How effective would a Landkreuzer be?

Sir Chaos

Banned
here more realistic design how the P1500 had look like

Did I just read "P1500" and "realistic" in the same sentence?

Who needs diesel when you've got coal?:rolleyes:

These are the Nazis we´re talking about. They´ll probably order slave laborers to pull this this, portage style.

800px-Yermak_Timofeyevich_and_his_band_of_adventurers_crossing_the_Ural_Mountains_at_Tagil%2C_entering_Asia_from_Europe.jpg
 
What about something bigger? The greatest (land) machine of war ever designed, the landkreuzer P1500 monster?

tank.JPG

It was so big that even the P1000 looks small close to it

You know, if nobody's done a P1500 vs Godzilla story, I might just have to give it a try.
 
I have to say, wtf would you use the p. 1500 against? Firing rate slow, anything it would hit destroyed, but so what. The most massive target on land you could wish for, would draw bombers like flies to shit.
 
You know, if nobody's done a P1500 vs Godzilla story, I might just have to give it a try.


GODZILLA vs Nazis!

Watch Godzilla fights the greatest gun ever made by the nazis from antartica!

THE P1500 LANDKREUZER! So big that it took over 60 years to bring it from antartica to japan!
 
The Land Cruiser would be quite effective. You can seat seven, drive off road, has a great infotainment system, hooks up straight to your I-Pod, has surprisingly good highway MPG...
 
He sat on the rock and stared at the horizon. Somewhere artillery was thundering away. Tommies, by the sound of it, with those damned belt-fed 25-lbers again. Then he looked up again. No Jabos. Not yet, anyway.

Hearing the sound of swearing diminish a little he walked over to the side of the Landkreuzer and then peered into the hatch. “Well?”

“Sorry sir, the engine should be repaired in a moment or two.” The sergeant wiped his hands on a bit of rag and then looked at him worriedly. “They haven’t changed their minds about taking the flak guns off the top of this thing have they?”

“No.”

“Damn it.” He sighed. “Right. We’re ready sir.”

He nodded wearily and then walked around to the front of the wretched thing. “Start him up Kranz.”

“Yes sir.” A giant red button was pushed and after a moment the huge engine roared into life. “It’s working sir!”

“Get him into gear!”

“Um… yes sir.” There was a groaning noise and then the Landkreuzer crept forward three inches, before there was an almighty bang underneath.

“Damn it, what now?” He walked back to the hatch and then peered in. The sergeant could be seen opening an inspection hatch on the floor. He looked in, swore violently and then closed it again. “It’s buggered sir. Clutch exploded again.”

“What again?”

“Yes sir.”

“How long to repair it?”

“Two days at the factory.”

“Right.” He sighed and then walked to the other end of the Landkreuzer, where a bored looking man was standing with a clipboard. “We’re returning this thing to the factory.”

The man sighed. “You signed for it earlier, you can’t send it back again.”

“I signed for a functioning vehicle. We’ve travelled six feet in six days, during which time we’ve blown two clutches, a drive shaft and three sets of tracks. All to go six feet. And it’s not left the bloody factory.”

“The front of the vehicle is outside the doors, so you’re out of the factory!”

“No it’s not, it’s still in!”

“Strictly speaking it's out, as-”

“Oh shut up and repair it again.” He paused and sniffed. Smoke was pouring out of one of the hatches and he saw the sergeant hurriedly get out of the Landcreuzer. “What’s wrong now?”

“It’s on fire again sir.”

“Bugger – well, put it out again. That’s the third time today.”

“Yes sir.”

He looked back at the man with the clipboard. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“It keeps breaking down and catching fire!”

“Yes, but it’s a war-winning weapon. Have the Amis got anything like it? Have the Reds?”

“No, but it’s useless if it doesn’t bloody work!”

“We’ll patch it up, you’ll be in Paris in a week!”

“It took us a week to get the nose of the damn thing out the door!”

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose for a long moment. At which point there was a ‘schonk’ noise and something groaned inside the giant vehicle. “What now?”

“Secondary backup main gun just fell off again sir.”

“Well, stick it back on again.”

“Can’t, we’ve run out of string sir.”

He looked up at the heavens. And then he sighed and finally gave up. He turned and trudged over to the knot of fascinated men in khaki who had been there all morning. “Alright. I give up. We surrender.”

“Are you sure? We could give you a little more time,” said the British Major.

“No, you’ve been more than fair. It was a bloody silly idea from the start anyway. Takes hours to load the main gun for a start. And as it’s currently pointing towards Hamburg there’s no point in firing it even if it was loaded. You have to turn the entire bloody thing to aim it.” He paused. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I think that someone said that there’s a plan to drop it on Tokyo and end the war.”

He thought about it. “Yes, that should probably do the job.”
 
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I have to say, wtf would you use the p. 1500 against? Firing rate slow, anything it would hit destroyed, but so what. The most massive target on land you could wish for, would draw bombers like flies to shit.
It's not really a tank - it's a version of the 80cm railway gun that isn't tied to rails. As such, it's more useful than the railway gun... but not by much.
Truth be told the Allies just have to get near a coastline for a battleship vs Landkreuzer duel.
That's more or less the only thing the Landkreuzer is any good for.
 
It's not really a tank - it's a version of the 80cm railway gun that isn't tied to rails. As such, it's more useful than the railway gun... but not by much.

More useful in theory, at least. In practice I think moving a railway gun around is a lot less hassle, even if it is essentially tied to the rails.


That's more or less the only thing the Landkreuzer is any good for.

For the steel and effort of building two Landkreuzers I think the Germans could build a small monitor/coastal defence ship mounting the same amount of weapons, if not more. That would be a lot more useful against any Allied naval units than those two Landkreuzers could ever be. Or, for the same token, use that steel and those guns for the static defences of the Atlantic Wall. It might not help much, but at least it would not be just simply retarded in the way building the damn Ratte would be.
 
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For the steel and effort of building two Landkreuzers I think the Germans could build a small monitor/coastal defence ship mounting the same amount of weapons, if not more. That would be a lot more useful against any Allied naval units than those two Landkreuzers could ever be. Or, for the same token, use that steel and those guns for the static defences of the Atlantic Wall. It might not help much, but at least it would not be just simply retarded in the way building the damn Ratte would be.

For reference of this, anyone can check the work done by the german navy, doing naval bombardement in the Baltic, or the UK's monitors off Belgium (WWI) or in the Med, in 42-43.
 
For the steel and effort of building two Landkreuzers I think the Germans could build a small monitor/coastal defence ship mounting the same amount of weapons, if not more. That would be a lot more useful against any Allied naval units than those two Landkreuzers could ever be. Or, for the same token, use that steel and those guns for the static defences of the Atlantic Wall. It might not help much, but at least it would not be just simply retarded in the way building the damn Ratte would be.
Not saying it's good enough to be worth the cost, just that it's the only thing I can think of where the Ratte wouldn't be a complete liability. :p
 
I believe it was supposed to have a Flak system to shield it against aircraft. And a special fighter detachment. In any case, very unwieldy. But a valid psychological weapon. It could crush a defense line on its own and make everyone in the trenches flee. Best case for Germans- the victim of its rampage decides it must counter the Landkreuzer with a monster of its own. And thus the Allies and/or Soviets get to waste resources.
 
I believe it was supposed to have a Flak system to shield it against aircraft. And a special fighter detachment. In any case, very unwieldy. But a valid psychological weapon. It could crush a defense line on its own and make everyone in the trenches flee. Best case for Germans- the victim of its rampage decides it must counter the Landkreuzer with a monster of its own. And thus the Allies and/or Soviets get to waste resources.


If it turns up at night it is the Royal Air Force, if it turns up in the day it is the Ami Air Force and if it does not turn up at all it is the Luftwaffe.

Worse though the monster while a big target is challenging to armour. Apparently the armour was supposed to come in at 200 tonnes oh and include the frame...ah yes good luck with that. The weight allocation there is about enough for the frame without any armour. If you want to stick armour on you are going to add weight fast and worse you can have an extremely heavy beast without actually having sufficient protection on any one spot as happened to the T-35. Saphroneth addressed some of the conceptual problems with that above.

In addition the super broad tracks designed to allow a theoretically low ground pressure would make for absolutely enormous friction...Cymraeg was not joking when he described the gear box exploding, having a laugh yes but not joking, twenty five tonne AFVs can do horrible things to their gears in an unexpected patch of mud, a thousand tonne monster would be a nightmare and it would not come in at a thousand tonnes.

Take the power supply, obviously designed by naval engineers used to moving through water. Water is notable for being slippy. Land movement across ground is notable for being grippy. This makes a big huge difference (that is big multiplied by huge). A boat of one thousand tonnes just needs to turn one small propeller and the whole thing goes. The Landkruezer would need to turn many wheels at once with a distinct possibility it might not go at all.

The calculation behind the thing were borked from the beginning as someone suggested this was just a cunning scheme to preserve future car, washing machine and power station designers as in no way would it have resulted in a viable weapon.

Oh and the bastards called it a rat :mad:....that is an insult to rodents!
 
I believe it was supposed to have a Flak system to shield it against aircraft. And a special fighter detachment. In any case, very unwieldy. But a valid psychological weapon. It could crush a defense line on its own and make everyone in the trenches flee. Best case for Germans- the victim of its rampage decides it must counter the Landkreuzer with a monster of its own. And thus the Allies and/or Soviets get to waste resources.

Hmm....maybe they could put wheels on a mulberry harbour and just have it drive really fast at the landkreuzer?
 
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