I don't really understand anyone who isn't a gardener wanting a house.
In many Canadian cities crime rates are similar or higher in the suburbs vs. downtown. As for renting, condos are a pretty major set up where you pay a mortgage and own something at the end.
Really the reason suburbs are better for families is because there's been a lack of families in the downtowns. Back in the day it made sense to move away from pollution, but nowadays the density of parks, museums, etc. means that urban areas should be inviting for families.
I Have 3 kids and have both rented a house in the city and owned a house in the burbs. There are a few key considerations you are not thinking about.
1) Owning a standalone unit really makes sense if you have kids. Disruptive neighbors waking little kids at all hours is a nightmare. And they dont like hearing your kids cry either.
More importantly though is control over one's environment. My last landlord didnt want to pay for new appliances even though the existing ones were constantly breaking down. Every minor inconvenience becomes a major hassle when you have kids. We end up doing a load or two of laundry every day. Going to the cleaners because of a cheap landlord really, really sucks.
2) Kids need outdoor space and free play. I dont always have the time or energy to take them to the park. On Tuesday at 5:30pm, they can play in the backyard while I am making dinner.
3) Communities are built around the dominant constituent. We live in a family focused community. The YMCA's are family focused - pools designed for kids and kids activities, local entertainment activities are family focused, there's a lot of parking, the grocery stores carry the right assortment, retail is focused on families.
Cities are usually the opposite. Try crossing a busy street with 3 kids under the age of 7 because you couldnt find closer parking. The kids clothing stores are small and bad assortments. The diaper aisles at grocery stores never seem to have the right size.
4) Parks. City parks suck. I lived in west LA, a nice part of the city. But I was still always finding condoms, beer bottles and other crap at the park. Yeah, its a lot of fun pulling glass from a broken beer bottle out of your kid's foot and wondering what sort bacteria or disease he is now exposed to. Rarely get that at suburban parks.
I have a commute from hell but its better for my kids to be in the burbs. With some exceptions, cities just generally suck for kids.