Map Thread XIX

[Karlmarx900]

The following scenario is not meant to be realistic and is just a story and nothing more I do not support any of what is depicted in this scenario. understood?:
An Islamophobic, anti-Semitic person who disliked east and southeast Asians came to power in the united states. After a major crisis India and Pakistan engaged in nuclear war and both states were destroyed. A nuclear winter set in and this caused a famine which caused upwards of one billion deaths due to famine and the resulting wars over food and arable land and the fall of the PRC due to revolution and civil war. Meanwhile in America the president used the crisis to establish a totalitarian dictatorship and prepared the country for war and establish an alliance with Russia which later Joined the western bloc. America's western European allies prepared for war as well. A few short years later the United States nuked mecca, Medina and major cities in the Islamic world. Shortly afterward American forces invaded Arabia, Iran, Southeast Asia, Africa and Venezuela. Meanwhile in the US large extermination camps were built to begin the extermination of Muslims, people of southeastern Asians and Jews who were exterminated in what was called the second holocaust. America's wars in Africa, Southeast Asia, the Middle East and Iran was successful in no small part to the use of nuclear weapons, carpet bombing and the resulting famine. While China was in civil war the USA annexed Manchuria and Mexico. With western and Russian aid much of the Manchurian population was deported and because of the nuclear a significant portion of the Chinese population died. Hundreds of millions died as a result of the nuclear winter. After the atomic winter The western bloc was the undisputed hegemon of the world. Brazil joined the western bloc and annexed large portions of Africa.

Data about the character who came to power:
Name: Diane Murphy

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour: black

Height: 5 ft

Talents: combat, engineering, science, programming, creation of almost any kind of technology in the universe, wilderness survival, farming, military and political strategy

Extremely skilled at: combat, engineering, science, programming, creation of almost any kind of technology in the universe, wilderness survival, farming, military and political strategy, propaganda, biology, physics, math, chemistry, mechanics

Ideology: Totalitarianism, capitalism, nationalism, progressivism

characteristics: genius-level intelligence, photographic memory, islamophobia, anti-Semitism, Sinophobia, dislike of east and southeast Asians.

 

[Falkanner]

...and this caused a famine which caused upwards of one billion deaths...

...A few short years later the United States nuked mecca, Medina and major cities in the Islamic world...

...Meanwhile in the US large extermination camps were built to begin the extermination of Muslims, people of southeastern Asians and Jews who were exterminated...

...much of the Manchurian population was deported and because of the nuclear a significant portion of the Chinese population died. Hundreds of millions died as a result of the nuclear winter...

Well, yikes...

 

[Entrerriano]

Crossposting from the Telephone Map Game:

Ladies, and Gentlemen! I present to you:

LIST Nº 3 OF THE TELEPHONE MAP GAME

Spoiler

Number 1: Selvetrica

“I have never really made a non-worlda map so I had a lot of anxiety going first. I decided to try my hand at making a colonial empire for my favorite country Venice.”

Number 2: Reepicheep

No write-up yet

Number 3: gerhardqwe

“I took the game as an opportunity to create my first non Worlda map, so I wanted to make a style of map I liked and knew I could do myself, namely a map where only one nation and its colonies are shown. The last map showed a very different South American colonialism, so Europe had to be quite different. What caught my eye the most was the giant ex-Bohemian colony, so I figured they had to be a lot stronger player ttl and made a map set at their high point.”

Number 4: Entrerriano

“So I received a map from depicting the Archduchy of Bohemia and its colonial empire before “The Fire of New Prague”. So I thought to myself, the Fire must have been a critical point for the whole Empire, since it marked a before and after. So I figured that New Prague would be the “capital” of the South American colonies. The Fire would ignite (no pun intended) a revolution in the northern part of the colonies, founding the United Provinces of Guyana. Half of the names are in Czech and half in German, and since I speak neither of those languages, I’m sorry I got anything wrong.”

Number 5: Minnesota_Nationalist

“So, the person before me sent a map of a recently independent, mostly ethnically Dutch United Provinces of Guyana, which to me seemed to have broken off of Bohemia and their Amazonian colonies. Guyana seemed to be an America analogue, with the Amazon essentially becoming Canada. I imagined that in the chaos of Spanish-American independence, Guyana would expand to Manifest Destiny Venezuela and much of New Granada. Unfortunately for Guyana, New Granada was a bit more populated than the territory that America took in OTL, and so now it's stuck with territory that it can't properly integrate. Amazon, under the Archduchy of Bohemia, also expanded, but took territory that was barely inhabited and therefore easier to integrate and colonize. By the end of the century, the Viceduchy of Amazon has become comparatively stronger than Guyana, who is on the verge of civil war.”

Number 6: Wings

“The previous map showed an interesting colonisation of the Americas, notably with larger German and Bohemian colonisation, therefore here I assumed the HRE expanded to include Genoa and other Italian states, leading Columbus to "discover" the Americas, landing in Brazil for the HRE emperor. Therefore, the Germans also landed in Northern America, settling OTL's NE U.S.A. English, French and Spanish colonisation happened as in OTL. The Explosion of the HRE during the European Wars left the English dominated Thirteen Colonies to take over some areas of Amerika, but the German State, successor to the HRE still managed to hold most of their holdings, unlike Spain who lost Mexico and California.
In OTL, France never cedes Louisiana, leading to an expansionist and nationalist U.S after they break away from English rule for the same reasons as OTL (fed up with taxes). Less U.S intervention in the west leads to the formation of the Native Free Territories in western New France. Oh, and Canada becomes Socialist and allies with the U.S after the English try to push taxes of them as well.
Tensions between the U.S and New France as well as in Europe lead to the Grand War, where Canada and the U.S invade Amerika and New France. Although Amerika falls within the year, U.S and Canadian forces struggle in New France even with chemical attacks. Somehow, the U.K also is driven into the war and the U.S fail to push far into Florida. With U.K and French naval superiority in the Atlantic, and French forces holding in New France, the U.K land in Nova Scotia, turning the war around. As they try to gain new minerals to fund the war effort, Canada invades California in 1927 but their war in New France turns to disaster and the Free Territories also join in, strangling Canada by the end of the year. The U.S also mounts a desperate defense but suffers numerous setbacks while Amerika is liberated, and the Allies finish the job by nuking Canada F.D and Charlotte for good measure. Mexico stays neutral all the way.”

Number 7: Vylon Disigma

https://www.deviantart.com/qazdr6/art/The-Company-in-South-America-806665410?ga_submit_new=10:1566232136&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1 Sorry, I have to put a link to the image because the forum is being a b*tch and doesn't let me upload the file.

“It was my first time participating in a telephone map game but even so, given the example presented at the start of the thread I was a bit surprised that that the map I received looked so familiar.

The big things that seemed of interest were first; the nukes in 1928. And second; the gigantic German America that had seemingly been, not just carved of the USA, but had been actually partially (at least) Germanised. Other than those things it seemed that the pod had been somewhere in the 7 years war or just before given that the US capital Hamilton indicating the period had a number of OTL characters.

Based on those things I supposed and super reactionary Europe and a progressive Americas, and within Europe a division between an Anglo-Dutch capitalistic-imperialism, opposed to a Franco-German Reactionary anti-capitalism, which had been the backdrop of the Grand war. Given the result of the war being victory of reactionary Europe the aspect of the world I wanted I to map was a snapshot of the endless wars of nationalization going on between the capitalist powers (now consolidated after the war) and the relatively weak south American countries. I did at one point wish to show Japan or China taking over the declining European presence in the region but decided against it as I thought it would be too far off to allow the impact of the previous map to be felt.

Other than that I tried to give hints about the state of the world outside of South America, like Neuer Frankfurt, Advanced Technology, or a Vienna focused Germany, but one of my regrets with the map is that I don’t think I did enough of it. The other regret is the naming of the cities; I probably should have spent more time on it.

Other things to note, I think to get nukes that early you need computing substantially advanced beyond OTL which I hope means some kind of analytical engine and that I think the presence of French Louisiana and the USA simultaneously in the 20thC probably means the territory flipped hands a few times. and Finally in my mind but not on the map; Britain is in personal union with Prussia, in 2020 Japan and Russia compete for the world's largest economy, China gets a new popular dynasty, Africa has become the continent with the largest consumption of fossil fuels, and lack of functional rockets resulted in 20thC Race to establish sovereignty over the poles and the oceans for air and sub basses.”

Number 8: Kikkoman

“So my line of thinking was that Argentina comes under control of an anti-British regime, ultimately resulting in Britain declaring war to protect the interests of "The Company" in Patagonia.”

Number 9: Fluttersky

“The federalization of Britain was the brainchild of the Labour government, enacted as part of the Good Friday Agreement of 2006. The Argentine Republican Army agreed to lay down arms; many of its members and supporters joined the political party Nosotros Mismos, which supports a peaceful reunification of British Patagonia with Argentina. In return, measures instituted to curb the political power of the Spanish-speaking population of British Patagonia are abolished, and the four provinces of Britain with large numbers of Hispanophones (Black River, Chubut, Newquen, and Thatcher) are now fully bilingual in government. (Chubut is officially trilingual, with Welsh also having official status).

The agreement also states that any British province may secede in the event of a referendum showing that the majority of people want to do so. This article was put into place with the intention of giving the Hispanophones of Patagonia the right to self-determination; however, a successful referendum there is considered unlikely as Spanish-speakers are now a minority (albeit a significant one) in all of those provinces, with Anglophones (who have predominantly arrived within the last 40 years) now forming a majority throughout British Patagonia. Indeed, if any province of Britain is to secede, the most likely one is considered to be Scotland, where pro-independence sentiment is slowly on the rise.

As the new decade of the 2010s begins, almost everyone is glad that there's finally peace in Patagonia. We can only hope it lasts.”




Thanks to @Selvetrica, @Reepicheep, @gerhardqwe, @Minnesota_Nationalist, @Wings, @Vylon Disigma, @Kikkomaan, @fluttersky (and me!) for participating in this round!

Ladies, and Gentlemen! I present to you:

LIST Nº 1 OF THE TELEPHONE MAP GAME

Spoiler

Number 1: Alexander North

“I don't have much in the way of experience with non-worlda maps or using any programs other than MS Paint, which is why this doesn't have a lot of detail. I started off with the idea that TTL's Asia suffered a fate somewhere between OTL's Africa and OTL's Americas in terms of colonialism, with the nation I'd be focusing on being roughly analogous to apartheid South Africa. I didn't put any information about the political parties on the map, because I didn't want to clog it up with too much text, but I figured the Chinese Nationalists would want to unite all of China and expel the colonists, the Patriots would be generic Swedish nationalists, the Federalists would be vaguely analogous to communists (which I tried to indicate by giving them a color similar to the one people tend to use for communist China on most color schemes), the Socials would be generic social democrats, the Grand Republic party would want to sever ties with Sweden, but maintain the *apartheid state, and the Unionists would be pan-ethnic moderates. I threw in the "shortly before the outbreak of war with the Holy Empire of Nieuw Bohemia" part because the map looked a little empty and there wasn't much information about what was going on elsewhere in the world, other than that Sweden was much stronger and that New Sweden was probably surrounded by other colonialist regimes, judging by all the purposely ugly straight-line borders.”

Number 2: KolyenuKS

“The map of the Confederacy of Turtle Island in 1994, with its neighbors. The basic description is that (according to the 1st map at least) the Europeans focused more on Asia then North America, which led to the Iroquois modernizing and taking over most of North America, they're in a mini cold war with the Mexica Empire, which was formed by the Aztecs.”

Number 3: Drex

“The message I received pointed out that the current year was 1994. From that and the "Terra Incognita" to the northwest I assumed the technological developement went slower than OTL. Due to the name "Turtle Island" being there I assumed European attitude towards colonialism was different, mostly letting the natives do their own work while taking and founding key trade routes and benefitting from them. Then I noticed the "French Republic in Exile", and that got me thinking about an analogue of the Revolutionary Wars in which the Republic lost and had to be exiled to America*. Hence I decieded to attempt to paint the outcome of such a war in my own map and switching the map center from America to Europe in an attempt to create a more diverse world. My only assumption was that the French Republic was reduced to a rump state consisting of the core Langue d'oïl area. The rest of the states were simply invented (well, that Lotharingian Empire came from the Floridian colour of the previous map which looks like the Burgundian colour and I thought "hey, let's make a big Burgundy but not call it Burgundy").”

Number 4: Viralworld

“Here’s my map, it depicts the Fifty Days Campaign of 1992 where the Empire of Brythonia, alongside their Lotharingian and Monarchist French Allies, mop up the last bastion of French Republicanism that had rooted itself in Quebec. Republican holdouts in Trois-Rivières and Quebec hold out under siege with daily artillery shelling and slow and methodical Brythonic assaults that clear the city block by block. Additionally, small bands of partisan Republicans hide in the woods and countryside and raid the occupying Brythonic army. Republicanism in the world perished in the snowy landscape of Canada... for now.”

Number 5: Meeplesyrup

“Essentially it’s an alternate colonized North America in a world where Scotland and Ireland maintained independence from the U.K. and the British consolidation of control over much of North America didn’t happen. Of particular note is Alba Nuadh (New Scotland), a North Korea-esque state that violently conquered and subjugated the French Republic in-exile in Quebec after the Bourbon Restoration Coup of 1971. Alba Nuadh is aggressively expansionist, genocidally violent and a growing global security liability in the región”

Number 6: Uebeltank

“So the previous map made me think of a pre-1066 POD. For this I pretty much made each region as plausible as possible, though I obviously made sure to have a reason for exile-France, and have Russia, Prussia, Anglia-Cumbria, and Scandica exist.”

Number 7: Falkanner

“I received a map of Europe with what appeared to be a POD in the Middle Ages. At first, I was tempted to do a more detailed map of the British Isles or the UEC, since those both piqued my interest. However, I was afraid that either of those were the basis for the previous map, and, at the same time, I wanted to move away from the ever-popular Europe and explore another part of the world. With no information about the Americas, I was free to depict a colony or former colony of one of these European nations -- but that felt too easy.
Looking at the map, I realized that the UEC was out of place -- it was apparently a radical state surrounded entirely by kingdoms. I started to imagine an ideological conflict between this pariah state and a conservative alliance led by Russia and the Byzantines, a scenario where the UEC might start looking for allies beyond Europe so that they wouldn't be fighting alone. All of this led me to the concept of having proxy wars in Asia, with Russia and Rome trying to stamp out radical movements supplied by the UEC.
Aesthetically, I'm happy with how the map came out (orthographic projection, yay), but I'm still unsure about it. The maps in these telephone games are normally restricted to a small region, but this map extends all the way from North Africa to India, so I'm worried that I'm covering too much area and not providing any good opportunities for SpazzReflex. The scenario behind it could have also been more fleshed out in my head. The concept of an alternate Cold War isn't very original either, but I had a deadline and I panicked, and I ended up going with the first idea I was happy with.”

Number 8: Spazz Reflex

“I deduced from the previous map that the UEC was probably some kind of communalist Europe, and while I originally wanted to do something else, like a Greek-speaking East African city-state or a Metis UEC puppet, I wound up doing a quick map of a post-*Communist Western Europe, trapped between an urbanized, dynamic east, and a conquering, independent West, doomed by geography to be irrelevant to World politics without unity.”

Number 9: Gwrtheyrn Annwn

“To be honest, my first thought on receiving the previous map was what the hell happened to Europe. Being a Brit though, I focused on the borders in the British Isles in particular.
So there's and independent (?) Ireland, Scotland and not!Cornwall but no Wales. More specifically, a 32 counties Ireland, a slightly reduced in size Scotland and a 'Cernishland' bigger than the county boundary of Cornwall. Frankly, I had no idea how this could of come about initially, but I set out to try and give and explanation in map form. The solution I eventually came to was for there to have been some kind of Russian Civil War analogue in which there were several rebellions that in some cases were crushed and in others were absorbed into the resultant USSR as SSRs. I also imagined this civil war being at a similar point in time but didn't specify in the map to avoiding stepping on toes. The fact that the result had to be what essentially looked like a USSR equivalent in Western Europe was a bonus. There was just one problem, namely the fact that not!France is labelled as the 'European Federation' which implied that the Communist revolution(s) had begun there. This meant I needed a combined Anglo-French state to explain the civil war and I eventually went with a United Kingdom of England and France (in head canon, formed by an English victory in the Hundred Years' War) but didn't show this explicitly in order to try and avoid clashing with any earlier maps.
Then, in order to try and explain the new borders in Britain, I decided that Wales and Scotland would be Ukraine/Caucasus analogues with Wales being an independence movement that was crushed (to explain it being the only major region of the British Isles to not be 'independent') and Scotland being a brief independence movement that was 'hijacked' by communists but that part is head canon as I wasn't able to show it on the map. Ireland (or the Irish Communist Army) and not!Cornwall had Communist revolutions to explain their existence as communes in the previous map. The existence of an independent Mann at this point, meanwhile, was thrown in just for fun. Lastly, I was tempted to go big with a map of the entire kingdom but in trying to avoid stepping on toes (and, if I'm honest, time constraints which affected the map enough as it is) I simply went for the British (or rather English) theatre.”




Thanks to @Alexander North, @KolyenuKS, @Drex, @Viralworld, @meeplesyrup, @Uebeltank, @Falkanner, @SpazzReflex and @Gwrtheyrn Annwn for taking part on this round of the Telephone Map Game!

Join us in the next round of the Telephone map game, that I'll make a thread for in the next hours/days! Thanks everyone!

 

[Karlmarx900]

Well, yikes...

Yes. You're right. I do not like genocide, ethnic cleansing, mass murder or other atrocities in real life.

 

[Skallagrim]

With Respect to @Blacklister3000 , I present my own Quick-take on his North America Map, with slightly more realistic Boarders. I still think the scenario as a whole is ASB, but thought I would try to fix it up a little bit.

Big Nederland thanks you for the control of the St. Lawrence river.

 

[TheKutKu]

View attachment 485700
Follow up to my Africa and Australia maps. America circa 1750.

Lol, reminds me of this map @Viriato made for his timeline

Division of Brazil into capitaincies applied to the whole Americas...

 

[Goweegie2]

Here's a worlda I made for my interpretation of the Eugenics Wars from Star Trek (with the date retconned to the 2020s). Since the canon details of it are vague and contradictory I was able to make this be the peak of augment control

 

[Ameck16]

The following scenario is not meant to be realistic and is just a story and nothing more I do not support any of what is depicted in this scenario. understood?:
An Islamophobic, anti-Semitic person who disliked east and southeast Asians came to power in the united states. After a major crisis India and Pakistan engaged in nuclear war and both states were destroyed. A nuclear winter set in and this caused a famine which caused upwards of one billion deaths due to famine and the resulting wars over food and arable land and the fall of the PRC due to revolution and civil war. Meanwhile in America the president used the crisis to establish a totalitarian dictatorship and prepared the country for war and establish an alliance with Russia which later Joined the western bloc. America's western European allies prepared for war as well. A few short years later the United States nuked mecca, Medina and major cities in the Islamic world. Shortly afterward American forces invaded Arabia, Iran, Southeast Asia, Africa and Venezuela. Meanwhile in the US large extermination camps were built to begin the extermination of Muslims, people of southeastern Asians and Jews who were exterminated in what was called the second holocaust. America's wars in Africa, Southeast Asia, the Middle East and Iran was successful in no small part to the use of nuclear weapons, carpet bombing and the resulting famine. While China was in civil war the USA annexed Manchuria and Mexico. With western and Russian aid much of the Manchurian population was deported and because of the nuclear a significant portion of the Chinese population died. Hundreds of millions died as a result of the nuclear winter. After the atomic winter The western bloc was the undisputed hegemon of the world. Brazil joined the western bloc and annexed large portions of Africa.
View attachment 485756
Data about the character who came to power:
Name: Diane Murphy

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour: black

Height: 5 ft

Talents: combat, engineering, science, programming, creation of almost any kind of technology in the universe, wilderness survival, farming, military and political strategy

Extremely skilled at: combat, engineering, science, programming, creation of almost any kind of technology in the universe, wilderness survival, farming, military and political strategy, propaganda, biology, physics, math, chemistry, mechanics

Ideology: Totalitarianism, capitalism, nationalism, progressivism

characteristics: genius-level intelligence, photographic memory, islamophobia, anti-Semitism, Sinophobia, dislike of east and southeast Asians.

Ok then Atleast I read this before @CalBear enters the thread.

 

[Falkanner]

Crossposting from the Telephone Map Game:

The pictures aren't showing up for me.

 

[Analytical Engine]

The pictures aren't showing up for me.

You need to go to the page that's been quoted from. The images show up there.

 

[Entrerriano]

You need to go to the page that's been quoted from. The images show up there.

I can probably fix it tho. Give me a minute

 

[Bleh]

snip

"extremely skilled at military and political strategy"

*nukes holy cities*

lol sure

 

[Library of Alexandria]

"extremely skilled at military and political strategy"

*nukes holy cities*

lol sure

perhaps their specialty is losing.

 

[skozik]

Yes. You're right. I do not like genocide, ethnic cleansing, mass murder or other atrocities in real life.

What compelled you to make and post this, then? Does somebody have a gun to your head demanding that you crank out dozens upon dozens of comically low-effort Worldas, all depicting objectively horrible scenarios? What is your angle here?

 

[Blacklister]

I will be paying homage to @HeX and his supersized maps (And They Shall Eat Cake, How The Sausage Gets Made, Navel Of The Moon) with a continuation of expansionist nations. Given the past suggestions (Ireland, Turkey, Switzerland, Armenia, Argentina, Georgia, Romania, Kievan Rus, Venice) and possibly more of yours in the future, I will be busy brewing up maps and explanations in these next few days.

 

[Library of Alexandria]

I will be paying homage to @HeX and his supersized maps (And They Shall Eat Cake, How The Sausage Gets Made, Navel Of The Moon) with a continuation of expansionist nations. Given the past suggestions (Ireland, Turkey, Switzerland, Armenia, Argentina, Georgia, Romania, Kievan Rus, Venice) and possibly more of yours in the future, I will be busy brewing up maps and explanations in these next few days.

I feel like my rant I had at Marx a month or so ago clears up why I think his wank maps work and yours don't.

 

[HeX]

I will be paying homage to @HeX and his supersized maps (And They Shall Eat Cake, How The Sausage Gets Made, Navel Of The Moon) with a continuation of expansionist nations. Given the past suggestions (Ireland, Turkey, Switzerland, Armenia, Argentina, Georgia, Romania, Kievan Rus, Venice) and possibly more of yours in the future, I will be busy brewing up maps and explanations in these next few days.

Uh, that's great and all, but could you maybe not use those ones that have already been suggested? I'm working on a Turkey/Ottoman wank at the moment, with plans for Venice, Egypt, and others soon after. Why not go for, say, Canada or the Aztecs or the Zulu?

 

[Blacklister]

Uh, that's great and all, but could you maybe not use those ones that have already been suggested? I'm working on a Turkey/Ottoman wank at the moment, with plans for Venice and others soon after. Why not go for, say, Canada or the Aztecs or the Zulu?

If it’s true all nine are being worked on, then I respectfully accept your request to work on other projects. Besides, I was thinking on making a Czech or Bulgarian wank.

 

[Karlmarx900]

What compelled you to make and post this, then? Does somebody have a gun to your head demanding that you crank out dozens upon dozens of comically low-effort Worldas, all depicting objectively horrible scenarios? What is your angle here?

That was a disclaimer

 

[HeX]

~Our Fair Columbia~

"Those who stand for nothing fall for everything."
--King Alexander I, House of Hamilton​

​

"We have it in our power to begin the world over again."
--Thomas Paine, Common Sense​

​

"Why was the Revolution fought, if not for our freedoms, if not for our liberties, if not for the escape from the boot of imperialist tyranny? Why, then, have we allowed a monarch to sit on the Throne of America?"
--Thomas Jefferson, A Declaration of Disgust​

​

"I am not only retired from all public employments but I am retiring within myself, and shall be able to view the solitary walk and tread the paths of private life with heartfelt satisfaction.… I will move gently down the stream of life, until I sleep with my fathers."
--Prime Minister George Washington​

​

"The Americans spoke of liberty, but then turned around and put a pretender king on a throne at the shores of the Potomac. This is hypocrisy at its finest, and their dynasty is laughable at best."
--King George III, House of Hanover​

​

Lady Columbia, defend us in battle, be our protection against the storm of war. May General Washington guide us, and Sir Thomas Jefferson advise us, as we humbly pray for the manifestation of our destiny; and do thou, O Goddess of Infinite Wisdom, by the Power of the Eagle, cast into Hell our foes who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of Our Fair Columbia.
[Traditional Pantheon Prayer, c. 1850s]

---

Monarchs of the United Empire of Columbia (1839-Present Day)
Emperor Charles I, House of Saratoga (1839-1850)
Emperor Henri I, House of Saratoga (1850-1883)
Empress Esmeralda I, House of Saratoga-Yamato (1883-1934)
Emperor Alexander II, House of Saratoga-Yamato (1934-1986)
Empress Rochelle I, House of Saratoga-Yamato (1986-2013)
Empress Esmeralda II, House of Saratoga-Yamato (2013-Present)

---

Presidents of the United Empire of Columbia (1837-Present Day)
Henry Clay (1837-1845) (Patricians)
Samuel Houston (1845-1855) (Whigs)
Vacant (1855-1865) (Executive Helmed by Caesar Abraham Lincoln during the Columbian Civil War)
John C. Fremont (1865-1873) (Imperial Union)
Schuyler Colfax (1873-1881) (Imperial Union)
Ulysses S. Grant (1881-1889) (Imperial Union)
Theodore Roosevelt (1889-1905) (Manifest Destiny)
Woodrow Wilson (1905-1913) (Imperial Union)
Warren G. Harding (1913-1921) (Manifest Destiny)
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1921-1933) (Imperial Union)
Al Smith (1933-1941) (Manifest Destiny)
Henry Wallace (1941-1945) (Imperial Union)
Ernestine Russell (1945-1949) (Manifest Destiny)
Vacant (1949-1953) (Executive Helmed by Caesar Dwight D. Eisenhower during the Columbian Warlord Period)
John F. Kennedy (1953-1969) (Grand Alliance)
Shirley Chisholm (1969-1977) (Manifest Destiny)
Ronald Reagan (1977-1985) (Manifest Destiny)
Michael Dukakis (1985-1989) (Grand Alliance)
Yulia Tymoshenko (1989-1993) (Grand Alliance)
Arianna Huffington (1993-2001) (Manifest Destiny)
Elaine Chao (2001-2009) (Consulate)
Yulia Tymoshenko (2009-2013) (Grand Alliance)
Ralph Nader (2013-Present) (Manifest Destiny)

---
​

Everyone has a favorite alternate history subject. Some people enjoy dystopias, others like Central Powers or Axis Powers victories, and still others prefer Pax Napoleonica. My hands-down favorite AH topic is a version of the United States that has turned monarchist (and an exorbitantly extravagant monarchy at that) and utterly obsessed with their national identity, so much so that they create a half-baked religion based on their myths and legends. Think Columbia from BioShock Infinite, but applied to most of North America. This is that world.

In this timeline, the United States of America has had a tumultuous existence. The Revolution took a dark turn, with George Washington failing time and time again in the opening years of the war, fleeing from New York to Virginia after a series of defeats. Still, the Union manages to keep the good fight going, but Washington's status as a living legend is tarnished a bit as a result of his successive losses. Instead, his one time right hand man, Alexander Hamilton, gains the notoriety Washington could only dream of, after he goes against direct orders and engages with the British at the Battle of Williamsburg, the turning point in the war as the Americans bounce back against the Redcoats, and his ensuing Canadian Campaign to secure the most of the rest of British North America one compared to another Alexander of equal historical footing. But by this point, the fight had been far too brutal for the original ideals the Revolution championed to survive. The Articles of Confederation and its weak federal government were assailed on all sides, taking the blame off of Washington's shoulders for the defeats, and many political thinkers, including Benjamin Franklin and John Adams, began to question if a republic was really the best way to go. Perhaps a leaf should have been taken out of Caesar's book instead of Romulus'.

The Confederation and the United States of America lasted only as long as the Revolution did, and only because it would be too hard to reorganize the government during wartime. So when the guns stopped firing in 1788, everyone agreed it was time to go back to the drawing board. At the Constitutional Convention, the most hotly-debated issue was over if the new government should be a strong republic or a medium-rate monarchy. Outside pressure from France (who had just finished putting down a rebellion of their own, courtesy of the Marquis de Lafayette and a few cannons at the Bastille), the new nation's closest ally, skewed the results in favor of the latter, and the deal was sealed. The Constitutional Convention officially created the United Kingdom of America (the UKA for short), with the by that point legendary Alexander Hamilton being named their first king.

For a while there, things were going great in the UKA. King Alexander I was competent and knew his boundaries, and a line of Prime Ministers including Washington, Jefferson, and Adams all ensured the Congress got what it wanted. As time went on, believe it or not, some people wanted more democratic ideals inserted into the Constitution. So began the Great Troubles, when Sir Andrew Jackson, Commanding General of the Army of the United Kingdom of America, sided with these protesters, declaring a military coup and putting a bounty on the Royal Family's head as they fled to France. For nine years, from 1828 to 1837, Jackson ruled most of the old UKA with an iron fist. Though he talked a lot of talk about democracy and the republican ideal, he never put his money where his mouth was, as is the case with most dictators. Almost a decade of empty promises later, and the people of America had had enough. The Second American Revolution began in 1837, spearheaded by Henry Clay, a master statesman, and Winfield Scott, a battle born prodigy military commander who was the only general capable of standing up to Jackson. With significant aid from their French and now Austrian allies, the Americans overthrew the government that had just overthrown their former government, proclaiming the creation of the United Empire of Columbia. Frenchman Charles Ferdinand, the Duke of Berry and member of the House of Bourbon, was invited to take the helm as the new Emperor of America, which he graciously accepted, founding the new House of Saratoga in 1839. Henry Clay was elected president soon after, a position of great honor as the voice of Congress to the Emperor and vice versa.

The United Empire of Columbia is set up very differently from the OTL US, or even the UKA. There are three main levels to its system of government, these being the States, the Kingdoms, and the Empire. The States and the Empire function mostly the same as the OTL State and Federal governments, but the Kingdoms are new, as a sort of in-between step from State to Empire. There are eight Kingdoms (Canada, New England, Atlantia, Dixie, Sylvania, Aztlán, California, and the Caribbean), each of which are run by one royal family or house (Bourbon, Adams, Hamilton, Lee, Rockefeller, Iturbide, Kalākaua, and Kennedy). Every decade, the denizens of these Kingdoms elect a member of their royal family to represent their Kingdom in the third part of the Legislative Branch, the Council of Kings. In addition to the States and Kingdoms, there are also a few areas run by First Nation peoples, largely left alone but at the consequence of having no say in domestic or foreign policy. There are also many American colonies around the world (called "Overseas Territories" to make them better than they actually are), most prominently in Indonesia, Indochina, West Africa, and the Pacific.

The UEC is also home to a rather unique religion, the Columbian Pantheon. While the Empire isn't theocratic on paper, the Pantheon has significant sway over the proceedings of the American government, with their leaders, the Consul Triumvirate, regularly interfering in politics. The Pantheon is technically an offshoot of Christianity, though it has as much in common with it as it does Buddhism. The Holy Trinity of Uncle Sam, Lady Columbia, and George Washington are said to rule the heavens, with Washington coming to Earth to free the colonies from British tyranny as was divinely ordained. His string of military losses were merely tests of American willpower, and the rise of Hamilton to the highest seat in the land was Washington's doing. Each member of the Triumvirate is believed to hold within them either the spirit of Sam, Columbia, or Washington, and as such are to be treated as gods. (The holder of Washington's spirit is determined to be the greatest general of the day, and is therefore always held by the Commanding General of the Army.) The other Founding Fathers, like Jefferson, Madison, Franklin, and Hamilton, are treated as demigod-saints, dubbed "Patriots."

This is a map of the world as it was in 1909. The United Empire of Columbia is one of the most powerful nations on Earth, and is allied to France, Austria, Portugal, Peru, the Ottomans, and (through constant intermarrying between the Saratogan and Yamatoan Royal Families) Japan. Their chief rival is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, not to mention other such enemies as Russia, Prussia, Brazil, Venice, the Netherlands, and Scandinavia.