From the French Kings' perspective:
1) Guys, you're not going to believe this. So this Pope, he comes smack dab in the middle of my kingdom and begin to preach and preach and preach. First he gets the peasants to up and leave and a year or two after that, most of my nobles go after them on this so-called crusade and then I get a message that they actually made it all the way and celebrated by killing everybody inside the city. I swear, half of the earldoms and duchies in France don't have a leader anymore and I have a good mind to snatch a few, since they buggered off and found new places to rule. Serve the quitters right.
2) Guys, you're not going to believe this. So, I burn this church down (don't we all?) and then I swear to go on crusade because this abbot has been on my case. I mean who hasn't burnt a church down right in the middle of a good sack, amirite or amirite, fellas? We go down there and the Turks are really not understansting fellas and it all turns out that this was my wife's plan to shag – get this! her own uncle.
3) Guys, you're not going to believe this. So I swear I'm going on crusade, third time's the charm, yada, yada, yada. I go there and this prick Richard has decided he is going to show off by conquering Cyprus. So I get sick and lose all my hair and my nails and that's it for me, folks, especially since the other guy has gone and drowned himself (gee, if he didn't want to come, he just had to say so, talk about a drama king). I'm gonna get me some of that sweet Normandy cider. I bet you the prick is gonna get captured on his way back and mortgage his kingdom just to get back. And then he is gonna say some very mean thing about me and my morality, just because he doesn't understand realpolitik. Wait till I have his brother over a barrel.
4) Guys, this time, you're really not going to believe this. I mean, getting into the wrong country and sacking a city just to pay your ticket? That was supposed to be OUR thing next time. Well, we'll just skip the fifth and sixth show, because we don't want to look like we're just following a trend. Bloody Venetian showoffs. We'll show them. We'll show them all. Just wait for the seventh and the eighth, oh, the eighth, we're gonna besiege a city even further from the Holy Land and all die of an epidemic. That's dedication. That's art.