Really been loving this timeline. I’ll have to try gaming it out in Rome Total War!!
For the Want of a Ram: The World of a Surviving Caesar
- Thread starter CrassusFantastic
- Start date
Fror some reason I missed this timeline completely and have only just had the chance to read all the updates. I love it -- great work in making Caesar's Dacian campaign convincingly brutal!
It's particularly fun to see all the players from the later 40s, with slightly different opportunities. For example, I was glad to see Ventidius Bassus winning the spolia opima, and I assume that Caesar will let him actually claim them, too. And that Octavius is taking strategy notes from Agrippa in this universe too. And no doubt Latin students of the future have twice the reason to curse Caesar for his bridge-building descriptions, now that he built one over the Danube as well.
It's particularly fun to see all the players from the later 40s, with slightly different opportunities. For example, I was glad to see Ventidius Bassus winning the spolia opima, and I assume that Caesar will let him actually claim them, too. And that Octavius is taking strategy notes from Agrippa in this universe too. And no doubt Latin students of the future have twice the reason to curse Caesar for his bridge-building descriptions, now that he built one over the Danube as well.
Yeah, thanks! You’re completely right about Bassus actually getting the optima. A big theme with this TL is how little differences compound into huge changes later down the line. The title after all is a reference to for the want of a nail. Also, the next update is finally dropping tonight. Sorry about the long delay; I just got busy. It deals with the winter, and as always, there’s weirdness, lore, and tragedy ahead.
Chapter IX: A Winter of Discontent
Chapter IX: A Winter of Discontent
Caesar and Octavius have a Pleasant Chat
After a long conversation with his friend, Quintus Salvius Rufus(3), where he compared Aggripa’s cooking to the excrement of a bear, Octavius would be called to Caesar’s quarters. A lanky beanpole of a man, whose health had deteriorated due to the Alpine air, he’d enter into his tent wheezing, shuffling in like a corpse. Not wanting to be seen as weak, he’d desperately try to regain his composure, red-faced at what his great uncle might think. The old general would simply smile and laugh it off however, wryly congratulating him for winning his little “battle.” The two men would talk well into the night, sipping on white wine, as they enjoyed each other's company. And after rattling off their favorite thermopilia(4) and lengthily dissecting one of Xenophon’s stratagems, where Caesar did most of the talking, eventually the topic would come to politics. See, young Octavius had been growing restless, as the life of a military man wasn’t for him. He excelled at the administrative side of things, sure, but when it came to anything involving actual planning or warfare, he had been mostly relying on Agrippa for help; even his heroism at Genucla has been something of a farce, as his friend let him take most the credit. Caesar fully knew this of course, as he was no idiot. And sure, the boy was no Marius, but he more than made up for that by virtue of his intellect and wit. He had natural-born political instincts and near boundless gumption, and he was thoroughly impressed with how he ran his camp and wooed his own generals, so he’d finally decide to throw him a bone. Pulling out a reed calamus and a new roll of papyrus, he’d lay out his career path for the years to come.
First, he was to complete his term of service as tribunus laticlavius in the foothills of Armenia, being allowed to return to Rome in 42 BC after fighting the Parthians. Once he got back, he was to then enter into the tutelage of Gaius Trebatius Testa(5), his legal counsel and old friend, where he was to receive an education in debate, rhetoric, and law. Finally, once he reached the age of 25, though that number wasn’t set in stone, he was to receive the Urban Quaestorship: one of the most powerful positions in all of Rome. Octavius was immediately taken aback, not necessarily by excitement, but by his concern over the optics, as he feared that he’d be laughed out of the senate for becoming quaestor before the age of 30. He’d immediately challenge Caesar on the point, preparing for a fiery debate, but the dictator would tell him to simply relax, as he already had things taken care of. He had an omnibus bill in the works that would fix everything, and even that wouldn’t matter much in the end in lieu of what was coming; he had a very special surprise awaiting the boy in Antioch. Octavius immediately got what he meant, as though he had been suspecting it for months now, he now had confirmation it was actually happening. With a sly grin, he’d shake his uncle’s hand, thanking him for everything before promptly departing. And Caesar couldn’t help but smile, as though the boy could never replace his sweet Julia, it felt good to be a father again. His brief moment of happiness would be interrupted however when he got back to the campaign at hand. These Dacians were sure giving him a run for his money, as they were proving themselves more resilient than the Gauls.
Part of The Sacred Enclosure of Sarmizegetusa Regia
And rightfully so, as Sarmizegetusa was a sight to behold. Composed of 10 terraces encircling the Gradivus Mons(6), with a population numbering in the tens of thousands, it was one of the most impressive urban centers north of the Danube. It had all the hallmarks of civilization, whether its markets and workshops, where the comati congregated on the lower levels, its grand palace, chiseled by the finest Greek masons picked by Burebista himself, or its sacred enclosure, crowned by a temple made of andesite, with a stoa nearly 80 columns long and a silver sundial to cap it all off (7). Now Caesar was, of course, quite shocked, as he never would’ve expected such a barbaric race to have built such a marvel. In a chapter of his Dacian Wars, he’d even go as far as to compare them to his fellow Romans, noting their use of Greek architecture, imitation Denarii, and advanced drainage systems and aqueducts(8). His admiration could only extend so far however, as though these people pretended to be civilized, at the end of the day, they'd always be barbarians who had to be destroyed. And their robust defenses certainly weren't going to make that easy. For surrounding the mountain was a chain of 5 forts(9) that had to be taken before the city proper could be encircled, and they were made of far tougher stuff than anything he had witnessed at Tapae. They were built through a method known as the Murus Dacicus, the Dacian Wall, where they were triple-reinforced through volcanic ash and masonry, back loaded with rubble, making them near-impervious to battering rams or siege artillery. And unlike the emaciated forts of Scythia Minor, they were well nourished by Transylvania's bounty, and with Burebista’s army to man them, they could hold out for almost an eternity. Now, dreading the idea of having to stay the winter, Caesar would attempt to take the forts with shock and awe, bombarding them with hellfire until they surrendered.
This would fail however, as the enemy refused to budge, and their numbers would only be bolstered by more supplies and reinforcements. By the time late October rolled around, only Deva had fallen, granting him access to the Marisus River valley. He attempted to march south, razing many towns and even the royal fort of Singidava(10) in the process, but when he attempted to move onto Sarmizegetusa proper, he was stopped dead in his tracks. He was faced with a corridor of 3 forts set atop cliffs and endless chasms that awed the very gods themselves. Burebista had set them up in the event of an invasion, building upon pre-existing infrastructure from the days of the Celts, and though he may have passed, he now had the last laugh (11). As hard as he tried, Caesar couldn’t pass through, and though he now had provisions from Singidava’s sack, it would only be so long that they’d last. And matters weren’t helped by grim news from the front. There weren’t enough troops to encircle Sarmizegetusa from the south, exposing one of their flanks. Winter was also setting in unusually early, as Caesar felt Boreas brush up against his bald spot. He knew that if he stayed any longer, his situation would be compromised and his men would be goners. So swallowing his pride and planet-sized ego, he’d make the tough decision to abandon the siege and settle in for the winter. Working day and night, erecting camps faster than Mercury’s sandals, the Romans would quickly withdraw, entrenching themselves from Tapae to Albocensia and all across Getia and Thrace. They’d settle down in their tents, making ready for the winter ahead, but nothing could’ve prepared them for the hardships that’d follow.
The Romans Celebrate Saturnalia
Around the Ides of December, hunkered down in the snow-topped stronghold of Berzobia(12), Caesar would take center stage around a campfire, riding in atop a goat. Wearing a gaudy, multicolored coat and a Phyrgian cap, he’d take a long gulp from his flask, announcing that Saturnalia had begun. What followed would be an orgy of bedlam, the likes of which the world has never seen as, tired from their traumatic campaign, his men let it all out in one night. From dusk to dawn they’d binge drink whatever they could get their hands on, whether it wine, ale, or rain water, as any semblance of order broke down. The laws of society no longer applied, as peasants now paraded around like patricians and senators acted like slaves. And hiding behind costumes and wild masks, many a drunkard would use the opportunity to voice their real thoughts. Caesar’s own servants would even curse him out to his face, forming a line to his “throne” where he was inebriated: too drunk to know what was going on. And as hundreds huddled around in his tent, each with something to say, senators gambled away their fortunes over exotic nuts, all the while a centurion frolicked about naked in the snow, only to come back having lost his cock to the frost. Finally, the Romans were getting the rest and relaxation they needed, even if they did err a bit extreme. And for a brief week, they were able to ignore their the problems: all the men that had been lost to the cold and disease. And unbeknownst to them, the Dacians were doing the exact same.
In the early part of January, dressed to the nines like a billy goat, Deceneus would gallop throughout the Sarmizegetusa streets in order to inaugurate the annual Aizlia(13) It was a festival dedicated to the god Sabazios, the almighty king of the goats(14), to bring about the new year. And Dacians of every stripe, whether they be cap-wearer or comati, would all come together as his servants, dressing themselves like beasts with ornate dyes and wools to banish evil spirits from the world. They’d all assemble in the sacred enclosure, and after consuming heavy psychoactive substances, nectar, and mead, they’d enter into a frenzied trance, clopping around like creatures of the land in an intense, hours-long dance. They’d then cool down afterwards in a large, banquet-style feast, gorging themselves on fermented boar, pork, and pig meat leftover from the prior month: all the while, they got even more drunk(15). While all of this was going on, Deceneus would retire to his chambers in order to strategize with his generals. Their current situation was, as it stands, grim, as they were effectively hemmed in. The Romans had reinforcements on the way, and once the winter turned to spring, it would only be a matter of time before his kingdom collapsed. So, once he sobered himself up, Deceneus proposed a bold strategy that he hoped would save his nation: a surprise attack. Now normally this type of thing would’ve been considered suicide, as marching an army during the winter was a oneway ticket to death. The old priest was desperate however, and he figured that, if he could lure the Romans out of his heartland with an attack on their lower flank, he would have time to recapture Albocensia and Tapae, putting him in a stronger position for next year(16). Besides, after a strangely brutal December, January had so far been pretty mild, and after making some calculations about the sun’s trajectory, he didn’t see any reason that would change. So after receiving Gulista’s very reluctant consent, he’d send out missives to his eastern federates to plan the attack for next month. After changing his attire, he’d retreat to a nearby cave and first sing Zalmoxis a hymn, wishing for this “cycle” to end. He then prayed for Burebista, hoping he would be reincarnated into a higher plane: his death repaid with Roman blood to restore balance to the cosmos. Finally, he thought back to the comet in all its unending rage. Perhaps the peoples of these lands were destined to endure this hardship due to their decadence, and now under his reign, the rot would be undone. But alas for Deceneus however, the corruption ran deeper than he thought, festering in the skies and earth, as it would now make its fury known.
The Romans Bear Through the Hellish Winter
In early February, a large army would assemble in Petrodava, consisting of some of Burebista’s most elite veterans, Bastarnae from the Atmoni clan, and brigands from the Senses confederation(17). Numbering at around 20,000 men, they’d assemble whatever supplies they could get before marching south to attack Argedava. By capturing the Getic metropolis, they hoped to create a wedge jutting into the Ordessus River valley, and from there, they could draw the Romans out from their positions before retreating back up north. They’d set out soon after, hoping that the mild weather would hold, but suddenly and almost without warning, everything changed in an instant. Like an apparition from the gods, the skies would be covered in luminescent smog, as an azure halo enveloped the sun. Temperatures dropped to levels these men had never before seen, all the while swarming blizzards cursed the land (18). Most of them would drop dead from frostbite, and the survivors would either contract hypothermia or starve. By the time they reached Argedava, they were reduced to a shambling funeral pyre, down to just 3,000, who were immediately captured by the Romans and put out of their misery. When Deceneus heard the news, he couldn’t help but scream and bash his head up against a wall, realizing the true extent of what he had done. For once the snow had melted, Sarmatians raiders would ravage the east, plundering its villages and davas, as refugees fled into the Albius Mons(19).
Caesar was, of course, quite pleased, as it was a major win for him. Sure, the weather had taken a toll on his men as well, as in braving hellish snow, many of them either choked up blood or froze. But that paled in comparison to the Dacian tragedy, as their soft underbelly was now exposed, and with invaders attacking them from every side, it’d only be a matter of time before Sarmizegetusa fell. By the time late March rolled around, Caesar maneuvered his way down to Sucidava, stopping in Thrace to help his newly formed allies, the Picensi and Tricornenses (20), before heading back at Thessalonica. There, he’d clasp hands with Mark Antony, giving him a burly bear hug. He’d also be reunited with Cleopatra and their little son, Casaerion, who he’d gift a toy soldier and a collection of oddities from Dacia. The pair were planning on staying in Macedonia, where they’d take a grand tour of Greece, before sailing with him to Antioch, where they’d then return to Egypt. And Caesar was happy to see them again, even if for a brief moment, and he was absolutely ecstatic to finally meet up with his long-awaited reinforcements. The following morning, they'd hold a suovetaurilia, a pig-sheep-bull sacrifice, near the city's agora dedicated to Mars Gradivus, with Antony officiating the rights (21). And after purifying themselves, they'd prepare to set off, as they were to march north at dawn to drag the Dacians to their graves.
(1): For context, this is before paper was disseminated throughout the Western world. Writing in ancient times was brutal.
(2): Deva, Romania: an important fortress along the Mureş River where Trajan fought against Decebalus in OTL.
(3): One of his closest friends during the civil war who, in OTL, would die young in 42 BC.
(4): The Roman equivalent to a restaurant/food court.
(5): A renowned jurist and close friend of Caesar who fought with him in Gaul, serving as his lawyer when he returned to Rome. Originally, I was thinking Cicero as his mentor, but considering how rocky his relationship was with Caesar, I chose someone else.
(6): The Orastie Mountains in Romania, named after Mars: the god of war. Also, by the time of Decebalus, this would be 14 terraces, but I decided to lower to number as that would be a century later.
(7): A way bigger temple would be constructed later on this site by Decebalus. It seems that the old one was destroyed to make way.
(8): So that part about the imitation denarii, drainage, and pipes seems to be pretty well backed by evidence. The part about Hellenistic architecture however seems a bit more contested by scholars, but I thought it made sense to include it considering that Burebista campaigned against the Greeks and was probably influenced by them.
(9): Would expand to 6-7 by the time Decebalus became king.
(10): Cugir, Romania.
(11): Something similar happened with Trajan in OTL. He had to secure the broader area around Sarmizegetusa before moving onto the forts surrounding the city proper. The forts in question correspond to Costeşi, Blidaru, and Piatra Roşie, Romania.
(12). A fort from a fragment of Trajan’s Dacian Wars in modern Berzovia, Romania.
(13). A festival loosely based on the Romanian Capra: a goat dance with seemingly pagan origins to inaugurate the new year. I made up the name of course, pulling from what seems to be the Dacian word for goat.
(14): Sabazios was a god worshipped throughout Dacia and Thrace. He seemed to be associated with rams and goats, as he was often syncretized with Dionysus.
(15): A reference to Ignat Day: a Romanian pork-eating festival in December that also seems to have pagan roots.
(16): So for reference, this is directly pulled from OTL. During Trajan's Dacian Wars, Decebalus was in a similar position, hemmed in by Roman troops near his capital, so he'd launch a surprise attack during the winter with the battle of Adamclisi. Both here and in ITL, they go through with the plan because the weather seems mild. Decebalus’s army however survives and Deceneus’s doesn’t, and I'll explain why shortly.
(17): Piatra Neamt, Romania. The Acmoni are a subdivision of Bastarnae living north of the Danube, and I already mentioned the Senses.
(18): So the years of 43-42 BC would be some of the coldest on record. The hypothesis is that this was caused by the eruption of a super-caldera, known as Mt. Okmok, Alaska, that erupted in the earlier part of the year, hence the sudden change in climate. It would cause famines, large-scale starvation, and a whole lot of civil unrest. If you're wondering if this is going to affect the Parthian War: yes, yes it will.
(19): Fagaras Mountains, Romania.
(20): Artificial tribal autonomies created by the Romans in OTL after their conquest of the area.
(21): This was a purification ceremony that'd often be held to sanctify an army before campaign. Trajan did one in his OTL Dacian War, and it's dedicated to the soldier variant of Mars, Gradivus, due to the fact that they're on campaign. Also, Antony was appointed a a flamen for the cult of Caesar earlier that year, so I'm pretty sure he could technically do this.
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Caesar's slaves at Saturnalia, circa 44 BC. Ok, so it's finally out! Sorry about the delay. If you guys have any comments, criticism, or anything I need to change, I'm always happy to hear it.
But that's not set in stone, though - for all Caesar knows, he might have sons from whoever he marries, and i don't know if he'd risk passing over any potential sons of Octavian (or if Octavian would even go for that) in favor of Cesarion.
But in any case, Cesarion's already set to inherit Egypt, so this is not even necessary.
They would be just too young in their late teens or early 20s and Caesar could die of is epileptic attacks or from War and political intrigues
Also Romans take adoption very seriously unlike modern people if Caesar has adopted Octavian then in all intensive purposes he is his son
And Ceaser is doing what otl Octavian did and trying up his heir's and it looked like Otl Octavian was originally planing to have more than one person ruling the empire
And Ceaser and Octavia made then selfs dictator which Ceaser used going back to the old Republic traditions which fell out of use
And Octavian created the post of First Citizen or Primceps
Other Ceaser and Octavian are from a more republican tradition they are not making a monarchy the why we would understand it
Also on another point it looks like Ceaser is looking for a ruler not a conquer like him self who you could say is addicted to it
Yeah, he will, but only for about a year or two before he starts his political career in Rome. I might edit things a bit to make that more clear.
Yeah, no for a couple of reasons, or at least if you're talking about him becoming one of his heirs. For one, Caesarion was an easterner, and a literal prince at that, who wouldn't have been accepted by the xenophobic, anti-monarchist people of Rome. Second, officially Caesar never actually acknowledged him as his son. The official story was that he was just a bastard of Cleopatra of an unknown source, even though he was almost certainly his child/ people gossiped about it constantly. Finally, adopting another heir would honestly complicate the succession a ton and open the door to civil war. Also, Octavius hasn’t even married yet, and due to butterflies, it’s in the cards for him to have a son instead of a daughter.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're correct. He was never a Roman citizen, although I think I remember reading about cases where foreigners were adopted, and even though it seems to be a super fringe thing, that doesn’t mean it’s strictly implausible. Also, a lot of foreign monarchs under Rome's domain would usually be given citizenship to bind them further to the empire. My current plans however for Caesarion are tilting towards him being pharaoh of Egypt, and a very-Romanophilic one at that. I can’t see Caesar adopting or legitimizing him really.
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No, it can't be done. And anyway, it will be better for Caesarion to be the king of Egypt in this scenario, as a powerful Roman ally.
Regarding Octavian (or Octavius, as he still is here) -- it wasn't unusual to hold the quaestorship in the late Republic at around 25, was it? I know technically they should be around 28 or 29 to run for it, but I'm not sure most senators' sons did the whole 10 years of equestrian service. Or did you mean the praetorship? That would be a big gift for a 25 year old, definitely, but it would make sense to have Trebatius Testa holding Octavian's hand if he's going to be urban praetor. Will Caesar lean on Cicero to give some speeches about how this is totally OK now, really?
Speaking of the Ciceros, it was nice to see Quintus back serving with Caesar -- I wonder whether younger Quintus will have the career he should have, ITTL.
I’m pretty sure the official age for the quaestorship, post-Sulla, was 30, so I feel like it would’ve been a bit unusual, though it seems like the age limits were a lot more ignored in the late republic. To spoil things a bit, I was going to have Caesar lower much of the age requirements for the Cursus Honorum, partially to help Octavius, but also to bring in more new blood to make up for the losses of the civil war and help dilute out the remaining Pompeians. This is actually something that Augustus did in OTL, as he lowered the required age for the quaestorship to 25, and the praetorship to 30 I believe. Overall, Octavius’s career is going to be super fast tracked, as he’s going to be super powerful before he turns 30
Nope, I was referring to the urban quaestorship. Two of them would would usually be appointed to manage the Roman treasury/ the public sale of land/ a bunch of other stuff. It was one of the most powerful lower magisterial roles due to the influence it gave a person over Rome. Also, I might have Caesar ask Cicero to help, but he’s probably going to ask for something in return. Their relationship was, at the time, pretty rocky from what I can gather. Also, the man was, first and foremost, a politician at the end of the day, and he’s probably going to want a favor.
Yeah, the Ciceros will obviously be doing much better without Antony vendetta killing them all. Not entirely sure what I’m going to do with them later down the line
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True but I don't know how much you will change because the Romans adopted several succession and types
As well as having multiple rulers at one time such as diclation, Augustus whom it seems he planned to have what we would understand as two emperors
And he fast track many times his potential successors
But I'm the end tiberians was his only option
Anyway Rome is not a true monarchy unless you plan to make bigger changes
As for them having children that very possible and with Ceaser being on campaign for years any children he may have would be children most likely when he dead
Octavian should be hopeful secure in his succession and it looks like Ceaser chosen him rule
Lowering the ages for magistracies makes a lot of sense, given the loss of life in the civil wars even up to 46. And I think other people have mentioned that some of the praetors Caesar appointed were a few years shy of 39. It also makes sense for Caesar to fast-track Octavius as much as possible, to ensure that he is in the best possible position when he eventually inherits. Is Caesar planning to bring back elections at some point? I know he appointed about five years worth of magistrates, but there is eventually going to be a lot of pressure from the senatorial order to return to some kind of elections, and I think it's going to be important to the young Caesar's standing to prove that he can win offices himself, not just have them given by his father.
OK, just checking. I really think that having Octavius hold this at 25 is not going to be much of an issue -- if he's a praetor at 30, or even younger, that's when people will start to talk.
Regarding Caesar and Cicero... yeah, Cicero found Caesar's dictatorship hard to take, and it impacted their on-and-off relationship. I always got the sense that Caesar wanted Cicero to like him, and Cicero wanted to like Caesar, but that politics got in the way. But Cicero spends a lot of time from about 46 on cultivating younger politicians, and I think Trebatius was a mutual friend of theirs, so asking him to take an interest in Octavius wouldn't be too unusual -- especially if for example Caesar could find a place for young Marcus to serve as a tribune in one of his legions. Marcus was definitely more interested in military than politics -- young Quintus was good at both, apparently. If I ever write a Roman timeline it will be one where Things Go Well for young Quintus.
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Yeah, this is something I’ve thought about, and at the moment, I’m not entirely sure. This is something Caesar is going to get around to once the Parthian War is over, which will take a couple of years. I was thinking of him maybe doing a hybrid system where some of the magistracies are elected, but most the power is concentrated in him
Yeah, that’d make some sense I think. I will probably do something with Marcus and Quintus now that you mention it. Since they’re not getting killed off, the have a lot of potential to become big power players in the future
He's dictator for life, has a huge army and a lot of veterans to call on, and is pontifex maximus, which all together should give him enough influence to control the elections and Roman politics -- you could see a situation where he had to approve the candidates, and then they could run as normal. When Sulla did this it did involve killing a guy who decided to run anyway, though. But handling the elites without getting stabbed to death is always going to be a difficult balance for Caesar.
Styli were used to take notes on wax tablets, what you mean is a calamus, a reed pen (first from the left), though a man of means like Caesar would likely have preferred a bronze dip pen (second from the left). The three on the right are styli.