Yet Another Completely Nonsensical list of Presidents of the United States
1.John Paul Jones/Abraham Whipple (Naval Tradition)( April 30th,1789- March 4th,1793)
2. Thomas Paine/George Clinton (Despotic-Revolutionary)( March 4th 1793-March 4th,1801)
3.Thomas Pickeney/John Adams (Federalist)(March 4th,1800- March 4th,1808)
4.Jonathan Mason/Samuel Johnson (Federalist)(March 4th,1808-March 4th,1816)
5. Samuel Smith/Robert G. Harper (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1816-March 4th,1821)
6.Rodger G. Harper/John Adams (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1821- March 4th,1824)
7.Smith Thompson/Andrew Jackson (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1824-August 9th,1825)*
8.Andrew Jackson/William Eustis (Revolutionary)(August 10th,1825-March 4th,1829)
9.Daniel Webster/John C. Calhoun (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1829- March 4th,1837)
10. Philip P. Barbour/Rodger B. Taney (Law and Order)(March 4th,1836-January 2nd,1841)*
11. Rodger B. Taney/Vacant (Law and Order)(January 3rd,1841-March 4th,1845)
12. John Tyler/John Spencer (Constitution)(March 4th,1845-March 4th,1849)
13. John Bell/Edward Everet (Constitution)(March 4th,1849-March 4th,1857)
14. John Dix/Martin Van Buren (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1857-March 4th,1865)
15. Gerrit Smith/Lysander Spooner (Abolitionist)(March 4th,1865-September 2nd,1870)*
16. Lysander Spooner/Vacant (Abolitionist)(September 2nd,1870- March 4th,1873)
17.Peter Cooper/John A. Stewart (Greater Yankee Nationalist)(March 4th,1873-March 4th,1881)
18. Joseph H. Choate/Thomas A. Hendricks (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1881-March 4th,1889)
19. Thomas A. Hendricks/Levi P. Morton (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1889-March 4th,1893)
20. Harris M. Palasted/Matthew Q. Clay (Corruption)(March 4th,1893-March 4th,1901)
21. John D. Long/Joseph B. Foraker (Populist)(March 4th,1901-March 4th,1909)
22. Joseph B. Foraker /Homer Davenport (Populist)(March 4th,1909-March 4th,1913)
23. Edward Smith/Arthur Roston (Titanic-Nationalist)(March 4th,1913-March 4th,1917)
24. John Sharp Williams/Woodrow Wilson (Constitution)(March 4th,1917-March 4th,1929)
25. Franklin Delano Roosevelt/Herbert Hoover (Revolutionary)(March 4th,1929-March 4th,1937)
26. Alf Landon/Al Capone (Conservative-Populist)(March 4th,1937-January 20th,1941)
27. Al Capone/Henry Ford (Conservative-Populist)(January 20th,1941-January 20th,1949)
28. William F. Halsey/John G. Crommelin (Naval-Tradition)(January 20th,1949-January 20th,1957)
29. Herbert Hoover/Barry Goldwater (Revolutionary)(January 20th,1957-January 20th,1965)
30. Barry Goldwater/J. Edgar Hoover (Revolutionary)(January 20th,1965-January 20th,1973)
31. Jimmy Carter/George Wallace (Constitution)(January 20th,1973-January 20th,1981)
32. George Wallace/Storm Thurmond (Constitution)(January 20th,1981-January 20th,1989)
33. Alf Landon/Storm Thurmond (Constitution)(January 20th,1989-January 20th,1993)
34.Joe Biden/Bill Clinton (Constitution)(January 20th,1993- August 1st,1995)*
35. Bill Clinton/Vacant (Constitution)(August 1st,1995-January 20th,1997)
36. Don Knotts/Danny Devito (Laughter)(January 20th,1997- February 18th,1999)*
37. Danny Devito/ Vacant(Laughter)(February 18th,1999-January 20th,2001)
38. John Goodman/Chuck Grassley (Revolutionary) (January 20th,2001-July 14th,2003)I
39. Chuck Grassley/Vacant (Revolutionary)(July 14th,2003-January 20th,2005)
40. George W. Bush/John McCain (Revolutionary)(January 20th,2005-January 20th,2009)
41. Bill Gates/John Kerry (Constitution)(January 20th,2009-October 10th,2010)*
42.John Kerry/Vacant (Constitution)(October 10th,2010-January 20th,2013)
43.Mark Kirk/Sam Brownback (Revolutionary)(January 20th,2013-December 1st,2014)R
44. Sam Brownback/Vacant (Revolutionary)(December 1st,2014-January 20th,2017)
45. Robin Williams/Jeff Goldblum (Laughter)(January 20th,2017- April 23rd,2017)*
46. Jeff Goldblum/vacant (Laughter)(April 23rd,2017- January 20th,2021)
47. Carl Fitzgerald/Caroline Wesley (Constitution) (January 20th,2021-January 15th,2025)*
In order to better appeal to the female vote which had swung hard after the scandal plagued presidency of Bill Gates, freshman senator from Colorado Caroline Wesley was picked up as the running mate to Carl Fitzgerald. Her administration would finally see an end to the Iraq War, bolstered with the reinstatement of Saddam Hussein back into power as a "stabilizer". His relationship with british prime minister Christopher Chope was one of vehement disagreement with one another and a worsening of Anglo relations, so much that Fitzgerald would begin to promote a new ideological faction within the Constitution party called Anglophobic Fitzgeraldism. It was also during this time the Capital Relocation Act of 2022 was signed into law. This had the capital move to the city of the president-elect's birth.
48. Caroline Wesley/Vacant (Constitution) (January 15th,2025-January 20th,2025)
The First Female president and shortest administration so far in the united state's history, Wesley's presidency was not remembered for any of her breif policy initiatives that would fizzle out with the swearing in of Corkbach, but by her most memorable address to the nation shortly after Fitzgerald's unfortunate death. Besides the rousing speech she had given the nation, she is merely a footnote in the history books.
49. Millard Corkbach/Justin Earl (Revolutionary) (January 20th,2025-January 20th,2029)
The presidency of Millard Corkbach would see the nation take a radical course alteration. Besides calls to bring back Prohibition and overturn Grant v. Board of Education Bismark, he also declared war on the United Kingdom, dubbing the war "War of 1812 round two". The war would see Ottawa nuked into oblivion and the devastation of Chicago, the new american capital. Despite frenzied counterattacks and large military purges of the ranks, there would be renewed attempts at removing Corkbach from office via both impeachment and military force, both of which would backfire and fail resoundingly.
The Front line stabilized in mid 2027 with the retaking of Philadelphia, peace talks finally began in September and concluded with the signing of the treaty of Baghdad, arbitrated by Uday Hussein of Iraq. (Hussein would be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his actions) Turning attention back to his domestic agenda, he would attempt to shutdown the entire nation with military force in late 2027, being forced out by mutinous soldiers and the brave actions of former president Jeff Goldblum, who became the powerful speaker of the house after entering politics for a second time.
With failure at home and abroad, he would act increasingly authoritarian and be seen swindling large sums of cash from local Salt Lake City gangsters, including a scandal which would see his entire cabinet resign and the position be filled with acting members which would be there for the rest of Corkbach's administration.
One positive aspect of his presidency was the harsh crackdown on drug trafficking from the Carolina bayous, though this was offset with his idiotic decision of utilizing atomic weapons in Charleston to prevent more drugs. He would also be the president which would reshape the secret service into a combination of enforcers and secret police,thoroughly modifying the constitution to repeal the 4th Amendment with the 30th Amendment.
During the 2028 election, Corkbach would lose in a landslide of 75,000,000 popular and 535 electoral votes to 650,000 popular and 3 electoral votes, winning only Wyoming, two of which defected to Daniels during the voting process in December. The sole elector was officially awarded the position of secretary of state, being confirmed narrowly in early January of 2029, eighteen days before he was to leave office.
50. Arnold Daniels/Jefferson Patrick (Constitution) (January 20th,2029-August 4th,2030)*
51. Jefferson Patrick/Vacant (Constitution) (August 4th,2030-January 20th,2037)
52. Elijah Alvin/Kate Hood (Constitution)(January 20th,2037-April 3rd,2045)*
53. Kate Hood/Vacant (Constitution) (April 3rd,2045-July 5th,2047)*
54.Morgan Ranger/Jack Hatch (Constitution) (July 5th,2047-January 20th,2049)
55. Woodrow Solomon/Jefferson Issac (Constitution) (January 20th,2049-January 20th,2061)
56. Michael Fisher/Harrison Duncan (Constitution) (January 20th,2061-January 20th,2073)
57. Carlos McNamara/ Ronald Jackson (Constitution) (January 20th,2073-December 25th,2078)*
58. Ronald Jackson/Pete Rockefeller (Constitution) (December 25th,2078-December 25th,2080)*
59.Pete Rockefeller/Carter Hood (Constitution) (December 25th,2080-January 20th,2081)
60. Gordon Miller/Patrick Dinkleman (Constitution) (January 20th,2081-January 20th,2085)
61. Patrick Dinkleman/Sarah Hood (Constitution) (January 20th,2085-March 14th,2088)*
62. Sarah Hood/ Blake Watters (Constitution) (March 14th,2088-January 20th,2089)
63.Pete Rockefeller/Carter Hood (Constitution) (January 20th,2089-January 20th,2093)
64. Gary Doofensmirtz/Perry Ferb (Revolutionary) (January 20th,2093-January 20th,2101)
*= Died in Office/Assassinated
R= Resigned
I= Impeached
Italics indicate made up name