do you want to piss of a country that plugs their cheese full of holes?
Proposals and War Aims That Didn't Happen Map Thread
- Thread starter Beedok
- Start date
Russian Emperors are relatives of Gedmin, and in general this is one of the titles. Everything is legal.
(Joke)
Land they wanted, I'm not sure if Switzerland would agree to that as it might compromise their neutrality in a possible future war with Germany or Austria.
Switzerland didn't even want Vorarlberg after WWI, even though a local plebiscite voted in favour of it....
so what happens to dobruja?
This, for a lack of a better word, unbelievable map from WW1-era Russian Empire. It comes with a helpful blurb which I have actually translated.
THE MAP OF FUTURE EUROPE
(the way WILHELM "THE TSAR OF EUROPE" never thought to see it)
RUSSIA — the great and autocratic, it fights for the restoration of right, justice, peace and law on Earth — it does not need other people's own, it does not need other countries' land; it shall only take what it once owned — Red Ruthenia with Lvov and Peremyshl (TN: Przemyśl in present-day Poland) and part of Bukovina with Chernovitsy (TN: Chernivtsi in present-day Ukraine). East Prussia with Königsberg on the Vistula, not once painted crimson with Russian blood, shall again be Russian soil. Danzig and Thorn (TN: now known as Toruń) shall be made Russian fortresses.
Within Russia, under its mighty scepter, free in its self-governance Poland shall reunite its provinces previously stripped away by the scheming of Germany and Austria.
ENGLAND — Its existing colonies publicly solemnly recognized that the just England has become like a mother to them — it will get all colonies of Germany, will ensure the rule of law and justice for them and become a mother to them as well.
FRANCE — will get the territory between rivers Moselle and Rhine with the fortress Koblenz. The black mourning crepe shall fall from the Strasbourg statue (TN: the one on Place de la Concorde in Paris), and once again Alsace and Lorraine shall be free France.
BELGIUM — the first one with its insane bravery to show Germany that the strength is not in cannons, but in spirit; poor, devastated Belgium, does it not deserve to be a great power? It shall gain the Rhine Province, and the right to take the finest artworks from Berlin museums to Brussels.
SERBIA — shall be a big power too; it deserved that by paying with its Belgrade. Bosnia, Herzegovina, Dalmatia and Croatia shall be ceded to it; so that muzzles of Austrian cannons would not look at Belgrade, it shall also gain Semlin (TN: referring to Zemun, now, ironically, a part of Belgrade).
DENMARK — shall get Schleswig and Holstein to the Kiel Canal.
HOLLAND shall get Essen, where Krupp's factories used to be, since the capital of War shall bow down to Hague, the capital of peace.
ITALY — shall get Southern Tirol and Istria with Triest.
SWITZERLAND — a peaceful land of resorts shall get Tirol with its resorts, so that Russian could spend their vacations not in Austria.
ROMANIA will gain part of Bukovina and Transylvania, only because Bukovina used to be Romania.
CZECHIA with Prague and Hungary with Budapest shall each become separate states in the borders of their peoples, with governing chosen by the people.
ALBANIA, having lost any possibility of a separate state, shall get divided between Montenegro, Serbia and Italy.
TURKEY shall keep its belongings as long as it will not go insane and will not send "troops to the bottom of the Black Sea", as said by Mr. Mikhaylovskiy in Russkoe Slovo.
Germany and Austria shall get everything left from other states.
And all the nations of Europe shall live in peace and prosperity, not seeing the terrifying ghost of Wilhelm the Mad and his armored fist.
Hmmm... seems to have no colouring at all.... might have been an oversight, or maybe the author/cartographer wasn't quite sure what he wanted to happen to it. I just assumed it would be left to Romania, with the post-1913 boundary to the south of Constanta, including the "Cadrilater"...
I've never heard of Trans-Pecos before, when was that proposed?
Wanting it does not mean that the Danes were guaranteed to keep it.
No but there were Danish minorities there and historic ties, neither of wich the Swiss hat in these regions shown on the map ;D
The variety of German spoken in Vorarlberg is closer to what they speak in Zurich than it is to what is spoken in Berlin or Vienna. Even if that was not the case, Switzerland has areas that use languages different from the rest.
Vorarlberg also held a referendum after WWI on joining Switzerland, which won with 80% of the vote. Nothing went ahead because no government anywhere wanted it.
So here's one proposal that leans more heavily on the darkly comedic: Last Divination by Yuri Petukhov, written in 1991-1993, where he lays out his predictions for the Apocalyptic era of 1997-2000. This may be one of the most absurdly paranoid anti-Western texts I've ever seen, putting even Vladimir Zhirinovsky and The Foundations of Geopolitics to shame, so brace yourselves. (Credit to Vanga-Vangog for the inspiration bringing it to my attention.)
According to Petukhov, starting on Valentine's Day 1997, the world would plunge into hell. The United States and its allies, who he refers to as the "UN-Pentagon", begin a campaign of global conquest on all adversaries. First, Cuba, North Korea and the north coast of Libya are all nuked into oblivion, then Africa and the Middle east are occupied and all Arab-speakers are wiped out. Afterward, Germany and Turkey invade and carve up Yugoslavia, killing most of the Serbs and turning the rest into slaves to work in mines, and the Vatican declares war on the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Pope himself orders all Catholics to begin slaughtering all Orthodox Christians worldwide. That's just the beginning.
But the real shitshow takes place in the former USSR. Most of Russia, including Crimea and Murmansk, are invaded and split up into new American states and protectorates, and the Americans fill their cities with cheap Chinese labor while all native Russians sent to artic concentration camps for their organs to be harvested. Most of the Far East is absorbed by Japan, who establish an apartheid-like system for Russians. Ukraine becomes a de jure independent state ruled by "German-Polish gauleiters," the Baltic States slaughter all Slavic-speakers to curry favor with the UN-Pentagon, and Central Asia, after being devastated by war and disease, is made into a huge quarantine zone, where outbreaks are quelled with napalm. Everything of value is taken from Russia- natural resources, technologies, works of art, intellectuals, cultural treasures, fertile women, everything. By the time it's looted of everything, Moscow is turned into a massive industrial landfill that the Russian people aren't allowed to visit.
The UN-Pentagon forms a new global order, with its only opponent being the People's Republic of China. Of course, they're more of a mild annoyance and are held in check by a naval blockade, so it's of no concern to them. This lasts for less than a year.
On Valentine's Day 1998, a massive storm devastates New York City, causing massive economic turmoil that leads to a race war in affected states, quickly spilling over into a brief but brutal Second American Civil War. During this time, a Russian-Jewish mafia (of course >_>) seizes control of America and causes the global order to break down, causing the UN-Pentagon to fracture into several factions fighting for control.
Germany is taken over by neo-nazis, who establish a Fourth Reich and begin Lebensrauming as much as they can, reaching as far as the Volga River. Neo-nazis also seize control over Boliva and eventually all of South America, joining with the Fourth Reich as overseas territories. Meanwhile, after their conquest of Turkey, the Reich seize Iran (now called Eastern Syria for some reason), wipe out all Persians with napalm, and continue on into India, where they contend with the remaining UN-Pentagon forces. They manage to stop the neo-nazis, but at the cost of millions of lives. Another opponent of the Fourth Reich is Greater Israel, who expands across much of former American-held Arabia.
Central America is destroyed by someone blowing up several underwater volcanoes with nuclear submarines, which was followed by thousands of helicopters and planes sent in to finish off the survivors and collect anything valuable.
Meanwhile, a new religious force called the World Ecumenist Church emerges and unites all major religions save for the nearly extinct Orthodox Church...which, since it's apparently the true form of Christianity, means that nothing will stop the rise of the antichrist and his Satanic rule over the world. Thus, they declare themselves the Church of the Antichrist. They begin enslaving people and all believers engage in drug-fueled parties while enjoying the horrific executions of dissidents.
But the most batshit bonkers thing? One of the treasures taken from Russia was the body of Lenin, which is moved to a secret medical facility in Zurich, where a project full of thousands of scientists funded by the IMF and Israeli government, are constantly supplying it with thousands of liters of pure Russian blood, extracted from about 80 million prisoners of the arctic death camps, in order to bring him back to life. And it works.
Japan sinks into the ocean. The U.S., Fourth Reich, Israel and China launch their nukes. The Ecumenist Church declares that the end is coming and only those who have slayed at least 100 people will get to live. After another year of war and a series of natural disasters, including volcanic eruptions that bury South America in lava, the human population is reduced to around half a billion, who fall to cannibalism. The remnants of the UN-Pentagon flee to bases in Antarctica, bringing in all the supplies, slaves and treasures they can...only to get killed off by some sudden volcanic eruptions.
Finally, after being fed the blood of millions of Russians, zombie Lenin emerges from the ruins of Zurich and roams the planet, killing and eating all remaining humans in about two months. Thus, the world belongs to zombie Lenin.
Apparently this is a saner version of his original vision. The original included the earth's core turning into a ball of spiders, somehow.
But the real shitshow takes place in the former USSR. Most of Russia, including Crimea and Murmansk, are invaded and split up into new American states and protectorates, and the Americans fill their cities with cheap Chinese labor while all native Russians sent to artic concentration camps for their organs to be harvested. Most of the Far East is absorbed by Japan, who establish an apartheid-like system for Russians. Ukraine becomes a de jure independent state ruled by "German-Polish gauleiters," the Baltic States slaughter all Slavic-speakers to curry favor with the UN-Pentagon, and Central Asia, after being devastated by war and disease, is made into a huge quarantine zone, where outbreaks are quelled with napalm. Everything of value is taken from Russia- natural resources, technologies, works of art, intellectuals, cultural treasures, fertile women, everything. By the time it's looted of everything, Moscow is turned into a massive industrial landfill that the Russian people aren't allowed to visit.
The UN-Pentagon forms a new global order, with its only opponent being the People's Republic of China. Of course, they're more of a mild annoyance and are held in check by a naval blockade, so it's of no concern to them. This lasts for less than a year.
On Valentine's Day 1998, a massive storm devastates New York City, causing massive economic turmoil that leads to a race war in affected states, quickly spilling over into a brief but brutal Second American Civil War. During this time, a Russian-Jewish mafia (of course >_>) seizes control of America and causes the global order to break down, causing the UN-Pentagon to fracture into several factions fighting for control.
Germany is taken over by neo-nazis, who establish a Fourth Reich and begin Lebensrauming as much as they can, reaching as far as the Volga River. Neo-nazis also seize control over Boliva and eventually all of South America, joining with the Fourth Reich as overseas territories. Meanwhile, after their conquest of Turkey, the Reich seize Iran (now called Eastern Syria for some reason), wipe out all Persians with napalm, and continue on into India, where they contend with the remaining UN-Pentagon forces. They manage to stop the neo-nazis, but at the cost of millions of lives. Another opponent of the Fourth Reich is Greater Israel, who expands across much of former American-held Arabia.
Central America is destroyed by someone blowing up several underwater volcanoes with nuclear submarines, which was followed by thousands of helicopters and planes sent in to finish off the survivors and collect anything valuable.
Meanwhile, a new religious force called the World Ecumenist Church emerges and unites all major religions save for the nearly extinct Orthodox Church...which, since it's apparently the true form of Christianity, means that nothing will stop the rise of the antichrist and his Satanic rule over the world. Thus, they declare themselves the Church of the Antichrist. They begin enslaving people and all believers engage in drug-fueled parties while enjoying the horrific executions of dissidents.
But the most batshit bonkers thing? One of the treasures taken from Russia was the body of Lenin, which is moved to a secret medical facility in Zurich, where a project full of thousands of scientists funded by the IMF and Israeli government, are constantly supplying it with thousands of liters of pure Russian blood, extracted from about 80 million prisoners of the arctic death camps, in order to bring him back to life. And it works.
Japan sinks into the ocean. The U.S., Fourth Reich, Israel and China launch their nukes. The Ecumenist Church declares that the end is coming and only those who have slayed at least 100 people will get to live. After another year of war and a series of natural disasters, including volcanic eruptions that bury South America in lava, the human population is reduced to around half a billion, who fall to cannibalism. The remnants of the UN-Pentagon flee to bases in Antarctica, bringing in all the supplies, slaves and treasures they can...only to get killed off by some sudden volcanic eruptions.
Finally, after being fed the blood of millions of Russians, zombie Lenin emerges from the ruins of Zurich and roams the planet, killing and eating all remaining humans in about two months. Thus, the world belongs to zombie Lenin.
Apparently this is a saner version of his original vision. The original included the earth's core turning into a ball of spiders, somehow.
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Even if we sanctified each and every molecule of water in the observable universe, we wouldn't be able to get rid of this spawn from Hell.
Absolute bonkers timeline.
Crazymachines
Banned
this map is really asinine to me because iraqi and syrian identity predate sykes picot, and these proposed states are VASTLY more unnatural than the ones we currently haveA proposed division of Syria and Iraq into four states:
Iraq And Syria: Past, Present, And (Hypothetical) Future Maps
The continuing violence in Syria and Iraq has prompted some experts to wonder whether the region's borders might at some point be redrawn. That scenario remains, for now, a remote possibility. But what if?www.rferl.org
I’ve never been a proponent of practicing that holiday, myself. See, if we’d just shown our wives and husbands love on every other day of the year, none of this would have happened.
Good to know that disease respects That Kazakh Border.
Why, then, is most of Russia still under the ownership of the US?
Ah, yes. That’s how that works.
Followed. FOLLOWED.
Remember, you can’t spell ‘ecumenist’ without “teen music,” and as we all know, the music that kids listen to is the work of the devil.
Ah, ignore my question above. You’ve sort of combined periods of this timeline anachronistically in the map. That’s fine.
Everyone is equal, but some are more eaten than others.
It's still odd/wrong that a neutral DID gain territory from the war IMO.