Hammer's, Sickle's, and Mushroom Clouds. the Story of the Reverse Cold War

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"Bez Buldırabız!"

Popular campaign slogan for newly elected President Rustam Minnikhanov


Chapter 39: June 9, 2006 (Strasbourg, Federal Republic of France)- November 5, 2008 (Petrograd, Russia)
A Miracle on Both Sides or: Why too much Tainan is not good for you!


The Summer Miracle - New Love for France

Sixty-one years after the death knell for the Nasi French regime and thirty-four years after the Olympic Games were hosted in Strasbourg and overshadowed by a radical African Supremacist terrorist attack by "Black September" against the Israeli team, France, now in its united form, was once again the host of a major sports event: The VFV Fußball-Weltmeisterschaft (VFV World Cup), as it is officially called.

France had won the right to host six years earlier, even before the last, and frequently disastrously viewed, VFV World Cup which had, to the unpopularity of many, been hosted in North Italy and Greece. The VFV (temporarily?) abolished joint hostings after this.

Many people were skeptical, but many also were quite optimistic about France's ability to present itself in a positive light on this occasion, six decades after Geymere completely and utterly ruined the reputation of France and the country ended up divided.

As, contrary to the World Cup that had already been hosted in North France in 1974 which suffered a bit from constant cloudy and rainy weather (including the infamous "Battle of the Calais Rain" between China and Yugoslavia in the match for third place), the weather was sunny and hot, and stable, this World Cup became one of the best and most celebrated in history! France presented itself as, at the same time, sufficiently patriotic when their own team played and sufficiently friendly to other teams, especially to Africans and Southeast Asians, so that the motto of this World Cup, "La Monde - Bien Recevu", could become reality.

On the sports side of the event, France also did well, only dropping out in the semifinals against the winner of the World Cup, the Republic of Czechoslovakia. In the second semifinal, Scotland lost against the Ottoman Empire, meaning that France could take third place in a clear 3-1 victory over Scotland. In the final, however, for only the second time in the history of the VFV World Cup (the first time being 1994, when the event was hosted in Russia), penalties had to decide - and Abdurrahman Tasköprü's shot it was, hitting the crossbar and going out again into the field that, in conjunction with the goal after this shot by Frantisek Dzujla, made the Republic of Czechoslovakia win its third World Cup overall.

Not a Special Offer: Two Malis for the Price of Three - and 500,000 Lives on Top

TPL99 said:
Mali’s civil war had started in 2006 with the beginning showing the strongest advance of the SRAA (Social Revolutionary Army of Azawad) south. The Azawadi army had facilities and took important cities such as Timbuktu (April) and Gao (July) due to the direct fighting in the south between the Malian regimes.

The fighting continued and Moussa Traoré’s regime directly recieved Russian armed support and began to advance on Federation cities. This was confirmed by the government's victory on Diema in August.

International representatives, in late 2006, agreed to intervene in Mali, and when first soldiers went there, they for the first time saw the misery that Mali's people were living through. A Council of Nations report noted that about 300,000 people were dying of starvation and disease due to war. Such tragic statistics caused global outrage. This public outrage led to the Red Cross sending humanitarian aid, which often was interfered with by the regime of Colonel Touré, which outraged the international community even more. And so it began to demand international action.

The Council of Nations was divided, with the Russians, Ottomans and Germans in favor of invasion; and Americans and Brazilians against. The intervention in Mali was authorized by the Security Council (CoNSC) and officially declared on September 29, 2006 by President Valentin V. Pavlov. Over the North Atlantic, a series of air attacks was launched and ground invasion began at New Year's Day of 2007.

On 11 January 2007, the Malian government stated that Moussa Traoré had died of a "heart attack", which would later be confirmed as poisoning. This lead to riots in the whole country. But the new president Jacques Djaboku (Traoré’s defense minister) ensured the stability of Mali.

On February 10, the SRAA rebels in the north stated that they were busy enough in the northern territories and all those who were opposed to Azawad would be killed, but they were willing to recognize Mali's independence. Thus, on April 2, 2007 the Treaty of Abuja was signed, a treaty between the Malian government and SRAA recognizing the independence of the Azawadi separatists in exchange for Indo-Chinese economic aid.

Around the same time, on March 7, the Malian Federation was beginning to crumble at the beginning of the Battle of Kital. Two days later, trying to flee the country towards Guinea, Amadou Touré was captured. The interim regime led by Russian General Ivan Klarenko took control for a few hours, the Federation was defeated and abolished on the evening of March 10, 2007. With a blood toll of around 500,000 lives, the civil war in Mali ended with Bamako’s victory.

Azawad currently is a republic led by the Revolutionary Front of Azawadi, formed out of the former SRAA, and led by an executive board of 11 members. It is currently considered a semi-fascist regime influenced by the Chinese and Indian systems.

A new civil war was started in Nigeria when the Sino-Indian Fascist alliance began to arm discontented rebels of the Yoruba and Oyo peoples who were very much unhappy with the Islamic domination of their state exercised by the Hausa in the north.

Starnberg Brothers or the consequences of unmolested Neo-Liberalism

After, in September 2008, the Starnberg Brothers investment bank filed for what is commonly known as "Chapter 17 bankruptcy" in Russia, first the Petrograd stock market and then markets all over the world plummeted by significant margins, although the falls were never as high as those in 1929. The consequences remain to be seen, but investment banking, an outgrow of unhindered Demichevist neo-liberalism, had already cost private citizens millions of rubles and tens of thousands of Russian and other families were now bereft of their savings which they wanted to use for pension financing.

Hope, Change, or for short: "Bez Buldırabız!"
Riding on this, and on a general discontent with the government of two-termer Valentin V. Pavlov, who was seen as too hawkish, too pro-gun and ineffective regarding the lives to effect ratios of the wars in Peru, Bolivia and Mali. Another, major point of discontent was the excessive use of newly granted police and secret service powers after the 20/7 terrorist attacks. Many suspected terrorists, sometimes innocent Peruvian Quechua-speaking nationals, had been abducted into the mostly secret Tainan Bay Camp, where so-called "enhanced interrogation techniques", meaning torture methods like waterboarding, were used on them. They were also many a time kept imprisoned without charges being brought and had no access to legal council. In Bolivia and Peru itself, the situation was even worse as civilians were frequently killed in operations that should be directed against Yachakuq terrorists. On top of all that, in 2006, it was uncovered that not Hugo Banzer and not somebody else was in possession of weapons of mass destruction on Bolivian territory, i.e. that the reason given by Pavlov for the decision to invade Bolivia was all fraudulent. Many people suspected that the invasion was, in fact, for the valuable resources in the northern and eastern Bolivian rainforests...

On all this discontent, the Democratic Party could once again run, with a young and charismatic senator from Tatarstan, Rustam Minnikhanov, surprisingly being the frontrunner, even leading over the husband of former three-term President Zolnerovich, Boris Borissovich Zolnerovich. Minnikhanov used the popular campaign slogan, in his native Tatar language, "Bez Buldırabız!" meaning "We can!" and, on this, won with a comfortable 60,3 % of the popular vote.

Mitt Romney vs. Brian Schweitzer and Jon Huntsman - the difference between force and popularity

In the spring and summer of 2008, several incidents involving alleged arming of Aurumian and West Shoshonan separatists on the part of the American Federation led to bad relations, and two short wars, between the American Federation and Jefferson resp. Deseret. However, as was predictable, both small nations had practically no chance and America could easily occupy the separatist republics. America recognised both of these quickly after, and by late 2008, they were stabilised as (rarely recognised) de-facto regimes. However, except in the American Federation, the people were generally on the side of chanceless Presidents Brian Schweitzer and Jon Huntsman, Jr. and saw Aurumia and West Shoshona as illegitimate separatist insurrectionists.​

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Se l'ECU echoue, l'Éurope echouera!

famous and oft-criticised slogan by French Chancellor Rachida Dati, to support the controversial bailouts of the FUBAR(C) countries

Chapter 40: 15 September 2008 (Petrograd, Russia) - 18 December 2010 (Huê, State of Vietnam)

FUBAR(C) or: For information about risks and side effects ask your economist?


Aztecs and Incas - divided... but united if against a common enemy!

Mitt Romney, by 2010, had mostly gotten away with supporting Aurumian and Shoshonan separatists, and he started to try the same trick in the Yucatan. Although the Yucatan separatists became somewhat more stable from this, Mexico under the leadership of Acolmixtli took revenge. It did not try to conquer Yucatan, as this would lead to war against the American Federation, but it inspired, funded and, at least this is alleged, also armed rebels in the Guatemalan and Honduran jungle. Americans at least also suspected that Mexico was heavily involved in the illegal drug trade, but these allegations were staunchly denied at all possibilites.

The Peru and Bolivian wars proved so inconclusive that the international coalition had decided, under the pressure of accumulating body counts and the insight into impossiblity to root out all Yachakuq or similarly-minded terrorists, together with an increasing number of terrorist attacks (especially in La Paz itself), to leave the country to the Bolivians in 2011. Even for the war in Peru, criticism in Europe was running ever higher as Arduri Ñahui-Cusi, suspected to be in Peru, was still alive, well and, on top of that, free. Both wars were seen as rather ineffective, costing a high number of lives for low effect.

The same was true of Mali, even after the civil wars had ended, Mali remains a point of criticism.

About the risks and side effects of too little - especially of Tainan

The newly elected President of Russia, Tatar native Rustam Minnikhatov, had made some great campaign promises: Close Tainan Bay Camp completely, introduce sweeping health reform, end the wars in Peru and Bolivia,..., but by late 2010, chances were looking rather dim that he would be able to fulfil many of these promises. This was especially true as the National Party around their speaker Boris Gryzlov and the oft-ridiculed "Vodka Party" around Vladimir Zhirinovsky and Yelena Afanasyeva, the very young governor of the Chukchi State, could celebrate a landslide victory in the midterm elections of November 2010, winning back the majority in both Houses and thus being able to block legislation. However, Minnikhatov was still very popular...

Starnberg and its consequences

The bankruptcy of the Starnberg Brothers investment bank had grave consequences all over the world: The First World suddenly plunged into a recession, which lead to the demand of oil rapidly sinking. France and Germany tried to alleviate the recession, especially in their much-loved car industries, with the so called Abwrackprämie (mothballing premium) (legally, it was called Umweltprämie, environmental premium), but recession was still there. Joblessness rose to new heights, and for the first time in history, the "New Labour" programs of five to ten years earlier, pushing Labour Parties all over Europe much more into the center and earning Lionel Jospin, Roman Herzog and Peer Steinbrück bad reputations as Genossen der Bosse (comrades of the bosses), sharted to show their full, positive and negative, effects.

Some also claimed that "too little", or the wrong, cure was applied in the case of the FOUBAR states. It began in mid-2009 with the spiralling out of control of a debt crisis in the Ottoman Empire, which had acceded to the UCE (United Concert of Europe, TTLs EU, which had grown out of the CEEC in the 1990s) in 1986 under Bülent Ecevit, and to the common currency union of the ECU in 1999/2002. According to the Treaty of Daugavpils, an important criterion was that total debts were to be only 60 % of GDP and new debts were only allowed to reach 3 % of the GDP per year. The Ottoman Empire, as came out now, had, for decades, failed to reach the criteria and was now hugely indebted. Despite the Daugavpils treaty actually banning the bailout of a country, the finance controlling people of the UCE had failed to see this upon the ascension of the Ottoman Empire.

And so, the time of Vilnius Summits began. And, under strong leadership of Chancellor Rachida Dati of France, the first massive bailout program for the Ottoman Empire, amounting to E683 billion, was decided on, in return for strict Ottoman austerity obligations.
Soon enough, other countries of Europe, namely the six anyway suspcious states known collectively as FOUBAR (Finland, Ottomans, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Armenia and Romania) started to slide into debt crises, beginning with Romania, also a country quite dependent on oil sales for GDP. As the Ottoman Empire and Romania were bailed out - and continually a media theme (and often a scapegoat) - Rachida Dati uttered the quote (see top) and thus rallied most of the UCE, especially the chiefs of the ECU Group (Viktor Órban), the Central Bank (Villem Allik), and the President of the Council of the Concert, Josu Urrutikoetxea (the former Basque Minister of the Interior), around the bailout program. Whom she could not so easily rally was the people of Europe... we will see what this leads to down the road.

A new country in Africa - but how long will it last?

As the Yoruban separatist of the OPLF (Oyo People's Liberation Front) were clearly armed, financed and trained by Sino-Indian fascist forces, the Nigerian government, anyway suffering from problems as Islamic extremists in the north constantly make (small-scale) terrorist attacks in order to get the Shari'a through as the law of the land, could not really fight back against the separatists. After they had won the battles of Lagos and Ibadan, and terrorist attacks by the NJA (Nigerian Jihadi Army) were increasing in number and scale, the Nigerian government was practically forced to the tables in July of 2010, and had to recognise the new Greater Oyo People's State as independent on September 16, 2010. This was the third, and the third (more or less) interntionally recognised, creation of a new country within three years as, two years prior to this, the native Twa people of the rainforest of central Congo had finally declared their full independence. This declaration was not (yet?) recognised by the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but by many, especially first-world, nations it was.

The VFV World Cup held in Ethiopia was a true success considering this was the first one held in Africa at all. Ethiopia's team itself, however, dropped out far too early, in the group stage, with England winning the trophy in a hot match against Belgium, with the decisive goal scored four minutes before the end of extra time by Aaron Lennon. Notably, North France once again failed in the semifinals, and again it was against the prospective winner, England, with the second semifinal being Korea vs. Belgium.

But all was to change, and become null and void, when in December 2010, a certain Vang Thieu Lê Qûôc set his small seafood vending stand, and himself, afire in the Vietnamese city of Huê...​

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By the way, what do y'all think of my two most recent updates? I am taking the TL back to the originally intended pace that was there at the beginning, when KaiserK started it.

Also, I am of course continuing the analogies and the use of prominent OTL persons in different positions. But I have extended this not only to persons...

Generally, what do y'all think of it?
 
I never intended for the TL to be plausible when I wrote it, I kind of just made shit up as I went.

I will and must stand by KaiserK here. This was never intended to be "hard-line" plausible AH, more an exercise in building up as many analogies to OTL as possible, while not falling into the diverse AH clichés and tropes... And, I mean, Incan neo-paganism as a standin for Islamism is COOL!
 
I will and must stand by KaiserK here. This was never intended to be "hard-line" plausible AH, more an exercise in building up as many analogies to OTL as possible, while not falling into the diverse AH clichés and tropes... And, I mean, Incan neo-paganism as a standin for Islamism is COOL!

Completely agree with this. Figuring out all the analogies was really fun when I read this TL, and there was plenty of unexpected and very cool stuff throughout.
 
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