Unbiased History: Restorer of the West (III)
Outside of the autistic screeching of the Senate and the pathetic seething of Ricimer, the Roman Navy are currently playing the game of cat and mouse with the Vandals at the sea. While they are outnumbered 1 to 5, the Romans still pushed on to prevent the Vandal Hordes from going ashore and reinforcing Geiseric.
At the Mediterranean Sea, two ships are on opposite sides. Romans on the left and Vandals on the right. Romans on the ship are having a good breakfast while the Vandals are starving.
Legionnaire Chad: "Well, we don't have salt here, sucks. But at least we have other options to make our food taste great. Good thing the Imperator got our ships stocked."
Vandal: "Chaos hungers."
Legionnaire Chad: "Hey G*rm! How's it going over there? Did you guys ate already?"
Legionnaire Chad is holding a piece of bread while the Vandal seethes and screeches on the lack of food.
Majorian knows that he cannot fight the enemy head on with his small fleet but he made sure that his fleet is mobile and well supplied to allow them to starve the barbarians at the seas while they capture their ships, run from their superior numbers and do raiding actions to the Vandal """"Kingdom"""" territory. One Vandal that goes by the name of Gunthur was not happy with what the Romans are doing, which is good for the Romans. The delays that they were doing were preventing him and his horde from providing help to Carthage as Majorian liberated it from the invasive G*rm horde that established squatter settlements over there. He gathered more forces of starving Vandals and proceeded to intensify the crackdown on the Romans at the sea.
They were able to kill a few more ships and those 350 Roman sailors who died during the initial counterstrike of Gunthur will be remembered well... along with the other casualties that the barbarian warchief will cause.
At the Mediterranean Seas, Vandal Ships are charging towards the outnumbered Western Roman Ships.
West Roman Ship: "Keep at it, boys! Those Barbars can't keep this up for long!"
Vandal Ship: "Chaos hungers! Kill!"
West Roman Ship: "Wait... is that?"
Behind the Vandal Ships, the purple ships of the East Roman Ships appeared.
East Roman Ship: "YEET!"
The Western Romans were about to lose too. Their ships were being overwhelmed as Gunthur as he savagely attacked and attacked in order to satiate their dark god Moloch's bloodlust. However, fortunately for the Romans and unfortunate for the barbarians, the relief forces that Emperor Leo sent has arrived in time to add up more casualties to the Vandal Fleet.
Numerous boarding actions, barrages and ramming actions later, the Romans have won a victory here. The Western Romans lost only a thousand sailor's lives during this glorious naval action while the Eastern Romans lost 3700 soldiers in the process. The Vandals on the other hand, lost 4000 servants of Chaos and 2000 were critically injured out of the 9700 men that they have. The ship losses haven't been tallied here since they were lost in the process thanks to barbarian historical revisionists who refused to admit that they lost in this skirmish and believed that they've won a victory here.
Huh... kind of reminds me of that one Greekoid in the past from some Gr*ek shithole of a kingdom.
Anyway, Gunthur can only seethe and cope at this point thanks to losing so much in the process. His ships are damaged, his crew are starving and injured and they're worn out. At that point, he abandoned his """"King"""" to be fucked up by the incoming Roman Justice and fucked off to Sardinia and prepare for the worst.
Suddenly, the picture of Ballio Lucius appeared and disappeared as fast as it appeared.
What was that?!
Ballio Lucius: "Für Mutter. Tod allen Römern."
I sensed a great evil a while ago...
Anyway, back to the Vandalic War.
Majorian received a letter in regards to the naval battle that happened between the Romans and the Vandals.
"Vandals got BTFO'ed and ran off elsewhere. We'll see if we can get you guys some salt to throw around." -t. Wojakvs
Majorian planned on his campaign against the Vandals infesting the Breadbasket of Rome and saving many cities from whatever counts as a V*ndal rulership there. They were there to liberate the cities, not loot and ransack them... not that it was a difficult choice to make considering that none wants to touch their mud huts. Soldiers asked him what he wanted to do with the Vandals that were left behind in the cities that his forces captured. However, the Vandals answered that question for him...
Vandal Men and Women's eyes no longer glowed red and instead turned blue in front of Majorian, now glowing weirdly. They then looked at Majorian and said one thing that no one expected.
Vandals: "AVE MAIORIANVS."
Majorian: "What the fuck."
Legionnaires and Roman civilians were shocked at the Vandals suddenly proclaiming to him.
Vandal: "We will serve you loyally, my Lord."
To this day, no one knows how they overcame their lust for blood and ability to betray people on the spot but some speculated that Majorian was rather graceful in his victory and his show of mercy to the barbarians were so great that God himself blessed him with the power to help the barbarians see the light of civilization, converting them to the side of the Romans and somewhat civilizing them. Majorian is one of the first of the few Roman Emperors, be it West or East, who are capable of using this kind of power.
Portrait of Justinian appearing on Dovah Hatty's shoulders.
Justinian: "Conversion?!"
Yeah, the power of Conversion will be explored a lot later.
Anyway, Majorian now has Vandals who prefers him to be their overlord than Geiseric and he agreed to let them be. After all, they're not attacking him and their were a lot different compared to the Vandals they've just fought early on.
Which was actually the best decision he ever made since the Vandals outside of Carthage are now rioting and helping the Romans out in the process along with surrendering cities, causing riots against whatever Geiseric left as their guards and using their knowledge of Chaos against the Vandals themselves. What was once thought to be a vicious campaign against the V*ndals is now a cakewalk thanks to Vandals fighting against their own fellows.
Well, Chaos is its own greatest enemy and Majorian took advantage of it by providing mercies and clemencies like as if he was Constantine the Great.
Constantine: "Wow, that's some majestic show of mercy over there, kiddo."
Meanwhile, Geiseric is not doing well in terms of mental health. His people are fighting each other, Romans are coming, the Berbers are now actively wrecking his mud huts, his backup got fucked, he lost his son and he thinks that his court will probably backstab him. He did not expect that his """"Kingdom"""" was falling apart after the Romans came in and decided that he needs to go. This barbarian king is also lacking of any sleep, further fueling his bouts of insanity and making him even more unstable and autistic.
It got even worse when the ambush at Thuburbo Maius that the survivors of Hippo Regius ended up with the majority of the 5000, 3500 Vandals to be precise, converted to Majorian's light , 350 got imprisoned for conversion later and the rest are deader than dead. This failed ambush made him even more autistic as he started screeching, throwing shit around, rant about things, scream some more and proceeded to persecute his own Vandals, an act that will fuck him up even more when the Romans got to Carthage.
The barbarian who sacked Rome and squatted at Roman Africa is now a wreck, broken by the recent events that happened to him.
As Geiseric was in his own world, he did not notice that Majorian just took the city, took out his 10000 soldiers with his own, freed every Roman he captured...
Eudocia: "What happened to Hunneric?"
Majorian: "Dead. My men killed him."
Eudoxia: "Oh thank God for that."
Placidia: "So, are you the new Emperor then?"
Eudocia: "Now now, let's not interfere with our Imperator's work."
Majorian: (Hmmm... I do need a way to further legitimize my rule.)
Chlotharius Hispallus: "That's a lot of V*ndals in the streets. Can someone get the disinfectant over here?"
Legionnaire Chad: "Sorry, we're fresh out! Caudex needed them for disinfecting the walls."
Alphonsus Caudex: "Sorry dude."
Hispallus: "Fuck."
Berber Spurdos on the background are now looting the dead Vandal soldiers. One of them found milk on the Vandal corpses.
Berber Spurdo: "Milg! 
DDDDDD"
... The Vandals are converting to his side, he just lost the Capital of the Vandal """"Kingdom"""" and now, he went totally senile. By the time Majorian found him, he was talking to himself, thinking that they were were guests and... well, acting like an old man really.
Legionnaire Chad: "Sir... can we actually kill this guy? Do we really have to?"
Geiseric: "Wo ist mein Blutsaft?! Wo ist mein Sohn?"
Legionnaire Wojak: "I dunno... he's so... sad at this point."
Majorian: *breathes in and out* "Let's just... show some mercy at this point..."
Geiseric: "Seid ihr Leute hier, um mich zu besuchen? Soll ich Ihnen vom ersten Club meines Sohnes erzählen?"
Majorian: "Yeah... want to talk about this somewhere else?"
Geiseric: "Mein Junge liebte seinen Club so sehr, dass er weinte, als ich ihn wegnehmen musste."
Majorian led the rambling Geiseric while the Legionnaires looked sad at looking at the man.
Geiseric would later die in some island with Majorian roleplaying as his son, letting him know that he did a good job raising him before going away. An undeserved peaceful death for a barbarian like him. It was really sad that G*rmaboos in the future would consider this a tragedy, ignoring the fact that he deserves to be die a more horrible death had Majorian and everyone else in his army not upheld any Roman honor in not slaying helpless, crazy, senile old men.
Either way, Africa is once more in Roman's hands. The mud hut that Geiseric had was looted for valuables it once had and some of it was given to the pleb masses that suffered under Geiseric and most of it kept by Roman Soldiers. Majorian made a speech about Rome, further increasing his popularity and increasing the civilization levels of the Vandals that now see him as their new king. Now, they have to deal with the islands that the Vandals hold.
