alternatehistory.com

For Freedom, Liberty and Commonwealth.
Chapter One: The First American Civil War.
Part One: A Time of Troubles.

“America is a spoiled child, having a tantrum, just because we want something in return…”
General John Burgoyne, in 1778, in the midst of the First American Civil War.

America, aka the “Thirteen Colonies” (out of 32 British colonies in North America and the Caribbean) was a troublesome land, but not an oppressed one. In fact Britain spoiled its colonies and asked for far less things then it asked the Home Islands. Americans were obliged to pay far less in taxation then their counterparts across the Atlantic. There were even some American heroes well known Blighty-side, like General Washington who fought in the Seven Years' War. Washington himself has had retired to renovate his house, Mount Vernon, into a house fit for a General and a famous one at that.

The American colonies were quite comfortable being British possessions, and it seemed the most peaceable land under the King, George III. Quite a lot of British subjects emigrated there, and even a few from the continent, including the Buonaparte family, which would later be famous. The lands taken by the British from the French in the Seven Years' War was governed quite reasonably, considering the situation it was in. "Quebec" as the Francophone part was called, had an Anglophone governor, Guy Carleton, which administered Quebec with a firm hand.

But, when, in 1772, the Government at that time, chose to put some harsher taxes on America, it was very, very, very unpopular with the American people, who grew used to the lax taxes previous governments allowed them. Quite a lot hated this, especially the Virginian General himself. They collected a petition of many thousands of signers, which later became known as the "Thousand People's Petition.". The Government backed down on all the taxes seeing this was extremely unpopular to Americans, except three. That which applied to salt, pepper and mustard. Never have had three condiments meant all that much before or since.

One day, in 1774, four ships arrived to Staten Island, New York, bearing shipments of salt, pepper and mustard. Americans demanded that the ships be sent back to where they came from. The officials refused to this, so a group of 40 angry Americans boarded the ships with muskets, killed all the officials on the ships, then started to throw the shipments overboard, destroying them. Then they started to burn the ships down, jumping overboard at the last second.

This showed to Britain, that it was aggression, and the Government arrested most of the men involved in the "Staten Seaside Dinner" as it became known as. The first three of them were hanged publically, to great weeping, shouts of curses and condemnation. America became a land of two halves, one half was angry against the King and his Parliament, for putting the land under oppression. The other half wanted peace and reconciliation, with the taxes decreased. This half was angry with the taxes, not the King or his Parliament. Both halves were angry at something that originated Blighty-side, that was one of the few things they had in common.
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