Kasespatzle unt Schwartzwald Kuchen

17 April 1918 – Washington, D.C., United States of America

“If they wanted to see sell Jamaica they would have offered it, asking to buy it for another $50 million might ruin the entire deal at this point and very few people wanted to take that chance, Senator Pittman”. For reasons beyond the comprehension of Willard Saulsbury of Delaware, President pro tempore of the Senate, seven democrats had broken with the party and were stalling the purchase of Western Canada by the United States. While the Republicans by and large offered token resistance at first, the break from the ‘Seven Saboteurs’ now threatened the entire bill. Many had legitimate concerns about moving so much bullion out of the nation at one time, a logical concern being analyzed and gradually essuaded by officers from the United States Mint. Pittman’s reasoning, along with that of five of the six other Democrats, was that the bill did not go far enough.

“We need Jamaica as we will eventually need Cuba. I think we have an opportunity here to look at Dominica and a few other areas in the near future as well”, came the reply.

“Mr. Pittman need I remind you that the offer was not made to include the areas in question nor was any offer extended to consider Jamaica or any other of the Caribbean Islands not specifically purchased. Your request would have us buy out the entirety of Britain’s remaining possessions in the hemisphere and at no small price”. Jamaica, British Honduras, the Falklands, South Sandwich Islands, and Guyana were now being discussed for a sum of $200 million. That would bring even more resistance from the Republicans who were considering a stall on the vote until after the elections if it could be done, but prospects for doing so – even for the whole of the deal itself – were looking bleaker with every German victory. “Britain is starting to worry about the Soldier’s Union Crisis in Calais and Dunquerque even as her army is being recalled. Canada will start having significant military withdrawals soon too, if we are not in possession of the areas in question at that time this might get bloody”.

“Do as you wish, Mr. Saulsbury, but my fellow Senators and I deserve to be heard and considered”.

“Not if it brings down the whole of the purchase you don’t. All you do is hand our opposition a victory for November, deny this country its manifest destiny, and stop us from breaking that despicable trend of new party control of Congress in a mid-term under a new President”.

“Leaving the treasury empty of gold is not wise, Saulsbury”, came the reply.

The older man sighed. Logic was getting him nowhere quickly. “Not availing yourself of opportunity like this is even less wise, young man”. Pittman felt the anger rise but did nothing. “I know you are friends with Senator New on the Territories Committee and can do great damage to this bill, but mark my words that if you block this bill’s success or can be blamed for its failure that is what will happen. Do you really want to risk ostracization from the party and any chance you have of coming back here next election, Mr. Pittman”?

It was the release of Pittman’s otherwise hidden, mild Mississippi accent despite so many years in Nevada that caught Saulsbury’s attention. “Good sir, I believe we have more than Canada in mind for our expansion, we can set ourselves up to complete the dream of the Caribbean as an American lake and start moving on more than that in days to come. Our army and navy already fight in little unholy mosquito-ridden banana plantations named for who-knows-what in god-knows-where. I will risk myself for my country and its interests, we were now at war twice in twenty years with European powers and need to ensure that they have no chance to build up so much as an iota of strength anywhere near our shores”.

Saulsbury looked at him with tired eyes. “I was hoping we could do this amicably, Mr. Pittman, you have talents I would like to see developed and I think you could be an important leader in the future. But great leaders must learn to follow, not just command”. Pittman knew what was coming next as Saulsbury continued. “I have already reached a deal with the Republican leadership on this bill and they will get specific concessions. A railway to Alaska, accelerated statehood for the four Provinces, and accelerated consideration of statehood for the other territories. We will also consider Puerto Rico for statehood in the process as well as offer it to Cuba should they want it”.

Pittman looked at him quizzically. “But you’re leaving the rest off the table”?

“Yes we are. And because you won’t listen to reason or your own leadership I’m having you left off as well. Consider this a polite warning that financial support for your next campaign will be…difficult to obtain if you interfere with any other bills before the next election. If that happens your state party leadership will be made aware of the circumstances. Interfere further or try to resist at that point and no one in your family will find a home with the Democratic Party again. You should have listened when you had the chance”.

Pittman looked at the man with inspective eyes. Threatening him was one thing, but his siblings? This would not be forgotten even if it was very unexpected. “I will heed your words, Mr. Saulsbury”.

“Then a good day to you, you are free to leave”.
 
Why would the german ask that? Denmark was neutral at the time, and the time Denmark wanted to join germany was a desesperation maneauvre to keep Holstein....so yeah that not make sense is almost ASB.

Scandinavianism was developed enough at this point in history that a monetary union existed with the potential for unification of the region under one king. Germany in this scenario wants Denmark to be in its sphere of influence and not made part of a united Scandinavia. No one is suggesting a forceful entry of Denmark into the war, only whose sphere of influence they would be regarded as a part of.
 
19 April 1918 – Amiens, France


“I’m not telling you it’s impossible, boss, only impossible in the time provided. They want us to pull off the impossible in 96 hours”. Such was the opinion of Ludwig Hessmer, a somewhat stout man known as the Schlachtross because of his size and strength. A steelworker before the war, his large physique was kept in excellent shape by being the pack-mule wherever his contingency went. At 6’4” he was usually the first to get shot at and among the last to be teased or made fun of. Despite his jovial sense of humor, the half-head to full head he stood above almost everyone else make most scared to joke with him. “You want us to organize 24 men into four teams of six and be ready to attack a well-armed group of fanatical mobsters-now-soldiers under guard at a well-provisioned and well-defended position with heavy machine guns, rescue the Russian Imperial Family, and get out with all of them or almost all of them alive with only 72 hours to plan this”?


“Yes”.


His men laughed. ‘Radical Warfare’ was being made into practice, Dungerman using his theories of small teams making disproportionate damage a further reality when orders came directly from the Kaiser. As the Western Front was now stable, his family in Russia needed to be saved so he could restore at least one of them to the throne, probably as a puppet, and simultaneously restore some goodwill with Great Britain. A Russian civil war was already starting to heat up with rebellious forces now commanding much of eastern Siberia, this made the German leadership believe that the Romanovs would be transferred elsewhere within the next seven days as Omsk was now in non-Bolshevik hands. “And what becomes of us if we fail? What do we get if we succeed”?


Dungerman nodded. “Failure means torture, dismemberment, and if lucky, a fairly quick death. Our government is not acknowledging us on this mission and participation is strictly voluntary”. He pulled out a sheet of paper from his pocket. “Successful completion means a personal thank you from the Kaiser in writing and other things I will only disclose on the mission’s end”.


Francois Alderman was an Alsatian with Dungerman since the early part of the war, grisly and tough as well as a fast-talker with an understanding of English and French. He was also the single best shot in the assembly of men gathered here. “You ask us to risk our own lives voluntarily without telling us why”?


“‘If you are here for money, it is not guaranteed. If you are here to serve, duty alone would compel you’. At least that is what the end of the letter says”. Dungerman went on. “I need at least 24 of you so I brought 48 here thinking I could get half of you”.


Perhaps a third of the men here were selected because of at least some fluency in Russian, the Memel native known more as ‘The Priest’ than the name Mikhail Dondonas simply put his hands together as he began to speak. “Augustus, for those of us whom you have served with for more than a few weeks, you know our minds, you know we would follow you into hell for the asking, but you should at least tell us why the Kaiser wants us to free these people. We fought against them for long enough, I suspect you give us the truth…but not all of it. Although you are now an officer, please show us the respect of knowing why we would be asked to die”.


“I am only allowed to disclose that to those who agree to go”.


Mikhail stood, less impressive than Hessmer at a foot shorter and much less broad in the shoulders but carrying a mental gravitas of equal strength if not perhaps greater, and raised his right hand. “Upon the honor of my nation, the blood of my family, and the beating of my heart do I swear your secret is safe”. He looked around the room at the remainder. “Well? If you are not willing to swear silence then leave the tent”!


Surprisingly only four men left, the remaining forty swore the improvised oath and asked for Dungerman to continue. “Germany is not interested in another two-front threat after the war and France is on the verge of a multiparty civil war. Three royalist factions, a military dictatorship, and a Communist government have set up in different parts of the country. Our people are safe and so is Paris but beyond that France may be in for another five to ten years of bloody civil war. Freeing the Romanovs would permit some stability in Russia as a new government can rally to them. Without that their deaths are almost certain. A united, friendly Russia will be helpful in keeping our eastern flank safe while even a larger fraction would be more helpful than a hostile, strong Russia at our backs. With civil war there is no doubt we would eventually be drug in somehow. This potentially saves countless German lives, perhaps those of our own children, and undoubtedly brings much needed stability to Europe”.


“This man is a monster, Augustus”, noted Mikhail, “and turning him loose again is a bad idea”.


“He will be a constitutional monarch with his son succeeding him as soon as he comes of age for that exact reason”.


“The sickly boy with the bleeding problem”?, this time from Rafael Schenct, a Bavarian, “The royalty is so inbred that the bizarre diseases are starting to become widespread. I will follow you, sir, but note that there are better opportunites for us to partake”.


“You are free not to go Rafael so long as you remember your oath of silence”.


“Wait a minute”, came a fairly quiet voice in the back, “the dummies with the packs on their backs being tossed off the Eiffel Tower yesterday – does that have something to do with us”?


Karl Cornelius Abst was a minor noble from Oldenberg and very astute. He was also gifted with machinery and negotiations, sort of a ‘scrounger’ and field armorer. “I do not think so, they were testing a means of dropping people out of zeppelins or aircraft…”


“Like way behind enemy lines for surprise attacks”?


Dungerman noted to himself it was possible. He hated heights as much as anyone, and these rumored ‘parachutes’ were improving from the prior death rate of one-in-three, but the prospect was still daunting. “Similar scenarios, yes. I can not say it is entirely out of the picture that we would be asked to use that sort of equipment someday”.


Forty men remained and surprisingly none left at the suggestion of potentially free-falling into the area in question. Hessmer spoke next, “How do we get out of this rat’s nest assuming we actually pull this off and get these people out”?


Dungerman nodded and brought out a map. “Three options. One: Go north via riverboat and a submarine at the Kara Sea, probably the safest exit and also the longest, where His Majesty’s newest submarine U-142 will be waiting to pick us up. Two: Go east and push our way through to Omsk via the rail line, much quicker and still likely to take us a while to get back. Three”, now Dungerman figured there would be trouble, “if we request it we might be able to have a larger Zeppelin on standby in the area”.


“If we request it? So our government would deny our involvement but send one of its most iconic weapons of war for this mission? Hogwash”!, noted Hessmer.


“Actually no, the leading non-communist Russian faction asked for one, if it happens to be on its way there it can do some ‘Reconnaissance in Force’ as it were”.


“And we would be bringing back these Russian lords and ladies back to Germany in a Zeppelin before moving farther afield I presume”?


“They can potentially cross the Atlantic, so a trip of this range to a new Zeppelin field in friendly Prussia would not be out of the question”.


“You know we will have to give up any German weapons we are familiar with as not to leave a trace if we are caught”.


Dungerman made the same point when first asked about such a mission. “Your point is noted. We will bring a mish-mash of weaponry with us, including some nice French, Belgian, and American equipment recently ‘acquired’ during our recent forays”.


“Any more flowery and you would sound like a goddamned recreational director, sir”, the man laughing as Johann Eidelwiess spoke. Humor was his way of dealing with stress and fear, Dungerman let his men joke at his expense as it was part of the reason they followed him so loyally – everyone had a free voice, no one was left for the meat grinder, and everyone came home if only as a shell. “I’ll go”.


One by one the men agreed, giving him forty instead of the twenty-four he had originally hoped for. He passed out little Russian-German phrase books and had his men begin to practice with each other, the more experienced ones teaching intonation to the non-speakers. The American .45 pistols were becoming popular around the world, the Belgian FN Model 1900 rifle gave a good range for an automatic rifle and the French Fusil Automatique 1918 did the same. Mauser had enough of the foreign weapons and suggestions from Dungerman to begin working on new prototypes, a C96 variant with 20-round removable ‘double stack’ magazine in 9mm and another with 14 rounds in the ACP .45, and a new rifle with pistol grip, semiautomatic action, and a 30 round ‘banana’ magazine using some French, some Belgian, and some German engineering, along with thoughts for new anti-ballistic defenses. Departure from the area was still under review, but maybe he could gain inspiration while he was here. “If anyone would like to share ideas for a different exit strategy they will be heard and considered”.
 
This dudes gonna have novels written about him and is gonna show up in school history books. I’m loving this story!
 
Certainly interesting. I just have one note, at this point in time Alexei Romanov's hemophilia was not widely known. At most they would know that there was some sort of health problem and even that is highly unlikely.
 
While if this works the Romanov family will do better than OTL, this sort of escapade is fraught with danger for the Tsarevitch. I wonder if somebody in the bowels of the German Foreign Ministry isn't wondering that if Alexei dies before Nicholas either abdicates, and I expect he will at some point, or even if Alexei is in under a regency for a while, is there an opportunity here. Absent a male heir, the oldest daughter could easily be put on the throne, and I'm sure when the time came a suitable German prince could be found to be her husband...
 
Absent a male heir, the oldest daughter could easily be put on the throne, and I'm sure when the time came a suitable German prince could be found to be her husband...
For extra shits and giggles make her a true descendant of Catherine The Great, which the Germans find out the hard way a decade or two after thinking they've found the perfect pliable puppet.
 
17 April 1918 – Washington, D.C., United States of America

We will also consider Puerto Rico for statehood in the process as well as offer it to Cuba should they want it”.

Hold it. Even with the Platt Amendment, Cuba is not US territory at this point. Are you saying that in this scenario that Wilson's covertly/overtly racist administration would offer statehood to a non-English-speaking, largely non-white, predominantly Catholic sovereign nation? And what incentive(s) would that administration offer?

Also, while I can see going after the Bahamas and Jamaica, and sort of see British Honduras and Guyana, the Falklands and the South Sandwich Islands don't make much sense. Those are definitely a reach.
 
I can't see the USA of 1918 offering statehood to Puerto Rico. The non-white/non-English speaking/Catholic issue was a driver in why the USA made no effort to acquire Cuba after the Span-Am War, and why the US was looking to be in the PI on a less than permanent basis from the get-go. The Bahamas and Bermuda make sense, even though "dusky" as they are close to US coast and maritime transit lanes. Both of these the populations are small, and with Bermuda not too many non-whites. Most of the British Islands in the Caribbean are quite "black" and therefore of dubious desirability.
 
Hold it. Even with the Platt Amendment, Cuba is not US territory at this point. Are you saying that in this scenario that Wilson's covertly/overtly racist administration would offer statehood to a non-English-speaking, largely non-white, predominantly Catholic sovereign nation? And what incentive(s) would that administration offer?

Also, while I can see going after the Bahamas and Jamaica, and sort of see British Honduras and Guyana, the Falklands and the South Sandwich Islands don't make much sense. Those are definitely a reach.

(a) There are actually a few thousand US marines on Cuba outside Guantanamo from 1917 until late 1921. Cuba was eyed for potential annexation but fear of bringing down the tariffs prevented some of it. Nevada lacks some of the motivations of rich Colorodans. Unfortunately for that scenario, however, Colorado will become relevant very soon for unusual reasons.

(b) 'Buy Britain out of our hemisphere if it means every last one of their wretched islands and rocks appearing from the ocean'! Or something like that. Besides, if America has it, Germany doesn't...
 
I can't see the USA of 1918 offering statehood to Puerto Rico. The non-white/non-English speaking/Catholic issue was a driver in why the USA made no effort to acquire Cuba after the Span-Am War, and why the US was looking to be in the PI on a less than permanent basis from the get-go. The Bahamas and Bermuda make sense, even though "dusky" as they are close to US coast and maritime transit lanes. Both of these the populations are small, and with Bermuda not too many non-whites. Most of the British Islands in the Caribbean are quite "black" and therefore of dubious desirability.

Believe it or not such was being advocated in Puerto Rico by a native physician. Said person ended up helping to run that island before they got their own governor. It was also 'Porto Rico' back then but it just seems so wrong to spell it that way...
 
21 April 1918 – London, England

*HIGHEST PRIORITY*

-BURN_AFTER_READING-

-COMMUNIQUE_ORIGIN_EMBASSY_USA-

-MARQUESS_OF_REDDING_:_HMPM-

-MOST_URGENT-



*UNITED_STATES_LIKELY_TO_RATIFY_VICTORIAN_PURCHASE_IN_FOURTEEN_TO_TWENTY-EIGHT_DAYS*

*SENATE_THOUGHT_TO_BE_DIVIDED_ON_ISSUE_AT_54_IN_FAVOR_TO_46_AGAINST*

*HOUSE_OFFERING_COLUMBIA_AMENDMENT_TO_NOT_SEEK_ANNEXATION_OF_REMAINDER_OF_CANADA*

*CONTINUITY_OF_GOVERNMENT_FACILITY_IN_COLORADO_AKA_WESTERN_WHITE_HOUSE_UNDER_CONSTRUCTION*

*FRANCE_REPORTEDLY_OFFERED_UNITED_STATES_WARSHIPS_FOR_SAFEKEEPING_PROVIDED_THEY_ARE_RETURNED*

*SOME_FRENCH_ARCHIVE_CONTENTS_IN_VERY_LARGE_BOXES_NOW_STORED_IN_WASHINGTON_CITY*

*GERMANY_SEEKING_SEPARATE_PEACE_WITH_UNITED_STATES*

*GERMANY_THOUGHT_TO_BE_PLANNING_FOR_EVENTUAL_POSSIBLE_INVASION_OF_UNITED_STATES_BUT_SPECIFICS_UNKNOWN*

*ASKING_FOR_MINIMAL_REPARATIONS_AND_CESSATION_OF_HOSTILITIES*

*MEXICO_GRANTS_PERMISSION_FOR_GERMAN_NAVAL_ACCESS_TO_VERACRUZ_ACAPULCO_GUYAMAS*

*JAPANESE_AMBASSADOR_SEEKING_TRADE_RIGHTS_IN_MEXICO*

*ONTARIO_GOVERNMENT_STATES_THEY_MAY_SECEDE_FROM_COMMONWEALTH_IF_TREATY_APPROVED*

*NO_ADDITIONAL_INFORMATION_AT_THIS_TIME_AND_AWAITING_FURTHER_INSTRUCTIONS*

*STOP*
 
Germany won't get squat from the USA. Mexico granting naval access for Germany is n9t going to work well for them - at this point in time the USA has a large army in the USA which won't be going to Europe, and the Americans in Europe may come back minus some heavy equipment, but it won't be like Dunkirk. Long before Germany can put more than a token force in Mexico the USA can steamroller the place. The HSF can't battle the USN along the East Coast or in the Caribbean, most of the HSF units can't get to the western side of the pond and have enough coal left to do any fighting. On top of the that the USN would outnumber any German fleet and of course is close to home ports and supply. As to Germany invading the USA, has Skippy the ASB learned to speak Hochdeutsch???
 
Germany won't get squat from the USA. Mexico granting naval access for Germany is n9t going to work well for them - at this point in time the USA has a large army in the USA which won't be going to Europe, and the Americans in Europe may come back minus some heavy equipment, but it won't be like Dunkirk. Long before Germany can put more than a token force in Mexico the USA can steamroller the place. The HSF can't battle the USN along the East Coast or in the Caribbean, most of the HSF units can't get to the western side of the pond and have enough coal left to do any fighting. On top of the that the USN would outnumber any German fleet and of course is close to home ports and supply. As to Germany invading the USA, has Skippy the ASB learned to speak Hochdeutsch???
The plans to invade the US are probobly more propaganda that anything else (“look, we have a plan in case they refuse to make peace and we need it!”). The Germany admiralty will be very aware of the extremely low chance of such an invasion succeeding. I agree that Mexico making such a deal with Germany is out of the blue and makes no sense.
 
23 April 1918 – near Munich, Germany

Four loud knocks rang against the stout wooden door that Dungerman could only hear being rattled. Whoever held his shoulder was rather stout himself, the meaty palm almost covering his entire shoulder with fingers almost two-thirds of the way down his pectoral muscle. Blindfolded, hooded, and placed with a rope about his neck, he was led down a corridor like a stray dog on a chain. He had partaken of the services of a local woman of the night when he was knocked out only to awaken in a stone antechamber with three large men looming over him, one of whom had a rope and two of whom carried C.96 Mausers. The largest man proceeded to place the impediments over his head and neck and he followed along – if he was wanted as dead that would have happened already. Down a long hallway they went before making a series of turns and going down yet more stairs, they were certainly underground but after descending at least another six flights they had to be in either a set of older catacombs or a cave, he thought. Almost no other sound than the footprints was audible, the soft walking noise setting a rhythm as they continued to walk almost endlessly down the hallways. With time the hallways were heard to narrow, eventually tapering into one so small they could barely walk two abreast and ending at this door.

A loud voice came from behind the door. “Hello”.

Creepy, thought Dungerman, as three more knocks ensued. This time there was no answer, but after what seemed a near-eternity of silence the heavy door opened. Salt was in the air, and a lot of it, almost enough to make the nose crinkle. He was led inside to a large wooden seat, an unusually comfortable one, and heard the distinct ‘rack-rack’ of a machine gun with a swivel apparently pointed his way.

“Forgive the theatrics, young man, but there are things we must know”. The voice was soothing, calm, but hard and serious all the same. “Answer honestly please, any indication that you are lying or change in answer results in your death. We can not afford to be too careful, you see”. Dungerman almost recognized the voice, but he could not place it or its owner.

“I understa…”

A mailed fist hit him square in the jaw and nearly knocked him out again, the ‘crunch’ he heard in his head followed a taste of more than a little blood. He decided not to say much else but could feel his mouth start to fill with the red salty liquid.

“Now then, seven questions. First, are you prepared to give your life for Germany if needed”?

Dungerman said nothing, the dribble of blood starting to form out the side of his mouth from the overflow prompted a cloth to begin patting down his face as the question was repeated. “Yes”.

“Will you defend the lives of those present with your own regardless of your resources, skills, personal disagreements, or danger to your own family”?

“Yes”. Dungerman hoped he would not regret that since he had little idea who he was dealing with.

“On the lives of your family will you swear your allegiance above that of your own hearth, home, family, and loved ones”?

“Yes”. Again, Dungerman hoped he would not regret the answer.

“On the lives of your family will you give aid and shelter to those present without question or hesitation should they be identified as bretheren”?

“Yes”.

“On the lives of your family will you aid us in our quest to keep Germany out of the hands of those who would use her for their own interests beyond those of her Emperor and ultimately her people”?

“Yes”.

“On the lives of your family will you seek out those who would threaten our fatherland by any means necessary, discarding chivalry and the rules of war if necessary, to achieve your ends”?

“Yes”

“Finally”, the voice softened somewhat, “would you like to see the faces of those who share your new allegiance, brother Augustus”?

As the hood was lifted and the rope came undone, the light in the room was brighter than originally expected. With the blindfold removed, there was indeed a large machine gun aimed straight at him from less than ten meters away. In front and off to the side was a man in heavy robes but whose face was easily visible. Of the fifteen men seated at the large round table in front of him, he was probably the only man present not of a grand ducal rank or more save the large men who brought him here. “Welcome to the Order of St. Michael, Brother”, came the voice, “and welcome to our salt cathedral”.

“Why did you bring me here”?

“Easy”, came a voice from the table, “we need your help and had no other way to do this”. Faces at the table were not visible but voices were distinct. “Prussian generals rule the nation now, there is only a fraction of the power needed to challenge them but they plan already for the next war. Even now they intend to begin construction of a large navy with which to achieve their dream: Operation Octopus”.

“And what is that”?

“Honestly we have no clear idea, but that is one of the things we want you to help us with upon your return from Russia”.

“And how do you know I am going to Russia”?

“We know many things as will you in time. For now, remember only these three”, a large hand pushing a pin in the shape of a ram’s horn into his hand as he felt the large lump behind it, “anyone bearing that pin is to be helped as though they were your own brother or sister. And likewise bring that pin to any of us and you shall be treated the same. Second, you will be given resources to direct development of new strategies and tactics between now and the next war, so do not be surprised if you receive title and land in the days ahead. And third”, Dungerman was lifted out of his chair as he was motioned back towards the lone door, “don’t worry about contacting us, we will come to you when the time is right”. With that a sudden *thwack* against his neck knocked Dungerman out cold. It was only upon awakening in the back of a carriage with his clothes on and money in his pockets that he realized the sun was just starting to rise, he could see what appeared to be Munich in the distance and he was to catch the 7:30 train east…he would make it but only just, later being told the train had been held specifically for him but no one would acknowledge whoever gave that order…
 
Germany won't get squat from the USA. Mexico granting naval access for Germany is n9t going to work well for them - at this point in time the USA has a large army in the USA which won't be going to Europe, and the Americans in Europe may come back minus some heavy equipment, but it won't be like Dunkirk. Long before Germany can put more than a token force in Mexico the USA can steamroller the place. The HSF can't battle the USN along the East Coast or in the Caribbean, most of the HSF units can't get to the western side of the pond and have enough coal left to do any fighting. On top of the that the USN would outnumber any German fleet and of course is close to home ports and supply. As to Germany invading the USA, has Skippy the ASB learned to speak Hochdeutsch???

Asking for something and getting it are two very different things, especially if you don't want to pay your own token reparations.

And there were a lot of German speakers in the US around this time...but that doesn't mean they are (all) loyal to Berlin
 
The plans to invade the US are probobly more propaganda that anything else (“look, we have a plan in case they refuse to make peace and we need it!”). The Germany admiralty will be very aware of the extremely low chance of such an invasion succeeding. I agree that Mexico making such a deal with Germany is out of the blue and makes no sense.

They actually had plans to invade the US from at least 1901 onwards, and most major powers have plans to invade the other major powers. And there is a reason for the Mexico piece, but that's for later.
 
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