EXT. A HIGHWAY. DAY.I thought the idea wasn't good for an AH timeline but it was fucking great for a buddy comedy.
I mean come on, Hendrix and Paul, just add a plot that in itself is mildly humorous and you've got comedy gold.
A massively pregnant woman stands on the roadside, in front of a smoking, broken down car. She waves offscreen.
WOMAN: Ek het hulp nodig! Asseblief!
Slowly, a hulking tour bus pulls into frame, stopping in front of the woman. The door hisses open.
JIMI: Hi. I'm Jimi Hendrix.
CUT. INT. A DOCTOR'S OFFICE. DAY.
JIMI and a roadie is wheeling the huffing woman into the office on top of a rolling speaker.
JIMI: Hey! We need a doctor out here!
A doctor sticks his head out from a room.
DOCTOR: I'm a doctor. Doctor Ron Paul.
JIMI: Are you experienced?
CUT. INT. DAY. RON PAUL'S OFFICE.
RON: Your friend is fine, but she was very difficult to calm down. Mr. Hendrix, how well do you know this woman?
JIMI: I just met her, man.
RON: And would you happen to know what these are?
RON opens his hand, revealing several large gold coins.
RON: She handed them to me before the delivery. She was quite insistant.
JIMI: Are those gold?!
RON: Not just any gold. Krugerrands. Purestrain gold Krugerrands.
CUT. INT. DAY. THE ENTRY HALLWAY TO THE CLINIC.
A team of masked men burst in, yelling and firing AK-47s. They kick in doors until they find the room they're looking for. Seconds later, several of the men come out, wheeling the frantic woman.
CUT. INT. DAY. RON PAUL'S OFFICE.
One of the masked men bursts in the door, instantly training his gun on RON, who raises his hands in fear. Suddenly, JIMI steps out from behind the door, leading with a guitar which smashes into the man's face.
CUT. INT. DAY. RON PAUL'S OFFICE.
RON and JIMI are hunched over the groaning man.
MAN: You ... soon your kind will be in their place.
CUT. EXT. DAY. TEXAS DESERT.
RON and JIMI cower behind a cactus.
JIMI: Do you hear me man?! These motherfuckers are building a time machine!
RON: What!?
A man pops up from behind a boulder, firing at our heros, who take off down a dune.
CUT. EXT. A DESERT CLIFF.
JIMI lies bloodied on the ground, precariously close to the cliff's edge, as the EVIL RINGLEADER paces in front of him. The prone body of RON lies in the background.
EVIL RINGLEADER: Yes, Mr. Hendrix. Soon we shall return to the days of your Civil War, and provide the Confederacy with these.
The man hefts an AK-47.
EVIL RINGLEADER: Where will you and your band of gypsies be then?
RON: Hey pal!
The Evil Ringleader whirls around in shock.
EVIL RINGLEADER: How?!
RON holds up a pocket constitution. Inside it is lodged a single bullet.
RON: Guns don't kill people. I do.
RON delivers a roundhouse kick to the face of the EVIL RINGLEADER, who plummets to his death off the cliff.
EXT. DAY. A MILITARY AIRFIELD.
RON: Look! We'll take that!
He is pointing to a blimp.
JIMI: I'm getting too old for this shit.
To the strains of VOODOO CHILD, a stream of quick action-packed cuts.
TERRORISTS drive in jeeps underneath the blimp, firing in the air and yelling in Afrikaans.
JIMI HENDRIX
JIMI wails on a guitar as TERRORISTS writhe in agony in front of enormous speakers.
DOCTOR RON PAUL
RON dives sideways, firing a pistol in each hand. Doves fly in the background.
THIS SUMMER
RON and JIMI stand back to back, surrounded by a band of TERRORIST NINJAS.
IN
RON and JIMI walk slowly towards the camera as the blimp crashes into the ground in a fiery explosion behind them.
CROSSTIME TRAFFIC
EXT. DAY. THE DESERT.
RON: No, see, the butterfly flaps its wings in China, and it causes a hurricane in Louisiana. So if you change the timeline -
JIMI: Man, I don't care about some Mothra-ass hurricane butterfly! We got time-traveling motherfuckers with machine guns here! They will fuck that butterfly up!
COMING SOON