Chapter One Thousand Six Hundred Sixty-Seven
19th December 1964
Mitte, Berlin
If there was one thing that Suse couldn’t understand about this whole ordeal that she had been subjected to, it was Rea’s involvement. She was one of the most progressive women that Suse had ever met. Yet here Ria was involved with an outmoded ritualized display that was totally misogynistic in nature, implying that that young women were only worth their availability for marriage and the potential ability to produce preferably male heirs. No matter how they tried to dress it up in the whole notion of coming of age, it was impossible to escape the origins of the event. When Suse asked Rea about that, she just smiled and said that it was really quite fun when it was someone else’s turn in the barrel and she didn’t need to participate herself. Suse knew the joke that Ria was referring to about a Naval Recruit who learns too late about one of the aspects of his life aboard the ship.
So, the answer was pure sadism.
It wasn’t as if Suse was surprised. She had been discovering that was how adults tended to view the world. It was all fun and games, so long as someone else took the drop. Suse’s mother had told her that she was being melodramatic. Her introduction to the Imperial Court was a chance to make new friends and there were a huge number of opportunities that would present themselves by her doing this. Suse’s father had a different take. He said that because of the Great Depression and the Spanish War, her mother had been unable to do this herself when she was Suse’s age. If that was the case, why did her mother have to once again try to relive her life through her? And this business with getting Manny to escort her. That was pure wish fulfilment on her mother’s part right there. Manny’s mother had been rather pragmatic about the whole thing when they had spoken earlier. “Just humor Gerta” Helene had said, “You know how she gets.” That was easy for her to say, she wasn’t the one standing here in a preposterous white dress trying to pretend that she was something that everyone knew she clearly was not.
“You look amazing” Suse’s mother said as they looked in the mirror. Like always seemed to happen, the dress and her hair had gone with a rose theme.
“I should have shaved my head” Suse muttered. Not even her mother could work with that.
“You would have gotten off on it until the first time you saw yourself in a mirror” Gerta said, “Then you would have really fallen apart and there would be no way that you would get off that easily. Tonight, is about you not passing up something that you will always remember fondly and without regret, whether you like it or not.”
This was worse than her sixteenth birthday.
“And it won’t kill you to not be a sour little bitch for once my little rose” Suse’s mother said, the expression on her face never changing as she said that, though there was a lot of frustration in the tone of voice that she used.
That was something else that Suse’s father had told her. That she aggravated her mother to no end, but her mother went out of her way not to show it. That was when Suse felt a bit of the annoying guilt that she felt whenever she was reminded of how her mother had gone all out for her again and again since she was a baby. She just wished that her mother wasn’t so suffocating at times.
That was what was at the forefront of Suse’s mind as she followed her mother downstairs. The dress was proving to be a bother. It had been designed to accentuate what figure Suse did have, just that required her to be so tightly cinched into it that she felt like could hardly move. It also pushed things in certain directions and was cut in a way that left her feeling very self-conscious.
Entering the parlor, Suse saw her father talking with Manny. They were only required to wear a suit and tie to this event, though her father was wearing the black dress uniform tunic of the Panzer Corps with the medals and orders pinned to it. The unfairness of that irked Suse to no end. Still, she saw the look of surprise on Manny’s face as he noticed her.
“I wasn’t expecting this Suse” Manny said as he stood up. “I didn’t realize that underneath…”
Manny trailed off and Suse’s father clapped him on the back.
“Don’t start the evening by digging yourself a hole you won’t be able to get out of Manfred” Suse’s father said before turning to her, “You look beautiful Suse Rosa.”
That left Suse feeling awkward. Was she supposed to thank him for that?
“One more thing before we leave” Suse’s mother said as she walked in from the hallway. “You’ll catch your death if you wear just that dress out tonight. For you.”
Her mother was holding the fur coat made from the white pelts of arctic foxes. It was gorgeous, for years Suse had seen it hanging in the walk-in closet in her parent’s bedroom but had never been allowed to touch it. Manny’s reaction wasn’t what Suse expected though.
“Didn’t that once belong to my mother?” Manny asked absently.
“And Helene gave it to me as a gift because she said it was entirely impractical with two children in the house” Suse’s mother replied, “It’s Suse’s now and it goes perfectly with that dress.”
With that, the coat was thrown over Suse’s shoulders. Her mother was right about it being perfect.
19th December 1964
Mitte, Berlin
If there was one thing that Suse couldn’t understand about this whole ordeal that she had been subjected to, it was Rea’s involvement. She was one of the most progressive women that Suse had ever met. Yet here Ria was involved with an outmoded ritualized display that was totally misogynistic in nature, implying that that young women were only worth their availability for marriage and the potential ability to produce preferably male heirs. No matter how they tried to dress it up in the whole notion of coming of age, it was impossible to escape the origins of the event. When Suse asked Rea about that, she just smiled and said that it was really quite fun when it was someone else’s turn in the barrel and she didn’t need to participate herself. Suse knew the joke that Ria was referring to about a Naval Recruit who learns too late about one of the aspects of his life aboard the ship.
So, the answer was pure sadism.
It wasn’t as if Suse was surprised. She had been discovering that was how adults tended to view the world. It was all fun and games, so long as someone else took the drop. Suse’s mother had told her that she was being melodramatic. Her introduction to the Imperial Court was a chance to make new friends and there were a huge number of opportunities that would present themselves by her doing this. Suse’s father had a different take. He said that because of the Great Depression and the Spanish War, her mother had been unable to do this herself when she was Suse’s age. If that was the case, why did her mother have to once again try to relive her life through her? And this business with getting Manny to escort her. That was pure wish fulfilment on her mother’s part right there. Manny’s mother had been rather pragmatic about the whole thing when they had spoken earlier. “Just humor Gerta” Helene had said, “You know how she gets.” That was easy for her to say, she wasn’t the one standing here in a preposterous white dress trying to pretend that she was something that everyone knew she clearly was not.
“You look amazing” Suse’s mother said as they looked in the mirror. Like always seemed to happen, the dress and her hair had gone with a rose theme.
“I should have shaved my head” Suse muttered. Not even her mother could work with that.
“You would have gotten off on it until the first time you saw yourself in a mirror” Gerta said, “Then you would have really fallen apart and there would be no way that you would get off that easily. Tonight, is about you not passing up something that you will always remember fondly and without regret, whether you like it or not.”
This was worse than her sixteenth birthday.
“And it won’t kill you to not be a sour little bitch for once my little rose” Suse’s mother said, the expression on her face never changing as she said that, though there was a lot of frustration in the tone of voice that she used.
That was something else that Suse’s father had told her. That she aggravated her mother to no end, but her mother went out of her way not to show it. That was when Suse felt a bit of the annoying guilt that she felt whenever she was reminded of how her mother had gone all out for her again and again since she was a baby. She just wished that her mother wasn’t so suffocating at times.
That was what was at the forefront of Suse’s mind as she followed her mother downstairs. The dress was proving to be a bother. It had been designed to accentuate what figure Suse did have, just that required her to be so tightly cinched into it that she felt like could hardly move. It also pushed things in certain directions and was cut in a way that left her feeling very self-conscious.
Entering the parlor, Suse saw her father talking with Manny. They were only required to wear a suit and tie to this event, though her father was wearing the black dress uniform tunic of the Panzer Corps with the medals and orders pinned to it. The unfairness of that irked Suse to no end. Still, she saw the look of surprise on Manny’s face as he noticed her.
“I wasn’t expecting this Suse” Manny said as he stood up. “I didn’t realize that underneath…”
Manny trailed off and Suse’s father clapped him on the back.
“Don’t start the evening by digging yourself a hole you won’t be able to get out of Manfred” Suse’s father said before turning to her, “You look beautiful Suse Rosa.”
That left Suse feeling awkward. Was she supposed to thank him for that?
“One more thing before we leave” Suse’s mother said as she walked in from the hallway. “You’ll catch your death if you wear just that dress out tonight. For you.”
Her mother was holding the fur coat made from the white pelts of arctic foxes. It was gorgeous, for years Suse had seen it hanging in the walk-in closet in her parent’s bedroom but had never been allowed to touch it. Manny’s reaction wasn’t what Suse expected though.
“Didn’t that once belong to my mother?” Manny asked absently.
“And Helene gave it to me as a gift because she said it was entirely impractical with two children in the house” Suse’s mother replied, “It’s Suse’s now and it goes perfectly with that dress.”
With that, the coat was thrown over Suse’s shoulders. Her mother was right about it being perfect.
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