Flamethrower Thread

Which thread would you flame with most satisfaction?

  • Alexander the Great, up to China

    Votes: 15 13.4%
  • Roman-wank

    Votes: 20 17.9%
  • Jesus existed/not existed

    Votes: 22 19.6%
  • Chinese sailors reach America

    Votes: 23 20.5%
  • The Mighty British Lion stomp those unruly Colonies oversea

    Votes: 19 17.0%
  • CSA winning Secession War

    Votes: 25 22.3%
  • Napoleon takes over the world

    Votes: 25 22.3%
  • Succesful SeaLion

    Votes: 43 38.4%
  • Nazi steamroll soviet Union

    Votes: 35 31.3%
  • WW3: CCCP-China vs. USA-Europe

    Votes: 24 21.4%

  • Total voters
    112
Could it be that Thread Flaming is the cause of War and Revolution?
The most flamed times were the one having most of them
 
The worst would incorporate all these. Alexander the Great conquers China, but his empire falls apart at his death and the Romans rule an empire stretching from Scandinavia to the Sea of Japan. Because of Roman brutality in Judea, Mary is killed before Jesus' birth. Barbarians from the steppe tear apart the Roman empire in the 6th century; the Sino-Romans take to the sea to escape the Central Asian hordes, setting up a seafaring nation in the islands of the Sea of China. By the 14th century they have reached America and settled the west coast. The east coast is settled by the Alt-British, but their taxation on posset causes a rebellion. Luckily posset is not very popular, so they easily crush the rebels by 1803. The war in North America, however, distracts them from a greater war in Europe, and the Emperor of France, Napoleon I, tunnels under the channel to launch a surprise invasion of Britain. The British surrender, and hand over their colonies to France. Napoleon gives independence to the USA in 1800 under the rule of his brother Lucien, who goes on to conquer the Sino-Roman settlements on the west coast. Following Napoleon's death in 1833 the empire fragments. Tensions grow between east and west coast, and in 1850 the Chinese States of America (CSA) secede from the USA. With the help of the brilliant General Li, they are able to win a succession of victories stunning victories over the USA, and are recognised as independent by most countries in 1852. The Germans, who haven't been very busy in this history decide they don't like the look of anyone else and that the Germans are probably a race of supermen. They conquer Europe with ease, and then use Napoleon's tunnels and some Rhine barges to conquer Britain. The first member of the German armed forces across is the 17th Infantry Division's ceremonial sea lion. The British realise that the Germans were right all along about the super men bit and join the German armed forces en masse. This helps the Germans conquer the Soviet Union with ease, as the British scientist chappies are able to show Heisenberg where he'd gone wrong with his nuclear bomb calculations, and the Germans drop A-bombs on Leningrad and Stalingrad, ending the war. All that remains is a rump Soviet state in the far east and Sakhalin. Following the conquest of the western Soviet Union, the USA falls easily. Naturally, the CSA, rump-Soviet Union and the Xiongnu Dynasty of China ally against this threat, and develop their own A-bombs. A pro-Nazi coup takes place in Luzon in 1959, and the National Socialist Union of Europe station missiles on the island. In 1962, Chinese spy planes spot the nuclear missiles. The tensions grow: a Chinese blockade is challenged by European ships. A naval skirmish breaks out: missiles fly, everyone dies.

LOL LOL LOL
Seriously man, that was the most wonderful scenario that I ever read...
Maybe someone from ASB forum could make a detailed TL for that...?:D
Btw, did everyone forget about Muslim-wank, Byzanti-wank, and (of course) Ameri-wank?
 
LOL LOL LOL
Seriously man, that was the most wonderful scenario that I ever read...
Maybe someone from ASB forum could make a detailed TL for that...?:D
Btw, did everyone forget about Muslim-wank, Byzanti-wank, and (of course) Ameri-wank?

I would be really curious of a TL being both Muslim-wank and Byzanti-wank
 
I would be really curious of a TL being both Muslim-wank and Byzanti-wank

Islam conquers Asia, Byzantium conquers Europe. As a result, Islamic Chinese colonize Australia and the Western coast of America, while Byzantine Spaniards and Portuguese colonize the Eastern portion of America. By the twentieth century, both sides are engaged in a cold war with nuclear tipped missiles.

In 2010, Byzantine and Islamic alt-hist geeks sit around on the web and engage in flame-wars about "Frank-wank." ;)
 
The whole Nazis rolling through the USSR thing, although to a lesser extent it applies to Nazis rolling though every other Allied land army (because, presumably, Germans are just The Best-the Allies, of course, cannot have any sense of military skill or judgement, especially in terms of their equipment, in that it actually worked most of the time and didn't continually break down/consume ludicrous amounts of much needed resources/get made by unreliable slaves in labour camps.) And as for the Russians? A lot of 'em, sure, but all a bunch of hairy, illiterate, cowardly, Urrah shouting, Vodka swilling, bayonet waving (if they actually get a rifle) idiots-easy meat for our Panzer divisions!
 
I can't stand the endless "WI the Chinese discovered America!!!" threads that pop like poisonous weeds in pre-1900. The only thing worse than the ones involving Zheng He (he went the other way!) are the ones that have the Chinese accidentally stumbling across America, as if you could somehow sail three thousand miles without running out of food or water, or even more sensibly turning back and going home. It's not so much impossibility that bothers me about these threads - I suppose with a good POD and some work you could make it happen, although I sure haven't seen one yet - as it is the sheer laziness of it all. There are about seventeen million interesting PODs involving China that might actually have happened, and all people want to talk about is a one-in-a-million longshot that would have required a total change in policy/mindset and a whole lot of luck. I blame Gavin Menzies for this.
 
I can't stand Confederate victory threads myself usually. Like I've said, they were like Japan in WWII. They really couldn't have won against the US.

Although that Alexander to China is pretty bad in its own right...

I'm not even going to touch the post 1900 stuff here.
 
The first to reach 50 votes will be declared the winner.
The Unmentionable Mammal is wrinkling its whiskers in anticipation
 
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I voted everything except Alexander, Chinese sailors and the whole Jesus "issue". Those are at least somewhat grounded in reality and don't sound like total wanks or other baloney.
 
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