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This is a joint production by BG and I. Please enjoy!
“The voters supplied us with the confidence we needed, if not the confidence we wanted.”
- Michael Gove, June 2010
FIONA BRUCE: Welcome back to BBC’s coverage of Election Night 2010. I’m Fiona Bruce. We now return to the Morley and Outwood count, where Schools Secretary Ed Balls is in an unexpectedly close race with his Conservative opponent Anthony Calvert. Mr Balls is down by approximately 350 votes. Balls’ defeat would be a Portillo moment for Labour tonight. We will be watching Morley and Outwood very closely through the evening. The Conservatives have targeted him as part of what has come to be known as their “castration strategy”, similar to the decapitation strategies used by the Lib Dems in ’01 and ’05.
JEREMY PAXMAN: we are now seeing a nearly 9% swing to the Conservatives in Morley and Outwood. If this trend continues then it is very likely that Balls will lose his seat to Calvert-
DAVID DIMBLEBY: Sorry to interrupt Jeremy, but BBC can now project that Elwyn Watkins has been elected MP for Oldham East and Saddleworth on a 12% swing. Let’s go to the count, where Phil Woodas will be conceding defeat shortly.
Nazir, Gulzar, Christian: 212 votes. Bentley, David, 1720 votes. Ali, Kalshif, Conservative: 11,773 votes. Woolas, Phil: 14,041 votes. Watkins, Elwyn: 14,425 votes. I, the returning officer, duly declare Elwyn Watkins elected Member for Oldham Eastwood.
LIB DEM GAIN FROM LAB
“I thank all those who voted in allowing me the great honour of serving as your MP and pledge to repay your trust in me. Now let us work together to build a better Britain.”
PAXMAN: That was the count in Oldham East and Saddleworth, where Phil Woolas has just conceded defeat. We now return to Morley and Outwood, where Ed Balls continues to trail by a little over 500 votes. This is going to be a long night here, while both Labour and the Tories are keeping their fingers crossed for a victory.
BRUCE: Let us take a quick look at some other constituencies, first of all Swansea Central where Labour candidate Geraint Davies and Liberal Democrat Peter May are in an unexpectedly tough fight for this seat. With one short-lived exception, Swansea West has been Labour since 1945 and last went Liberal nearly 80 years ago, in 1931. Davies is still ahead by less than 100 votes, but there are still a dozen polls left to go before counting is complete. Let’s go to Labour headquarters.
North Queensfury, 0352
JF: Prime Minister, it’s not looking good in the Midlands now that Woolas has lost and Balls is likely to lose. Our only hope would be that we can team up with the Lib Dems to keep Cameron out of here. GB: Don’t talk rubbish. You know perfectly well that the bastard would demand my departure no matter what the fucking conditions were. You also know which traitor they would want here instead. JF: That other Dave. GB: Precisely. But let’s not discuss hypotheticals until all the results are in I’m not in the mood for that now. JF: Balls just lost, he’s talking on Sky now. GB: Bloody hell. Cue the BBC twats blathering on about Portillo moments for about 5 minutes before going back to the count. JF: That’s their MO Prime Minister. GB: Get Ed on the line right now. JF: Yes sir...
Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Schools Secretary Ed Balls touring Balls' then-constituency of Normanton, October 2009.
Official UK General Election 2010 Thread
Wozza: And Balls slips under the waves. Good riddance. RB: Agreed. The voters finally kicked him to the curb BG: Seconded. Meadow: Don’t gloat you two. He isn’t quite what the Torygraph and Fail make him out to be. RB: Thug, enforcer, same thing. If he had redeeming qualities it would be one thing. You’d be hard-pressed to find a quorum in caucus that likes him. Not to mention a perfect example of a machinist. Scott_B: He takes the fight to Cameron, that’s why many Labourites respect him. That’s over now. Lord Roem: Chaps, sorry for interrupting this rather lively discussion o) but Hampstead and Kilburn is about to declare. RB: Apologies, your Lordship. *Fingers crossed*
BRUCE: Standby for the Hampstead and Kilburn count.
“Alcantara, Gene, Independent: 91 votes. Osmond, Tansim, Tansim Osmond to the Commons: 123. Moore, Victoria, British National Party: 328 votes. Nielsen, Magnus, UK Independence Party: 408 votes. Campbell, Beatrix, Green: 759 votes. Fordham, Edward, Liberal Democrat: 16,111 votes. Jackson, Glenda, Labour: 17,246 votes. Philp, Chris, Conservative: 17,343 votes. I, the returning officer, hereby declare Chris Philp duly elected Member for Hampstead and Kilburn.”
CON GAIN FROM LAB
DIMBLEBY: “A Conservative gain from Labour with a swing of over 10%, one of the largest as yet this evening. Glenda Jackson is now thanking her constituents for the “great privilege of serving you over the past 18 years” and announcing that this is the end of her political career. And a distinguished career it was indeed, serving as an MP since 1992 and a prominent actress before entering politics. We now go to Conservative headquarters.
The mood here is decidedly optimistic even if mid-level party sources are telling us that a majority is increasingly unlikely given the current seat counts. David Cameron is in his Witney constituency and is expected to appear in a few hours once the results are in. You can see the onlookers outside cheering each time a Conservative projection is made.
PAXMAN: Thank you. Edinburgh South is about to declare.
“Burgess, Steve, Scottish Green: 881 votes. Howat, Sandy, Scottish National Party: 3,354 votes. Hudson, Neil, Conservative: 9,452 votes. Murray, Ian, Labour: 14,674 votes. Mackintosh, Fred, Liberal Democrat: 15,386 votes. I, the returning officer, duly declare Fred Mackintosh elected Member for Edinburgh South."
LIB DEM GAIN FROM LAB
No 10, 0534
JF: We’re bleeding badly from both sides Prime Minister. Looks like a bloodbath... what did Balls have to say? GB: The usual mixture of sadness and anger that all defeated candidates feel. Yvette won massively, and she was just next door. Tell Sue to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. If I find out that anybody is planning something, let’s just say they’ll wish that I only did to them what I did to Alistair a few months ago. You know the people- yes, people- that I’m talking about. JF: Right on it Prime Minister. GB: Find Alistair, there’s something I wish to discuss privately with him. JF: Yes sir.
Conservative HQ, 0545
DC: Looks like we’re on our way to government, doesn’t it George? GO: Yes, but whether Brown resigns immediately remains to be seen. Still, we need a backup plan in case something is cooked up behind closed doors. DC: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? GO: Gordon Brown, or did I guess wrong? DC: No, you guessed correctly. I expect to see a madcap of leaking over the next few hours. Continue planning, but let’s also sit back and enjoy the ride: remember Napoleon’s maxim.
SKY NEWS HQ, 0617 ADAM BOULTON: Here are the results from Dudley North.
“Kevin Inman, National Front: 173 votes. Ken Griffiths, British National Party: 1901 votes. Malcolm Davies, UK Independence Party: 3264 votes. Mike Beckett, Liberal Democrat: 4,035 votes. Ian Austin, Labour: 14,152 votes. Graeme Brown, Conservative: 15,059 votes. I, the returning officer, duly declare Graeme Brown elected Member for Dudley North.”
CON GAIN FROM LAB
AB: We now move onto Great Grimsby, where Austin Mitchell is trying to retain the seat he has held for the past 28 years. The count is just about finished...
No 10, 0658
GB: Convene a Cabinet meeting for 2; we need to discuss the next steps. Not just P&P, the full Cabinet. No one is to make any public statements. NB: Yes sir.
“So what’s your plan at Cabinet?” “Say that we’ve lost the electorate’s confidence and therefore must vacate the premises. I don’t see any other way of interpreting our results; the popular vote was nearly as bad as ‘83, or even ’18. In any case, it would be fruitless to... you know. We have to go into opposition and start rebuilding. No need for unduly rushing things if that happens. Might not go over well, but we have to take the risk.” “You need support for something like this.” “Is there anyone you know who would support the alternative? Alan, Alistair, Peter, Harriet aren’t among them."
- As recorded in Ed Miliband's diary, 07/05/10
BBC1 Studio, 0941
DD: Here are the current standings: Conservative 301, Labour 234, and Liberal Democrat 50. Popular vote estimates: roughly 38% Conservative, 28% Labour and 24% Liberal Democrat. This is the largest swing from Conservative to Labour since 1979, and we can now project a hung Parliament, since it is mathematically impossible for the Conservatives to form a majority government with the seats remaining.
Cabinet Room, 2 PM
GB: A great fucking catastrophe is what this is. I see 2 options: cobbling something together with the minor-party blowhards and that posh bugger Clegg, or going into opposition. HH: It wouldn’t last more than a few months at best, and for what? Five more months of Cabinet salary? Six months of being subjected to Chinese water torture by the media? PM: Everyone repeat after me: February 1974. We’d be crucified by Murdoch and his gang for trying to hang on. GB: Don’t be so such a passive-aggressive sod Peter! If you think I’m acting like a sore loser, say it to my goddamn face, will you! We are allowed to exhaust our options before turning over power, and I’m not giving No 10 to the toff one second earlier than necessary. DM: I also think we should go into opposition as soon as the count is done. A quick handover, get it over with by tomorrow, Saturday latest. GB: You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Then again, swots always like when things go exactly as planned. AJ: Let’s not be unduly hasty here. I propose that we wait for the count, and then reconvene later if that’s all right with you Gordon. Can everyone be here at 7? HH: Yes. AJ: Absolutely. PM: Yes. JS: I’ll be here. DM: As will I.
As the Milibands left No 10, David placed a call he’d been waiting for all day, only to get the message machine. Bloody hell, the one time we need to talk and he’s not there...