Most Embarassing ways Hitler and Stalin can die

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MadDog

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Post that most embarasing ways hitler can die.

Personally i think
Stalin Dying of Alcohol poisoning would be embarasing

as for Hitler what about dying at Bergow ? could sheep barrel hitler over the edge ?
 

iVC

Donor
Just slip and break their necks during party rallies would be embarrassing enough.

There are myriads of possibilities for everyone to die in some stupid way: i.e. choking with pen cap while writing something lately in the night.
 
From Robert Service's *Stalin: A Biography* (Harvard UP 2005), pp. 480-1:

"The day set aside to celebrate the triumph over Nazism was 24 June 1945. There was to be a parade on Red Square in front of tens of thousands of spectators. Victorious regiments which had returned from Germany and eastern Europe were to march in triumph before the Kremlin Wall. It was put to Stalin that he should take pride of place, riding a white horse in the traditional Russian mode. (This was how Russia's generals had headed military parades through Tbilisi.) An Arab steed was found which Stalin tried to mount. The result was humiliation. Stalin gave the stallion an inappropriate jab with his spurs. The stallion reared up. Stalin, grabbing the mane ineffectually, was thrown to the ground. He injured his
head and shoulder and was in a vile mood as he got to his feet. Spitting in anger, he declared, 'Let Zhukov lead the parade. He's an old cavalryman.'"

OK, let's say that the fall had been harder, and had actually killed Stalin. Better still, let the rehearsal go fine--and let Stalin be killed by a fall from the horse in full view of the world at the victory parade...

(I have my doubts about the story. On page 651, Service gives his source as Zhukov's *Vospominaniya i razmyshleniya*, vol. 3, p. 308, adding that Zhukov's information came from Stalin's son Vasily. Given Vasily's drinking habits, I'm not sure how reliable a source he was, even assuming Zhukov recorded what he said accurately...)
 
Hitler, during a break in a meeting at the Kehlsteinhouse, slips and falls hundreds of feet.

Stalin, weeks later, doesn't see a small twig in his favorite pair of platform shoes. He is pricked on his left foot, which soon becomes infected, and kills him.
 

iVC

Donor
There was one episode in Stalin's biography which took place during his struggle with Trotsky.
Trotsky remembered that during the siege of Tsaritsyn he was in feud with Stalin and quarrels were happening quite often.

During one of this quarrels young adjutant of Trotsky actually unsheathed his cavalry saber and leaned it over Stalin's neck along with crying threats.
Trotsky and others were quick to intervene and some time later Stalin offered bizarre idea of settling the antic: so Trotsky forced his minion to shave Stalin with this saber in order to resolve this incident.
Stalin was unfaltering, adjutant's hand was strong and precise so all of this just ended as a bad joke.

But imagine the curiosity of possible tremor in the hand...
 
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For Hitler: Dying of a genetic disorder that is exclusively Ashkenazi.

It couldn't be exclusively Ashkenazi, the gene would not refuse to pass itself onto someone who was not raised Jewish or who converted, and so it would and did spread. An allele can spread independently of other traits through a population, such the nature of sexual selection.

But yeah, dying of a condition which would prove Hitler almost certainly had some Jewish ancestry would be embarrassing for him.
 
From Robert Service's *Stalin: A Biography* (Harvard UP 2005), pp. 480-1:

"The day set aside to celebrate the triumph over Nazism was 24 June 1945. There was to be a parade on Red Square in front of tens of thousands of spectators. Victorious regiments which had returned from Germany and eastern Europe were to march in triumph before the Kremlin Wall. It was put to Stalin that he should take pride of place, riding a white horse in the traditional Russian mode. (This was how Russia's generals had headed military parades through Tbilisi.) An Arab steed was found which Stalin tried to mount. The result was humiliation. Stalin gave the stallion an inappropriate jab with his spurs. The stallion reared up. Stalin, grabbing the mane ineffectually, was thrown to the ground. He injured his
head and shoulder and was in a vile mood as he got to his feet. Spitting in anger, he declared, 'Let Zhukov lead the parade. He's an old cavalryman.'"

OK, let's say that the fall had been harder, and had actually killed Stalin. Better still, let the rehearsal go fine--and let Stalin be killed by a fall from the horse in full view of the world at the victory parade...

(I have my doubts about the story. On page 651, Service gives his source as Zhukov's *Vospominaniya i razmyshleniya*, vol. 3, p. 308, adding that Zhukov's information came from Stalin's son Vasily. Given Vasily's drinking habits, I'm not sure how reliable a source he was, even assuming Zhukov recorded what he said accurately...)

Another possibility, to quote an old post of mine (with one correction):

***
In 1943 Stalin made his only wartime "visit to the front", supposedly to monitor the progress of the campaign. Robert Service describes it as follows in his *Stalin: A Biography* (Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP 2005), pp. 456-7:

"When he got to within thirty or forty miles of active hostilities, he was greeted by military commanders on the Minsk Chaussée who advised him that they could not guarantee his safety if he travelled further. Stalin must have known that they would say this. This was the nearest he approached to any point of direct action in the war. He never saw a shot fired. But he made much of the conversation with his commanders and, after due display of disappointment, returned to the Kremlin. Much was made of the journey in official propaganda. *Pravda* reported it as if Stalin really had reached the front and given much needed orders on strategy and tactics to the frontal command.

"Mikoyan told a less flattering tale of the journey. 'Stalin himself,' he wrote, 'was not the bravest of men.' Allegedly Stalin, as he talked with commanders, felt an urgent call of nature. Mikoyan speculated that it might have been mortal fear rather than the normal effects of digestion. Stalin anyway needed to go somewhere fast. He asked about the bushes by the roadside, but the generals--whose troops had not long before liberated the zone from German occupation--could not guarantee that landmines had not been left behind. 'At that point,' Mikoyan recorded with memorable precision, 'the Supreme Commander in sight of everyone dropped his trousers and did his business on the asphalt. This completed his 'reconnoitring of the front' and he went straight back to Moscow." (In a footnote, Service gives his source as Mikoyan's *Tak bylo: Razmyshleniya o minuvshem*, Moscow, 1999.)

OK, the POD here is that Stalin bolts for the bushes *before* the generals have a chance to warn him, and then...BOOM!

The next day of course *Pravda* prints a headline about how Comrade Stalin died a heroic death at the front...but what then?
 
Auto-erotic asphyxiation counts as an embarassing death.

And both Hitler and Stalin were known to be a bit odd with their sex lives, with creepy controlling behavior of women that were young enough for it to be scandalous. This is a trait that often is associated with desire for erotic asphyxiation, as the notion of control is paramount.
 
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Another possibility, to quote an old post of mine (with one correction):

***
In 1943 Stalin made his only wartime "visit to the front", supposedly to monitor the progress of the campaign. Robert Service describes it as follows in his *Stalin: A Biography* (Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP 2005), pp. 456-7:

"When he got to within thirty or forty miles of active hostilities, he was greeted by military commanders on the Minsk Chaussée who advised him that they could not guarantee his safety if he travelled further. Stalin must have known that they would say this. This was the nearest he approached to any point of direct action in the war. He never saw a shot fired. But he made much of the conversation with his commanders and, after due display of disappointment, returned to the Kremlin. Much was made of the journey in official propaganda. *Pravda* reported it as if Stalin really had reached the front and given much needed orders on strategy and tactics to the frontal command.

"Mikoyan told a less flattering tale of the journey. 'Stalin himself,' he wrote, 'was not the bravest of men.' Allegedly Stalin, as he talked with commanders, felt an urgent call of nature. Mikoyan speculated that it might have been mortal fear rather than the normal effects of digestion. Stalin anyway needed to go somewhere fast. He asked about the bushes by the roadside, but the generals--whose troops had not long before liberated the zone from German occupation--could not guarantee that landmines had not been left behind. 'At that point,' Mikoyan recorded with memorable precision, 'the Supreme Commander in sight of everyone dropped his trousers and did his business on the asphalt. This completed his 'reconnoitring of the front' and he went straight back to Moscow." (In a footnote, Service gives his source as Mikoyan's *Tak bylo: Razmyshleniya o minuvshem*, Moscow, 1999.)

OK, the POD here is that Stalin bolts for the bushes *before* the generals have a chance to warn him, and then...BOOM!

The next day of course *Pravda* prints a headline about how Comrade Stalin died a heroic death at the front...but what then?

Couldn't he have just sent some aids to stomp through the bushes first?
 
Stalin and Co decide to travel to the front and fail to see a thin string of piano wire as they approach.

Stalin is found in his private theater smiling as a young lady runs out quietly.

Stalin has a screaming episode over the "incompetence" of someone and dies of a heart attack.

Stalin's car crashes as he flees Moscow for 'solace' just after Barbarossa, killing him before help arrives.

Hitler reaches Paris and chokes on a baguette *or* while leading the beer hall putsch chokes on a pretzel.

Hitler dies in a car crash on the Autobahn.

Hitler is overdosed by his physician shortly before a speech, makes an idiot of himself on live national radio in front of a huge audience, and dies of a seizure shortly thereafter complete with bladder and bowel failure.

Hitler's physician leaves an injectible sedative next a similar-looking bottle of either pure rubbing alcohol or sulfa antibiotic.
 
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