I want to read the TL but looks like it already excessed 1000 page, on the other hand I'm really wondering what is going on. Could someone summarize what happened in this TL so far.
I hope I don't want much
I hope I don't want much
Stupid Luck and Happenstance, Thread III
- Thread starter Peabody-Martini
- Start date
Your best bet is to read it. It WILL take a while but it will be worth it.
Ok, basic premise is as follows:
One man accidentally causes the Battle of Verdun to go the way of the Germans. And then about 50+ years worth of things happen with multiple updates per week.
I can only echo the advice that you just read it, it will take a while, but it is well worth it.
Part 109, Chapter 1790
Chapter One Thousand Seven Hundred Ninety
1st April 1967
Mitte, Berlin
The Producer counted down until the live broadcast started of the segment of the Saturday Evening News that Zella was going to do, stopping at three and continuing with hand gestures. The red light came on and she began the presentation.
“Tonight, I take you to Northern Bavaria” Zella read aloud from the teleprompter, “Where a struggle between man and nature at its most primal is taking place.”
On cue, the video that Zella had shot and edited over the previous days appeared on the screen. Dozens of men armed with clubs and dogs were seen marching down country roads, as if to go to war. The swelling score of classical music just like newsreel footage from the Soviet War played in the background.
“A moderate winter has resulted in an explosion in the population of the highly territorial and aggressive Fränkishe Bratwurst” Zella read, “As they emerge from their burrows in the early spring, they represent a menace to nearby communities that these brave men volunteer to combat.”
The video monitor showed a bratwurst hurtling across a field with men scrambling to get out of the way. It had taken a few tries, but Zella had managed to put together a sequence where the monofilament line pulling the bratwurst wasn’t as visible.
“And look at that” Zella read with a smile, “They got a big one.”
One the video it showed a man grinning widely as he held up a bratwurst.
“But it is not all glory” Zella read solemnly as the music shifted to reflect that. “What bratwurst lack in size they frequently make up in numbers and they put up a fight.”
The video showed the men scrambling to get out of the way as bratwurst were thrown at them from off camera. Then a man with his arm in a sling being carried on a stretcher that was getting loaded onto a lorry.
“But our boys are more than up to that battle” Zella read, as the music took on a triumphant tone.
The video showed men carrying on the battle against the sausages. Mostly, it was just them running around and beating at the bushes with clubs and the dogs attacking the rogue bratwurst. Zella remembered that it had not taken much effort to get the dogs to do that…
Jena
“Has Zella lost her mind?” Vicky asked as they watched her on television.
“It’s April Fool’s day” Kiki replied from the chair where she was sitting with Hera on her lap and Rauchbier looking fearfully up from the floor by her feet. “She said that she had a lot of fun with this project.”
“I think it is funny” Anna said from the couch where she was sitting with Vicky.
Kiki got the impression that the two of them had been planning a romantic weekend and that her coming home unexpectedly had thrown a wrench into the gears. Not that the Hospital Administrator had given her a lot of choice. The day before he had found out how many hours Kiki was putting in while she was in the Emergency Department, then turning around and treating the Ambulance Service as a second job. She had been working six-day weeks while taking barely enough time to sleep. She had been called into his office and read the riot act. It seemed that her reputation had preceded her, and the Administrator was convinced that she would burn herself out. So, he had sent Kiki home and ordered her to stay away until Tuesday. The trouble was that everyone else had made plans that had assumed that she would be in Halle for the entire weekend.
Zella’s presentation concluded with an innuendo filled segment about a festival in Nuremberg held in honor of the brave men who battled the bratwurst. Whoever wrote that must have been laughing their heads off and Kiki had no idea how Zella was reading it aloud while keeping a straight face.
With that, the news shifted to the weekly Sport report and Vicky got up to change the channel. It was just in time for the start of an episode of the latest series of Doctor Brauer. Vicky had a smug look on her face as she sat back down on the couch with Anna. The medical drama had been on for years and this series featured a young noblewoman who was obviously based on the gonzo tabloid version of Kiki; prudish, introverted, and an obsessive workaholic. Beyond the technical mistakes that television shows made and the stupid contrived plots that added far more drama than existed in real life, the show doing that was a low blow as far as Kiki was concerned. Vicky had clearly changed the channel to this with one thing in mind, getting her to leave.
“I can take a hint” Kiki said as Vicky and Anna snuggled together on the couch, pointedly ignoring her. “The next time Benjamin comes around I would like a bit of consideration from both of you.”
With that, Hera jumped off Kiki’s lap and stalked out of the parlor. Rauchbier gave her a whine, which he did whenever he needed to go out. Deeply annoyed with the entire world. Kiki walked through the house before opening the back door and watching Rauchbier run off into the night. The last few minutes had been a perfect microcosm of her entire life lately.
1st April 1967
Mitte, Berlin
The Producer counted down until the live broadcast started of the segment of the Saturday Evening News that Zella was going to do, stopping at three and continuing with hand gestures. The red light came on and she began the presentation.
“Tonight, I take you to Northern Bavaria” Zella read aloud from the teleprompter, “Where a struggle between man and nature at its most primal is taking place.”
On cue, the video that Zella had shot and edited over the previous days appeared on the screen. Dozens of men armed with clubs and dogs were seen marching down country roads, as if to go to war. The swelling score of classical music just like newsreel footage from the Soviet War played in the background.
“A moderate winter has resulted in an explosion in the population of the highly territorial and aggressive Fränkishe Bratwurst” Zella read, “As they emerge from their burrows in the early spring, they represent a menace to nearby communities that these brave men volunteer to combat.”
The video monitor showed a bratwurst hurtling across a field with men scrambling to get out of the way. It had taken a few tries, but Zella had managed to put together a sequence where the monofilament line pulling the bratwurst wasn’t as visible.
“And look at that” Zella read with a smile, “They got a big one.”
One the video it showed a man grinning widely as he held up a bratwurst.
“But it is not all glory” Zella read solemnly as the music shifted to reflect that. “What bratwurst lack in size they frequently make up in numbers and they put up a fight.”
The video showed the men scrambling to get out of the way as bratwurst were thrown at them from off camera. Then a man with his arm in a sling being carried on a stretcher that was getting loaded onto a lorry.
“But our boys are more than up to that battle” Zella read, as the music took on a triumphant tone.
The video showed men carrying on the battle against the sausages. Mostly, it was just them running around and beating at the bushes with clubs and the dogs attacking the rogue bratwurst. Zella remembered that it had not taken much effort to get the dogs to do that…
Jena
“Has Zella lost her mind?” Vicky asked as they watched her on television.
“It’s April Fool’s day” Kiki replied from the chair where she was sitting with Hera on her lap and Rauchbier looking fearfully up from the floor by her feet. “She said that she had a lot of fun with this project.”
“I think it is funny” Anna said from the couch where she was sitting with Vicky.
Kiki got the impression that the two of them had been planning a romantic weekend and that her coming home unexpectedly had thrown a wrench into the gears. Not that the Hospital Administrator had given her a lot of choice. The day before he had found out how many hours Kiki was putting in while she was in the Emergency Department, then turning around and treating the Ambulance Service as a second job. She had been working six-day weeks while taking barely enough time to sleep. She had been called into his office and read the riot act. It seemed that her reputation had preceded her, and the Administrator was convinced that she would burn herself out. So, he had sent Kiki home and ordered her to stay away until Tuesday. The trouble was that everyone else had made plans that had assumed that she would be in Halle for the entire weekend.
Zella’s presentation concluded with an innuendo filled segment about a festival in Nuremberg held in honor of the brave men who battled the bratwurst. Whoever wrote that must have been laughing their heads off and Kiki had no idea how Zella was reading it aloud while keeping a straight face.
With that, the news shifted to the weekly Sport report and Vicky got up to change the channel. It was just in time for the start of an episode of the latest series of Doctor Brauer. Vicky had a smug look on her face as she sat back down on the couch with Anna. The medical drama had been on for years and this series featured a young noblewoman who was obviously based on the gonzo tabloid version of Kiki; prudish, introverted, and an obsessive workaholic. Beyond the technical mistakes that television shows made and the stupid contrived plots that added far more drama than existed in real life, the show doing that was a low blow as far as Kiki was concerned. Vicky had clearly changed the channel to this with one thing in mind, getting her to leave.
“I can take a hint” Kiki said as Vicky and Anna snuggled together on the couch, pointedly ignoring her. “The next time Benjamin comes around I would like a bit of consideration from both of you.”
With that, Hera jumped off Kiki’s lap and stalked out of the parlor. Rauchbier gave her a whine, which he did whenever he needed to go out. Deeply annoyed with the entire world. Kiki walked through the house before opening the back door and watching Rauchbier run off into the night. The last few minutes had been a perfect microcosm of her entire life lately.
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Maybe Zella could do this a few years early and terrify Germany utterly... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostwatch
I mean, she could. Though frankly, I'd rather she didn't. There is, after all, at least one suicide linked to that, and a rather tragic case as well.
This is a fine joke, no one's perceptions of reality is going to be completely screwed up from it, once you start down that paranormal, people's reactions can be, weird.
ferdi254
Banned
There will be a lot of grumbling from Bavarian officials unless they decide that it was not Bavaria but Franconia depicted.
If you want to know the difference go into a pub in Nuremberg at 10 pm and start adressing people as Bavarians. Only recommended with a clear way to the exit and a fast car with revving engine outside.
If you want to know the difference go into a pub in Nuremberg at 10 pm and start adressing people as Bavarians. Only recommended with a clear way to the exit and a fast car with revving engine outside.
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I was about to mention that. Just in case readers haven't seen it, the BBC pulled an April Fools' Day joke on 1 April 1957 with a story on the Swiss spaghetti harvest.
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There are many examples of this. Spaghetti harvests, alien invasions, Moon landings prior to 1969, flying penguins among other things have all been used by otherwise serious news programs.
Too right. When viewers stop falling for these stories, TV stations will stop running them.
The Bratwurst War reminded me of a prank a friend & I played on a classmate back in high school down here in New Zealand. In our defence, we were 15, bored and the classmate was extremely gullible. And from Auckland.
The prank:
My friend had lost part of his hand helping out on the family farm (fingers & carrot harvesters do not mix well). Recently-arrived-at-school classmate asked what happened over lunch. Cue 30 minutes of us convincing him that Friend had lost his fingers hunting Haggis; a smallish, super aggressive introduced predator species that is highly destructive to our native wild-life on the southern slopes of Mount Ruapehu.
The prank:
My friend had lost part of his hand helping out on the family farm (fingers & carrot harvesters do not mix well). Recently-arrived-at-school classmate asked what happened over lunch. Cue 30 minutes of us convincing him that Friend had lost his fingers hunting Haggis; a smallish, super aggressive introduced predator species that is highly destructive to our native wild-life on the southern slopes of Mount Ruapehu.
To be brief, stupid luck and happenstance! Which I understand is no help whatsoever, However, please do invest in the time to read it. You will not regret it I assure you. This is one of the top 3 TL’s on this site and that IMVHO is no exaggeration at all!
Part 109, Chapter 1791
Chapter One Thousand Seven Hundred Ninety-One
2nd April 1967
Over the Austro-German Border near Kiefersfelden
“Remember to always turn out from the ridge” Lenz said from the back seat of the sailplane as the tones from the variometer became lower pitched and further spaced.
Suse rolled the sailplane into a tight turn away from the ridge, careful to keep the speed up. The two-seat trainer was said to be a great wallowing tub. Suse had no experience with the smaller, lighter sailplanes to compare it to, so she had to take other people’s word for that. Flying back along the route that they had come, the beeping of the variometer sped up and the pitch became higher as they climbed parallel to the ridge.
“Good” Lenz said as they cleared the top of the ridge. The trees growing on the peak of the ridge seemed awfully close to Suse and she worried she was doing something wrong.
Making the run across the valley, they made a few more kilometers on the triangular course that had been laid out.
“This next ridge runs for several kilometers to the north-east” Lenz said, “Easy going with the wind direction today.”
As they reached the next ridge the sailplane started climbing and Suse turned on a course that was parallel to the top. Joining the Berlin Technical University’s Soaring Club had not been something that Suse had planned on doing and the reasons why she had was a bit embarrassing. After she had returned from Prague at the end of the previous summer, Kat had told her that she needed to get out and meet new people, go on a few dates, and have a social life as opposed to burying herself in her education. Joining a club where she was the only woman had seemed like a way to show Kat how she thought that the whole idea was absurd. Lenz Schultz, the retired Luftwaffe Ace who currently sat on the Lufthansa Board of Directors was the resident instructor for the club. Suse’s introduction to him had been a part of that and he had refused to let her back out once she had joined the club, several training flights at an airfield south of Berlin had followed though her schedule had frequently conflicted with that.
This weekend was Suse’s first chance to try her hand at Alpine soaring and it was every bit as nerve-wracking as she had thought it would be. It had come at a good time for her though. Manny, as well-meaning and aggravating as he was, had decided to reenter her life a few days before he left for the United States. He had apologized for what had happened and said that he had been an idiot for not seeing how his actions affected her. She had accepted Manny’s apology, but only with conditions and they would need to have a long talk when he got back. Like always, his timing was atrocious.
Hours later, landing at the airfield just outside Munich that was used by the Munich Tech Soaring Club, that was hosting them. Suse saw that the others in her club sitting around talking about what they had done over the course of the day.
“An announcement, gentlemen” Lenz said as he walked in, “It is my opinion that Suse Rosa is ready to fly solo and be as reckless as the rest of you.”
That resulted in them cheering and Suse being embarrassed.
Jena
I find it rather hard to fathom that I would find myself championed by the Great Granddaughter of Kaiser Bill… The letter from Doctor Stenhouse read as Kiki was trying to catch up on the pile of correspondence that had been languishing for the last week. Before she had written a letter back to the Scottish Doctor, she had looked into who Doctor Isabella Stenhouse was and had been shocked by a few details. Volunteering to serve in the Royal Army Medical Corps but denied any formal role in that organization, working as a civilian though the powers that be understood that it would be nearly impossible to do that. Kiki knew full well that things like that had played out often in the past and if she was being honest with herself, still happened.
The response by Kiki had been to send Doctor Stenhouse one of the silver beret pins of the Joint Medical Service and a letter promising that she would speak with Elizabeth of England on her behalf when she got the chance to make this right. In this new letter Stenhouse told Kiki that she was touched by her idea that something could still be done at this late date in response, but it was all water under the bridge. Regardless, in Kiki’s thinking it was something that could be addressed as opposed to the other more intractable messes she found herself dealing with.
One of the other letters Kiki had received was from Medical Service’s High Command in Koblenz had laid out how she presented them with something of a conundrum. Her name had come up among the list of Officers eligible for promotion. With her being in an elite unit like the FSR, highly decorated, and with her combat record it normally wouldn’t be a problem. The issue was that until Kiki completed her Internship she was still down as an FSR Hauptmann and Field Medic on paper. Promoting her to Oberstabsarzt, the equivalent of Major, would mean that she would outrank most of her instructors. Was it any wonder that she had been pushing herself so hard? It always felt like Kiki was outstripped by unfolding events.
2nd April 1967
Over the Austro-German Border near Kiefersfelden
“Remember to always turn out from the ridge” Lenz said from the back seat of the sailplane as the tones from the variometer became lower pitched and further spaced.
Suse rolled the sailplane into a tight turn away from the ridge, careful to keep the speed up. The two-seat trainer was said to be a great wallowing tub. Suse had no experience with the smaller, lighter sailplanes to compare it to, so she had to take other people’s word for that. Flying back along the route that they had come, the beeping of the variometer sped up and the pitch became higher as they climbed parallel to the ridge.
“Good” Lenz said as they cleared the top of the ridge. The trees growing on the peak of the ridge seemed awfully close to Suse and she worried she was doing something wrong.
Making the run across the valley, they made a few more kilometers on the triangular course that had been laid out.
“This next ridge runs for several kilometers to the north-east” Lenz said, “Easy going with the wind direction today.”
As they reached the next ridge the sailplane started climbing and Suse turned on a course that was parallel to the top. Joining the Berlin Technical University’s Soaring Club had not been something that Suse had planned on doing and the reasons why she had was a bit embarrassing. After she had returned from Prague at the end of the previous summer, Kat had told her that she needed to get out and meet new people, go on a few dates, and have a social life as opposed to burying herself in her education. Joining a club where she was the only woman had seemed like a way to show Kat how she thought that the whole idea was absurd. Lenz Schultz, the retired Luftwaffe Ace who currently sat on the Lufthansa Board of Directors was the resident instructor for the club. Suse’s introduction to him had been a part of that and he had refused to let her back out once she had joined the club, several training flights at an airfield south of Berlin had followed though her schedule had frequently conflicted with that.
This weekend was Suse’s first chance to try her hand at Alpine soaring and it was every bit as nerve-wracking as she had thought it would be. It had come at a good time for her though. Manny, as well-meaning and aggravating as he was, had decided to reenter her life a few days before he left for the United States. He had apologized for what had happened and said that he had been an idiot for not seeing how his actions affected her. She had accepted Manny’s apology, but only with conditions and they would need to have a long talk when he got back. Like always, his timing was atrocious.
Hours later, landing at the airfield just outside Munich that was used by the Munich Tech Soaring Club, that was hosting them. Suse saw that the others in her club sitting around talking about what they had done over the course of the day.
“An announcement, gentlemen” Lenz said as he walked in, “It is my opinion that Suse Rosa is ready to fly solo and be as reckless as the rest of you.”
That resulted in them cheering and Suse being embarrassed.
Jena
I find it rather hard to fathom that I would find myself championed by the Great Granddaughter of Kaiser Bill… The letter from Doctor Stenhouse read as Kiki was trying to catch up on the pile of correspondence that had been languishing for the last week. Before she had written a letter back to the Scottish Doctor, she had looked into who Doctor Isabella Stenhouse was and had been shocked by a few details. Volunteering to serve in the Royal Army Medical Corps but denied any formal role in that organization, working as a civilian though the powers that be understood that it would be nearly impossible to do that. Kiki knew full well that things like that had played out often in the past and if she was being honest with herself, still happened.
The response by Kiki had been to send Doctor Stenhouse one of the silver beret pins of the Joint Medical Service and a letter promising that she would speak with Elizabeth of England on her behalf when she got the chance to make this right. In this new letter Stenhouse told Kiki that she was touched by her idea that something could still be done at this late date in response, but it was all water under the bridge. Regardless, in Kiki’s thinking it was something that could be addressed as opposed to the other more intractable messes she found herself dealing with.
One of the other letters Kiki had received was from Medical Service’s High Command in Koblenz had laid out how she presented them with something of a conundrum. Her name had come up among the list of Officers eligible for promotion. With her being in an elite unit like the FSR, highly decorated, and with her combat record it normally wouldn’t be a problem. The issue was that until Kiki completed her Internship she was still down as an FSR Hauptmann and Field Medic on paper. Promoting her to Oberstabsarzt, the equivalent of Major, would mean that she would outrank most of her instructors. Was it any wonder that she had been pushing herself so hard? It always felt like Kiki was outstripped by unfolding events.