Famous Insults that Never Were

I'll start.....

Beware, Hun, for the British Dog shall eat the German Cat
-Winston Churchill, right after the German invasion of Britain in 1943
 

Cook

Banned
‘Honestly, that man’s flatulence is truly appalling.’
- Benito Mussolini’s confidential comment to Count Ciano following several hours in meetings with Adolf Hitler at the Munich Conference.
 
Our Missiles shall smash you
-Ayatollah Khomeini, right before being killed by a mis-aimed Iranian Scud during the storming of Tehran during the final stages of the Iran-Iraq war.
 
The Iranian leadership wished to meet Gd as soon as possible. When their missile was sighted coming toward us, we shot it down and then obliged them.

-Prime minister of Israel on the Obliteration of Qom.
 

Sumeragi

Banned
The Winds of the Gods have saved us!

- Japanese commander before being overrun by the Koreans who had disobeyed Mongol orders to board the ships, effectively making Kyushu part of Goryeo.
 
The Winds of the Gods have saved us!

- Japanese commander before being overrun by the Koreans who had disobeyed Mongol orders to board the ships, effectively making Kyushu part of Goryeo.

what???
lol...but this isn't ASB
and it is in Post-1900:p
 

Sumeragi

Banned
what???
lol...but this isn't ASB
and it is in Post-1900:p
*Sigh*

The first invasion nearly succeeded, and it was only the decision to pull back made by the Mongol commanders that destroyed the invasion force. Seriously, I'm not really that tolerant for knowledgeable people going ASB without even knowing the facts.


As for the post-1900...


"I'm going to roll you with tanks, you commie bastard!"*

- Lieutenant General Chun Doo-hwan by phone to General Jeong Seung-hwa, ROK Army Chief of Staff, during his failed coup attempt.

* Actual words spoken.
 

Wolfpaw

Banned
The Winds of the Gods have saved us!

- Japanese commander before being overrun by the Koreans who had disobeyed Mongol orders to board the ships, effectively making Kyushu part of Goryeo.
The first invasion nearly succeeded, and it was only the decision to pull back made by the Mongol commanders that destroyed the invasion force.
I've always been fascinated by the idea of a successful Mongol invasion of Japan, and I must say I find your "Kyushu part of Daehan" really quite interesting. Would it be settled by Koreans?
 
"You've no right to claim Christian morality when your prick's up some slave girl's snatch more often than you're own wife's!"
-An anonymous heckler to a Maryland slaveowner who, when running for congress in 1862, was giving a speech. This was right after the Taney Court ruled in favor of Lemmon in Lemmon vs New York. This was only a year before the beginning of the War of Northern Independence
 

DISSIDENT

Banned
"You think just because you have those broadswords, you bastards are unbeatable. Well, call me Skraeling all you please, because when I'm done, Skraeling is going to mean "People Who Burn Norse Villages" in your tongue."

-Chief of the Mohawk speaking to a Vinlandic Jarl demanding his fealty and some of his braves as thralls and squaws as wives for his warriors, before marching his men to their settlement and burning it.
 
"For how the man speaks, you would think he were a doctor. How he ever came to run a country I'll never know."*
-Elias Eliou, leader of the United Democratic Left, regarding Col. George Papadopoulos.

* = somewhat based on fact. Papadopoulos' favored euphemisms for his dictatorship were references to "surgery" upon the Greek public.
 

DISSIDENT

Banned
"Great King Alexander calls himself a Buddhist, but no follower of the Eightfold Path and seeker of Nirvana would wash his hands in the blood of Carthaginians and set all Arabia Felix afire while Hephaestion and the executed mutineer Antipater go unmourned."

-Raja Puru, AKA Poros, satrap of Hydaspes in the Alexadrine Oecumene, in his regional capital Bucephala, complaining of his overlord to a local Brahmin
 

DISSIDENT

Banned
"Stuyvesant! Are you scheming? Why are you reading that book about Russian pogroms?"

"I am using it against you."

-Robert Hodgson, Quaker Preacher in Nieuw Amsterdam, addressing Pieter Stuyvesant after Stuyvesant declared New Netherland an independent republic to avoid being recalled to Holland by the Dutch government in 1652 with himself as Stadholder General.
 
"I would not have sex with you even if you were the last man on Earth."
-Overheard during a conversation between President Hillary Clinton and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi at a G20 summit.

*SLAP*
-The sound of a minor international incident being caused five seconds later after Mrs. Clinton's palm impacted Berlusconi's face.
 

Sumeragi

Banned
"I would not have sex with you even if you were the last man on Earth."
-Overheard during a conversation between President Hillary Clinton and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi at a G20 summit.

*SLAP*
-The sound of a minor international incident being caused five seconds later after Mrs. Clinton's palm impacted Berlusconi's face.
"Now someone else knows that I've been through in Rome."
- Angela Merkel commenting on the beginning of the short Italian-American War while having a working lunch with Sarkozy at a summit meeting.

"You would have had a better time with me."
- Sarkozy's response, triggering the French-German War.
 
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