Sir Arthur Robinson's History of the Confederate States

Pics and maps forthcoming. :D


Introduction

Billy-Joe Keller sat in his high school classroom. This was his final year before college. He and his parents had decided on either the University of Richmond or Virginia State. He was dying to finish learning and get out in the world. But, for another year, he had to sit in the classrooms of Robert Edward Lee High School and learn under its teachers. History this year looked huge (and boring) and filled with facts he had known since 3rd Grade. For example: How many times would he have to learn about the British Invasion of New York in 1862? You could only tell that so many times! And who, by their college years, did not know enough about the Great German Wars? Who wanted to learn again about the rise of Bavaria? Not a soul. If it was a movie on the other hand... Billy-Joe loved when the teacher had had them all watch Triumph of the Bavarian Will, about how Prime Minister Rudolf Hess enlarged Bavaria's empire. James Mason, a popular British actor in Billy-Joe's father's time, played Hess and did a great job.

But, of course, movies were only once a month in history class, and usually, they were dead boring.

Billy-Joe sat on his plastic chair in front of his cheap wooden desk waiting for history class to start. He stared at the paintings on the walls. Various important figures and scenes were on display, from Washington to Lee to Patton, from Bull Run to Chihuahua to Khe Sanh. Confederate flags and St. Andrew crosses were everywhere. He took his focus off the paintings and onto the other students. Styles had not changed much since the 1960's, and Billy-Joe and all the other boys wore typical white, long-sleeved, button-up shirts, waistcoats, and dull-dyed gray denim pants. Most of them had neatly parted hair in a style almost identical to the early 1900's. The girls, though, wore their hair in a modern fashion, completely straight. They essentially wore the same shirts as the men, but sported knee-length skirts. Many of the boys had mustaches or even beards by the time they turned 18, and the girls were usually married around that age, typically to the rich sons of plantation and factory owners. The Confederacy had never changed too much.

After Billy-Joe got bored goggling the other students, he turned his attention to his pen and brainlessly took it apart and put it back together again.

At last, the teacher entered the room. A thin, tall, mustachioed fellow with fiery red hair that was so long it dangled in greasy strands over his piercing green eyes took long strides over to his desk and sat down. His dark brown suit looked like it might have been fashionable during Andrew Jackson's lifetime, and the starched, high-rising collar looked more than a wee bit uncomfortable. Billy-Joe thought the man reminded him of a red-haired Franklin Pierce. That was not a good thing. The teacher shuffled some papers around and then pulled a map of the CSA down over the chalkboard. "Ahem," he said and cleared his throat. Everyone knew it was time to wake up and stop yapping. He took a sip of tonic, likely Georgia's popular Pembertonic, from a plastic cup. He eyed the students and adjusted that painful-looking collar. "Good day, I am Colonel Samuel Herbert Lemmings IV, and I am your teacher," he said acidly. "If you'll excuse me, I'm suffering a stomach ailment and am not feeling well today. Please follow all rules and let's cooperate and learn what needs learned. " In other words: You had better do as I say or I'll throttle you all.

Perhaps a few seconds too late, the students caught his drift and unanimously wished him well. After the Pledge of Allegiance, they all sat up like boards in their chairs.

"First, I'd like to see how well you know history. Can anyone, anyone t'all, tell me about the Treaty of Vienna?" He stared long and hard. Some thought they knew, but were afraid they would get it wrong and upset "Colonel Lemons." At last, Bobby Robertson raised his hand. "Sir, that was when... Württemberg signed their treaty with Prussia, right?"

Acid Colonel Lemons nodded his head gravely as if Bobby's correct answer was news that his mother had died. "That is correct, Mr. Robertson." No one dared ask how he knew their names- in fact, they were not even sure they wanted to know. "That was in 1890, the same year that the foundation of what military organization occurred?" He stroked his handlebar mustache as he waited for an answer.

No answer.

"What? No one here knows about the exploits of the Royal British Balloon Corps? The BBC?! Not one? Oh, dear, me, that won't do t'all. The BBC was one of the most advanced military units of its time. I see it's clear you all need a good review of history just from that one question that you were unable to answer." He slammed a massive book on his table and continued: "This 300 page volume is on the BBC alone. From Manchuria to Africa, this has all the BBC's missions and campaigns listed. While it's not required reading, I'd recommend you all read it." Again, he had used code. What he meant was: You better read this massive volume on British fellows in floating bags if you want to survive. "Now, please take out your official history books and open them to Chapter One. This year's book is Sir Arthur Robinson's History of the Confederate States. Robinson was a British historian who concerned himself with chronicling the epic of our nation. He does tend to lean toward world history, though, so you'll read all about Germany, Scandinavia, France, Russia, China, and many others. To truly understand the growth and expansion of our nation since the Second War for Independence and our amazing relationship with Britain and France, you need to read this book."

Sighing, Billy-Joe and the others started reading.

Colonel Lemmings raised his index finger, "And there will be no 'emphatic' sighing or yawning in my classroom!"

Chapter One: The Trent Affair and the December 1st Declaration


November 8th, 1861 was one of the most important dates in history. The Confederates had long wanted British and/or French recognition, so, they dispatched James Mason and John Slidell to Britain. After sailing on the Theodora to Nassau, Bahamas, they intended to sail on a British ship to St. Thomas, in the Danish West Indies, and from there to Britain, but missed their boat. Finally, after island-hopping, they wound up on the RMS Trent shipping out from Havana Harbor. Meanwhile, and much to the CSA's chagrin, the USS San Jacinto, formerly stationed off the coast of Africa, was also in St. Thomas. Upon learning of the situation, Captain Charles Wilkes drew up plans with his second in command Lieutenant Donald McNeill Fairfax for the seizure of the Confederate "contraband" currently sailing on the Trent. At noon on November 8th, the San Jacinto used armed force to stop the Trent. Captain Wilkes issued his orders.

On boarding her you will demand the papers of the steamer, her clearance from Havana, with the list of passengers and crew.

Should Mr. Mason, Mr. Slidell, Mr. Eustice and Mr. McFarland be on board make them prisoners and send them on board this ship and take possession of her (the Trent) as a prize. … They must be brought on board.

All trunks, cases, packages and bags belonging to them you will take possession of and send on board this ship; any dispatches found on the persons of the prisoners, or in possession of those on board the steamer, will be taken possession of, examined, and retained if necessary.


As any diplomacy-wise person can tell, this was highly inflammatory and insulting to Britain. The whole Affair might have been solved, however, if it was not for one unknown soul on board one of the ships. His name and allegiance are unknown to history, but his was one of the most important actions in history.

When the Union sailors boarded the Trent, they ransacked the rooms and looted all they could find. They behaved more like privateers, and were extremely rough in their handling of the passengers. At last, someone, somehow, somewhere, fired a shot. It whizzed past the heads of both British, Confederates, and Americans. Within seconds, a full scale naval battle was on. Everyone knew hat the result would be, since the Trent was nothing more than a mail boat. The Americans were immediately fired upon by British sailors, and the Americans shot back. In the shootout, Mr. Slidell was killed, along with five British and eight Americans. The crew of the Trent grabbed anything they could find and fought the Americans with all they could. After losing five more sailors, the Americans went all out and shot all the sailors who resisted. Mr. Mason, his fellow Confederates, and the remaining English passengers, were placed in the brig and the Trent was tied to the San Jacinto and towed to Boston.

The Trent Affair became the Trent Crisis, and Lincoln was faced with the grave reality of a possible British intervention in the War. Really, "possible" was now almost "certain" thanks to the actions of Captain Wilkes and "his hooligans," as President Lincoln put it.

When the two ships arrived at Boston on November 16th, the word spread like wildfire. Headlines told of the mustering of the British troops in Canada and of Louis Napoleon telling the Confederate States how he "eagerly looked forward to bringing the Southron War for Independence to a happy conclusion." Other nations called the Union a "nation of pirates and robbers." Brazil swore retaliation if American ships did so much as enter their waters. Spain broke off diplomatic relations with the US, as did Sweden and Holland. Even formerly formerly neutral nations hated the US's total lack of diplomacy and "murdering" of the Trent's crew. Surely, whoever fired the first shot was no doubt a Yankee. Of course, in the North, the Yankees assumed the opposite. No one knew, but British retaliation was certain by December 1st, when Queen Victoria vowed to bring Britain's might to bear on the United States.

The December 1st Declaration was no great shock, as the world knew Victoria did not play games. However, the trauma this new war would bring terrified many. English soldiers were constantly being shipped to Canada. The US Navy could likely intercept them, but due to its small size, would in effect lift all blockades on the South, leaving the CSA free to steam up the Mississippi River, conduct trade with Europe and South America, and attack the Union's ports. General Grant sent a telegram to Lincoln on December 2nd, which said: "Mister President, we are in a [pickle]."

Louis Napoleon's Second French Empire carried on with it's scheduled invasion of Mexico on December 8th. The invasion was planned long before the Trent attack. Soon, at the start of 1862, French troops and the Spanish navy had blockaded and invaded Veracruz, Mexico. France then used British and French support to swiftly descend upon various Mexican regions until, finally, they captured Mexico City in July.

Now let's switch our focus back to the Union. Following the December Declaration and the French Invasion of Mexico, where the US supported the Mexicans, the Grand Army of the Republic had to go on the defensive against the Rebels. In early February, a starving, blockaded US was finally invaded.

Chapter Two: The Invasion of 1862 and the Treaty of Geneva


Crossing into Maryland, General Lee soon liberated the South-leaning population and drove out the Northerners. Other Southern armies crossed into Kentucky and Missouri, where the Union soldiers, stretched too thinly, had to retreat and let the two states join the Confederacy. A small French force was coming up the Mississippi as a token force; the French navy was a far more effective weapon against the US, as they proved when, along with keeping their supply lines to France clear, they raided Union trade ships and deterred many merchants from even attempting to carry on with their business. New England entered a new "Starving Time," and, like the Pilgrims, many were dying and out of work. An economic depression had hit. Facing mutiny on the Western Theatre of War, Lincoln recalled all troops stationed farther away than central Illinois. Thus, the actual extent of Confederate control now included Southern Illinois, where the advancing Rebel army induced the flight of most Union supporters and the coming out of many pro-Confederates.

Soon after, Britain invaded from Canada, attacking New York. The damage was catastrophic, and the Redcoats were making steady progress, despite heroic resistance. The end was swift approaching.

Finally, Lincoln realized he had to act quickly to prevent the total destruction of the country. He authorized diplomats to meet with representatives of the CSA, Britain, and France in Geneva, Switzerland to sign a treaty. On September 5th, 1862, the American Civil War was brought to an end.

The Allies dominated the terms, and made Lincoln look even worse, even though he was not to blame and it was actually his diplomats' poor performance.

The terms were these:

The United States was to grant full recognition of the Confederate States and was to cease all hostilities.

The United States was to pay 250,000 dollars to Holland and Brazil in reparations for raided commerce.

The United States was to pay 10,000,000 in reparations to France and 20,000,000 in reparations to Britain.

The Grand Army of the Republic was not to number over 200,000.

The United States Navy was to contain no more than 10,000 men, no more than twenty ironclads, and no more than 40 other ships.

The Confederate States was granted control over Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arizona, New Mexico, and Polypotamia(Southern Illinois), and Equitasia(Southern Kansas). The last two names were never-used state names invented by Thomas Jefferson when he divided up the Northwest Territory.

Britain was to have unchallenged dominance in Canada.

France was to have unchallenged dominance in Mexico.

The Confederacy, Britain, France, Spain, and Holland were to come to each other's aid if attacked by another power. Wars of aggression were not compulsory.

And the list went on, with other, smaller agreements.

As you can imagine, this did not sit well with the Union, where the government was in danger of being completely overthrown. Some suspected General Sherman of planning a coup, while others predicted a total and complete collapse of the country.

Chapter Three: The Second Bear Flag Republic

The situation by 1864 had spiraled completely out of control. Lincoln instituted marshal law across the US. As he clung to power, a new threat appeared: California. Torn during the Civil War, California was a mixture of the Union and the Confederacy. After the Treaty of Geneva, California told the Union to get its affairs in order or it would pull out, and likely request other states to do the same. It would not only be a great economic move, but it would help them get around the army size limit. California could field a massive army if they wished, and if they allied with the states around it, it could be a true force to be feared.

The US could do nothing. California's deadline arrived, and the nation's situation had actually grown worse. On July 4th, 1864, California withdrewfrom the Union and formed the Second Bear Flag Republic. A massive surge of nationalism hit the new country, and thousands of citizens flocked to assist the new government. Within a year, it was a prosperous country.

To be continued...
 
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