prototype ancient Egyptian TL

This is a prototype scenario, no where close to being done, i plan on adding a bunch more details, adding more realism (if needed), once its done i plan on adding a forum for it on here, but i just wanted you guys to help me out a little, like, tell me what needs changed, what is too asb, etc.:

… It was then that as Userkare attempted to murder pharaoh Teti, but Teti, being the great god he is, successfully prevented Userkare from completing his task, Teti proceeded to steal the blade from Userkare, and killed Userkare with it. During Teti’s reign traitoring high officials begin to build tombs for themselves that rivaled that of our gods! When he found out about this, Teti immediately ordered it stopped, the traitors be sacrificed to the gods, and all the traitors wealth to be transferred to the central court. No one would attempt this again. Teti went on to rule for many years. His reign was from 2345-2310, when he died of old age.

Teti’s son, Pepi I, then took over. Pepi did many great things during his reign to strengthen our great empire, this included conquering Nubia, which is part of the Holy Nile. He expanded our trade into the nations beyond the red sea. He also made a decision that would change Egypt’s history forever, he chose to go against tradition, and he made the nomarchs start paying taxes, but less than the average man. This reduced their power significantly, and made sure the pharaohs would always stay in power. Pepi had 7 children during his reign, including future pharaoh Pepi II. Pepi I was pharaoh from 2310-2278.

His son Pepi II took over in 2278, and was pharaoh until 2247, during his reign his significant achievement amount was low, but he did do one thing, and that was he expanded our empire down to the great split of the nile, this great split is where the nile, our great path to the afterlife, leaves into two halves, our path to heaven, and our path to the underworld, we go down one or the other depending on where we shall spend eternity. Why he chose to make the decision is unknown to us, Pepi II was a very personal god, but it is believed that he did this simply to expand his influence, and to get more slaves, which were essential to Egyptian economy at the time. Pepi II had one kid during his reign, but it was a daughter.

In 2247 his daughter, Nadrop, took over as the first female Egyptian Pharaoh, as per Pepi II’s personal request. During Nadrop’s rule women got some more rights, most notably that now women could have multiple husbands, along with men having multiple wives still. Nadrop wasn’t pharaoh for that long when she was assassinated for attempting a lot more reforms since men still had slightly more rights than women, and they wanted it to stay like that. It is also believed Nadrop wanted to expand our empire to the portals to heaven, and the underworld, which we would accomplish soon after. Nadrop was pharaoh from 2247-2230.

She had no children during her time as pharaoh, but she did have a request for a successor, her 1st husband, Marcevi, who by himself had 2 other wives. Marcevi was pharaoh from 2230-2200. Marcevi supported Nadrop’s ambitions to give women everything men had, and was able to pull it off during his reign. Marcevi did one thing during his reign that helped the Egyptians survive the great drought from 2200-2150, what he did was he started using water from the River of the Pharaohs (OTL Amazon River) for part of the crops, which helped us survive the later on great drought. He had two kids during his reign with his two remaining wives, one each. The next pharaoh would be the one to actually rule Egypt during the great drought. He was the son of Marcevi’s second wife, and his name was Marakni.

Marakni was pharoah from 2200-2140. Marakni took over at one of the worst times in our history, with rebellions all over, and Nomarchs trying to exceed the pharaoh’s power again, it is a miracle he got us out of it. Marakni is today known as one of history’s best pharaohs. He even used the RIver of the Pharaohs to his advantage to be able to feed his starving people. All the rebellions that occurred during his reign brought our military down quite a bit, but they we all defeated, and all the nomarchs who attempted to become more powerful were sacrificed. The great drought ended in 2150 when the gods believing we had passed their test. Marakni was pharaoh for ten years after the great drought, and was essential to getting Egypt back on track after the great drought. Egypt’s people were so spread out after the great drought Marakni was able to take over all land along the paths all the way to the portals to the afterlife (OTL lake Victoria,and lake Tana), along with all the small rivers that branched off from the Nile to ensure no drought would affect Egypt like the last one. The next pharaoh was a warrior for the military during the great drought, and was requested to be the next pharaoh by Marakni.

His name was Godought. Godought believed in expanding Egypt’s power as much as possible, and so expanded around the greater nile (OTL mediterranean, and black sea). He expanded to the other side of the god’s landmass (OTL Africa),and the great divider (OTL bosporus) and became a greater empire. Godought was pharaoh from 2140-2100, and made Egypt a lot more war-like during his reign. He had many children during his reign, so many that many names were lost to history, but one stayed known to now, and will be known forever, pharaoh Vocinya.

Vocinya was also a very war like pharaoh, and he had Egypt start creating ships to sail the greater Nile, and explore the land beyond. We started by going across the great divider, and we discovered new land, this new land was inhabited by humans, rather advanced humans at that, they were working with a metal known as bronze. This metal was honestly quite useful, so much so our pharaoh Vocinya chose to not conquer these people just yet, instead trade with them until we can become more advanced, than go in for the kill.
 
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a massive wall of text makes your post a lot harder to read.

You'll get a lot more comments on the TL if it's more readable. (There is so very much material posted on this site, I don't think ANYONE reads all of it. Well, except for Thande....)
 
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