Somehow Running Third-A Presdient Thompson AH

THIRD PLACE SLOT FIRMLY IN HAND FOR FRED THOMPSON-

(AP) In the latest polling for Florida, Fred Thompson has earned enough votes for him to remain in third place, pushing out Ron Paul in the nomination process. In the last six primaries, Fred Thompson has been able to maintain a consistent third place position, always remaining in a position to challenge Mike Huckabee in the nomination process. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has remained in first place ever since the start of the primary season...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"What is Fred waiting for? The doink-doink sound at the end of the scene for an episode of Law and Order?" (Laughter)

-The Jay Leno Show, March 22, 2008

We kept hoping that Fred (Thompson) would eventually just drop out of the race. Seriously, third place, eight times in a row? What was he waiting for? Ambassador to England or something if McCain won?

-Anonymous McCain staffer, 2008

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have a short statement to read and I will not answer questions at this time. My doctors have informed me that I have pancreatic cancer. Fortunately, it has remained there and they expect treatment to both be easy and straightforward. However, due to the stresses of treatment and the need of me to dedicate my energies to my health means that I am no longer a candidate for the nomination of President for the Republican party. I have already spoken to the delegates that are pledged to me by conference call and I have released them to vote by their own conscience. Thank you, and God bless."

-Resignation of John McCain announcement, May 11, 2008

HUCKABEE/THOMPSON TICKET FLOATED

(AP) Republican insiders have been considering with the run-up to the Republican National Convention a Huckabee/Thompson ticket after Senator McCain resigned due to health reasons. Debates on the number of votes released by McCain, including a number that have not declared and will not until the Republican National Convention means that an effort to "lock up" the ticket has been worked on.

Other rumors include a ticket based on Fred Thompson and Governor Sarah Pailin (R-AK), a relative unknown in national politics...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"GOD DAMN AMERICA" SCANDAL GROWS FOR SENATOR OBAMA

(AP) More video tapes, showing up on You Tube, have appeared as the scandal of Obama's former Pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, have surfaced. One of these tapes show Barack Obama shaking hands with Reverend Wright and commenting on how much he approved of the sermon...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"You know, he (Obama) only shook hands with Wright with his left hand! I mean, he could bless the country with his right!"

-"The Daily Show", May 19, 2008 on the Reverend Wright Scandal

OBAMA/CLINTON TICKET PROPOSED

(AP) Serious proposals have been floated by Democratic insiders that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton can combine on a single ticket, with Clinton as the VP. A source has said that Clinton is "enthusiastic" about this proposal...

-2008 Presidential Election Report
 
"Rob-

"Good news! The Beeb is going to authorize us a budget for the show! They want us to do enough puppets to handle both politics here and in the USA-especially with the Presidential election coming up. Really liked the idea of pulling out the Regan puppet and fitting it so that the whole Fred Thompson face looks like a really bad mask. Have to see if we can make it work...

"Big writer's meeting tomorrow, we'll need to work out a few more details..."


-Excerpt from a planning memo for Splitting Image revival show, May 2008

THOMPSON "WANTS TO ATTRACT INVESTORS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE"

(AP) The Fred Thompson for President Campaign has released it's economic plans for post-election. These plans include a complete reform and overhaul of the Federal tax system, with the possibility of a national VAT and/or a flat tax rate proposal, reforms in tax law to encourage investors in American industries, and significant tax breaks in major companies investing in new capital hardware.

Other proposals include major overhauls in Federal support for housing loans...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"I wonder, could we get him on the show?"

-Comment from Jeremy Clarkson to James May, in James May's "Days Of Gears and Pillocks-My Time In Top Gear"(2016)

Jeremy Clarkson (JC): Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very special guest on our show today. You might have noticed the fact that your cell phones don't work, the catering is much better, and there are a lot more men with very big guns around the studio. (Laughter) Not only did he star in The Hunt for Red October, Days of Thunder, and the police show Law and Order as District Attorney Arthur Branch, he also was a United States senator, and is currently running as a candidate for his party's nomination as King of the World, er...President of the United States (laughter). Please welcome to our stage and Top Gear, Fred Thompson!

Applause, and Fred Thompson comes onto stage, shakes Clarkson's hand and sits down. Clarkson sits down as well.

JC: Honestly, with the election coming up and, what, the Republican National Convention...

Fred Thompson (FT): Yep

JC: ...coming up, I didn't think you'd be over here.

FT: Well, I promised to give a key-note speech for the Conservative Party's big shindig a few days from now, see Dame Thatcher-had to after she visited me, and I was going to do some other stuff around town when you guys called, and I said "Hey, I get to be on
Top Gear. I love the show, and how many chances do you get to be on such an awesome show?

JC: You probably had a few invites you had to turn down.

FT: Only one-the BNP asked me to speak at a meeting, and I had to say, "Hey guys, I'd love to come, but I don't think I can find a big red nose, clown shoes and a giant soda bottle on such short notice."

(Laughter from the crowd)

JC: So, what are you driving these days? You did a lot of work in New York, not very car friendly.

FT: Well, I'm driving around mostly-when the Secret Service lets me, a BMW 740i, it's been a good, fun car. Actually...I've got this little project that I'm going to be really proud of working on if I don't win the election.

JC(curious): Oh?

FT: I found at a used luxury car show in Chicago, of all places. If you can put it up on the screen
(TV shows a badly beat up red Ferrari 308 GTS), I found this there, and I had to wonder...was it? I checked the serial number, and Lo and behold it was...(another image shows a publicity image of Tom Sellick in Magnum PI, standing in front of the iconic Ferrari)...the first Ferrari from Magnum, PI. The one that William F. Buckley Jr sold off and was shipped to Hawaii for the show.

JC(amazed): Wow! How was it?

FT(depressed): Needing a lot of work. Engine was good, mostly. Rest of it needed quite a bit of work, but my wife was very supportive and I'm working on it sort of as a way of burning off stress. If I lose the election, I'll be back at it, probably take me a few months.

JC: And, I suspect the Secret Service is scared of you driving it.

FT: Hell, they all want to get a ride in it with me. One of the guys, spot-on for Tom Sellick right down to the mustache, says he has the hat and the shirt and such and wants to do some photos with it. If it wouldn't break all sorts of ethics laws, I'm tempted to give it to him for Christmas...

(Crowd laughs)

JC: So, since you drive stick, how was your ride as a Star in a Reasonably Priced Car?

FT: Harder than I expected. I mean, it's all backwards to me, and I've got to work through bad habits in a car that's the wrong way around. The Stig was great to work with...


-Top Gear, Season 11, Episode 1

"Look, I promised you guys that I'd stay loyal and such if you got me to be President. What the fuck are you doing throwing your weight behind that nigger?"

-Comment supposedly said by Hillary Clinton to several senior members of the DNC. Comments were posted on Free Republic.org

DNC DENIES RUMORS OF A "SHOTGUN WEDDING"

(AP)-After rumors have started to be floated on a number of Republican websites, the DNC denies that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are not on speaking terms and do not like the idea of running on the same ticket. A press release today says that they have "nothing but the greatest level of respect for each other and view their election as President and Vice President as a 'fresh breath of air' in the American political process."...

-2008 Presidential Election Report
 
"We're looking at a disaster, if we can't get her to shut the fuck up."
-Unknown DNC staffer. Posted on FreeRepublic.org

THOMPSON/PALIN TICKET MAINTAINS LEAD IN POLLS

(AP) Polling data from over 1200 Republicans in six states indicates that a theoretical Thompson/Palin ticket beats out all other possible votes, including a Huckabee/Thompson and a Thompson/Huckabee ticket. This seems to be due to the advocacy of Sarah Palin, whom has become a public figure from her comments on various programs...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"Folks, what do they have to offer, seriously? Hope and change sounds like something you bring to a picnic, not run a nation on!"
-Comments made by Sarah Palin on the Tonight Show.

"As we kept getting closer to the election, we couldn't staunch the source of those rumors. Not to say they weren't true, but it was still bad...the only way we could get Obama and (Hillary) Clinton in the same room was to more-or-less drag them together. Obama kept thinking-and saying-that his nomination was "in the bag" from his Chicago friends, while Hillary kept bitching non-stop that she'd been promised the full DNC support for her run.

"Meanwhile, we were looking at a damn perfect election cycle for the party-the economy was going bad, we were easily expecting winning a majority in Congress, most of the people were coming to believe that Bush and his unilateral actions were wrong...if we could just get the whole Presidential ticket under control!"

-DNC Chairman Howard Dean in an interview in Vanity Fair, May 2009.

OBAMA/CLINTON TICKET NOMINATED

(AP) At the Democratic National Convention today, Barack Obama gained the nomination of his party today as the Presidential candidate for the Democratic Party. A major surprise, despite rumors of mutual loathing, was the request of Obama that Hillary Clinton be his VP. She came to the stage and accepted...

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"Who had the shotgun for that wedding?"
-The Daily Show

"Rob-

"Still not sure we can pull off the separate Hillary/Obama puppets. I like the idea one of the guys in the studio had of doing the puppets so they appear to be back-to-back to each other, and occasionally try to 'pull away' from each other painfully...

"Think we'll have everything ready in time for the Republican National Committee meeting?"


-From A "Splitting Image" revival memo, August 2008.
 
OK, look, I'm just going to be honest. This whole thing reads like a partisan trollfic. The writing isn't actually bad, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a genuine effort. But, seriously, this whole thing is just ASB. Way too many PODs for one thing. Fred Thompson staying in longer and McCain's cancer getting worse are workable. But Obama APPROVING of Wrights' sermon? There is nothing to suggest that would happen, and the whole thing screams of the standard "OBAMA IS AN AMERICA HATING SOCALIST!" Teabagger bullshit. And another thing, do you seriously think Hillary Clinton would ever, ever call Obama a nigger? In front of anyone? Especially "high-profile" people who could easily leak it to the press? I mean, really, a whole truckload of the ASBs couldn't make that happen. I'm really not trying to be a jerk here, but I just don't think this shows a good grasp of history. It really seems like you're taking too many right-wing talking points as fact.
 
If you believe anything on FreeRepublic.org these days...

There were a lot of rumors floating around during the '92 Presidental run that Hillary's "price" for her loyalty to Bill was various policy considerations. And, for the longest time, she had ambitions of being the first female President of the United States. I just ramped some of them up...

OK, look, I'm just going to be honest. This whole thing reads like a partisan trollfic. The writing isn't actually bad, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a genuine effort. But, seriously, this whole thing is just ASB. Way too many PODs for one thing. Fred Thompson staying in longer and McCain's cancer getting worse are workable. But Obama APPROVING of Wrights' sermon? There is nothing to suggest that would happen, and the whole thing screams of the standard "OBAMA IS AN AMERICA HATING SOCALIST!" Teabagger bullshit. And another thing, do you seriously think Hillary Clinton would ever, ever call Obama a nigger? In front of anyone? Especially "high-profile" people who could easily leak it to the press? I mean, really, a whole truckload of the ASBs couldn't make that happen. I'm really not trying to be a jerk here, but I just don't think this shows a good grasp of history. It really seems like you're taking too many right-wing talking points as fact.
 
"It was one of the most classic bugging tricks ever done-he (Marjia Kolvat) used his access at Verizon to turn one of Hillary Clinton's phones into a digital bug by essentially rebuilding one of her staffer's older phones into two hidden phones-the second phone using a 'special access' SIM card that didn't register in the system or accept incoming calls. Additional security was built in via a recording system that taped up to two hours of material, compressed it, and sent it out in less than thirty seconds via the phone's data system.

"It would be sheer bad luck that somebody at Verizon found the hack and traced it back..."

-Steven Mollet, HackerCon 2009 "Digital Surveillance Using Cellular Technology"

SECRET BUGGING OF MAJOR POLITICIANS, PUBLIC FIGURES

"The Secret Service, in conjunction with the FBI, discovered that Marjia Kolvat, a senior Verizon Cellular engineer, had converted the phone of one of Hilliary Clinton's staffers into a digital bug. When his apartment was raided, it was discovered that he had created a dozen 'double' cellular phones that were hidden in the cases of older cell phones liked by a number of actors and political figures.

"In addition to loading audio clips of the staffers conversations on FreeRepublic.org, he recorded several sexual acts with a number of prominant media figures, including a sex tape with Lady GaGa and an unknown female. Strangely enough, he continued to claim that he had no intentions of blackmail-in a press statement read by his lawyer, Kolvat said 'My goal is nothing less than the removal of the barriers of secrecy that have protected governmental officials from people knowing the truth of their political figures...'"

-New York Times report, June 9, 2008

"We're doomed."
-Senior Mike Huckabee Staffer at the RNC convention.

REPUBLICAN NOMINATE THOMPSON FOR PRESIDENT, PALIN AS VP

(AP) The Republican Party nominated Fred Thompson as their candidate for President, beating out Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul for the party's nomination. The VP nomination of Governor Sarah Paliin of Alaska is seen as an effort to appeal to the Republican base in the upcoming election...

In his acceptance speech, Thompson warned of "a pervasive mentality of those that go to Washington, that they can only see the rest of the United States as a credit cart to be drawn upon without limit or paying back except to a few favored allies. We must go to Washington with the intention of finally dealing with the ticking time bombs of spending without responsibilities, taxes that penalize people making an honest day's labor, and giving money to people that have no intention at all of paying it it back except on paper."

"Candidate Thompson would be called by Barak Obama, congratulating him on his victory..."

-2008 Presidential Election Report

"Geoffrey,

"Got a great scene set up for the Republican nomination. Have to run it by Legal, but I think we can pull it off...

-Doug"

SCENE-A curtain reveals a podium with a HUGE American flag behind it. FRED THOMPSON and SARAH PAILIN are at the podium, in the middle of a speech to cheers...

THOMPSON-...and remember, if you vote for me, you can get rid of the double plus ungood Democrats in Congress and don't forget...

PAILIN-I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE!

SCENE-Behind the stage...as Thompson and Pailin come back, all happy.

THOMPSON-I think we gave a great speech, don't you?

PAILIN-YEA, WE DID!

THOMPSON-Hey, we're back stage now, so...

[THOMPSON peels off a latex mask, to reveal that he's REGAN under the mask.]

REGAN-...you can get out of character now.

PAILIN-IT'S SO HARD...sorry...

[PAILIN pulls off her mask to reveal tht she is THATCHER]

THATCHER-It's just so much fun to yell at people and be so, well, crass...

REGAN-And, now, we can take back the White House.

THATCHER-And invade England, and have all the Liberals crucified!

REGAN-And set up a tax policy that robs everybody but our friends.

THATCHER-We can finally get rid of Hugo Chavez!

REGAN-And we can make the world perfect...

THATCHER-Oh, Ronald, I don't think we could have pulled it off.

REGAN-Neither did I. Shall we dance?

[THE TWO PUPPETS TAKE EACH OTHER HAND IN HAND AND TANGO OFF SCREEN.]

[FADE TO BLACK.]

-Spitting Image production notes, 2010

"You got to like Sarah Pailin. I mean, if she wins, we'll be able to just write all of our skit material for four years on the basis of her missteps."

-
Tina Fey in an internal SNL meeting

"I'm worried about the formatting of the first debate. We pick six questions, they pick six questions, and the moderators pick two each? We have to be careful that we don't get sucker-punched."

-DNC Chairman Howard Dean
 
When i first saw this thread title, i thought it was going to be President Hunter S. Thompson. :cool::eek:

Hey that would make a good political TL.
 
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