rast's A Shift In Priorities Redubbed: Discussion Thread

So is this a massive proof-reading project or a rewrite of the TL? Having followed the TL from day one, I've grown accustomed to "rastian" English, but it could use some editorial critiquing from native speakers. But if you're planning on any changes to the TL, I've got a hot bucket of tar and a big bag of chicken feathers with your name on it, bud! :D
 
The two points critisized mostly in rasts marvelous TL are the late POD and the speed of development, particularly in Middle Africa.

I would propose for you to somewhat rewrite the beginning, for example pre-date the development of Kanobils (first tests already pre-war, Bauer or somebody else taking the idea in 1915, beginning of construction on 1916, something like that). There are also some other ideas around on the forum that could change the war even rather lately without a major POD from rast's TL, just some strategies or errors changed on both sides. Ultimately, it's all about Germany winning rather late in the war.

Considering Mittelafrika, I think quantifying German expenses for development there would do a lot, as would clarifying that many of the wonders of Mittelafrika we see are rather singulary, with vast territories still backward. The battleship program was also critizised - just downsize it: a cruiser built in Mittelafrika at that time is a huge thing, after all. Alternatively you could turn for some of BlondieBC's ideas to win Germany the war: a development scheme having started before the war in Tansania and Cameroon allows for both colonies to survive throughout the war, maybe go on the offensive, and contribute to submarine warfare as in BlondieBC's TL. Helps winning the war and leaves both Cameroon and Tansania with a lot more infrastructure, more troops and already some native educated elites post-war. More or less you'd just move some of the development rast's TL saw to the time before and during WWI.

By the way: I'd also propose that Germany keeps Czechia and Slovenia and maybe considers some annexations in the East.
 
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Thank you Expat it is a lot of work. But I meant to include this in the OP. I was eager to get this up and left it off. Anyway I hope this could be a collaborative project. As stated they will be no changes to rast's story this is simply an edit with expanded content. If anything only more details will be added. But if anyone has any skill in altering or creating images I could use your help. We need a new kannobil photo. Monty there will be no changes. Honestly the only change I've contemplated is the survival of the Red Baron lol.
 
The two points critisized mostly in rasts marvelous TL are the late POD and the speed of development, particularly in Middle Africa.

I would propose for you to somewhat rewrite the beginning, for example pre-date the development of Kanobils (first tests already pre-war, Bauer or somebody else taking the idea in 1915, beginning of construction on 1916, something like that). There are also some other ideas around on the forum that could change the war even rather lately without a major POD from rast's TL, just some strategies or errors changed on both sides. Ultimately, it's all about Germany winning rather late in the war.

Considering Mittelafrika, I think quantifying German expenses for development there would do a lot, as would clarifying that many of the wonders of Mittelafrika we see are rather singulary, with vast territories still backward. The battleship program was also critizised - just downsize it: a cruiser built in Mittelafrika at that time is a huge thing, after all. Alternatively you could turn for some of BlondieBC's ideas to win Germany the war: a development scheme having started before the war in Tansania and Cameroon allows for both colonies to survive throughout the war, maybe go on the offensive, and contribute to submarine warfare as in BlondieBC's TL. Helps winning the war and leaves both Cameroon and Tansania with a lot more infrastructure, more troops and already some native educated elites post-war. More or less you'd just move some of the development rast's TL saw to the time before and during WWI.

By the way: I'd also propose that Germany keeps Czechia and Slovenia and maybe considers some annexations in the East.

I also agree that the POD by itself is far too late. To me, what the Germans absolutely need more than anything else is to keep the United States out of the war. With the US, the Entente had an unlimited line of credit, along with supplies, food stuffs and most of all a morale advantage of the prospect that US forces were fresh, etc. That shouldn't be too hard of a POD to accomplish, and then you can combine no US intervention with the earlier development of the Kanoblis (starting in 1915-16) and then you can have them reliably deployed by late 1917 early 1918, then you can definitely see the Germans coming out on top in a very plausible manner.

Also agree about the overly rapid growth of MittelAfrika, that you would have needed to start these developments much earlier for it to become a major power by the 1930s.

One other major criticism I had about this TL is that while the US economy all but collapsed, essentially a worse Great Depression, Europe was absolutely untouched. Whenever you have the largest economy in the world imploding, that's going to cause major disruptions no matter how much the Germans attempted to regionalize their economic sphere, and I would have anticipated at the very least a substantial recession in Germany and in most of the other industrialized economies of the world.
 
I also agree that the POD by itself is far too late. To me, what the Germans absolutely need more than anything else is to keep the United States out of the war. With the US, the Entente had an unlimited line of credit, along with supplies, food stuffs and most of all a morale advantage of the prospect that US forces were fresh, etc. That shouldn't be too hard of a POD to accomplish, and then you can combine no US intervention with the earlier development of the Kanoblis (starting in 1915-16) and then you can have them reliably deployed by late 1917 early 1918, then you can definitely see the Germans coming out on top in a very plausible manner.

An earlier end of the war would also help to explain why Germany didn't suffer that much from inflation and recession post-war. Realistically, all European powers would have been near-broke. rast partially solved it with the US buying Allied colonies - which can still be done and fuel the Great Southern Conquest. However, with significantly less debt on all sides due to an earlier end of the war it's much easier to get Europe out of the war without major problems on all sides.

One other major criticism I had about this TL is that while the US economy all but collapsed, essentially a worse Great Depression, Europe was absolutely untouched. Whenever you have the largest economy in the world imploding, that's going to cause major disruptions no matter how much the Germans attempted to regionalize their economic sphere, and I would have anticipated at the very least a substantial recession in Germany and in most of the other industrialized economies of the world.

I found the explanation that economic-bloc-building and US policies together with WWI, the TAW and the Great Southern Conquest already severed many trade ties between Germany and the US. You should also remember that trade/exports weren't that important back then as they are today. So shrinking economy yes, but substantial recession is probably too much IMHO.

Anyway, I wouldn't object at all if there was such a recession written in the TL.
 
Second batch took less time than I thought to edit. So, it's up. Couldn't see anything to wiki link myself. If anyone sees anything they'd like to see a link to let me know. I also put a request out for anyone to produce a new image for the kanobil.
 
Go check out the TL added some more links and some images. And would someone let me know if they like the way I'm doing this...
 
Bump added another update and check out the old ones you'll find some new surprises. :D

attachment.php
 
One minor nit to pick: All the Kanobils but one have female names. In the original, the name of that tank was Frederike which is the female form of Friedrich/Frederick in German. You used the male version. It' just a matter of reading aesthetics, but it does bother me a bit.
 
One minor nit to pick: All the Kanobils but one have female names. In the original, the name of that tank was Frederike which is the female form of Friedrich/Frederick in German. You used the male version. It' just a matter of reading aesthetics, but it does bother me a bit.

Thank you for pointing this out my apologies. Going through all those German and Dutch names of people and places is confusing to an American :p The change will be made though.
 
Bumpity. I'm being both productive and lazy at the same time. :D Got Interior Views of the Victors up but I'll do the wiki links tomorrow.
 

abc123

Banned
The two points critisized mostly in rasts marvelous TL are the late POD and the speed of development, particularly in Middle Africa.

I would propose for you to somewhat rewrite the beginning, for example pre-date the development of Kanobils (first tests already pre-war, Bauer or somebody else taking the idea in 1915, beginning of construction on 1916, something like that). There are also some other ideas around on the forum that could change the war even rather lately without a major POD from rast's TL, just some strategies or errors changed on both sides. Ultimately, it's all about Germany winning rather late in the war.

Considering Mittelafrika, I think quantifying German expenses for development there would do a lot, as would clarifying that many of the wonders of Mittelafrika we see are rather singulary, with vast territories still backward. The battleship program was also critizised - just downsize it: a cruiser built in Mittelafrika at that time is a huge thing, after all. Alternatively you could turn for some of BlondieBC's ideas to win Germany the war: a development scheme having started before the war in Tansania and Cameroon allows for both colonies to survive throughout the war, maybe go on the offensive, and contribute to submarine warfare as in BlondieBC's TL. Helps winning the war and leaves both Cameroon and Tansania with a lot more infrastructure, more troops and already some native educated elites post-war. More or less you'd just move some of the development rast's TL saw to the time before and during WWI.

By the way: I'd also propose that Germany keeps Czechia and Slovenia and maybe considers some annexations in the East.

I agree.
Especially about Middle Africa- IMO Rast's TL is here too fast, we couldn't expect such results at least for 20 more years...
 
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