Still working on the Maggie Pie thing, here's something I wrote ages ago and forgot to post:
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Battlefield Earth
L. Ron Hubbard began work on Battlefield Earth in late 1979, while in hiding in the French countryside. It was published by Author Services, the publishing arm of the Church of Dianetics, in 1981. Promoted as Hubbard's "return to the genre that first saw his genius", the book is set in the year 3000, where "man is an endangered species" and the Earth is ruled by the sadistic, totalitarian, collectivist Psychlo Federation. Our hero, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler, is bored with life and his remote mountain village in "what was once the Canadian Rockies", and decides to strike out on his own. He ends up being captured by Terl, a mid-ranking Psychlo bureaucrat who, as the novel reminds us, is "clever, but not intelligent", and put to work in a "gold mining collective" with other captured humans. Jonnie, who can speak Psychlo, inspires a revolution among his fellow humans, and with a band of warrior Scots and German soldiers, he launches a daring attack on the Psychlo homeworld, liberating Earth. Jonnie and the rest of the humans then must deal with the aftermath, including alien loan sharks and prisoners of war.
The book, while a bestseller (thanks to the Church of Dianetics manipulating the charts), was critically panned by most reviewers--The Economist panned it as "barbiturates in print", referencing Mark Twain's review of the Book of Mormon. Hubbard, however, seemed to see something in it that no one else saw. Not only did he make a soundtrack to the book, Space Jazz (famously ranked by New Musical Express as #1 in their list of "Worst Albums in Human History") he announced that he would produce and direct a feature length film adaptation.
After being passed by both London Films, the Rank Organisation, and MGM UK, production began in 1983 by Brilliant Films, an in-house production company of the Church. Auckland was chosen as the main filming location, as the weak New Zealand dollar at the time meant that costs would be cheaper. The film starred Michael Caine as Terl (who, in an interview with Le Monde, commented “I’ve never seen it, I’ve heard it was dreadful. But I have seen the house it built me, and it’s fantastic!”), as well as Neil Gaiman as Johnnie Goodboy Tyler (at the time, his father David was head of PR. Gaiman left the church after completing filming, and has since refused to ever talk either the Church or the film. His father left as well to avoid having to "disconnect" with his son).
Filming was troubled - the tax breaks given to the production by the New Zealand Film Commission was controversial during a recession. Hubbard was out of his element in the director's chair: according to Caine, "he was the least involved director I had ever seen...he only got out of his chair to get food or cigarettes". The weather was uncooperative, with progress stopped by storms. The Rocky Mountains set was built on Mount Taupiri, which was a sacred location and burial ground of the Waikato tribe, leading to protests from Maori activists (L. Ron Hubbard did not endear himself to the Maori people by calling the activists “wogs”, obviously unaware of what that term means). Finally, the brutal conditions of many crew members (most of which were members of the Sea Org) led to a class action lawsuit that almost crippled the church. The stress of finishing up the film contributed to Hubbard’s death from a stroke. (The Church insists that he finished the film before his death, but anonymous crew members told the News of the World that second unit director Roger Christian finished the last few scenes while Hubbard was in the emergency room).
Despite all these troubles, the church expected the film to be a blockbuster hit, signing merchandising deals with toy giant Palitoy and fast food giant Maggie Pie (who made Battlefield Earth the theme of the first ever "Little Meal", which would later be renamed the Fun Meal). An internal memo from Author Services hyped the film as “the perfect pro-civilization counterpoint to the Red propaganda of Star Wars”. Since the film only covered the first part of the novel, a “Part I” was hubristically included in the title sequence.
It was almost as if they were setting it up to fail. The film’s premiere at the London Film Festival led to mass walkouts and refunds. Critics were harsh on it - The Daily Express described it as being “a crime against the medium”, Le Monde called it “celluloid garbage”, and The Daily Mirror called it “physically painful”. Many articles were written decrying the racist caricatures in the film (including an African mongrel tribe and a submissive Chinese family). Audiences dismissed it, leading to a Guinness World Record for "biggest box office flop". Palitoy lost so much money on it that they were bought out by MRF, their distributor in the Indian market. Maggie Pie quickly withdrew the kid's meal toys after the opening weekend, which ironically turned them into rare collector's items. The Church was nearly bankrupt, and only stayed afloat by pressuring the Franco-British parliament to recognize it as a religion. David Icke, Hubbard’s successor, supposedly told Church members to never talk about the film and deny its existence, and it has never been released on home video anywhere in the capitalist sphere (outside of an extremely rare release in Malaysia).
The film would've been placed in the annals of history as a miserable failure...if, ironically enough, it hadn't been discovered by the Reds.
Someway, somehow, a pirated copy had made its way across the pond into America, and landed in the hands of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 producers. The resulting episode of the show, often considered one of the best by fans, led to increased interest in the film as a new classic in the bad movie canon, and demand for the movie skyrocketed. Bootleg copies of varying quality circulated on colleges campuses and conventions, eventually leading to a new, high-quality DVD release co-produced by Mike Nelson (and sourced from the copy used on MST3K, which was jokingly advertised on the DVD cover as "the highest quality copy we'll probably ever see"). In the Soviet Union, Russian comedian Dmitry "Goblin" Puchkov re-dubbed the movie as Seven Versts to the Stars, which became massively popular on the internet and spawned the "Free Translation" movement. With the birth of file-sharing, French and British leftists could finally get their hands on a copy to show as a part of Anti-Reaction Movie Nights, and the Church of Dianetics' lawsuits over these pirated copies have ironically led to a greater awareness about the film among the general Franco-British public.