Stupid Luck and Happenstance, Thread II

Assuming they are able to put a lid on things. The USA couldn't in Vietnam, or in the Middle East OTL. The rest of Europe (at least the majors) are perhaps even more loath to spend, since they were nearly ruined by the Great War, and haven't had war brought home to them since.

No the lions share of burden will fall on Germany.

A loss in supply increases prices everywhere. Especially if Russia wishes to leverage its natural resources for power and wealth, US oil will start to look pretty damn attractive.


In 1939 the USA on her own was the equal of the entire rest of the world combined in production capacity.

Literally she on her own, could outmatch Germany, France, Russia, Italy, and the United Kingdom combined.

After spending greatly in WWII, she then financed the reconstruction of Europe.


The United States' true capacity is simply staggering, and her pockets frighteningly deep. All PM has done so far is to hold the United States in check.

Germany still, quite correctly, views them as their primary rival.

You are wrong, that was in 1945 with Europe in ruins, not in 1939.
 
Peabody-Martini

I have little skill at writing stories, but I am able to recognize and really enjoy a well-told tale such as this one! Kudos, Kudos, a thousand times Kudos.

However, I have one beef. The story needs to have Serious Editing done to it. Your story is full of grammar errors such as incomplete sentences, words missing in sentences, run-on sentences, incorrect or missing punctuation, misuse of words; the good old "there, their, they're" "your, you're" "to, too, two" and especially egregious is your repeated and continued use of "except" when the correct word is "accept". Look at the definitions!!

EXCEPT:
PREPOSITION

  1. not including; other than.
CONJUNCTION
  1. used before a statement that forms an exception to one just made.

VERB (formal)
  1. specify as not included in a category or group; exclude.
ACCEPT:
VERB
  1. consent to receive (a thing offered).
  2. give an affirmative answer to (an offer or proposal); say yes to.
  3. believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct.

TBH, as rollicking good as the story is, with the great character development that is (IMHO) the real focus of the story, (again IMHO) the grammar errors really, really disrupt the flow of reading the story, and a decent job of editing would increase the readability immensely. A decent job of editing would be fairly time-consuming because you, sir, are a very prolific writer and there's a boatload of material to review... over 1,000 chapters and close to what, 900,000 to 1 million words?? A lot, whatever the number!!! But the editing really needs to be done, especially if you continue to offer your literary efforts on Amazon's ebook platform. No matter how good the story is, poor readability will smother the endeavor.

Just sayin'.
 
Peabody-Martini

I have little skill at writing stories, but I am able to recognize and really enjoy a well-told tale such as this one! Kudos, Kudos, a thousand times Kudos.

However, I have one beef. The story needs to have Serious Editing done to it. Your story is full of grammar errors such as incomplete sentences, words missing in sentences, run-on sentences, incorrect or missing punctuation, misuse of words; the good old "there, their, they're" "your, you're" "to, too, two" and especially egregious is your repeated and continued use of "except" when the correct word is "accept". Look at the definitions!!

EXCEPT:
PREPOSITION

  1. not including; other than.
CONJUNCTION
  1. used before a statement that forms an exception to one just made.

VERB (formal)
  1. specify as not included in a category or group; exclude.
ACCEPT:
VERB
  1. consent to receive (a thing offered).
  2. give an affirmative answer to (an offer or proposal); say yes to.
  3. believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct.
TBH, as rollicking good as the story is, with the great character development that is (IMHO) the real focus of the story, (again IMHO) the grammar errors really, really disrupt the flow of reading the story, and a decent job of editing would increase the readability immensely. A decent job of editing would be fairly time-consuming because you, sir, are a very prolific writer and there's a boatload of material to review... over 1,000 chapters and close to what, 900,000 to 1 million words?? A lot, whatever the number!!! But the editing really needs to be done, especially if you continue to offer your literary efforts on Amazon's ebook platform. No matter how good the story is, poor readability will smother the endeavor.

Just sayin'.
Nitpick much.......
 
I know, but I was brought up by people who taught me everything before the however or but was only there for a nicety, so I know he's trying to help But could have perhaps said it in a better way

Peabody-Martini

I have little skill at writing stories, but I am able to recognize and really enjoy a well-told tale such as this one! Kudos, Kudos, a thousand times Kudos.

However, I have one beef. The story needs to have Serious Editing done to it. Your story is full of grammar errors such as incomplete sentences, words missing in sentences, run-on sentences, incorrect or missing punctuation, misuse of words; the good old "there, their, they're" "your, you're" "to, too, two" and especially egregious is your repeated and continued use of "except" when the correct word is "accept". Look at the definitions!!

EXCEPT:
PREPOSITION

  1. not including; other than.
CONJUNCTION
  1. used before a statement that forms an exception to one just made.

VERB (formal)
  1. specify as not included in a category or group; exclude.
ACCEPT:
VERB
  1. consent to receive (a thing offered).
  2. give an affirmative answer to (an offer or proposal); say yes to.
  3. believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct.
TBH, as rollicking good as the story is, with the great character development that is (IMHO) the real focus of the story, (again IMHO) the grammar errors really, really disrupt the flow of reading the story, and a decent job of editing would increase the readability immensely. A decent job of editing would be fairly time-consuming because you, sir, are a very prolific writer and there's a boatload of material to review... over 1,000 chapters and close to what, 900,000 to 1 million words?? A lot, whatever the number!!! But the editing really needs to be done, especially if you continue to offer your literary efforts on Amazon's ebook platform. No matter how good the story is, poor readability will smother the endeavor.

Just sayin'.
pM’s stories have a lot less typo’s and errors than mine, but it us true they are there.
However, perfect format takes time and with real life taking priority and only so many hours in a day, the time can only come from the substance or the speed of TL progression.
I am happy with the course taken and look for new updates every day, and I am seldom dissapointed.
Keep up the good work and please dont slow down
 
The post should have gone to Peabody-Martini in Conversation instead of being posted so that everyone else could see, and to be unfair, this to me seems like "Grammar Shaming" and it is not helpful at all.
Lord knows how bad my writing is and if I received a lot of criticism (rightfully) for it, it might make me not want to participate and others may also will not want to participate if they are unduly criticized themselves and that is not a good thing for this site.
From what I have seen, Peabody-Martini will take your constructive criticism and re-edit his posts accordingly.
 
Some people are writers of original material, some people are proof readers, that's the nature of life.
@Swooper - welcome to the board and you've chosen an excellent story to follow and leave your first comment on too.

As fans, people can be more protective over a work than the original author. Simply as over time you become emotionally invested in the story, (another sign of good writing). I would echo that a PM to PM may be more appropriate.

However, that aside, enjoy the roller coaster that is Stupid Luck and Happenstance.
 
Well, TBH, I don't see any mechanism for sending a PM to PM re: need for editing. There isn't any sort of button or link that I have seen indicating the ability to send PMs. Someone want to point out the mechanism to send PM a PM for future reference?

I read the story pretty much in Binge Mode so I am really quite new here.

I am also not a Grammar Nazi, or a "nit picker" (as one of you lovely people put it) but have spent time as a professional editor and know how editing can make or break a manuscript. Since I did buy the first part of this story on Amazon, replete with errors, I wanted to help make the reading better in the event that PM puts the rest of the story out as an ebook (which he certainly should do!). Also, TBH, with proper editing, I'd be more than happy to purchase the ebook (hopefully continuing as a longer series of ebooks) for as much as $8.00 to $10.00 USD each. PM's story is that good. Story is first rate.

And to the people who are chewing me out publicly for what they say should I have done privately, gee, that's very much the kettle calling the pot black - "Oy! Your grimy arse!!!" I hate to be harsh, but get over it, eh?? I detect the foul odor of hypocrisy and I don't abide bullying.

Moderator(s), if you find either of my 2 posts objectionable, delete them & close my account, M'kay?

Ya'll have a fine week.
 
Part 73, Chapter 1072
Chapter One Thousand Seventy-Two


27th June 1954

Wunsdorf-Zossen

As the match concluded Hans was sitting on the couch with Manfred watching the post-match commentary. The match between Brazil and Hungary had been a brawl thinly disguised as a Football game.

“Before your mother asks, and she will” Hans said, “Let’s just agree that you will tell her that this was an example how you not be conducting yourself on the pitch and that will be the truth.”

Manfred nodded vigorously in the way he always did when he thought that Hans was asking him to put one over on Helene. The thing was that Hans was being serious, he had seen a few club matches that had played out like that but never had seen one like that happen in an International game. This was just one game so far in the World Cup Quarter Finals that was happening in Switzerland. Hans would have liked to have gone but with the 4th Division on heightened alert due to recent events in the Balkans that seemed like a bad idea. Word had come all the way down from Headquarters that anyone who dared to ask for leave had better be prepared to get every shitty assignment for the next several months.

Then a thought occurred to Hans, Uncle Klaus would have been watching the same game he had. With his mild demeanor few would have understood that Klaus was a fan of the sort of sport that they had just witnessed. He wouldn’t have cared who was playing just that they had given everything to the game, including leaving blood on the field.


Potsdam

When Sasha had been called to the palace she had told Anya to go find something to do while she met with the Empress. Normally that would have been to see what Kiki was doing but as she found out, the Princess was out of the palace to go clothes shopping. It was something that Anya was glad she had arrived too late to partake in. There had been few times when Sasha had insisted that Anya needed to look presentable and she had not seen anything wrong with her appearance. Her clothes were serviceable, far nicer than anything that she had before, but Sasha had said that there were times when she needed to dress in a way that didn’t suggest that she was there to paint the house or install a light fixture. What did that even mean?

Waiting for Sasha inside was out of the question. Whenever she was in the palace by herself there were attendants watching her every move. Instead she went out into the expansive grounds of the estate. It was quiet, just the distant sound of traffic and the horn of a train in the distance. Walking among the trees Anya saw Friedrich with his monstrous dog coming from the opposite direction and it was too late to run and hide where they wouldn’t see her. It wasn’t that she disliked dogs. It was that Aki was huge, bigger than she was, clumsy and way too friendly. At least too friendly to her at any rate, supposedly the big dog was standoffish with people he didn’t consider his.

As Freddy and Aki saw her, Aki came bounding up to Anya.

“No jumping!” Friedrich yelled as Aki rather ineffectively as Anya found her herself bowled over by forty or more kilos of dog. Seconds later she was looking up at the clouds after having the air blasted from her lungs. Aki was joyfully licking her face. She was also aware of water from the grass soaking through her dress.

“I’m sorry” Friedrich said as he caught up with Aki and grabbed him by the collar pulling him away, “We’ve been trying to get him to stop doing that, but it has been slow going.”

“Your dog is an abomination” Anya said as she got her wind back and Friedrich helped her to her feet, “It should not be allowed to run free.”

Then she saw the look of incomprehension cross Friedrich’s face and realized that he couldn’t understand her. In her fear and anger from having that stupid dog knock her down she had switched to her default language, one he clearly didn’t understand.

“Excuse me?” Friedrich said, “If you could repeat that.”

“Your dog…” Anya started to say in German but now discovered that she just didn’t have the fire behind it if she had to repeat it. “It wasn’t nice, he’s too big for that.”

“Oh” Friedrich replied, “I said I was sorry and that we are trying to get him under control.”

Anya looked at herself and realized that the entire back of her dress was covered by a big muddy grass stain, Sasha was going to be cross with her for this. Anya glared angerly at Friedrich even though he towered over her.

“No wonder Gia likes you so much” Friedrich said, “The Sisters always look for formidable.”

"Why do you call Sasha that?” Anya asked ignoring much of what he had just said, “It isn’t her name.”

“It’s the name she took when was hiding from Stalin” Friedrich replied, “And it’s the one everyone outside of Russia uses.”

“The Church says her name is Alexandra though.”

“I understand that it is really Jehane Alexandra” Friedrich said. Anya had heard that French name before and knew that it had come from Sasha’s Paternal Grandmother.

Just then four figures separated from the trees and approached them. “Is Fraulein Maksimova hurt?” The man asked, it was hardly a surprise the Friedrich’s security detail would have seen everything that happened.

“No, just a bit shaken” Friedrich replied, “We will need to find some clean clothes for her though.”

“Not a problem” The man said and then three of the men faded back into the trees.
 
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