Part 75, Chapter 1111
Chapter One Thousand One Hundred Eleven
5th November 1954
Berlin
The newspaper headlines were going on about the American elections and what fractures in the majority Democratic Party meant. Kris considered it a bit of a distraction from what was happening in the city she was standing in. In reaction to the recently announced snap elections, Berlin had come to a standstill because of competing political rallies as the condensed insanity of the short election season gripped the city. Kat’s friend Helene had said that the election had come sooner than she might have liked but she and her friend Sophie were optimistic.
Kris herself was in a difficult personal situation, a hairline fracture in her right wrist would turn out to be something that would affect her for the rest of her life. Kris’ Doctor had said that likely because of childhood malnutrition her that bones were weak. It was something that she would have to keep in mind whenever she took any actions that might entail risk. That wasn’t as much of a problem as many might think considering what her profession was. Being an agent of the Empress didn’t involve much violence, mostly it involved going places and talking to people. Nothing at all like what Ian Fleming had depicted with James Bond. Still, being careful was something that always had to be at the back of her mind. There were also other lingering matters from Kris’ past life that just would not go away. The woman whose neglect was responsible for so many of her present problems had contacted Kris and had wanted to meet in a neutral public location. A third-rate eatery with bad food and worse coffee had been what Kris had agreed to. She didn’t want to get thrown out of a place that she actually liked.
“I’m glad that agreed to meet me” Hannah said as Kris glared across the table at her.
“There wasn’t a violent drunk that you could be making excuses for this time?” Kris asked, she was keeping her voice mild but inside she was seething. “When you weren’t contributing directly to the problem.”
“I deserve your anger” Hannah replied, “But your father is gone from our lives.”
Kris had not said that she had taken the time a few years earlier to track down her father only to discover that he had died of liver failure and had been cremated. It had been very disappointing for Kris, she had been deprived of killing him herself and didn’t even have a grave to dance on.
“At least you acknowledge that much” Kris said, but her voice must have had more of an edge on it then she intended to because she saw Hannah visibly wilt before her.
“I’m trying to make amends here Kristine” Hannah said weakly, “It’s a part of the program. I would hope that as my daughter you might understand.”
Kris looked at Hannah unsure exactly how to respond to that. In her opinion Hannah had lost any right to call herself Kris’ mother when she had refused to take on the responsibility that entailed. Especially after her neglect had nearly killed Kris.
“You said you’ve stopped drinking?” Kris asked for lack of anything else to say.
“I’m trying” Hannah replied, “I had to wake up in a hospital having lost everything. My marriage was over, and my family was gone, before I realized that I had to either change things or I would die.”
“That was entirely your doing” Kris stated.
“It was” Hannah said, Kris was surprised that she was agreeing with that assessment. “I treated you horribly and I know that I can’t ever take that back.”
“Starvation, broken bones and neglect” Kris said, “And you were covering for him.”
“Do you think that you were the only one he did that too?” Hannah asked, “I hope that you never learn the power that addiction can have over you, I truly regret that you got caught up in that.”
Kris saw Hannah’s face and knew that Hannah was trying to be genuine in her efforts to reach out to her, but Kris knew she couldn’t trust it. She had seen too often how easily people fell back into old habits. She couldn’t allow herself to be hurt by this woman again and it was obvious the sort of manipulation that was very likely going on. Kris had been trained to do exactly what Hannah was doing. Appeal to Kris’ sympathies, get Kris to identify with her.
“I’m sorry” Kris said, “Your negligence is spelled out in my body, fragile bones and stunted growth. It’s good that you are trying to make amends, but I can’t accept it. Saying that you’re sorry doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“I’m not trying to get you to just accept my apology” Hannah replied, “My hope was that in time you might allow me back into your life.”
“Why now?” Kris asked, “You went years without talking to me?”
“I was scared that you were angry” Hannah said, “And that you would want nothing to do with me.”
“You would be right about that” Kris replied, and she saw Hannah wilt again.
“I hear things about you” Hannah said, “That you travel a lot and do amazing things. The sort of life I wasn’t able to give you.”
The problem was obvious. The life that Kris had made it so that she knew to be suspicious of Hannah, but the little girl who had desperately wanted her parent’s approval no matter how abusive and neglectful they were lived on in her.
5th November 1954
Berlin
The newspaper headlines were going on about the American elections and what fractures in the majority Democratic Party meant. Kris considered it a bit of a distraction from what was happening in the city she was standing in. In reaction to the recently announced snap elections, Berlin had come to a standstill because of competing political rallies as the condensed insanity of the short election season gripped the city. Kat’s friend Helene had said that the election had come sooner than she might have liked but she and her friend Sophie were optimistic.
Kris herself was in a difficult personal situation, a hairline fracture in her right wrist would turn out to be something that would affect her for the rest of her life. Kris’ Doctor had said that likely because of childhood malnutrition her that bones were weak. It was something that she would have to keep in mind whenever she took any actions that might entail risk. That wasn’t as much of a problem as many might think considering what her profession was. Being an agent of the Empress didn’t involve much violence, mostly it involved going places and talking to people. Nothing at all like what Ian Fleming had depicted with James Bond. Still, being careful was something that always had to be at the back of her mind. There were also other lingering matters from Kris’ past life that just would not go away. The woman whose neglect was responsible for so many of her present problems had contacted Kris and had wanted to meet in a neutral public location. A third-rate eatery with bad food and worse coffee had been what Kris had agreed to. She didn’t want to get thrown out of a place that she actually liked.
“I’m glad that agreed to meet me” Hannah said as Kris glared across the table at her.
“There wasn’t a violent drunk that you could be making excuses for this time?” Kris asked, she was keeping her voice mild but inside she was seething. “When you weren’t contributing directly to the problem.”
“I deserve your anger” Hannah replied, “But your father is gone from our lives.”
Kris had not said that she had taken the time a few years earlier to track down her father only to discover that he had died of liver failure and had been cremated. It had been very disappointing for Kris, she had been deprived of killing him herself and didn’t even have a grave to dance on.
“At least you acknowledge that much” Kris said, but her voice must have had more of an edge on it then she intended to because she saw Hannah visibly wilt before her.
“I’m trying to make amends here Kristine” Hannah said weakly, “It’s a part of the program. I would hope that as my daughter you might understand.”
Kris looked at Hannah unsure exactly how to respond to that. In her opinion Hannah had lost any right to call herself Kris’ mother when she had refused to take on the responsibility that entailed. Especially after her neglect had nearly killed Kris.
“You said you’ve stopped drinking?” Kris asked for lack of anything else to say.
“I’m trying” Hannah replied, “I had to wake up in a hospital having lost everything. My marriage was over, and my family was gone, before I realized that I had to either change things or I would die.”
“That was entirely your doing” Kris stated.
“It was” Hannah said, Kris was surprised that she was agreeing with that assessment. “I treated you horribly and I know that I can’t ever take that back.”
“Starvation, broken bones and neglect” Kris said, “And you were covering for him.”
“Do you think that you were the only one he did that too?” Hannah asked, “I hope that you never learn the power that addiction can have over you, I truly regret that you got caught up in that.”
Kris saw Hannah’s face and knew that Hannah was trying to be genuine in her efforts to reach out to her, but Kris knew she couldn’t trust it. She had seen too often how easily people fell back into old habits. She couldn’t allow herself to be hurt by this woman again and it was obvious the sort of manipulation that was very likely going on. Kris had been trained to do exactly what Hannah was doing. Appeal to Kris’ sympathies, get Kris to identify with her.
“I’m sorry” Kris said, “Your negligence is spelled out in my body, fragile bones and stunted growth. It’s good that you are trying to make amends, but I can’t accept it. Saying that you’re sorry doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“I’m not trying to get you to just accept my apology” Hannah replied, “My hope was that in time you might allow me back into your life.”
“Why now?” Kris asked, “You went years without talking to me?”
“I was scared that you were angry” Hannah said, “And that you would want nothing to do with me.”
“You would be right about that” Kris replied, and she saw Hannah wilt again.
“I hear things about you” Hannah said, “That you travel a lot and do amazing things. The sort of life I wasn’t able to give you.”
The problem was obvious. The life that Kris had made it so that she knew to be suspicious of Hannah, but the little girl who had desperately wanted her parent’s approval no matter how abusive and neglectful they were lived on in her.
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