Robertson '88

Freaking wish we had like buttons!


President Secretary General Admiral Senator Speaker Sheriff Reverend Pat Robertson, PhD,B.S,Sc.D,etc.

Fixed it.
 
I remember back in 1988 ol' Pat claimed there were still Russian missiles in Cuba! What's the story on that one?
 

Japhy

Banned
I call BULLSHIT. The loss of an engine alone should not be enough to cause a plane to crash. Even if it's a single-engine plane, the pilot should be able to execute a deadstick landing.

In all honesty I think I can speak for most of the readers when I say "NO ONE CARES". Its the means to an end. I for one am just interested in what Tyrannus brings us next.

I'm quite enjoying the experimental style, just like I did with the TR timeline, hope to see more of this.
 
In all honesty I think I can speak for most of the readers when I say "NO ONE CARES". Its the means to an end. I for one am just interested in what Tyrannus brings us next.

I'm quite enjoying the experimental style, just like I did with the TR timeline, hope to see more of this.

I CARE.:mad: When your knowledge of aviation extends beyond "engines stop running, plane stops flying", those kind of errors tend to ruin the immersion.
 
I CARE.:mad: When your knowledge of aviation extends beyond "engines stop running, plane stops flying", those kind of errors tend to ruin the immersion.

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
 
I CARE.:mad: When your knowledge of aviation extends beyond "engines stop running, plane stops flying", those kind of errors tend to ruin the immersion.

Fine. The plane flew into a blizzard of raining frogs with blew up the engines and killed Bush. Better?
 

Japhy

Banned
I CARE.:mad: When your knowledge of aviation extends beyond "engines stop running, plane stops flying", those kind of errors tend to ruin the immersion.

I'm not really interested in derailing the thread, but its a means to an end. Its how to kill Bush and destabilize the GOP establishment. Its not that important, just read the next update when it comes.
 
Fine. The plane flew into a blizzard of raining frogs with blew up the engines and killed Bush. Better?

Just crib something from aircrash investigation, that's semi plausible. Maybe a hydraulic systems failure? Or a fire on board? Compound that with good old fashioned human error, and you have nice little disaster.

Also this Mark guy sounds like a jerk jock, who's not really willing to pull his weight, I hope she really manages to put him to work for that assignment.
 
Just crib something from aircrash investigation, that's semi plausible. Maybe a hydraulic systems failure? Or a fire on board? Compound that with good old fashioned human error, and you have nice little disaster.

Also this Mark guy sounds like a jerk jock, who's not really willing to pull his weight, I hope she really manages to put him to work for that assignment.

Personally, I like the idea that all these deaths are due to God's acts to clear the field for Robertson. Either that or evangelical Christian terrorists who are murdering all the candidates to make Robertson the only contender.
 

Japhy

Banned
If I were her I'd kick Mark to the curb, but she's in love and I'd be lying if I hadn't been both of them at times in the past.
 
Thanks for the kind words everyone! Now time to answer and/or comment on some of those said kind words before I go off into the good night and dream of even more tomfoolery.

Also this Mark guy sounds like a jerk jock, who's not really willing to pull his weight, I hope she really manages to put him to work for that assignment.

A jerk jock? Why good sir, he's the farthest thing from it! He's a great fellow who happens to be suffering from a severe case of trying to save his favorite fictional family of feudal pulp characters from their ignominious(and brought upon themselves) end!

If I were her I'd kick Mark to the curb, but she's in love and I'd be lying if I hadn't been both of them at times in the past.

Poor Mark. You guys and your maturity and realizing long-lasting relationships take constant, conscientious effort to maintain are no fun. :(


I CARE.:mad: When your knowledge of aviation extends beyond "engines stop running, plane stops flying", those kind of errors tend to ruin the immersion.

You're right: I should have used a flock of starlings.

Fine. The plane flew into a blizzard of raining frogs with blew up the engines and killed Bush. Better?

Congratulations! You may have inspired the next chapter tentatively titled [POST SELECTIVELY EDITED HERE TO AVOID SPOILERS].

I remember back in 1988 ol' Pat claimed there were still Russian missiles in Cuba! What's the story on that one?

Gotta save something for the Robertson-[INSERT NAME OF DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE HERE. I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS I KNOW WHO IT'S GOING TO BE.]
 
Chapter 2: Ancient and Not-So-Ancient Aliens


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1]"And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But secularists and their allies, with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy millions of little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped make this happen.""

[/SIZE][/FONT]- Rev. Jerry Falwell, explaining to Larry King on Larry King Live on 2/1/1988 why so many prominent politicians are dying off in randomly gruesome ways.


_______________________________________________________________

Somewhere in the Campus District in Cleveland, Ohio, early in the morning of September 23rd:


Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I've really fucked things up this time! I have never, ever seen her this....livid, yeah, that's the word. Livid. Who knew a woman that pale could turn the single most frightening shade of ruby red as she's screaming at you for in her words "being a colossal fuck-up"? Is she even human? Of course she is! Why am I so weird?

Great, yeah, I get it: been playing one too many video games over the last few with Jae-sung, but c'mon he's a cool dude, and his strategy to save Lord Stark and put him in charge of Herg Drake cavalry sweeping over the Westland Mountain ranges during e-matches is fucking brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Changes the whole damn metagame.

I mean, sure, I could cut back but why should I when she bought me the fucking game for my birthday a few months ago? Is she trying to tell me not to have fun cause fuck no! She's not the boss of me!

God what a....

.....oh man, am I really thinking about how she's in the wrong when I clearly am? Oh fuck....I have been neglecting everything. My girlfriend, my class load, our class. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Wait man - stop panicking. You've got this. You're smart; you've done research projects before both with her and without her. All you need to do is pull together some decent sources supplementing and enhancing her already sterling work. Yeah that oughta do it. Of course it will. It has to. I mean, I can't lose her, can I?

Crapbaskets! ....the library's closed. Hrm, better try online. Maybe ViewTube?

Let's see...."1988 Presidential Mysteries...." Awesome. We're in business! Dozens upon dozens of clips and with a few that appear scholarly....

...you're joking me! An entire channel dedicated to "Antiquity's Aliens" and an episode devoted to explaining the clusterfuck of deaths in '87 and '88? Sorry, dear, but I gotta watch....


_______________________________________________________________
[/SIZE][/FONT]



Partial transcript of episode 10 "Aliens and Recent Political Disasters" of History Channel's award-winning series, "Antiquity's Aliens", from season 7, broadcast on 9/11/2013, as watched in clips by one Mark Thomas Biggs, on September 23rd, at 7:45 PM.

(COLD OPEN)

NARRATOR: It's reported millions of people around the world believe we have been visited in the past by extraterrestrial beings. Is it true? And if so, why do they manipulate our history by murdering politicians they don't agree with? And if so, is the advancement of mankind determined by an alien geopolitical agenda?


(TITLE ROLLS, INTRO MUSIC PLAYS)

NARRATOR: At the start of 1987, the Republican Party was poised to enjoy the usual spirited round of candidates jostling for the right to succeed the beloved and popular president, Ronald Reagan in the election of 1988. But by the end of the year, almost out of the blue, the party was suddenly decimated, candidates dying left and right in a serious of curious tragedies which paved the way for dark horse candidate, televangelist Pat Robertson to capture the Republican Party's nomination. What happened?

GEORGE NOORY: I think someone or something, either earthly or extraterrestrial, throughout history, has planned events out like the assassination of Kennedy and the utter destruction of 90% of the GOP primary candidates during the '88 election cycle to get to a predetermined outcome.

NARRATOR: Why though?

MOULTON HOWE: I think there are groups extraterrestrials out there engaging in acts of overt manipulation - some good, some bad. Its clear to me in the latter, the bad ones engage in political sabotage, depriving us of good men and women who could help us grow and evolve as a people. Hampering us, even. They don't want us to join them....


_____________________________________________________________


(CLIP DEDICATED TO EXPLAINING THE '87 and '88 DISASTERS)

NARRATOR: Starting with the death of Vice President Bush in November of 1987, a series of events nearly destroyed the Republican Party through a vicious primary season won by Pat Robertson, but might there have even been more at stake than we know? Could it be that the untimely deaths of major establishment politicians in the GOP such as Bush, Dole and Kemp, were committed by extraterrestrial beings?

DAVID CHILDRESS: Absolutely yes. Certain ex-tra-terrestriaallls did go out of their way in 1987 and 1988 to assassinate prominent figures. It was reported by people on the ground who witnessed the jet carrying the Vice President that it was swarmed by highly mobile beams of light. They covered the cockpit in fog and unnatural snow, while super-intelligent kamikaze frogs bred for the sole purpose of destroying planes infested the engines, all for the purpose of guiding the plane to a position of certain doom where the desired outcome was definitely weakening the Republican Party. It would seem that something like this happened numerous times throughout the so-called "horrible year".


NARRATOR: Is it possible that both friendly and insidious extraterrestrials have been guiding the course of America since its very beginning as part of a shadow war, and intervened in seminal historical events like the Civil War, the Great Depression, the Kennedy assassination to the GOP's "horrible year" to ensure some part of a great galactic game would continue? Ancient astronaut theorists suggest further evidence that otherworldly forces were present at this point in history; they say it can be found by examining the evidence around the figures of Bush, Dole, Kemp and their respective staffs and handlers. What was their end goal?

DAVID CHILDRESS: We do have evidence of ex-tra-terrestriaallls of a malicious nature did want televangelist Pat Robertson to succeed Reagan...

_______________________________________________________________

Still in Cleveland's Campus District after a few more hours of scintillating educational videos similar to the one above, a man has quite the brilliant thought:

This is amazing shit. Jane's gonna love it almost as much as she loves me.

_____________________________________________________________________




"I'd rather not turn into a pillar of salt, thanks."

- attributed to Howard Baker when he denied a request by many prominent Republicans to run for president in the days after Jack Kemp's death.



 
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Clearly Robertson is a reptilian lizard alien who is responsible for everything from Watergate to the Kennedy Assassination.

I'm really liking this - will any of the Democrats get killed off? (President LaRouche here we come...!)
 
Clearly Robertson is a reptilian lizard alien who is responsible for everything from Watergate to the Kennedy Assassination.

I'm really liking this - will any of the Democrats get killed off? (President LaRouche here we come...!)
Who was frontrunner once Hart dropped out IOTL? Also, Cuomo will really want to sit this one out if Democrats start dying as well.
 
Gephardt - I think.

(At a press conference after Hart's hair catches on fire and incinerates the Senator)

Gephardt: "Uh... I decided that I don't want to be President anymore so I'm announcing my exit from this ca-AGH!"

(Stage suddenly collapses due to a random sinkhole. Gephardt is swallowed by the earth and never seen again.)
 
(At a press conference after Hart's hair catches on fire and incinerates the Senator)

Gephardt: "Uh... I decided that I don't want to be President anymore so I'm announcing my exit from this ca-AGH!"

(Stage suddenly collapses due to a random sinkhole. Gephardt is swallowed by the earth and never seen again.)

Then Lyndon LaRouche appears. ;)
 
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