Famous quotations that never were

"Power, Unlimited Power" - Thomas Alva Edison on making the first commercially sucessful light bulb. Unluckily he would die a few seconds later after touching a live wire by accident.
Unrealistic, because the direct current he could use a that time was really not lethal. It seems that you know nothing about the War of Currents.
 
Sports:
"He did it! History has been made, folks. He finally broke the tie. Your 2001 Winston Cup champion, for the eighth time in his career, is Dale Earnhardt!"
-Motorsports Announcer.

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History:
"What in the hell is the Bismarck doing in the Chesapeake?"
-President Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1941.

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Technology:
"Another generation? I'm not doing it! Two is plenty."
-Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokemon.
 
There was a saying among the Bolshevic leadership that if the Germans were called upon to storm a railway station as part of a popular uprising, they would all buy platform tickets beforehand. The December events show us how wrong we all can be, and all of a sudden, Soviet Russia was no longer the center of world Revolution.

Vladimir Lenin
 
"Holly Sh!t Buzz, We made it! Screw you Commies!"
- Neil Armstrong landing on the Moon

"I think I need to write Mr. Gatling a thank You letter."
- George Armstrong Custer after the Battle of the Little Bighorn

"Oh Jack taking a trip on the Hindenburg is a wonderful 25th Anniversary present."
- Rose Dawson

"So I turn around and there's John Wilkes Booth! I got his autograph and everything!"
-Abraham Lincoln leaving Ford's Theatre

"40 years, that just be too long a time."
- Josh Gibson after winning Rookie of the Year and the World Series for Chicago in 1948

"I am relatively good at what I do!"
- Mohammed Ali

"We have met the Enemy and We are theirs."
- Oliver Hazard Perry after his defeat on the Great Lakes

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
- Thomas Jefferson upon learning that Alexander Hamilton had been convicted for killing His VP, Aaron Burr

"Whoah, Peggy, Babe, that's treason!"
- The 5th President of the United States, Benedict Arnold

"It's not like we didn't know they were coming."
- Admiral Husband E. Kimmel
 
"Becoming an Emperor? I've already said Republicanism is the best political system, I'll keep my words."

Yuan Shih Kai, the Grand President of ROC, commonly referred to as "George Washington of China".
 
"I always regretted what I've done before submitting to Allah. He is indeed the most merciful for pardoning a wretch like me."

Temüjin, Khan of the Mongols, Sultan of the Mongol lands, Defender of the Caliphate.
 
"Lets have a defense drill on Sunday December 7. Arm all fighters and have them shoot som fish in the morning. And have them hunt subs that we station here(puts them were the Japanese TF would launch their planes) and have some. Oh, and lets wake up the navy also" Air force general at Pearl Harbor a few days before December 7 1941
 

Saphroneth

Banned
"What do you know, they didn't have any gunpowder left!"
-William Howe after the surprisingly easy Battle of Boston, late 1775.
 

Driftless

Donor
"William, you bastard, Say hello to my little friends...."

Harold Godwinson - on the successful ambush and destruction of the army of William, Duke of Normandy (aka William the Luckless) on the landing grounds at Pevensey on the Sussex coast in 1066
 
"I've taken men from Sardos to Cunaxa, from Cunaxa to Trapezeus. We were without support but for what we could scrounge, and outnumbered heavily by an antagonized foe. I have faced the best that the Persians could field and came out on top. And yet, I could not take the Wall-less City with these same men by my side..." ~ Xenophon on the Siege of Sparta
 
"We have just whipped all your redneck asses
From Antietam to Manassas
You're in graves,
With no slaves,
Atlanta Braves really suck!"

A song sung by a drunk Abraham Lincoln (while banging a drum with "loser" on it) to Robert E. Lee when he surrendered at Appomattox (much to the chagrin of Ulysses S. Grant). Lee vowed that the South would one day make him suffer just as much, a promise that was kept when Lincoln was subjected to a Jeff Foxworthy gig 135 years later.

(Hard Drinkin' Lincoln, episode eleven)
 
"I didn't join my army in Scotland for three reasons, in increasing order of importance : one, my generals are good enough. Two, you French lords would've loved me leaving France, allowing you to take it over. Three, the weather in Great-Britain is too damn bad."
Edward III, king of France and England, about why he stayed in Paris.
 
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