Okay, first things first: given that this is a thread on Sealion, I fully and completely accept that this strategy will fail just like all the others. But I'd like for someone to tell me why it's going to fail.
Now, for my idea:
We all know Germans really like big cannons, right? Of the kind that can easily lob a shell across some of the narrower places in the English Channel?
So what would happen if the Germans just got a bunch of their biggest artillery pieces on their side of the Channel, surrounded them by all the anti-aircraft defenses they could carry, shelled the opposite shore, and then just began crossing the Channel while the land-based artillery stood ready to blow any British ships that got near out of the water?