On the Path to Power, and Beyond: The Autobiography of White House Chief of Staff John Sears

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Introduction:

You know, Nixon was always a dirty son-of-a bitch. Anyone with a decent amount of knowledge about the inner workings of his campaign and admin. knew that he was willing to go to most lengths if it suited him.

It was after I resigned as Deputy [White House] Counsel that I found out, from an associate, that he had this whole 'plumbers' unit who burgled into offices and tapped phones and shit. And by God, now that I think about it, it's a good thing that at the time, no one found out...


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Chapter One:

I remember Kansas City. It was a really hot summer, and the Arena was more packed Miami in `68. But maybe that was just how I felt.

It was a really long primary season. It was just Ron and Ford, and it couldn't have been closer. But I didn't think we'd lose. I mean, for fuck's sake, the guy was the pushover's pushover, the House Minority Leader. I told Ron, "he's lucky to get to the Convention."

We won with nine delegates. Nine. One pundit from wherever said that it took my absolute willpower to restrain myself from lashing out at those bastards, and he was... right.
 
Ah, so I take it Ronnie Reagan did win the '76 Republican nomination.

Let's say he wins the general election. With his instincts more Keynesian, he might handle '79 and '80 stagflation better than Carter did.

And Ronnie heavily campaigned against the pending Panama Canal Treaty, even though it had been in the works since Lyndon Johnson. Most likely there's still time for the executive branch to scuttle the thing (please remember, treaties in the United States require two-thirds approval by the Senate). And most likely Latin American countries will hold it against us and it will hurt trade deals. And most likely Ronnie will pay this price.

Or, maybe one or two respected military leaders will say that with a two-ocean navy there's not really much of a military reason for insisting on total control of the Canal. Besides which it's too small for (?)aircraft carriers anyway. I am not a navy person and don't know all the details. Maybe someone else does.

This will potentially give Ronnie an out. Will be interesting how it plays out.
 
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Chapter Two:
Why Scranton? The better is question is how we got him on-board. The fucker had Pennsylvania in his pocket, and he promised not to run for elected office again. I told Ron, "what the fuck? What the fucking fuck! Doesn't he want to see a three-term Republican presidency! What kind of fucking..."

To be fair, we needed him for more than 27 electoral votes. The guy was in Congress for a bit, and at the time an ambassador. He had more experience than Ron, and we needed to protect ourselves from attacks by the Dems on that front.

I talked to his personal assistant, and I told him "he'll get everything he wants." so the guy then asked for independence on the campaign trail, and some fucking commission on human rights abuses in Paraguay or Uruguay, and biweekly lunches with the Pres., and I said "yes, yes," and the guy had the audacity to say "we'll think about it."

So I went to the Gov's hotel room, and I told him "I'll butt a cigarette on my fucking dick if you will just get off your fucking ass and go out there and accept that fucking VP nomination!" and he gulped and said, "OK."

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Chapter Three:
My mood lightened up when I turned on the TV and say the headline "Jimmy Carter Nominated For Pres." I just laughed, and when I called Ron I couldn't stop laughing. "Governor, we're at war with a peanut farmer!"

I was kind of surprised... kind of, when the Georgia idiot chose Church for VP. That was a smart move, but it kind of worked out for us: I mean, Ron was already fairly conservative, to say the least, but with that liberal a ticket, we could sweep a few conservative and moderate Dems, a few of whom wouldn't have given us the time of day beforehand.

You know, Paul Wolfowitz once told me that Jackson considered not competing in Iowa or New Hampshire, and a few of his staff talked him out of it. And sure enough, he came... second in Iowa and third in New Hampshire. And sure enough he didn't win the nomination. And sure enough, that had nothing to do with him endorsing Ron that summer. I guess it was just worth mentioning.
 
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Chapter Four:
We didn't really know where to start. Someone from Scranton's staff suggested that we "moderate" our tone, try to keep the Ford base in check. We really didn't need to hit their talking points. The Rockefeller Reps, as much as they disliked us, wouldn't vote for Carter. And if we wanted, we could always point to Wallace and the other fringe politicians out there.

What we really wanted was a debate, and we didn't even try to hide it. Ron was an awesome communicator, while Carter was... awkward. For fuck's sake, the guy looked uncomfortable half the time.

That didn't help the fact that Ron, or any Republican for that matter, was viewed as a Nixon remnant by the general public. Of course, then Carter went into that whole Playboy assfuck and all of the doors blew wide open.

I met with Hamilton Jordan in Washington, and we agreed on three debates: in Philly on domestic issues, in San Francisco on foreign/defense issues, in Williamsburg on all issues. Scranton and Church entered into one debate in Houston, which was a victory for the Dems, but Ron pretty much trounced Carter all three times.

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Chapter Five:
It was at the end of October when I saw a map of all the states, and I thought this is too close for my taste. We didn't appeal to any broad majority, we appealed to conservatives: a stronger defense, tax cuts, deregulation.

The same thing with Carter. They kept the same overall tone of the campaign: openness, healing, other shit. But his policy positions shifted more to the left, day by day, bit by bit. By the first of November, he was calling for pardoning draft dodgers and dismantling half of the nuclear arsenal or something of the like. I didn't need to pay attention.

Once the Second came, we were in LA. The team was split into thirds: one was checking in with the results, one was checking in with the local Party leaders and rally organizers, and the third was damage control on standby.

For that night, I really thought we'd need them. I was shuffling around, and so Ron told me to read a book. So I took one, with the purpose of eventually shredding it with my bare hands. And I saw a chapter on the 1824 election, when no one scored an electoral college so it was left to the House. And I knew that would be a battle that we would not win.

And so, I was sitting around like a real motherfucker, staring blankly at the fucking wall. I kept telling myself to do something, but the last time I checked in with the guys on the phone they gave me an extremely hostile gaze, so I made myself scarce.

And when the final results came in on CBS, I breathed in as the guys outside cheered. A fucking tear almost rolled out my eye, because we'd done it. We'd fucking done it. And we were there to stay for a while.
 
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Chapter Six:

When we went into the White House, I told the Pres., "we're going to do a lot of shit here." and the Pres. "politely" ignored me as he entered the Oval Office, and read the letter than Nixon left on his desk.

I remember Carter's concession speech: "The people have made their decision, and I will respect that." fucking asshole of fucking "reconciliation." he was a sore loser just as anybody else, and he moped all through the Inauguration ceremony.

Getting the Cabinet through was not the easiest task, considering that both Houses of Congress were controlled by the Dems since 1955. We decided to get a few moderates, to keep the libs tepidly content.

So me and the Pres., after a long and not-so-scholarly debate, agreed on a mixed Cabinet: Brooke at the HUD, Friedman at Treasury, Fogel at Commerce, Rumsfeld at Defense, Schultz at State. Brzezinski was made NSA, and Bush stayed on at Central Intelligence.

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Chapter Seven:

During the Pres.' first press conference in office, some new guy on the Press Corps, Woodward, asked if we are considering building solar panels on the White House, as suggested by some lib think tank in New York or Cali or wherever they were getting their orange tans. The Pres. just told him "if you want to put five times more on one fifth the product, that's your own business."

The Pres. saw the ESA as, well, not so much as hippie legislation impeding progress but... well, that. So he told us, "Fix it." I got in Watt, a pro-development lawyer, to find a way to amend the Act so that we could drill without outright repealing it. So he said, "if you want to find oil without hurting birds, then don't look for oil in Louisiana."
 
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Chapter Eight:
The Pres. asked me to go, along with Schultz to Peking in May of `77 to talk with Guofeng on establishing diplomatic relations. Before we left, Barry called and demanded to know why were appeasing the Chinese Reds, and I assured him that this was part of our anti-Soviet strategy. I moved him to the Pres., and he repeated it, but I think that Goldwater trusted us a bit less since then.

The trip went smoothly, but didn't pan out as successfully as we wanted. We got to see the Forbidden City and all that shit, as well as get diarrhea, but otherwise we didn't get anything done on anything else the Pres., and by extension myself, wanted: defense coop., trade relations, etc. All that was assured was that the new Sino-American relationship would be preserved and expanded under the Reagan admin.

As the Pres. mentioned during his State of the Union, we were not going to abandon Taiwan. This kept our base in line, but Taipei couldn't have been madder. They expected a fiercely anti-Communist line from Reagan, not this Nixon pragmatism. I told their fucking rep. in Washington, "you'll get your F-5s and Pattons, no matter what happens."

I just wished that those fuckers could have understood that it was Moscow which was our primary enemy, and that sometimes you do have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. The dish being, in the case, the end of fucking Soviet despotism in Eastern Europe!

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Chapter Nine:
In March, we submitted to Congress a new DoD budget. Our original version was heavily revised by the Joint Chiefs, but the Pres. didn't care. They knew what they were doing, and there was nothing wrong with adding to our military expenditures.

The Dems didn't like it one bit, and O'Neill personally told me "the federal government will sit on their asses for as long as you keep bringing this up." the Pres. was quite unsatisfied, and basically told me to tell the Speaker the opposite thing.

The problem was, though, the Dems would always spin it on us. People weren't interested in a shutdown, and in the case that happened they could always show old fuckers waiting outside for their Social Security checks "because Reagan wanted more missiles."

"Cut it by two percent overall," I'd say. The Pres. would proceed to put down his pen, walk into the other room, and hand me a cardboard box. "It will calm down the Dems without significantly affecting this budget." and he'd just say, "no."

So we brought it down to one and a half percent on all heavy-arms purchases and two percent on small-arms purchases, and the app. bill passed by a decisive margin. O'Neill, however, was not very happy and warned me that "there'd be consequences." that East-Coast fucker didn't know whom he was dealing with.

As promised, the Pres. decided to be more aggressive. He deployed Pershing 1's to West Germany, based at Ramstein but already authorized Rumsfeld and the Joint Chiefs to begin plans for a mobile defense system to carry them. The Soviet ambassador relayed that his government was "displeased" with our policies in Europe, and we told him that we were displeased with his policies in Europe.

Sure enough, a couple months after our move, a mole within the Kremlin, whom Bush referred to as BOURBON, told us that the Soviets were operating a base in Vogelsang, in the something-region of the GDR, where they were now deploying a set of their own intermediate range warheads. And the Pres. said, "Just now?"
 
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Chapter Ten:
During the election, but especially the primaries, Ron promised never to give up the Canal. It helped to distinguish him from Ford as the 'true conservative,' but we didn't win by that much anyways, at Kansas City or in November. Now that we had a real job to do, it was harder to know what to do.

Torrijos, on Panamanian state television, assured his people that one way or the other, he will gain control of the Canal from the "Washington bureaucrat." we did not immediately assume he threatened war or anything of the sort, but... well, the fucker said that one way or the other, he's going to get control of the Canal!

During a Cabinet meeting, Rumsfeld suggested that we deploy a battalion of the Fourth Infantry to the Canal Zone, show that we're serious. Shultz did not care for the idea of brinksmanship on this front one bit, and advised the President and hold his ground and no more.

In September of `77, I flew down to Panama City on the Pres.' behalf, and met with the bastard. I told him in the plain English, Spanish, and Esperanto, "no." but his fucking brain just wouldn't... process it, so I had to go back to Washington and tell the Pres., "sorry, sir, he won't budge."

I flew back down there a month later, with an offer drafted by Schultz and signed off on by the Pres. The idea was that the Zone would be demilitarized and placed under joint custody, forty percent of whatever revenue comes from fees on Canal shipping would be paid to the Panamanians, but we'd retain overall control. Torrijos said that it was "acceptable," but he'd have to "sleep on it."

The next day, he said that he was going to accept it on the condition that the Zone would be transferred to complete Panamanian control by 2002. I relayed this to the Pres., who reiterated that "it's our original offer or no offer." it took a lot of drinking and smoking with that fucker to finally get him to agree to our original terms.

The Pres. and Torrijos signed the Treaty on Sovereignty Regarding the Panama Canal and Panama Canal Zone, or simply the Panama Canal Compromise, at the White House Lawn on April 9, 1978. A lot of cons were unhappy that we were even considering talking with a left-leaning "supreme leader," while libs were unhappy that we didn't go far enough. What a good... fucking good day we had.
 
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Chapter Eleven:
The Derg were some sick fuckers. Most Commies were, though. Lenin and Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Mariam: different countries, different times, but the same sort of bastards that could make Donald vomit.

It was interesting how the East African scene shifted. I mean, the Intelligence community was shocked when Stalin renounced Tito, and the whole fucking world when China broke off with Moscow. But two countries just... switching sides?

When the war broke out in July of `77, we were already budding up to Mogadishu, while North Koreans and East Germans were landing at Addis Ababa. Frankly, I didn't give a shit about a piece of landlocked land, and I told the Somali rep "neither should you."

But business was business, so Rumsfeld, Brzezinski, and Bush set up a "Somaliland Action Group," which I felt was a bit much. Really, all we wanted was for them to arrange shipping routes for arm transports, airlifts or whatever, but they set up plans for SAD/SOG black ops and that type of shit.

The Ethiopians wanted to counterattack, and according to BOURBON the Cuban advisors would participate. So we decided to deploy a small, contingency force which would play no role in the combat: there presence would, hopefully, hold back the Cubans from moving.

It worked. The Derg leadership announced that they would not seek to expel any Somali units from Ogaden, and the Somali gov responded with withdrawing any of their troops from beyond that region in Ethiopia.

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Chapter Twelve:
The hell for empires. That was one place I'd hoped we would not have had to deal with. But we backed the wrong guy, or at least good old Rich did, which is why in 1978 we had to watch yet another Communist group seize power.

The only viable opposition group were the Islamists. Islamabad and Riyadh were more than willing to finance them, if we would provide the "supplies." Brzezinski was the most vocal supporter of this option, but he had this whole "grand scheme" for the fall of the Soviet Union.

Apparently, the surfacing of a large-scale insurgency in Afghanistan would force the Red Army to intervene, drawing them into a Vietnam in Central Asia, which would eventually lead to the end of Communism. The Pres. was... enamored, but skeptical as we all were.

Eventually, we decided to authorize a trial run: $50,000,000 for the insurgents, over the next two years, and transported via Pakistan rather than airlifted over Afghanistan. To skirt Congress, who wouldn't approve, we decided to move it from whatever DoD projects that were effectively defunct, without officially shutting them down, which would've led to a Senate inquiry.

 
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Chapter Thirteen:
During our first day in the White House, the Pres. met with the V.P. and they got to talking about Latin America. The V.P. was "concerned" about human rights and shit like that, and asked the Pres. to stop supporting Pinochet and Videla, or at least look into the way their gov's were behaving.

We didn't need to. Fact of the matter was, these guys were egotistical mass murderers... who improved their countries' living standards significantly. Chile became the fucking second most competitive countries in all of the motherfucking Americas! We were supposed to stop supporting them so that a bunch of college students could take over and run their economies into the ground?

I've got to admit, though, even though we had the Family Jewels and a bunch of fucked-up ops, those people's intelligence services were Gestapo's on steroids. DINA butchered I don't know how many fucking dissidents, including one on American soil! But hey, we were allies, and allies make sacrifices.

Bolivia was a mess, though. There were more factions than I could count, but it didn't matter because no one was really powerful enough to last very long, except for Banzer. The Cartels were only ones who could hold their ground.

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Chapter Fourteen:
Begin was a real son-of-a bitch nationalistic fucker. But thankfully, he was more reasonable than some of the others in his country, especially his Party. And he was also a centrist, which was... usually a plus.

Same thing with Sadat. Boy, the `70s were just the age of pragmatism, weren't they? Some people like to look down on the whole concept, but I beg to differ. In that mindset, anyone can look beyond primal prejudices and really get stuff done.

At first, it looked like the two were doing fine on their own. Sadat visited Jerusalem and gave a speech before the Knesset, a revolutionary move on it's own. We never really cared about Mideast peace, nor did we want to get ourselves into that whole affair.

For some fucking reason, Sadat flew to Vienna where he met with that asshole, Peres. What a fucking sore loser! That sort of shook things up between the Israeli PM and the Egyptian Pres., but, again, we had no reason to dip our toes in this deep shit.

Regardless, Begin came over on a state visit in August of `78. We talked to him about CIA-Mossad sharing, trade relations, but most of all the peace process. He tried to be casual, "promising" to "engage in fruitful negotiations" in the next few years. We told him that we need something we could touch. I think he failed to realize that the Middle East wasn't just about Jews and Arabs anymore. It was about Soviet troops right outside Turkey and Iran, and Baghdad and Damascus warming up to Moscow.

But in our point of view, a peace treaty was not necessary so long as the two were not in pre fighting mode, which meant we didn't have to choose sides. The oil would keep coming in, and our warships could go through the Red Sea without fear.
 
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