So it's not going to be an equal battering in each direction, it's going to be ten or twenty times as much shot going one way as going the other (I have seen it worked out based on actual armaments of the ships concerned, including in the last few pages of this thread, but cannot immediately find it while on my phone).
Even if the weapons mounted have equal capabilities, which I'm not sure they do, the massive disparity in weight of shot would be decisive. If you have hit your opponent's ship twice, and they have hit your smaller ship forty times, who do you think is the likely winner?
Monitor one shot per fifteen minutes per gun, two guns.
Warrior one shot per minute per gun, thirteen 68-lber and 5 110-lber per broadside.
So forty times for twice is actually an underestimation - it's more like (15 x 13) = 220 AP shots going one way for every two shots going the other way. You could have twenty times the shots going one way as the other if
Warrior's gun crew operated their guns once every five minutes instead of once every 55 seconds.
Using a gun on
Monitor with a lighter shot will reduce this disparity (as it would be easier to load), using a heavier gun will increase this. (The 20" guns intended for
Puritan would have had a rate of fire of perhaps one shot per half hour per gun.)
And - again - we know that the 11" Dahlgren gun (
Monitor's main armament) could not penetrate 4.5" forged iron (let alone rolled) with the muzzle pressed against the iron, from Dahlgren's experiments.
What we do not know is if the 68-lber could make a full penetration of the turret of
Monitor with steel bolts and battering charges - but we do know that
Monitor's armour was unusually brittle for iron armour, and we also know (see above) that the rate of fire of
Warrior's guns was enormously higher in aggregate than that of the
Monitor.
As such, we can reasonably extrapolate that
Monitor would find her turret battered easily hard enough to rack off individual plates and jam the turret at some point during any battle she did not flee from in short order.
If the 11" batters
Warrior, on the other hand, the result will be some minor damage to the plate. A cast iron cannonball (which is most of what
Monitor was armed with that wasn't shell) would shatter on impact, and a forged iron projectile (
Monitor had a few of these) would not but would - as we've seen - not penetrate.
Certainly it's hard to see how a non-penetrating 11" hit or two would significantly impair
Warrior's fighting capability - even if
Monitor's guns scored nothing but direct hits on the guns, it would still take her one and a half hours to render
Warrior's port broadside unfightable.
Indeed, the RoF of
Monitor is sufficiently poor that it suggests she could be defeated by three gunboats even with direct fatal hits for every shot - the gunboat which survives could just board her.
Monitor is a bold experiment, and an impressive technical achievement. But she's just not a very good warship by the standard of naval powers of the time - her one standout feature is her immunity to hot shot, and that's something all ironclads have unless they're rather poorly built.