hello all, i'm not sure if what i'm about to right counts as alternate history (more like historical fiction) so sorry if it isn't, i'm very bad at descriptions but here it goes. The story follows King Carol and his advisers as they try to make a big splash on the international stage but no matter how hard they try nothing they do ever amounts to more than a drop in the sea. they are bumbling and incompetent with stereotypical yet unique personalities. just read the first few chapters, if you get inside, historical jokes then i'm confident you'll love it, i'm going to flesh it out more later but i want to see if it's interesting before i put all my time into it, i'm currently 5,000+ words into this so i'll post it in smaller chunks, tell me what you think, thanks.
Romania Rising
(left to right) Ferdinand (nephew), Carol I, Carol (grandnephew)
Chapter 1: A Fresh Start.
Part i) 10/04/1910. Royal Palace, Bucharest. 12:00 PM
Deep In the heart of the Romanian Royal Palace, King Carol joins a meeting with his advisors.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why i’ve assembled all of you here on such a short notice.” Carol said as he walked briskly to his seat at the head of the table.
“I’m wondering why you assembled us here.” Vali Stanescu replied, obviously unamused.
“I’ve assembled all of you here because i have good news. A thing that you have failed to grace me with since becoming my economic minister, Vali.” Carol retorted.
“I, ugh, ugh,” Vali stammered, obviously caught off guard.
“Anyways.” Carol said, unphased by Vali’s sputtering. “Long story short, pack your belongings gentlemen, we’re moving all of you to Peleș Castle!” He said excitedly.
Everyone looked at Carol in shock.The room would’ve went completely silent had it not been for the annoyingly loud tick of Tavian Petrescu’s pocket watch and the sound of Dominik Bumbescu in the adjacent room yelling at the top of his lungs.
“Get in here this moment, Dominik!”
The doors to the main hall were thrown open as Bumbescu entered the room. “Your damned aides won’t let my poor Vlad inside!”
“Who is Vlad?!” Carol said, obviously getting impatient.
“Vlad is our national animal, my pet! Those ignoramus peasants in your employ won’t let him inside!” Bumbescu said with great exasperation.
“Why in gods name would they let a lynx in the grand palace?! Better yet, why do you even have a pet lynx?!”
Silence fell once again across the room, that silence lasted only a few moments as the room erupted with laughter.
“Why are you all laughing?!” Yelled Carol.
“The lynx is not our national animal m’lord.” chuckled Serghei Donceanu. “The golden eagle is.”
“No it isn't” Mihaita Mechitbayeva piped up “our national animal is the great white pelican.”
“No!” Ciprian Nechita replied angrily “the Dacian hound is our national animal and the golden eagle is our national bird!”
“Are birds not animals too?!” Serghei replied, obviously confused.
“No they are not!” Ciprian snapped back. “That's why they are called birds, not animals!”
“Both of you, shut up.” Carol interjected. “Birds are animals, our national animal is not a bird, it is a lynx you daft asses.”
“You tell that to my poor Vlad!” Cried Bumbescu. “He is not one of those overgrown house cats, he is a great and mighty auroch”
Carol was shocked, he knew that aurochs had supposedly been extinct since the 17th century. “Where on earth did you get one of those?!”
Auroch “I was on my way here when one of the wheels on my carriage broke near Viziru. My chauffeur, Pyotr, could not fix the wheel so we went into the town to find help. After we bought a new wheel we proceeded back to my carriage to find that my beloved horses had been stolen by the peasant potato vagrants that call the countryside home.” Bumbescu continued. “Fortunately, a good samaritan came by with Vlad, he offered to give me the magnificent auroch in exchange for my carriage, i jumped at the offer. I dismissed Pyotr and rode my majestic beast the rest of the way here.”
Carol settled into a suspicious stance. “Alright, bring in this ‘Vlad’.”
Moments later a grungy, brown steppe cow was lead into the room. “Is this Vlad?” Carol said impatiently while studying the foul farm animal in his royal palace.
“No, it's Bumbescu’s 5th wife” snickered Prince Ferdinand.
“I’d take a cow for a wife over my cousin.” Scoffed Bumbescu with a smirk. “I’m sure the cow would be more faithful.”
A few of the men in the room chuckled as Ferdinand's face blushed red with embarrassment and anger. “You insolent, fat weasel! When i am king you will be the first person of the many in this room i send back to the potato farms and coal mines!” He yelled.
“You will do no such thing Ferdinand.” Carol replied calmly. “I have written in my will that the king's advisors are life time positions and only the king who appoints them can have them replaced.” Ferdinand mumbled as Carol continued. “We have gotten way too off track, gentlemen. Get that animal out of here.” He said, pointing at the last spot he had seen Vlad.
Everyone turned to look at Vlad but all that was left of him was a pile of dung. “Where is your damn cow now?!” Carol yelled.
“I I-I don't know sir, he was standing right here just a moment ago” Bumbescu replied meekly.
“How do you ‘not know’ where your filthy animal is?!”
“I don’t know sir, i seemed to have lost him.”
“You ‘lost him’?! How does one even ‘lose’ a cow?!”
“I don’t know m’lord, he just disappeared.”
“Unless this cow is related to Joshua Slocum i wouldn’t think it capable of disappearing so easily.” Carol replied sardonically. “Now go look for it and don’t come back until it’s off palace property.”
Without a word Bumbescu slunk out the door.
“Now then” Carol said, turning his attention back to his general staff. “Any more stupidity, or can we continue this meeting?” Without waiting for a response he continued. “Good, now as i mentioned earlier, we are all moving to Peles castle, any questions?”
Tavian raised his hand.
Carol sighed. “Other than what time lunch is served.”
Tavian lowered his hand.
“Uh, yes. What about our families?” Emilian Lupei enquired.
“What about them?” Carol replied.
“What happens to them? Do they come with us?”
Carol thought for a moment. “Hmm, i guess they should come along then.” Carol sighed. “They’ll have to live in sinaia though, i don’t want any smelly peasants residing in my pristine castle.”
“I will tell my wife to pack our belongings.” Emilian said with dismay.
“Good.” Carol replied “our train leaves at 8 AM tomorrow morning, any last question before i adjourn this meeting?”
Everyone sat silently.
“Ok, back to work gentlemen, and remember, Nos nihil absque Deo!” He said with enthusiasm as he exited the room.
End of Part i
Romania Rising
(left to right) Ferdinand (nephew), Carol I, Carol (grandnephew)
Chapter 1: A Fresh Start.
Part i) 10/04/1910. Royal Palace, Bucharest. 12:00 PM
Deep In the heart of the Romanian Royal Palace, King Carol joins a meeting with his advisors.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why i’ve assembled all of you here on such a short notice.” Carol said as he walked briskly to his seat at the head of the table.
“I’m wondering why you assembled us here.” Vali Stanescu replied, obviously unamused.
“I’ve assembled all of you here because i have good news. A thing that you have failed to grace me with since becoming my economic minister, Vali.” Carol retorted.
“I, ugh, ugh,” Vali stammered, obviously caught off guard.
“Anyways.” Carol said, unphased by Vali’s sputtering. “Long story short, pack your belongings gentlemen, we’re moving all of you to Peleș Castle!” He said excitedly.
Everyone looked at Carol in shock.The room would’ve went completely silent had it not been for the annoyingly loud tick of Tavian Petrescu’s pocket watch and the sound of Dominik Bumbescu in the adjacent room yelling at the top of his lungs.
“Get in here this moment, Dominik!”
The doors to the main hall were thrown open as Bumbescu entered the room. “Your damned aides won’t let my poor Vlad inside!”
“Who is Vlad?!” Carol said, obviously getting impatient.
“Vlad is our national animal, my pet! Those ignoramus peasants in your employ won’t let him inside!” Bumbescu said with great exasperation.
“Why in gods name would they let a lynx in the grand palace?! Better yet, why do you even have a pet lynx?!”
Silence fell once again across the room, that silence lasted only a few moments as the room erupted with laughter.
“Why are you all laughing?!” Yelled Carol.
“The lynx is not our national animal m’lord.” chuckled Serghei Donceanu. “The golden eagle is.”
“No it isn't” Mihaita Mechitbayeva piped up “our national animal is the great white pelican.”
“No!” Ciprian Nechita replied angrily “the Dacian hound is our national animal and the golden eagle is our national bird!”
“Are birds not animals too?!” Serghei replied, obviously confused.
“No they are not!” Ciprian snapped back. “That's why they are called birds, not animals!”
“Both of you, shut up.” Carol interjected. “Birds are animals, our national animal is not a bird, it is a lynx you daft asses.”
“You tell that to my poor Vlad!” Cried Bumbescu. “He is not one of those overgrown house cats, he is a great and mighty auroch”
Carol was shocked, he knew that aurochs had supposedly been extinct since the 17th century. “Where on earth did you get one of those?!”
Auroch “I was on my way here when one of the wheels on my carriage broke near Viziru. My chauffeur, Pyotr, could not fix the wheel so we went into the town to find help. After we bought a new wheel we proceeded back to my carriage to find that my beloved horses had been stolen by the peasant potato vagrants that call the countryside home.” Bumbescu continued. “Fortunately, a good samaritan came by with Vlad, he offered to give me the magnificent auroch in exchange for my carriage, i jumped at the offer. I dismissed Pyotr and rode my majestic beast the rest of the way here.”
Carol settled into a suspicious stance. “Alright, bring in this ‘Vlad’.”
Moments later a grungy, brown steppe cow was lead into the room. “Is this Vlad?” Carol said impatiently while studying the foul farm animal in his royal palace.
“No, it's Bumbescu’s 5th wife” snickered Prince Ferdinand.
“I’d take a cow for a wife over my cousin.” Scoffed Bumbescu with a smirk. “I’m sure the cow would be more faithful.”
A few of the men in the room chuckled as Ferdinand's face blushed red with embarrassment and anger. “You insolent, fat weasel! When i am king you will be the first person of the many in this room i send back to the potato farms and coal mines!” He yelled.
“You will do no such thing Ferdinand.” Carol replied calmly. “I have written in my will that the king's advisors are life time positions and only the king who appoints them can have them replaced.” Ferdinand mumbled as Carol continued. “We have gotten way too off track, gentlemen. Get that animal out of here.” He said, pointing at the last spot he had seen Vlad.
Everyone turned to look at Vlad but all that was left of him was a pile of dung. “Where is your damn cow now?!” Carol yelled.
“I I-I don't know sir, he was standing right here just a moment ago” Bumbescu replied meekly.
“How do you ‘not know’ where your filthy animal is?!”
“I don’t know sir, i seemed to have lost him.”
“You ‘lost him’?! How does one even ‘lose’ a cow?!”
“I don’t know m’lord, he just disappeared.”
“Unless this cow is related to Joshua Slocum i wouldn’t think it capable of disappearing so easily.” Carol replied sardonically. “Now go look for it and don’t come back until it’s off palace property.”
Without a word Bumbescu slunk out the door.
“Now then” Carol said, turning his attention back to his general staff. “Any more stupidity, or can we continue this meeting?” Without waiting for a response he continued. “Good, now as i mentioned earlier, we are all moving to Peles castle, any questions?”
Tavian raised his hand.
Carol sighed. “Other than what time lunch is served.”
Tavian lowered his hand.
“Uh, yes. What about our families?” Emilian Lupei enquired.
“What about them?” Carol replied.
“What happens to them? Do they come with us?”
Carol thought for a moment. “Hmm, i guess they should come along then.” Carol sighed. “They’ll have to live in sinaia though, i don’t want any smelly peasants residing in my pristine castle.”
“I will tell my wife to pack our belongings.” Emilian said with dismay.
“Good.” Carol replied “our train leaves at 8 AM tomorrow morning, any last question before i adjourn this meeting?”
Everyone sat silently.
“Ok, back to work gentlemen, and remember, Nos nihil absque Deo!” He said with enthusiasm as he exited the room.
End of Part i