I have literally never understood the unironic Entente love myself.
I love it.Olympic Sweepstakes Schnitzer
This was inspired by an old episode of the Simpsons I re-watched recently....
Berlin, Germany 1984
Oskar Burkhart walked into the studio, where a set of one of his restaurants had been built. He hated making commercials. The studio lights, the makeup, it was unbearable for him. But, as the CEO of one of Germany’s largest fast food chain, it was expected for him to partake in this from time to time, especially now. It was a big year for the Kaiserriech, after all.
Hamburg had been chosen to host the Summer Olympics, and they were determined to make it perfect. They had not hosted the games since Berlin in 1924, even with the global order they had established. Every company was unveiling their special products, hotels had been booked over a year in advance. It seemed like every house now had a flag on display, something he had not seen since the Second Weltkrieg. Even the commercial zeppelins that travelled across the world proudly displayed the Imperial flag as they floated serenely across the land.
The director made his final checks with the cameramen, then looked to the CEO. “Alright, Herr Burkhart, please stand on your mark.”
He sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
A stagehand sat down near the camera and held up the cue cards. The director announced “Rolling...in five, four, three, two...”
Robert forced a smile and began to recite his lines. “Hello, Germany! We are only two months from the Olympic Games, and we at Himmlers Köstliches Huhn wish to celebrate with you! That is why, we are introducing our ‘Germany Wins!’ scratch cards! Get one with each meal purchase, and if our athletes win a gold medal, you get a free Chicken Schnitzel burger!” He gave his trademark “thumbs up” and smile. "Go, Germany!"
“And cut!” shouted the director.
Immediately, the facade dropped. As much as he hated doing these commercials, Oskar knew they were vital. After all, HKH didn't become one of the world's largest fast food companies in the world by sheer luck. It was through hard work, perseverance and these annoying commercials that allowed the company to become one of the leading restaurant chains in the Reichspakt (with new restaurants popping up in the Entente, the Co-Prosperity Sphere and the Ottoman Empire; as well as neutral nations such as Ireland, Ethiopia and the Pacific States). The company certainly went through a rough patch after the founder Heinrich Himmler unexpectedly committed suicide in May 23, 1945. Although Oskar did often wonder if that was for the best, considering the unsettling rumors of Himmler's controversial political beliefs.
He walked off as Jacob, one of his assistants, approached. “Excellent work, sir! We’ll be able to have that on every network by the end of the week!”
“Get to the point, Jacob. How much is this going to cost us? The shareholders aren't going to like that we're giving away free food.”
“Not to worry, sir. We’ve already rigged the cards. They're all in events that Syndicalists never loose. Especially the Americans.”
Oskar smiled. "Excellent, Jacob. Excellent. Everyone will be too drunk to realize it. And even if they did, they'll never be able to prove it."
At that moment, his secretary Sofie Becker rushed in. “Sir, there’s just been a report from headquarters that I really think you need to see.”
“My flight to Dar es-Salaam leaves in an hour, Miss Becker. Please give me the short summary."
“The Internationale are boycotting the Olympics. Germany is unopposed in most of the events.”
Hearing this, Oskar paled. “Jacob...how does this affect our giveaway?”
Jacob took out a calculator and put in some numbers. “The company stands to lose 44 million 'marks.”