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"Mary Whitehouse will never accept this" : A Dr Who Production History (Inspired by Guajolote)

"Who are you?" demands the Doctor
Merlin places his hands on a panel on the TARDIS console and beckons the Doctor to do the same on his side.
"Contact" says Arthur
"Contact" replies the Doctor.

A telepathic link between The Doctor, Arthur and the TARDIS is triggered. The Doctor is assailed by memories

He and Arthur were agents of the Celestial Intervention Agency charged with eliminating any threat to the High Council...including the Doctor's family. Both of them were exiled to Ancient Earth with their minds wiped but somehow were able to recover. The Time Lords captured the Doctor, returned to Gallifey and was re-loomed. Arthur was able to escape

The link ends and the Doctor collapses to the floor in tears, Arthur picks him up and places him on a chair.

"I'm sorry old friend, but you had to know the truth" Says Arthur. "I ripped out the tracker on my TARDIS and used some of its power to change it into the castle with the Round Table room as the console room"

The Doctor looks at Arthur and gasps

"Why did I come here, why did My TARDIS arrive here?"

"From what I can guess the telepathic circuits of your TARDIS must have linked with your partially recovered memories of your time with the CID and knew you and Leela were in danger so tried to find some sanctuary. It also knew that the Time-Lords would try and track you down again. When you rematerialised in the courtyard my TARDIS must have warned your TARDIS and that is why it shut down. My TARDIS is generating a temporal and spatial displacement field placing it and us one microsecond out of sync with space-time. Outside the castle the field doesn't work and if anyone set foot outside then we would be either tracked or fade away."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"In your previous incarnation? When we fought the Master and the Rani I knew that the telepathic forces of our minds would start to slowly unlock your memories of your time with the CID. I knew that If I told you the truth then either you wouldn't believe me or that the damage to your mind would kill you. I had to prepare you for that"

"And leave Rassilon to do the rest"

"Rassillon was the controller of the CID. A ruthless evil man. I always thought power would be his undoing"

"You say I'm known as Merlin. What was...."

"My name, again think back to the old time. The Fathers of Gallifrey. Rassillon, Omega and...the Other"
"The Other....you can't be. You don't exist. You're a myth"
"If I'm a myth then why am I standing here? My role on Gallifrey was as a kind of threat, almost like the boogeyman on Earth. But my real task was as field commander of the CID. I had a direct link to the Matrix and would keep the CID updated on missions. I was one of the last Gallifreyans to be able to reproduce but my family were killed during the war with the Pythia. I worked to forget my pain. The Time-Lords couldn't afford to wipe my mind so the link to the matrix was used to pacify my mind in some ways similar to the psychotropic drugs used on Earth"

The Doctor nods but is unable to comprehend what he has been told. Leela and Guinevere enter the console room. Arthur calls Lancelot to take the Doctor back to his bedchamber. Leela is told by Arthur and Guinevere what has happened.

Several days later. The Doctor is walking along the castle ramparts trying to absorb both his old memories and what Arthur has told him. Leela joins him and get the Doctor to open up about his family. He says that he wasn't popular with them due to being the youngest. The only member of his family that he got on with was his cousin Innocet who was "very kind" to him.

Looking out over the countryside they notice some kind of movement. They call over Lancelot who takes one glance and orders the Doctor and Leela down. The party enters the round table room and Lancelot informs Arthur that the Picts have landed...
The Doctor, Leela, Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot are in the round table room discussing the situation. Its a raiding party of 100 or so picts. Arthur theorises that they are trying to ascertain Camelot's defences. Arthur instructs Lancelot to ready perimeter whilst Guinevere and Leela leave for a more secure area.

Arthur tells the Doctor that the TARDIS' displacement
field generator is failing and he is worried. The Doctor has an idea. If he can link both TARDIS'es together then the XIX model could generate its own field around most of the Camelot TARDIS. Arthur agrees but the picts must be repelled first. He has a idea...
Through the night as the picts approach The Doctor and Merlin work together to modify both TARDIS to create a set of portable field generators which can be worn on the wrist whilst at the same time using what is available in "Merlin's workshop" to create a chemical concoction to act as a weapon.

Before dawn Arthur's troops are equipped with the generators with Arthur saying that they are part of Merlin's magic whilst the Doctor smiles and remembers Arthur C Clarke's rule:

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic

The troops leave the castle with strict instructions not to engage until the Picts are up close as the generators don't have a wide range. The Picts arrive and demand the surrender of the castle. Arthur refuses and the battle begins. The Picts put up a strong fight but the combination of the guards own abilities plus the "fireballs" created by the chemical reactions means that the battle is short-lived. The Picts flee...

Later that day the Doctor returns to his "workshop" with Leela when suddenly his TARDIS materialises inside and merges with the workshop to create a fusion of old and new technology.

"It looks like we're staying then eh old girl" says the Doctor. A series of bleeps and hums seems to indicate a response. The Doctor knows now that he has to start trying to mount some kind of rebellion against the Time-Lords. Not just out of his desire to make things right but also out of a sense of redemption for himself.

Approaching the communications circuit he makes the following transmission:

"This is The Doctor calling all the free peoples of Gallifrey. For millennia we have been lied to and deceived by the High Council and we have lost our true place in the universe and we have fallen, now we must rise. I call upon all those who are against the council to stand with me and oppose their tyranny. Wherever you are, whenever you are I call on you to unite and build resistance for it is the only way we will reclaim our birthright"...

Just occured to me- Camelot is quite far in the north of Britain then or those Picts are a long way south...

That control room seems like an expensive set!
Just occured to me- Camelot is quite far in the north of Britain then or those Picts are a long way south...

That control room seems like an expensive set!
No-one is sure whether Camelot existed or even Arthur himself. The legends surrounding them are obviously based on conjecture and hearsay. Some of the references I've used are:

So a bit of creative licence is required.

As for the set. Well its amazing what some plywood and lights can do! :biggrin:
"You said to Rik when he told you he'd got the role of Doctor Who 'pull your trousers up I'm not kissing it' but you then said you were worried about him, why?"

"I was worried about him because of the huge pressure that he'd be under. If you're Doctor Who then you have one of the biggest gigs on British TV and Film and I'm sure Michael will agree with me on that. Rik Mayall became famous being a twat but as the Doctor he had to show other sides to him, sides which I rarely saw and I think that the reason why he was so successful was because of the role that Paul Jackson the producer played. Paul has that ability to bring out the best from people and with Rik he brought out some incredible depth. Paul is a very modest man but I think Rik's era was the success it was because of Paul's presence.

"Michael's nodding there, when you took over as James Bond did you have a similar notion?"

"Yes and no, Obviously Bond and Who have similar profiles but with Bond there was less exposure over a longer time. Rik was in the show for three years and the movies were released closer together but as Adrian said a strong production team can work wonders.."

(The Graham Norton Show with Adrian Edmondson and Michael Sheen)
Michael Sheen as Bond?


I can actually see that.
Birthright By Ben Aaronovitch

It's been six months since the Doctor and Leela began their exile at Camelot. The Doctor has adapted to his surroundings even donning a cloak and growing a beard to make him more "Merlin like". Leela has struggled but has found a sounding board with Guinevere.

The Doctor has spent most of his time trying to use a fusion of medieval and time-lord technology to over-ride the block that the Pythia placed on the Timelords' ability to reproduce. Arthur has tried to help where he can by donating some of his DNA but its the fact that Camelot and everything and everyone within is existing a microsecond out of sync with the rest of the Universe that is the issue. The "bracelets" that have been cobbled together rely on the two TARDIS' for their power and that power is limited. The "Camelot TARDIS" in particular is failing.

The Doctor is getting increasingly
frustrated and is isolating himself from Leela more and more who is becoming distressed.
Arthur holds a banquet for The Doctor, Leela and the knights as an attempt to smooth tensions but the Doctor talks about nothing but over-riding the block and not having any contact with any other Time-Lords.

Leela snaps and berates the Doctor for being so obsessed and ignoring her. She tearfully asks Arthur if he can use his TARDIS to take her back to 1985.
Arthur says he can't because that would drain too much power and take the field generator offline leaving them visible to attack. Leela storms off and the banquet comes to an end.

Later that evening the Doctor is in his bedchamber when Guinevere enters. She tells him that he is being selfish. The Doctor replies that he must do something to make up for what damage he did as a CID member.

Guinevere says:

It's not me you have to tell. It's Leela.

The following morning after a restless night the Doctor goes to Leela's bedchamber and apologises profusely for letting her down. Leela is unsympathetic and says she knows Guinevere has spoken to him.

The Doctor says:

"Throughout all my lives, all my regenerations I've known what is right. I've incurred the wrath of so many people, so many races, destroyed so much and left so many dead because I knew what I was doing was right. And now I know that that sense of right, that sense of justice was my attempt to salve my own conscience because of what my own people, my OWN PEOPLE did to me. Daleks, Cybermen, Sonatarans. They still in the nursery compared to the Time-Lords. Billions of years, that's what it takes to become truly evil.

I never settled down, never knew what it was like to be truly happy. The Doctor, the wonderful Time-Lord. I've lost everything I ever cared for. I've pushed so many people away. Susan, Jo, Sarah-Jane. Lethbridge-Stewart once called be a pompous old fool and he was right because I had this mindset that I was right about everything.

That's not true. Ive been wrong about many things, made so many mistakes and lost so many good people and now its happening again. Leela I am so, so sorry"

The Doctor bursts into tears and runs out of the bedchamber followed by Leela. He races towards his TARDIS....
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The Doctor enters the Tardis and immediately starts opening panels on the console. Leela races in after him and asks what he's doing. The Doctor replies he's going to override the dematerialisation lock so he can take her home.

The Doctor presses buttons and flicks switches but to no avail. The TARDIS simply won't budge. A second attempt causes the central console to power down. An enraged Doctor goes to a roundel and opens it revealing a hammer. Leela
stands in front of him and begs him to calm down but the Doctor growls:

"Get out of my way Leela"

She moves and the doctor hits the console repeatedly which in return emits an electrical charge which momentarily stuns the Doctor. This leaves him incandescent. He raises the hammer high over his head and is just about to bring it down when Arthur enters the TARDIS and knocks the doctor out with a blow to the back of the head. Lancelot, Guinevere and a couple of soldiers enter and take the Doctor out.

Leela is crouching in the corner of the room sobbing. Guinevere calls a lady in waiting in and they escort her out.

Several hours later the Doctor awakes in his bedchamber with the door locked and two guards outside. Arthur also knows Venusian Akido. The door opens and Arthur enters with a mixture in a bowl made in the apothecary.

The Doctor takes the mixture, his face ashen.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

Meanwhile Guinevere and Leela each with a bracelet are walking in the forest. Leela is still upset and in shock. She knows the Doctor isn't like that normally. She blames herself for his attempting to destroy the console. Guinevere says that she mustn't blame herself.

"All of us have our anger, our dark-sides. Most of the time we can control it. You keep forgetting that he isn't human, he has taken it upon himself to right wrongs across time and space and that is not something that one man should and can do. It was the CID that was responsible for that and it is that which has unleashed his anger. You are right that the Doctor isn't like that normally. He is trapped, not just here but in his own mind and when that happens we don't think clearly, we don't..."

Suddenly Guinevere collapses. Leela calls for help.

In the Round Table rooms Arthur and the Doctor are discussing the same issues when Lancelot enters saying that Guinevere is sick. The trio race to their bedchamber where Guinevere is in bed being attended to by a lady in waiting who tells them that Guinevere is pregnant.

The Doctor is shocked. How is that possible? Arthur is a Time-Lord. How can...

Guinevere beckons the Doctor over to the bed and takes his hand.

"You were nice to me too"

The Doctor is stunned.