Sweeney Todd Serves Up Edward VII

So, this is semi serious, though as PoD it might make for a good dark interlude in another timeline. One of those bizarre, insane tragedies that turn the fate of empires, like Francis I banging his head after tennis.

Sweeney Todd is an old London urban legend about a barber who would kill his victims in the barber's chair, then send them down a chute to a basement abbatoir, where his accomplice Ms. Lovett would butcher the remains and serve them up as meat pies in her shop on the first floor. Given the existence of serial killers like HH Mudgett (with his famous Murder Castle) or Burke & Hare in that era, it's hardly out of the question that a pair like Lovett and Todd could exist in an alternate London. Forget all the side-story from the movies-they're just a pair of psychopathic butchers.

So, let's take for our setting the winter of 1892. Just 3 years after Jack the Ripper, more disappearances are plaguing London, this time caused by our Todd and Lovett. Additionally, Prince Albert Victor has just died, leaving Prince of Wales Albert Edward (to be King Edward VII in just 9 years) grief stricken. One evening in early February, feeling the pain in his home too great to bear, he bundles up and ditches his guards, wandering the city of London alone. After being recognized and mobbed, he decides to duck into a small upstairs barber shop to trim off his famous beard so he can have a few bloody hours of peace to grieve.

That night, Ms. Lovett delights her patrons with a "Princely Pie Special", from a fresh shipment of "fat-marbled English beef." All is well and good, until one young dandy cracks his tooth on a gold pinky ring, which he immediately recognizes from a drawing of the Prince of Wales. He calls attention to it, and a mob of shocked customers storm the back rooms and find the horribly maimed but recognizeable Crown Prince dead on the slab. Ms. Lovett is captured by the crowd and turned over to Scotland Yard barely alive, but Todd manages to escape when he hears the furious disruption downstairs. Over the course of the grim investigation, the police discover the pair have been feeding the citizens of London human flesh for about a year. Personal effects of at least 50 victims are found, and some in Scotland Yard theorize the total death toll could be north of 100.

A few questions, then, for discussion:

1. What affects would this have on the British psyche? On the reputation of the monarchy? To have even a ceremonial heir to the throne killed in this manner would be shocking, to say the least. Would the Ripper terror strike again, but even worse?

2. Would Queen Victoria live through this? She had already been through a decades-long mourning over her beloved Albert.

3. George V is coming to the throne earlier. How much earlier? And how will this affect relations with closely related monarchies like Germany and Russia?

4. Could Todd (or whatever his name is in this ATL) manage to get out of London alive? Where could he go? How far would the British go to apprehend him? War? Worse, what if he's a member of an "outsider" group in England? French, German, American, Russian, Jewish, etc. Reprisals and international relations debacles could result.

5. The trial of Lovett, or Lovett and Todd if he's captured alive. It's hard to see any possibility but death, but the circus of such a trial and the possibilities of riot and panic provides fertile ground for change in itself. Particularly, I could see a repeat of the "Affair of the Poisons" in France, where Lovett spins stories about a whole network of secret cannibals in London to try and keep the police investigating while postponing her own date with the hangman.

6. Finally, health and safety! Food safety was improving in this era, but wouldn't reach full flower till after WW1. What could happen here? Angry mobs storming butcher shops to look for human victims? Legislation to mandate regular inspections? Widespread vegetarianism decades earlier?

Apologies if this is too macabre, I was watching the movie earlier and had the idea, and simply couldn't get it out of my head before setting it down.


Gore warning, but a representative scene from the movie version of the musical about Sweeney Todd for those who have no idea what this would seem like.
 
Last edited:
The trial of Lovett, or Lovett and Todd if he's captured alive. It's hard to see any possibility but death, but the circus of such a trial and the possibilities of riot and panic provides fertile ground for change in itself. Particularly, I could see a repeat of the "Affair of the Poisons" in France, where Lovett spins stories about a whole network of secret cannibals in London to try and keep the police investigating while postponing her own date with the hangman.

Actually, if the court martial of the slain Prince Impérial's CO from a few years prior is anything to go by, there might be an acquittal. The PM(?) at the time advised Victoria that to push for the death penalty would turn the public AGAINST them (and turn the whole thing into more of a circus than it was). Eugènie was no help at all, since she wanted the man brought to justice "for abandoning my son" but not killed "please, tell me they will do nothing to that poor man. His mother may yet be alive to have to see it".

Difference would be that Todd has committed regicide (the PI's case was muddied, since the CO (IIRC) said he'd given the order to retire, yet the PI stood his ground to fight). Plus, he's an English citizen who has killed an English royal. I will point out that someone (think it was in South Africa/Australia) tried to kill Prince Alfred, and I'd look into how the bloke was punished.
Todd may end up with a fate WORSE than death and be confined to a mad house for the rest of his life (to be studied by "Viennese alienists") despite being credibly sane, since the Crown can't NOT prosecute him, and he'd be at risk of becoming a martyr if he was found guilty and sentenced to death. Not to mention normal incarceration would probably be out. Hence why I suggest a padded cell.
 
I feel like a vengeful crown's best bet would be to lean INTO the killings. Emphasize the butchery of all the others, make a big deal about how the Queen suffers with her subjects in this time of grief, and shouldn't we simple English folk have vengeance?

That would probably be against the character of the monarchy under Victoria, however. I can see where you're afraid of making Todd a martyr, as the class warfare implications of killing a prince and serving his meat are unmistakable.

On the other hand...he butchered the crown fucking prince in his moment of grief and his accomplice served him as dinner! Cannibalism scandal! It's like the crown jewel of gossip scoops, excepting that no one was having sex with each other.
 
Last edited:
Emphasize the butchery of all the others, make a big deal about how the Queen suffers with her subjects in this time of grief,

Except that the animosity between Victoria and Bertie was well known, so it might be a pretty hard sell to the public to come across as convincing.
 
Perhaps, though I think the ghastly nature of the crime would give her some leeway.

Any thoughts on the other questions in the OP?
 
I couldn’t answer any of this, but I just have to chip in and say I love the scenario and questions.

Agreed. This is a great premise. The only way this could be better is if Buckingham Palace and/or Scotland Yard calls in Sherlock Holmes. He loves the strange cases, the weirder the better. And this case is clearly very, very weird.
 
Top