.
 
Traficante means drug dealer in Spanish/Portuguese, so he's Jim Drug Dealer.:D

That's... rather unfortunate. (I feel rather silly that I didn't get that - considering I did Spanish at school for over six years and I don't remember virtually anything from it. Why can't they all just learn English!? :D)

Probably a sign I've assimilated into the South that that doesn't sound that weird or unappetizing. Might give it a go after Lent.

Always something to add to the bucket list. Might give it a go after Lent as well (or maybe not on second thoughts...)

What??!!1!:eek:

I appear to have inadvertently caused a new food craze. I apologise to anyone who has any side effects from a bowl of Ben & Jerry's doused with abnormal amounts of tabasco. :eek:
 
Uhh Bernie Sanders? :p
Not quite. But I'm curious, was Donald Trump an inspiration for this at all? The parallels seem obvious enough, but then this could be read as a reasonable extrapolation from McDonald's actual career.
I appear to have inadvertently caused a new food craze. I apologise to anyone who has any side effects from a bowl of Ben & Jerry's doused with abnormal amounts of tabasco. :eek:

I don't have anything so fancy in mind. I'll probably just go with store brand vanilla ice cream with some Louisiana. Really, Louisiana makes just about anything taste better, and I've got no reason to expect that not to apply here.
 
It Keeps You Runnin'

lee_atwater2.jpg

-McDonald Campaign Manager Lee Atwater before the 1984 Democratic Convention-​


San Francisco, California

Congressman Larry McDonald and his campaign manager Lee Atwater, went jogging on a path from the hotel that the McDonald was based at in San Francisco, the Hyatt Union Square. He naturally received the luxury suite accommodations at the hotel; Atwater on the other hand received a pristine room - one of the 80 room reserved for the McDonald campaign. Mondale on the other hand was lodged in one of the Hotel Meridien's 'presidential' suites, around a block from the convention centre where the Democrats were due to meet Monday through Thursday - or at least that was what was scheduled. Senator Hart on the other hand was staying at the more economical, yet just as lavish, St. Francis Hotel, though he won't be in the hotel's $1,300-a-night Presidential Suite. Jesse Jackson on the other hand was at an altogether different abode - though probably just as posh.

The two men were hard pushed not to notice the many bystanders who had clearly spotted the Congressman and were watching the two running along the footpath. The two then rounded a corner and came into contact with a rather large billboard featuring 'Vote Mondale' on it. The Minnesotan's cheesy grin make the two chuckle. The main subject of discussion between the two was related.

"Look, Sir," Atwater said, slowing down to let the slower and comparatively less fit Congressman catch up to him, "I think it would be wise to discuss strategy for the convention. Now as you know we've got the third largest amount of delegates - so that does clearly buy us a lot of bargaining power for the other candidates. I've had the others draw up a list of suggestions and proposals you could court either Mondale or Hart with."

"I've been thinking about it as well," panted McDonald as he stopped for a second to catch his breath, "I think we should wait and see what Jesse Jackson does. If he goes off to one of them; then the other will get rather nervous and we can ride in and offer them a helping hand."

"But what if they don't want our aid?"

"they will. Mondale and Hart want to be the nominee really badly - they've been bitten by the Presidential bug and they've got their eyes set on the big prize now," McDonald said, picking up his speed to catch up with Atwater. "They'll fight tooth, nail and claw to ensure that their surname is on the left-hand side of the ticket. Jackson also senses that he has great bargaining power - but he has less delegates than us and as a result won't be able to get his preferred candidate above the magic figure,-"

"And that's where we come in, Sir?"

"Yep."

"Well here is where the research I had drawn up comes in, Sir," Atwater began as he put his hand into his pocket and lifted out a crumpled piece of paper which had some information written on it. "I have it noted down here that we've received some word that Jackson might try throwing his lots in with Mondale..."

"Seems reasonable. He has been attacking Hart more during the campaign - just like we've been attacking both of them."

"Yes Sir; the thing is I think he might be angling for a Cabinet or senior advisory post - maybe HUD Secretary or,"

"Vice President," McDonald butted in as he took a small lead over the South Carolinian who was busy trying to read the message which he had scrawled on the scrap of paper he had torn from the Gideon Bible in the hotel room, while the message was being dictated to him over the phone by the McDonald campaign Press Secretary.

"Perhaps Sir, but it does seem like the sort of ticket that'll scare off normal white people away from the party." McDonald raised an eyebrow. "That's where this information I got from Downey has been useful."

"Go on."

"Well Sir, we've been doing some... analysis of Mondale and Hart and we think that neither of them will really want your endorsement - at first that is. So - therefore I believe it would be wise if you simply kept in the race for a few rounds until it seems like one of the two has momentum in their sails - then the other one will get twitchy and will need our delegates. The only question is what exactly do we want...?"

"Uhh..." McDonald paused and stopped to catch his breath; Atwater stopped as well and began to run on the spot while he waited for McDonald to look up from his bent over position. "I have a few ideas - though I think I'll wait until the time has come to present them,-"

"In other words you haven't really decided yet, Sir?"

"Perhaps. Though I think we should be safe from the threat of defections to other camps - I mean all our kooks are pretty much fanatics for the cause aren't they?"

"Oh yes, Sir. I think we're more likely to receive defections - like the twelve-or-so delegates won by the uncommitted slate in South Carolina - y'know the slate we narrowly beat?" McDonald nodded his head as they began to pick up a light sprint again. "I think they'll try to get Hollings back into the race - but he's having none of it - he feels he's been disrespected by the party; we seem to be the closest to him politically,-"

"Which is saying something..."

"Sorry Sir?" Atwater pondered, not really knowing what to make of McDonald's comment.

"Well he is a liberal after all; he's like that Liberal Republican for the Sixth District back home - Gingrich. People say they're conservative - but they're clearly not."

"If you say so Sir."

"But I do agree with your analysis of him Lee, he thinks he's a moderate, conservative - whatever way the wind is currently blowing; and he's mightily pissed off with the liberals for some reason." McDonald paused for a second before speaking again. "By the way just in case we can't sway them with the threat of the other guy winning; do you have any dirt on either of them we could... use?"

Atwater bit his lip before his mouth slowly formed a grin until he began to chuckle slightly. "As a matter of fact we do have some stuff we could work on. We've got together some flyers which compare Mondale's voting record and ratings to that queer Congressman from Massachusetts; Studd or whatever the hell his name."

"Interesting. Though it won't be traceable to our campaign?"

"I'll see what we can do - if it does get linked to a campaign I'll make it seem like it's something Hart's people have done."

"Anything on Hart?" Atwater's looked a McDonald and his mouth formed an even larger grin as he licked his lips.

"Oh yes - yes we do..."
 
Not quite. But I'm curious, was Donald Trump an inspiration for this at all? The parallels seem obvious enough, but then this could be read as a reasonable extrapolation from McDonald's actual career.

Perhaps - though it is purely unintentional. His insurgency style campaign and his attempt to brush over his liberal beliefs with a form of bombastic populism could be similar to McDonald (the other way around of course.) Though it was purely coincidental any links.

I don't have anything so fancy in mind. I'll probably just go with store brand vanilla ice cream with some Louisiana. Really, Louisiana makes just about anything taste better, and I've got no reason to expect that not to apply here.

Whatever takes your fancy I guess.
 
Democratic Pledged Delegates

Gary Hart - 1,250.8
Walter Mondale - 1,236.2
Larry McDonald - 442.9
Jesse Jackson - 435.3
George McGovern - 20.0
Unpledged - 29.8

2evqofn.jpg
 
Top