History Discussion: "You blew it! You had one job, and you blew it!" Moments in history

[Aluma]

Here's a personal one:
Pombal
Not only for his terrible philosophy(the infame "Pombal's wager") but also for ordering portuguese to be the only legal language in the brazilian territory and the suppression of the natives.
Thanks to him among some other people we got the extermination of the newborn brazilian culture as the tupi-guarani tribes were persecuted rather than integrated and priests who tried to protect them also got killed off.
That also estabilished the wonderful precedent of the law suppressing if not outright banishing non-portuguese languages from people that came here either as a result of slavery or immigration. As afro-americans, germans, italians and the asian communities in Brazil can tell ya.
Had he..I dunno, died? Brazil would be EVEN MORE diverse with a larger surviving jesuit-native community much like that of Paraguay influencing the developement of the brazilian culture & language while foreign communities in the country would suffer much less discrimination in the following periods and make a much larger cultural impact as their forms of expressions arent being actively repressed by the government.
Guy pretty much aborted a thriving new culture and I'll never forgive him for that.

 

[Aluma]

About Hitler
While he didnt have a high school degree, I'm sure he could have exploited a flaw in the system like he did to get in the german army had he truly wanted to be an architect, which would be likely if he was approved by the art school as he would actually look up to the people there who told him he'd do well as one, plus that would have given him enough material to do so
"Dont worry about my high school years, dont you know I'm from a prestigious austrian university? They would never allow me there without a degree! I dont have it with me right now but it's pretty obvious I'm a educated man as you can see from my scores, I'm sure you can let me in"
Bam, artist & architect, too busy to get into politics and likely meeting too many people from other ethnicities to go full racist nuts

 

[Talus I of Dixie]

There are certain moments in history, where the course of history was decided by the actions of one person or one group. It can either be a general who failed at a military leader, or a monarch who failed to be a good ruler, or messenger failing at his job, or a doctor who failed to save a life, or an assassin who failed to kill the target, or soldiers killing the wrong guy, etc. Any action has consequences for the future.

What is one moment in history, where someone or some people had a chance to alter the course of history and failed so miserably, that makes you just exclaim outload "You blew it! You had one job, and you blew it!"?

Wladyslaw in the Battle of Varna, and right then he did have only one job, THEY WERE WINNING.

 

[Mort the Reaper]

Let's say you get advance warning about an attack by an enemy, and later on some militiamen attack one of our outposts. Do you:

A. Decide to keep your guard up just in case, or

B. Assume no further attacks are imminent and let your troops party through the night?

If you chose B, you may be Johann Rall on the night before the Battle of Trenton.

 

[wcv215]

If you chose B, you may be Johann Rall on the night before the Battle of Trenton.

No, he didn’t. He didn’t expect further resistance, but his men were not partying. “ "I am certain not a drop of liquor was drunk during the whole night, nor, as I could see, even a piece of bread eaten."”

JEB Stuart ignoring orders to remain in contact with the main army during the Gettysburg Campaign left Lee blind to Union movements; had he followed orders

He did follow orders. Lee gave bad orders.

 

[TJSwoboda]

To unnamed arts teacher in Vienna:

That teen who is not good at drawing portraits of people does a good job of painting statics like buildings and flower vases. Don't disparage him for his talents not being in "up with the times".

Or he will start a world war, so could you please do us a favor and defuse that bomb?

That’s not cool. I laughed, but that’s not cool.

 

[Pesterfield]

Another island one, Charles Elliot giving up Zhoushan and taking Hong Kong instead.

A potentially big one from somebody with literally one job to do, John Parker leaving his post when Lincoln was at Ford's theater.

 

[Kerney]

Quintus Varus: Go on a camping trip in the forest for a few days, with three legions of bodyguards, deal with some local trouble and come home safely.

Lady Jane Grey: New years resolution for 1553.; Just say no!

 

[Nyegosh]

Didnt he recommend Adolf apply to the architectural school?

Yeah, but Hitler was basically too poor at that point, and when he got enough money, things got out of hand because the entire society was a basket case

 

[DAv]

The assassination of Iyasu I of Ethiopia by his own son Tekle Haymanot AFTER he had abdicated the throne and retired to a monastery in the middle of nowhere. He was like 60 years old and had no interest of ruling and his murder pretty much ruined the centralization of his predecessors.

Was Tekle just that paranoid or something about his father having second thoughts? Seems a bit extreme to say the least.

 

[TheLionOfJudah]

Was Tekle just that paranoid or something about his father having second thoughts? Seems a bit extreme to say the least.

Yeah as were his ministers. Even though there was a precedent for Emperors retiring for over A MILENNIUM.

Words cannot describe my disdain for him and the fact that he is my direct ancestor makes me ashamed to live.

 

[wcv215]

For my part I'd put down Varro, who took a 2-1 numerical advantage, and through sheer incompetence managed to get his army surrounded and then slaughtered. Sure Hannibal was a brilliant commander, but Varro's deployment was such a colossal fustercluck that he literally couldn't have made Hannibal's job easier if he TRIED.

And in the vein of what I said above, Robert E. Lee's ENTIRE 1863 campaign into Pennsylvania was a damning indictment of his abilities at anything beyond immediate tactics, and the final day of Gettysburg is a damning indictment of those too. People mock Burnside for what happened at Fredericksburg, but compared to Lee ordering Picket's Charge Burnside was a goddamn genius. Burnside had actual tactical reasons for his decision, in particular his fear that another part of his force would be destroyed if he didn't press forward at that point, and (even more on the nose) he hadn't just watched it fail spectacularly less than year before. Lee's job was to maintain his army, and he instead decided that sending fifteen thousand men on a mission to send as many of them to get killed as possible for NO GODDAMN REASON.

Talleyrand, who managed to start a naval war with the United States out of nothing but incompetence, greed, and stupidity.

 

[Hawabin]

Talleyrand, who managed to start a naval war with the United States out of nothing but incompetence, greed, and stupidity.

I have never heard someone call Talleyrand incompetent and stupid?

 

[Vinization]

Here's a personal one:
Pombal
Not only for his terrible philosophy(the infame "Pombal's wager") but also for ordering portuguese to be the only legal language in the brazilian territory and the suppression of the natives.
Thanks to him among some other people we got the extermination of the newborn brazilian culture as the tupi-guarani tribes were persecuted rather than integrated and priests who tried to protect them also got killed off.
That also estabilished the wonderful precedent of the law suppressing if not outright banishing non-portuguese languages from people that came here either as a result of slavery or immigration. As afro-americans, germans, italians and the asian communities in Brazil can tell ya.
Had he..I dunno, died? Brazil would be EVEN MORE diverse with a larger surviving jesuit-native community much like that of Paraguay influencing the developement of the brazilian culture & language while foreign communities in the country would suffer much less discrimination in the following periods and make a much larger cultural impact as their forms of expressions arent being actively repressed by the government.
Guy pretty much aborted a thriving new culture and I'll never forgive him for that.

Hey @Lusitania, what do you think of this?

Here's my contribution:

1. Darius III fleeing at Gaugamela, even though the battle was still winnable at that point.
2. Khosrau II's decision to execute his uncles Vinduyih and Vistahm, who saved his life when Bahram Chobin rose to power. Said decision ignited a civil war that weakened the Sasanian empire even further.
3. Moctezuma II not killing Hernán Cortés the moment he and his allies entered Tenochtitlan, even though there was plenty of evidence showing how dangerous they were.
4. The Aztecs letting the Spanish and Tlaxcalans slip through their fingers at the Noche Triste.

 

[wcv215]

I have never heard someone call Talleyrand incompetent and stupid?

What else would you call someone who bumbles into a naval war because they won’t pay him a bribe? A bribe to start negotiations to avoid a war note. While your country is ALREADY at war with everyone nearby.

 

[Aluma]

The trojan elephant in the room here:

Alaksandu of Wilusa & Attarsiya of Ahhiyawa

We know for a fact that Attarsiya(Atreus for friends) kickstarted the greek-hittite wars as the first conflict recorded between the two by the later refer to him by name
And if there's any truth to the myth then Alaksandu(Paris for friends) led to yet another conflict between the achaeans & their allies and the anatolian city-states
So yeah, based on the current evidence these two are responsible for setting up the destruction of Mycenaean Greece and the Hittite Anatolia during the Bronze Age collapse
Also if it's true that the philistines were greek vassals before the collapse and migrated to the Levant when it happened then I can blame all the bs that happened in Canaan between them and the israelites on those two as well

I'm also certainly not happy my name is any bit similar to his

 

[edgeworthy]

Commander John Miller Ayde of His Majesty's Ship Partridge.

One job, keep an eye on the Island of Elba.

 

[AltoRegnant]

I feel like the 4th crusade would have gone a bit better if venice had gotten Innocent to promise stuff, ya know, egypt

 

[Aluma]

"When the Yellow Turban Rebellion broke out in 184, an official Zhang Jun (張鈞) wrote a memorial to Emperor Ling, blaming the Ten Attendants and their relatives and associates for the corruption that fuelled the grievances which led to the rebellion. He urged Emperor Ling to execute the Ten Attendants and make it known throughout the Han Empire, so as to appease the common people's anger.

When Emperor Ling showed the eunuchs the memorial, they removed their hats and shoes, knelt down, begged the emperor to imprison them and expressed their willingness to donate their wealth to fund the army in quelling the rebellion. The emperor ordered them to put on their hats and shoes, and continue with what they were doing previously. He then chided Zhang Jun, "You're mad! Are there no good ones among the Ten Attendants?"

In 185, when a fire broke out in the southern part of the imperial palace, the Ten Attendants suggested to Emperor Ling to levy a tax of ten maces from every mu of farmland to raise funds for rebuilding the palace. Emperor Ling then ordered the officials in Taiyuan (太原), Hedong (河東) and Didao (狄道) commanderies to transport wood and patterned rocks to Luoyang (the imperial capital) as construction materials. When the shipments reached the palace, the eunuchs who received them scolded the labourers for delivering materials of poor quality, and insisted on paying them far below market prices – to as low as a tenth of the market price. They then resold the materials to other eunuchs, who refused to buy. Over time, the accumulated piles of wood started decaying. The construction works were thus delayed for years. In order to please Emperor Ling, some regional officials levied heavier taxes and forced the people to produce greater quantities of construction materials – this led to greater resentment from the common people.

Emperor Ling often said, "Regular Attendant Zhang (Rang) is my father, Regular Attendant Zhao (Zhong) is my mother." As the eunuchs were highly trusted and favoured by Emperor Ling, they behaved lawlessly and abused their power. They even built lavish mansions for themselves in the same design as the imperial palace. When Emperor Ling once visited Yong'anhou Platform (永安侯臺), a high viewing platform, the eunuchs were worried that he would see their mansions and become suspicious. Thus, they told him, "Your Majesty shouldn't put yourself on higher ground. If you do so, the people will scatter." The emperor believed them and stopped visiting high towers and viewing platforms.

Emperor Ling appointed cavalry officers to serve as his messengers whenever he issued orders for things to be delivered to Luoyang. These officers, known as zhongshi (中使; "central emissaries"), abused their power by forcing the regional officials, who were afraid of them, to give them bribes. The appointment of officials below the position of Inspector (刺史) was decided by the amount of money they could pay to fund the army and palace construction. Before assuming office, these officials had to undergo an assessment to determine their "value". Some who could not afford the required amount committed suicide, while others who refused to take up their appointments were forced into accepting.

Around the time, there was one Sima Zhi (司馬直), who had been newly appointed as the Administrator (太守) of Julu Commandery (鉅鹿郡). As he had a reputation for being an honest official, he was required to pay less – three million maces. Upon receiving the order, he lamented, "I should be like a parent to the common people, but I have been forced to exploit them to satisfy (the Emperor's) needs. I can't bear to do this." He attempted to resign, claiming that he was ill, but his request was denied. When he reached Meng Ford (孟津) near Luoyang, he wrote a memorial to point out all the problems with the government and cite historical examples to warn the emperor. He then committed suicide by consuming poison. After reading Sima Zhi's memorial, Emperor Ling temporarily stopped collecting funds for rebuilding the palace, but quickly resumed his construction projects later. "

From the Wikipedia page on Emperor Ling and the Ten Attendants
Bad decision after bad decision
Needless to say they doomed the Han dynasty and led China to a period of endless war

 

[Curtain Jerker]

Not really one single moment but hundreds of thousands (at least) would have lived longer lives if Luigi Cardona and Enver Pasha hadn't joined their country's respective armies.