Well it's funny because this was the first TL I've ever wrote and I didn't know what to do, so I went with my gut and somehow it was the "best worst" comedy since The Room.
Who would think it still could happen
even in this time and place
politicians, they may save themselves
ah but they won't save their face
so hope against hope it's not too late
- "Tell Me Why", by the British band Genesis
"Well Bobby, it's almost time for everyone's favorite activity; the census."
"Yay, I've been looking forward for this one since the last one."
President Kennedy and Vice President Muskie were having their daily morning conversation.
"According to a Gallup pol-"
Muskie stopped Kennedy.
"You can't trust polls."
"Whatever, fuck you. According to a Gallup poll, around 45% of Americans do no trust the government."
"I'm not surprised about anything, congratulations." Exclaimed the bold Vice President.
"Mom's don't want their sons to be politicians." Reiterated the President, calling back on Jack's famous quote.
"If only Teddy and Jack were still here...I hope John Jr. follows in your dad's footsteps." Said a very heart-felt Muskie.
"All the good people have to go early."
even in this time and place
politicians, they may save themselves
ah but they won't save their face
so hope against hope it's not too late
- "Tell Me Why", by the British band Genesis
"Well Bobby, it's almost time for everyone's favorite activity; the census."
"Yay, I've been looking forward for this one since the last one."
President Kennedy and Vice President Muskie were having their daily morning conversation.
"According to a Gallup pol-"
Muskie stopped Kennedy.
"You can't trust polls."
"Whatever, fuck you. According to a Gallup poll, around 45% of Americans do no trust the government."
"I'm not surprised about anything, congratulations." Exclaimed the bold Vice President.
"Mom's don't want their sons to be politicians." Reiterated the President, calling back on Jack's famous quote.
"If only Teddy and Jack were still here...I hope John Jr. follows in your dad's footsteps." Said a very heart-felt Muskie.
"All the good people have to go early."
I WOULD LIKE TO TALK FOR A SECOND.
3 years ago, on a cold January day, I jotted down my first TL. I had no precedent. I was young and didn't know what I was doing. But I was writing about something I loved learning about: the Kennedys. I always feel like John is one of the best President's, and Bobby could had been a good one too. Again, I wasn't that smart three years ago. So with nothing to expect, I published the first chapter of "RFK:If he wasn't killed" to the world on January 3, 2015.
A few days later, I woke up to an influx of responses. I didn't know it at the time, but I had struck comedy gold. This was beyond campy. I wasn't even trying to be funny; it spewed out that way. I made some funny and quotable comments. Looking back, not even a week on the site, and I was getting my 15 minutes of fame. I loved churning this crap out. I loved making people's days. I love making people smile. It's one of my biggest joys in life. And doing this TL was one of my biggest joys.
One day, I went to write an update. And nothing was coming forth out of my brain. I had nothing to think about in this world. So I closed the laptop, and some months had passed by. It was now November, and my life was starting to fall of the rails emotionally. I remember dreaming about this TL. So the next day, I typed up an update. And what do you know, everyone comes spewing back for more. Seeing the responses that I got made me smile so big.
I was writing this out of thin air. I had no basis. Historical accuracy could go fuck itself. It was my TL and I pulled random things out like I was a magician. And no matter what, everyone loved it. I loved it.
But outside of my life here on AH.com, for the past few year, my life had been down. I didn't see a joy in doing this. I felt like it had reached its course. I felt like I had nothing good to do. My depression was getting worse. I wasn't blossoming with ideas. I never felt like I did this TL right. I felt like I screwed up from the get-go. I tried returning this a few times, but to no avail. I had killed it off for good.
...until now. For the past few months, I've been happier than I've been for a long time. I am finally starting to accept that this is a "cult classic". Just one snow day contributed a legacy of success. And I'm glad for that. This TL has produced one of the, if not the most memorable quote from this site's history. This TL has produced amazing laughs. I looked through the whole TL and I was on the verge of tears of because how much I made you guys laugh. With no effort!
I'm ready to return once again to my throne. I have published a few more write-ups, to which no one has responded. But I feel ready to bring this back from the dead. I want to make people laugh once more. I want to be a Maverick once more. I want to make AH.com say, "By the way, it is Kennedy." One more time.
I love you all. From the bottom of my heart.
But now...it's time to keep on rollin, baby.
looks at date
June 5th
50 year anniversary of Robert Kennedy's death
Me: looks like I have to make an RFK post
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"I'm sorry sweetie, but I have to go."
- Last words of former Vice President Richard Nixon, April 3, 1970
April 29, 1968. It was the day that the 1968 election was swarmed into a frenzy. Richard Nixon was campaigning for the Presidency in California...
"Then one crazy fucker had to shoot him."
-Morley Shafer
...gunshots rang out in the plaza. Richard Nixon was shot.
"I was walking beside him and he was smiling that big smile of his. All of a sudden I hear this loud sound, like thunder, rip out across the plaza. And this was a beautiful day. Beautiful. Then I see Richard fall down. Blood is everywhere. Everywhere blood. Everyone is going in a frenzy and I'm saying, "Don't go."
- Pat Nixon
"If Nixon was killed that day, the 1960 election would had gone full circle."
- Hunter Thompson, 1973
Emergency surgery was required in order for Nixon not to die. After extensive surgery, all of the bullets were removed from the body.
The woman who had shot Richard Nixon was connected to something familiar in the American mind. Her name was Lynette Fromme, nicknamed "Squeaky". She had been part of Charles Manson's murderous cult. She said that she shot Nixon "to save America". She spent the rest of her life in prison.
Richard M. Nixon was different after that day. He had been paralyzed from the knees down. Also, he had started developing severe depression. On April 3, 1970, he had committed suicide in front of Pat Nixon...and the charming vice-president of yesterday was gone.
The attempt broke the Republicans in two. The pro-Rockefellers founded the Union party after they thought the 68' convention was rigged for Jim Rhodes. The governor of Ohio entered the race after the attempt as many big time Republicans supported Rhodes. However, it would take 3 ballots before Rhodes was cast as the Republican nominee, beating out Rockefellers. After the nomination of Rhodes, Rockefeller filed a campaign under the "Union Party" banner. He was then casted in all of the 50 states, beating out Rhodes and George Wallace of the American Independent Party to finish 2nd in the Electoral College, but not enough to beat Bobby Kennedy. The Republicans would never truly recover from the split of '68.
The tide shifted towards the favor of Senator Kennedy after Vice President Humphrey's plane crashed on June 10th, 1968. In the torrential rain traveling from Washington to Detroit, the pilot made human error and crashed in a hill near Fort Wayne, Indiana. The pilots, the Vice President and 6 other people died in the crash. There were no survivors.
"My fellow Americans, our Vice President Hubert Horatio Humphrey was sadly and tragically killed in his plane traveling en route to Detroit. This is truly a sad day for America, as one of our premier politicians is now taken away from us too soon."
President Johnson address to the nation concerning the death of Vice President Humphrey
The favor had turned even more for President Kennedy after his some-what godly speeches ensured him of his nomination in the protest-ridden convention in Chicago.
"After I learned of his death, I took a while to just cope with it. Hubert was truly an amazing guy. He was a people's politician. I'm very sure that if he had lived, he would had beaten me for the nomination and won the election. Why? He was such a likeable guy, and I feel like he would had been a better president then me..."
Robert Kennedy, 1983
June 5th
50 year anniversary of Robert Kennedy's death
Me: looks like I have to make an RFK post
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm sorry sweetie, but I have to go."
- Last words of former Vice President Richard Nixon, April 3, 1970
April 29, 1968. It was the day that the 1968 election was swarmed into a frenzy. Richard Nixon was campaigning for the Presidency in California...
"Then one crazy fucker had to shoot him."
-Morley Shafer
...gunshots rang out in the plaza. Richard Nixon was shot.
"I was walking beside him and he was smiling that big smile of his. All of a sudden I hear this loud sound, like thunder, rip out across the plaza. And this was a beautiful day. Beautiful. Then I see Richard fall down. Blood is everywhere. Everywhere blood. Everyone is going in a frenzy and I'm saying, "Don't go."
- Pat Nixon
"If Nixon was killed that day, the 1960 election would had gone full circle."
- Hunter Thompson, 1973
Emergency surgery was required in order for Nixon not to die. After extensive surgery, all of the bullets were removed from the body.
The woman who had shot Richard Nixon was connected to something familiar in the American mind. Her name was Lynette Fromme, nicknamed "Squeaky". She had been part of Charles Manson's murderous cult. She said that she shot Nixon "to save America". She spent the rest of her life in prison.
Richard M. Nixon was different after that day. He had been paralyzed from the knees down. Also, he had started developing severe depression. On April 3, 1970, he had committed suicide in front of Pat Nixon...and the charming vice-president of yesterday was gone.
The attempt broke the Republicans in two. The pro-Rockefellers founded the Union party after they thought the 68' convention was rigged for Jim Rhodes. The governor of Ohio entered the race after the attempt as many big time Republicans supported Rhodes. However, it would take 3 ballots before Rhodes was cast as the Republican nominee, beating out Rockefellers. After the nomination of Rhodes, Rockefeller filed a campaign under the "Union Party" banner. He was then casted in all of the 50 states, beating out Rhodes and George Wallace of the American Independent Party to finish 2nd in the Electoral College, but not enough to beat Bobby Kennedy. The Republicans would never truly recover from the split of '68.
The tide shifted towards the favor of Senator Kennedy after Vice President Humphrey's plane crashed on June 10th, 1968. In the torrential rain traveling from Washington to Detroit, the pilot made human error and crashed in a hill near Fort Wayne, Indiana. The pilots, the Vice President and 6 other people died in the crash. There were no survivors.
"My fellow Americans, our Vice President Hubert Horatio Humphrey was sadly and tragically killed in his plane traveling en route to Detroit. This is truly a sad day for America, as one of our premier politicians is now taken away from us too soon."
President Johnson address to the nation concerning the death of Vice President Humphrey
The favor had turned even more for President Kennedy after his some-what godly speeches ensured him of his nomination in the protest-ridden convention in Chicago.
"After I learned of his death, I took a while to just cope with it. Hubert was truly an amazing guy. He was a people's politician. I'm very sure that if he had lived, he would had beaten me for the nomination and won the election. Why? He was such a likeable guy, and I feel like he would had been a better president then me..."
Robert Kennedy, 1983
THE 1970 MIDTERMS
President Kennedy, playing tennis in the White House lawn, May 3, 1970
The Robert F. Kennedy administration had gone off to a good start, but not the one that his deceased brother had. The war in Japan had taken a hit on his image, but the death of the General Secretary benefiting him. In June, the President remarked that he would like to meet with Andropov before the close of his first term. As Life put it, Kennedy was looking to "go to the USSR."
Even with which the diplomatic gains that the President was gaining, his party looked to be on life support. The Republicans had gained a lot of traction during the winter months of 1970, but President Kennedy and Vice President Muskie was campaigning for the candidates in the Senate. The President pushed out to "get out the vote", especially in the young peoples, saying "You don't have a right to argue if you don't vote."
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The New York senate race might have been one of the most interesting political races of all time. After the depature of Bobby Kennedy from the seat, all hell had broken loose. The men running were: the son of one of the greatest presidents of all time, an advisor for the first Kennedy, the man who replaced the other Kennedy. Funny world, innit?
Franklin D. Roosevelt Jr. decided to have a go at it, trying to equal his father's famous rise to politics. Ted Sorenson, the speechwriter to John Kennedy, had captured the Democratic nomination, and current senator Charles Goodell had won the bidding for the GOP. FDR Jr. ran trying to get people to vote for him because of the success related to the name, while Sorenson tried to market himself as "the true successor to Kennedy", famously saying one time that "I asked the people what to do for your country, not him." In a race full of mudslinging, the younger Franklin Delano Roosevelt had cemented the Roosevelt family as a true political dynasty, becoming the Liberal Party's highest office holder.
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A lot had changed since Ronald Reagan had been elected governor of California in 1966. First of all, Ronald Reagan was dead. Edwin Reinecke, the man who succeeded the now-dead Reagan, did not have the same drive and compassion as Ronald did, and was soundly defeated in the primaries by Barry Goldwater Jr. The Democrats fielded Jesse Unruh for their bid. Many avoided Barry Goldwater Jr. due to the negativity that his father's name had gained throughout the 1964 presidential election. Well bad news, California became hell.
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President Kennedy, playing tennis in the White House lawn, May 3, 1970
The Robert F. Kennedy administration had gone off to a good start, but not the one that his deceased brother had. The war in Japan had taken a hit on his image, but the death of the General Secretary benefiting him. In June, the President remarked that he would like to meet with Andropov before the close of his first term. As Life put it, Kennedy was looking to "go to the USSR."
Even with which the diplomatic gains that the President was gaining, his party looked to be on life support. The Republicans had gained a lot of traction during the winter months of 1970, but President Kennedy and Vice President Muskie was campaigning for the candidates in the Senate. The President pushed out to "get out the vote", especially in the young peoples, saying "You don't have a right to argue if you don't vote."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The New York senate race might have been one of the most interesting political races of all time. After the depature of Bobby Kennedy from the seat, all hell had broken loose. The men running were: the son of one of the greatest presidents of all time, an advisor for the first Kennedy, the man who replaced the other Kennedy. Funny world, innit?
Franklin D. Roosevelt Jr. decided to have a go at it, trying to equal his father's famous rise to politics. Ted Sorenson, the speechwriter to John Kennedy, had captured the Democratic nomination, and current senator Charles Goodell had won the bidding for the GOP. FDR Jr. ran trying to get people to vote for him because of the success related to the name, while Sorenson tried to market himself as "the true successor to Kennedy", famously saying one time that "I asked the people what to do for your country, not him." In a race full of mudslinging, the younger Franklin Delano Roosevelt had cemented the Roosevelt family as a true political dynasty, becoming the Liberal Party's highest office holder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lot had changed since Ronald Reagan had been elected governor of California in 1966. First of all, Ronald Reagan was dead. Edwin Reinecke, the man who succeeded the now-dead Reagan, did not have the same drive and compassion as Ronald did, and was soundly defeated in the primaries by Barry Goldwater Jr. The Democrats fielded Jesse Unruh for their bid. Many avoided Barry Goldwater Jr. due to the negativity that his father's name had gained throughout the 1964 presidential election. Well bad news, California became hell.
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