Plausibilty of Jesus In Britain Legend

He who rides a chariot of fire had better wear asbestos pants.

Asbestos footwear seems to me a more pressing requirement.

Jerusalem could not have been written in these days. Health and Safety would have had a field day...

So, a chariot of fire? That would certainly not pass emissions test... put the fire out. Since it is an open vehicle you'll need a safety helmet and lights. You'll need to wear a high visibility jacket.

Plus you cannot go around the streets carrying a sword because of anti-knife legislation. No, you cannot claim a legitimate religious purpose because you're CoE and not a druid or a Jedi, same goes for the bow... Arrows of desire? Fair enough, but pointy things as they are, you'll have to wear safety goggles. And don't forget high-visibility jacket. The shield is OK. But you'll have to wear gloves for possible splinters.

And about building Jerusalem... have you got planning permission, and an environmental impact study?

I'm sorry but the dark, satanic mills are listed buildings and cannot be torn down...
 
Asbestos footwear seems to me a more pressing requirement.

Jerusalem could not have been written in these days. Health and Safety would have had a field day...

So, a chariot of fire? That would certainly not pass emissions test... put the fire out. Since it is an open vehicle you'll need a safety helmet and lights. You'll need to wear a high visibility jacket.

Plus you cannot go around the streets carrying a sword because of anti-knife legislation. No, you cannot claim a legitimate religious purpose because you're CoE and not a druid or a Jedi, same goes for the bow... Arrows of desire? Fair enough, but pointy things as they are, you'll have to wear safety goggles. And don't forget high-visibility jacket. The shield is OK. But you'll have to wear gloves for possible splinters.

And about building Jerusalem... have you got planning permission, and an environmental impact study?

I'm sorry but the dark, satanic mills are listed buildings and cannot be torn down...
I love those comments! They are so siggable! ROFL!

Actually, according to Peter Ackroyd, the legend inspired Blake to write Jerusalem (and other things, like having Milton's Ghost in his left foot helped). I'm not sure what basis they have in fact. (There are lots of weird legends from early Christianity. My parents believe that the Welsh became Baptists thanks to Pudens and Claudia, and that nobody celebrated Easter per se until Augustine forced the Brits to. (In reality, the Celts used a different calendar to pick Easter.))
 
You're making that "classical history scholar's" mistake of assuming pre-Roman Britain was some kind of untamed, uncivilised backwater inhabited entirely by fur wearing, head-hunting savages. Aren't you :p

Actually, the Romans had a thriving trade with the Britons before Claudius.

No, but Hendryk and Leo covered the gist of my statement. Why would Jesus go to a foreign backwater thousands of miles away? I could just easily claim that Mohammed could have spent time in Rome before receiving his visions.
 
I'm not sure why people would be so interested in this. If he did come tho Britian, he obviously didn't leave mcuh of a mark on it's history, and if he did or didn't adds nothing to his own story or the messages that he told, so it really dosen't make a difference.
 

Stephen

Banned
British Israelism is just an attempt to feel a deeper conection to a foreign semitic religion about a bunch of desert nomads and a jew nailed to a stick.
 

terence

Banned
Student Immigrant Scam Exposed!

Isca Dumnoniorum, anno urbis conditae 765 Princips Augustus 19
Dies Lunai

Vigiles in the barbarian country of the Dumnonii have revealed an extensive scam involving the illegal immigration of middle-eastern students with forged credentials.
It is believed that hundreds of young men and boys have entered the country on the pretext of studying at the various Druid Universities, but disappear into the 'Black' economy, forced to provide cheap labour in the tin mines or used as 'mules' in the highly lucrative woad-smuggling business. It is believed that the young men are 'groomed' over a period of time before being promised scholarships in such disciplines as Iambic verse or megalith studies.
StJosephIcon.png

J. Arimathea and Jesus bar Joseph of Nazareth

The head of the student-smuggling ring has been identified as a Palestinian businessman known as Joseph, he is believed to come from the Arimathea region of Judea and have criminal connections in Massilla, Kypros and Rome. Vigiles have released an icon of his likeness pictured with one of his victims, identified as Jesus bar Joseph, also from Palestine.
The Victims's Mother, Miryam Theotokos said from Nazareth that she was frantic with worry as Jesus had just popped out to the shops for some loaves and fishes and he wouldn't have gone far without sending an e-pistle, she said.
Vigiles at an immigrant detention camp in Armorica believe they can identify the victim as they recall seeing him "moving around in a mysterious way".
 
There's a new short documentary film based on a book by Gordon Strachan (no, not that Gordon Strachan) which claims that he did, indeed, spend some time studying in Britain. So... without getting dogmatic about it, how likely is it that this actually happened?

If this guy is so uninformed, I have a piece of the True Cross and an indulgence I'd like to sell him.
 
Student Immigrant Scam Exposed!

Isca Dumnoniorum, anno urbis conditae 765 Princips Augustus 19
Dies Lunai

Vigiles in the barbarian country of the Dumnonii have revealed an extensive scam involving the illegal immigration of middle-eastern students with forged credentials.
It is believed that hundreds of young men and boys have entered the country on the pretext of studying at the various Druid Universities, but disappear into the 'Black' economy, forced to provide cheap labour in the tin mines or used as 'mules' in the highly lucrative woad-smuggling business. It is believed that the young men are 'groomed' over a period of time before being promised scholarships in such disciplines as Iambic verse or megalith studies.
StJosephIcon.png

J. Arimathea and Jesus bar Joseph of Nazareth

The head of the student-smuggling ring has been identified as a Palestinian businessman known as Joseph, he is believed to come from the Arimathea region of Judea and have criminal connections in Massilla, Kypros and Rome. Vigiles have released an icon of his likeness pictured with one of his victims, identified as Jesus bar Joseph, also from Palestine.
The Victims's Mother, Miryam Theotokos said from Nazareth that she was frantic with worry as Jesus had just popped out to the shops for some loaves and fishes and he wouldn't have gone far without sending an e-pistle, she said.
Vigiles at an immigrant detention camp in Armorica believe they can identify the victim as they recall seeing him "moving around in a mysterious way".
:) love it.
Of course, "theotokos" is a bit improbable here...:)
 
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