Stupid Luck and Happenstance, Thread II

[Peabody-Martini]

Chapter One Thousand Four Hundred Forty


3rd April 1961

In transit, Rural Brandenburg

Sometimes the best thing that you have to say about a month is that it had come to an end. March had been arguably to worst month that Kiki could ever recall. Driving back to Berlin after spending the morning in Kiel on a rainy afternoon, was actually something of a relief. The windshield wipers moving at a different rhythm than the music playing on the radio. Kiki was looking forward to the summertime when she could drive with the top down, though at the moment that seemed both incredibly far away and frighteningly close. Especially after what she had been doing in Kiel, trying to facilitate the purchase of the SMS Preussen on behalf of the War Museum. The reason why the Navy was reluctant to part company with the remaining Battleships was because the USS Montana and the Iowa Class Battleships were still out there and that had come up frequently in the fruitless discussions. Something about how the Preussen Class were the only ships in the world that had a “zone of immunity” against the 16-inch/50 guns that the United States Navy used. Kiki had forgotten to ask what exactly that meant. And exactly how many centimeters were in an inch?

Between giving the Museum tours, her father and stepmother, running errands for the General. as well as the full implications of what she had volunteered for sinking in she had hardly had a chance to think beyond the next five minutes. It all had to do with the paperwork that had resulted when at the suggestion of General von Lettow-Vorbeck she had accepted the offer to go into Search and Rescue Training. Kiki had inadvertently volunteered to join the Airborne in the process, something that she had not known at the time. It was off to Laupheim Airfield in Württemberg in July to learn far more than she had imagined that she would be. Everything had to be in order before she left, and three months had come to seem like very little time atop everything else.

Then Franz von Bayern decided to pay her a visit.

Kiki had met the Crown Prince of Bavaria a few times during the Berlin social season over the prior winter. He had been shy, and Kiki had tried to draw him into conversation a couple times. It had turned out that she had made a bigger impression on Franz then she had intended when he had proposed marriage out of the blue because she had been nice to him. It was an offer that she had declined as gently as she could. Later, however she had listened to his reasoning and it did make a certain kind of sense, just not for her.

Zella and Aurora seemed to think that what had happened next was the most hilarious thing that they had ever heard. Charlotte had visited Kiki in her room in the Museum Staff housing so make sure that she was alright, as if she might have gotten hurt somehow. Then there was Doctor Berg’s take on the whole thing which catapulted the entire thing into the realm of the completely absurd. While Berg had said that Kiki had handled the situation well. Berg had also said that it wasn’t a bad deal for Kiki in that she would get all the benefits of being married with considerably fewer of the drawbacks. If she had been born decades earlier that probably would have been the best deal she could possibly have hoped for. Berg said that she was just playing Devil’s Advocate, but Kiki could see that Berg had meant every word of what she said.


Dublin, Ireland

At Jack’s Law firm they were used to many of the strange things that came from having him working there. Having an angry Kat von Mischner come through the door was not for the faint of heart but it was one of those things. Jack had to remind her that even if she was an important Client, the Secretaries were not there for her to verbally abuse.

“Tell me that this is a joke?” Kat said after giving Jack a chance to review the papers that she had been served with just hours before.

“It is no joke and I would be remiss if I told you that this will not be expensive no matter how it turns out” Jack said, “Mrs. Beck is probably hoping that you will settle to make this go away.”

“And every right-wing newspaper in Germany would pounce on that as an admission of guilt on my part” Kat replied, “In this matter as well as anything else they can they can cook up.”

“I see” Jack said, “Exactly how do you want this to be handled?”

“Her son was a monster who saw nothing wrong in hurting a child to send a message to that child’s father” Kat said, “I want her to have to answer for why she thinks stating that fact is slandering his memory.”

This was the continuing hangover from the publication of Kat’s biography. Merten Beck’s mother had brought a lawsuit against Kat because while her son’s name had never appeared in the text it wouldn’t be difficult to figure it out.

“That makes it easy then” Jack said, “The truth is clearly on your side.”

“But what are we going to do when her lawyers demand financial information?” Kat asked. Clearly, she had been thinking about this.

“That will pose a bit of a problem” Jack said, “Hardly an insurmountable one.”

“I wish I had your confidence” Kat replied.

 

[ejpsan]

There is something seriously wrong with the United States Navy if they still have battleships, the only thing I can think of is that since they are less than twenty years old, Congress has not approved of them being sent to the mothball fleet.
The KLM is blowing smoke up the Reichstag’s ass in keeping the Rhineland and her sister ships around.

 

[Obfuscated]

And the USN is probably using the Rheinland and her sisters as pretext for keeping the 'good' commands around. Do not think the USN ever had the battleship mafia cleared out by having actual carrier battles in this TL.

 

[Dan]

I disagree about the USN only keeping Battleships if there's something seriously wrong with them, the USS Missouri wasn't decommissioned until 1992 OTL and that was WITH having the largest carrier fleet in the world.

However, if the USN haven't seen the writing on the wall regarding submarines, aircraft carriers and force projection, then you're right, there is something very, very wrong with them.

 

[Wet Coast]

And the USN is probably using the Rheinland and her sisters as pretext for keeping the 'good' commands around. .

Sort of like the reports on "estimated" Soviet capabilities that the military kept waving in front of Congress during the Cold War.

 

[ejpsan]

IOTL the USS Missouri was commissioned in June 1945 and decommissioned in February 1956, it didn’t last eleven years in active service and the only reason it was recommissioned in 1986 was because idiots thought that the United States needed a “Six Hundred Ship Navy” as that was the size of the USN at the time of Pearl Harbor.
In the first timeline, Congress was angry that all the money spent on weapons like the B-29, M4, and the Manhattan Project was in their mind basically wasted so I can see Congress making the Navy keep the Battleships around.

 

[Peabody-Martini]

The Military Industrial Complex, or whatever else you want to call it, has been referred to as a self licking ice cream cone.

How that works here is that the German Navy maintains three BBs and one BC in storage because the US Navy maintains four BBs in storage because...

 

[ejpsan]

One of the things I missed about the SMS Voss going thru the Panama Canal it is probably the last time that a large German Carrier Task Force is going to use the canal.
It was hinted that Germany is going to or already building aircraft carriers that can not use the canal, to be sure there will still be German ships like destroyers and cruisers using the canal but only if they are by themselves and have to catch up with the rest of the Task Force and also be same applies to supply ships and other non combatant ships.

 

[weasel_airlift]

The Iowas and the Montana will probably be kept until they hit 20, then it's off to the mothballs with them. Warships were generally designed with a 20 year life in mind, and I could see them being kept around for the whole period since a rival has some.

 

[Peabody-Martini]

Chapter One Thousand Four Hundred Forty-One


6th April 1961

Philadelphia Naval Yard, Pennsylvania

In his seat on the bridge of the USS Blue, Jimmy Carter watched as the vast bulk of the USS Montana passed by as they returned to port after spending the winter battling the elements in the North Atlantic. She was still in mothballs at its mooring on the Delaware River against the unlikely event that the SMS Prussia or her sisters ever came out to play, or at least that was the pretext. The reality was a bit more complicated. There had been talk of scrapping the old Battleship, but as long as Mike Mansfield was the Senate Majority Leader that was unlikely. The people of Montana would be furious if their Senator allowed that to happen.

The Blue was returning to port after an extended time on patrol. The Destroyer was of an older design that had swiftly become outmoded as the Navy had struggled to keep up with the staggering progression of technology. Still, that had allowed her to become a platform for several novel technologies to optimize her for Anti-Submarine Warfare and for Carter to be given command of her a few months previously. His first assignment had taken the Blue into North Atlantic and the Denmark Strait and the Norwegian Sea to track the German Ballistic Missile Subs.

Carter had spent years pursuing the German Subs, the missile boats and the attack boats that protected them. They were referred to as being the grey ghosts of the Atlantic, secretive and elusive. They put to sea in Kiel and Wilhelmshaven and headed for the North Atlantic, from there it was off to parts unknown. Sometimes they played a cat and mouse game with the British for old time’s sake, but it was obvious to Carter exactly who they considered their opponents.

Lately, Carter had seen a worrying trend, the Kaiserliche Marine was putting to sea in large numbers. Sonobuoys that had been deployed by the Blue and her helicopters had detected no less than three of the missile boats and one attack boat headed north towards the Arctic Sea. Intelligence said that surface units had been spotted passing through the Suez Canal in fairly considerable numbers. With the Carrier Group that had passed through the Panama Canal weeks earlier, this meant that the KM had shifted its focus to the Pacific. Hardly a surprise really, after what happened last year at this time. Apparently, no one in the region wanted to get caught flatfooted again by Chinese saber rattling and they were calling in favors to get their allies to send help.


Wunsdorf-Zossen

Schultz had been able to rely on his great strength his entire life having grown up on a Bavarian farm and then gone on to wrestling and the military. Unfortunately, the very source of that strength had turned out to be his undoing. Shortness of breath and tightness in his chest had been growing worse in recent months. His Doctor had said that it was the result of his heart being enlarged and that other than advising him not to exert himself had not told him anything worth hearing beyond him saying that there wasn’t a great deal that they could do. Life didn’t stop and he still had obligations.

Unfortunately, it all came to a head in the middle of the night when he collapsed in the kitchen of his own house after feeling what felt like a horse kicking him in the chest. It took a while before Helga had found him there and the medics who were there to drive him to the hospital found themselves with a problem because he didn’t fit on the trolley, so they had needed to call in additional help to carry him out.


Pusan, Korea

It was an unexpected awakening. Sure, Tilo was used to being unexpectedly woken because that came with having two small children in the house. This was different. The telegram had been a few words. Heart attack, please come home if you can, serious condition.

Nancy was still half asleep as she made her way from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand as Tilo was on the phone trying to make the appropriate arrangements, something that was difficult from halfway around the world.

“If he dies it will make Kat happy” Nancy muttered.

“That is a horrible thing to say” Tilo replied and Nancy just shrugged.

At that moment, Tilo was both appalled that his wife would make such a comment, while having to concede that she did have a point. He had no idea what had caused the anger that Nancy’s friend had for his father but whatever it had been it had caused a major falling out. Tilo knew that it was wrapped up in the reasons why his parents had wanted Nancy kept at arm’s length. His father’s career. It remained shrouded in secrecy, though Tilo had been able to glean a great deal. Mostly that his father had led one of the Abwehr Hunter/Killer teams in the 1920s and 30s. Katherine Mischner had been one of his recruits and they had some sort of falling out. Kat’s actions in the following years were well documented, which made it clear that she was no longer involved with Abwehr. It didn’t take a genius to figure that he must have done something that Katherine regarded as unforgivable.

 

[ejpsan]

There had been talk of scrapping the old Battleship, but as long as Mike Mansfield was the Senate Majority Leader that was unlikely. The people of Montana would be furious if their Senator allowed that to happen.

And this is why we will soon have this timeline version of the Washington Naval Treaty not so much to promote World Peace but a a reason to cut down on the costs of maintaining armed forces.
There could be some kind of formula that takes the tonnage of a ship and the armaments that it has that will allow countries to finally take the torch to their battleships but leave aircraft carriers alone.
Also some kind of limitations on ballistic missile submarines that will allow countries to have enough for deterrence but not enough for annihilation.
With the passing of Johan Schultz we will see the literal funeral of which people will go to in order to make sure he is really dead, I also think that Kat will go in a deep depression because her hatred of him gave her some focus of her energy to keep going and now that is gone.

 

[Peabody-Martini]

Chapter One Thousand Four Hundred Forty-Two


8th April 1961

Mitte, Berlin

“Do you know who I am?” The red-faced tourist bellowed, and Kiki wished that he would just stop. Dealing with people who were angry over things that she couldn’t do anything about tended to leave her stammering and unable to find the right words. It wasn’t helped by the tourist in question being a doughy middle-aged man who had the look of a former athlete gone badly to seed. Judging from his words he thought he was a big deal wherever he had come from.

“I… I think you are asking the wrong question” Kiki replied, and the tourist didn’t seem to understand what she meant by that. He just looked at her with a blank expression on his face.

This had been her lot over the past week as the Easter Holiday had progressed. Even with no University classes to consume her mornings, she was expected to lead groups in the Museum that was busier than ever. As someone who spoke several languages the more troublesome groups tended to become her problem, like today when Kiki was leading a mixed group that included several Americans through the exhibits of the First World War and one of them took exception to how the U.S. Army conducted itself in France as was mentioned in passing by the Museum. German Prisoners of War being held by the Americans had noticed that they had been treated better than soldiers in the U.S. Army who happened to be of African descent.

“No point in taking it out on the girl Frank” Midge who had introduced herself without being asked to at the start of the tour said as Kiki led them to the next hall, “She’s doing her best and I doubt she had anything to do with this.”

“I would think that a museum with an international reputation would have a better class of tour guides” Frank said. It was probably just as well that he would never know the irony of what he had just said.

The exhibits for the Soviet War were safe enough. The next ones though, South Africa and Mexico threatened to set off Frank again. Much of the captured material, mostly weapons and equipment, was very obviously American in origin. Kiki kept them moving until they were in the courtyard where they could either go on to the large warehouse that held the collection of vehicles or see the submarine that was moored on the river. Fortunately, the tourists would be someone else’s problem. Kiki would go back to the Medic’s Hall to try to calm herself so that she could lead the next group of tourists without having a panic attack.

“Thank you for guiding us through the museum” Midge said, and Frank grumbled something that Kiki got the impression he had been pressured to say by his wife.

“You're welcome” Kiki replied quickly. The last thing she wanted to engage in the pointless small talk that the Americans seemed to be unable to live without, so she turned on her heel and walked away.

“That was a bit rude” She heard Midge tell Frank before she turned the corner.


Tempelhof, Berlin

“Who is Jean Pouliot?” Kat asked as she felt was not the start of a headache coming on as she listened to Jack read off the names of people who were willing to testify against Kat in open Court. The lawyers working on behalf of Berta Beck had really dug into Kat’s past and there seemed to be no shortage of them.

“Someone who you obviously don’t remember by name” Jack replied, “But he claims that around Christmas time in 1945 you attacked him without provocation in Montreal.”

“That was more than a decade and a half ago” Kat said as she tried to recall the events in question, “He was that drunken twit who wouldn’t take no for an answer even after several warnings.”

“I see” Jack said, it was clear that none of this surprised him.

“That jackass Finley isn’t going to show up?” Kat asked, “Is he?”

“Paul Finley isn’t one of the people who they want to call” Jack replied, “The fact that it can be demonstrated that he was in the commission of a crime hurts the case being made by the Plaintiff.”

“I would argue that could apply to most of the people on this list” Kat said.

“Yes” Jack replied, “But can it be demonstrated to the panel of Judges who may or may not be inclined to see it that way when your reputation for violence is factored in?”

Kat was not happy to hear that. She had spent her life handling herself as best she could in extraordinary circumstances. This was spinning all of that to make her out to be some sort of lunatic. It was starting to irk her that Jack didn’t seem to be too worried about how this was progressing.

“Did you really threaten to cut Ernst Staller’s nuts off?” Jack asked, “I could have warned you that making that threat was eventually going to come back to haunt you.”

“I thought he was still in prison after his involvement with the Frick-Rosenberg Coup attempt” Kat replied.

“The State couldn’t hold onto him forever” Jack said, “And apparently he blames you for the fact that the only job he has been able to land since they let him out is as a washroom attendant, so he was more than happy to speak with Frau Beck’s lawyers.”

Kat just stared at the papers on her desk. This whole situation seemed to be growing worse by the hour.

“If you have a plan, it had better be a good one” Kat said to Jack who just shrugged.

 

[FickleCrossroad]

I hope Kiki tells her boss, or better yet, Kat, about Frank and Midge. Kat needs to blow off some steam, and as she is currently under a spotlight for her past, might just enjoy the mental exercise of finding the best way to severely inconvenience Frank.

 

[ejpsan]

No matter what timeline you are in there will always be rude American tourists.
What would have been great is if someone came up to Kiki and addressed her as “Her Imperial Highness Princess Kristina”.

If those are the best witnesses that the Plaintiffs can bring against Kat then all Jack has to do in his opening statement is say “Twenty years ago a young girl with no thought to her own safety and life, single handily and armed only with a knife, took on six Soviet killers and saved the life of the Kaiserine and her children, Defense rests”.

 

[FickleCrossroad]

No matter what timeline you are in there will always be rude American tourists.
What would have been great is if someone came up to Kiki and addressed her as “Her Imperial Highness Princess Kristina”.

If those are the best witnesses that the Plaintiffs can bring against Kat then all Jack has to do in his opening statement is say “Twenty years ago a young girl with no thought to her own safety and life, single handily and armed only with a knife, took on six Soviet killers and saved the life of the Kaiserine and her children, Defense rests”.

Oh hell yes to both of these.

Is there a TV Tropes page to this? While I love this story, that it is so prolificly updated means I have zero idea where to go to reread favorite chapters. Young-WW2 Kat chapters I would reread right away if I knew the chapter numbers.

 

[FBKampfer]

Just have the Americans kill Frau Beck in exchange for the Sisterhood never setting foot on the North American continent.

Everybody wins with that deal.

 

[Dan]

I just thought of something, (it doesn't happen very often).
Is this all from the biography written by Gloria Steinman? If so, if Jack calls her then she can detail the fact checking that she did while writing the biography.
This should establish two things:

1) Kat is not the source of the "libel".
2) it's accurate, and does not sully the reputation of the deceased, but in fact portrays his reputation accurately.

Of course, then in the counter litigation for slandering Kat's reputation, Frau Beck would have to reveal who her backers were as they would be equally liable for the expenses I think?

That's the problem with catching a Tiger(ess) by the tail, that's not the end with the teeth.

 

[Dain]

Chapter One Thousand Four Hundred Forty-Two
[...]
Kat just stared at the papers on her desk. This whole situation seemed to be growing worse by the hour.

“If you have a plan, it had better be a good one” Kat said to Jack who just shrugged.

That situation does not seem like something you would handle as a private person, not in her career. That's kind of the thing where you would have to involve the legal office of a certain Louis Ferdinand.

 

[Narianna]

That situation does not seem like something you would handle as a private person, not in her career. That's kind of the thing where you would have to involve the legal office of a certain Louis Ferdinand.

Yeah given the shenanigans that Kat had been involved in for over two decades it is very surprising that a witch hunt disguised as a law suit which is what it is has not come to the attention of the German Govt. at the highest levels. After all if they allow unhindered digging in Kat's past many things may come out which no sane person in the government want to see in the daylight for the next 50 years at the very least.

 

[ShortsBelfast]

That situation does not seem like something you would handle as a private person, not in her career. That's kind of the thing where you would have to involve the legal office of a certain Louis Ferdinand.

If you are in a situation where you are being sued for the way in which you carried out your duties as an agent or servant of the government or a big corporation, you need a personal lawyer as well as your employer's legal representation. The government lawyer or company lawyer is there to safeguard the interests of his employer. If the employer's best interest in terms of liability and avoiding reputational damage involves throwing you to the wolves, guess what their lawyer is going to do. Your lawyer OTOH is employed by you to look after your interests.