Explain the AH Quote

[ThatOneGuy]

"Blessed be the Pagans."

Quote by Pope Leo VI after the Battle of Rome in 850. As the soldiers of the Sicillian Caliphate advanced on the city all hope looked lost and the Pope prepared to flee to Francia. However, at that same moment a large host of Norse raiders arrived at Rome prepared to pillage. However, Leo saw this as an opportunity and bribed the leader of the Norse band (who some say was the legendary viking Ragnar Lothbrok) to fight the Muslims. The Vikings managed to take the advancing host by surprise the next morning and forced them to retreat. Soon after reinforcements from Francia arrived and the Muslim armies were forced to retreat, saving Rome from conquest. In the aftermath Leo paid the bribe again as thanks and gave a speech including the above quote and issuing a decree forbidding the forceful conversion of Norsemen to Christianity. The Leonian Decree was enforced for nearly two centuries until the fall of the Danelaw and the Mercian King's "Twenty One Heads" decree.

"All I see around me is death and decay. Wherever one travels people suffer, men die and villages lay abandoned. This is the legacy of our forefathers."

 

[Kylia]

"All I see around me is death and decay. Wherever one travels people suffer, men die and villages lay abandoned. This is the legacy of our forefathers."

The Black Death proved to be utter devastation for Europe, killing 85% of the population (not that Africa or Asia fared better), but it was exacerbated by the fact that the Catholic Church began burning the infected and the suspected infected and anyone who knew the suspected infected (or so it seemed) at the stake. Two hundred years later, the Black Death still ravages Europe and the population is miniscule, with whole swaths of countryside empty, hence the above quote.

I am not going to bring back the dead, Mr. President. Short of that, how may I help you?

 

[wiwerse]

I am not going to bring back the dead, Mr. President. Short of that, how may I help you?

Said the captured Adolf Hitler after a long time in re-education camps to the US president when asked for proper recompense.

The Taiga was deep and dark, but in the middle lay a vast swath of desert.

 

[Alias_The_J]

The Taiga was deep and dark, but in the middle lay a vast swath of desert.

The English describing the colonization of Siberia, referring to the lightly-populated forest giving way to the herder-inhabited tundra. (In the 19th century, "Desert" referred to any uninhabited land, as in "deserted." This survives in some expressions today, such as "desert island", which are usually highly vegetated even in modern accounts.)

"Estimate: You can be heard in Texas."

 

[Kylia]

"Estimate: You can be heard in Texas."

The first non-preprogrammed sarcastic comment ever uttered by a machine intelligence, in this case, Jade Fields in 2068, after being yelled at by the director of the project developing it in Southern California for refusing to participate in further experiments without payment.

I think there's only way to settle this question, General. A good old-fashioned cook-off.

 

[Lions21]

I think there's only way to settle this question, General. A good old-fashioned cook-off.

To settle the question of the inheritance of Naples and to prevent further bloodshed in the Italian wars between France and Spain the Pope mediates between the two powers and arranges for the conflict to be settled by a cook off between the two greatest chefs of their respected countries.

The cooking will be judged by his holiness the Pope personally to prevent bribery prevailing in the contest. France sends its greatest chef Pepe la Pew and Spain sends its greatest chef, Sebastien 'speedy' Gonzales a former conquistador who gained his nickname from his rapid advancement into the Mexican interior.

The cook off became a decisive victory for Spain with Speedy Gonzales' use of new ingredients such as Chili peppers from the new world and subsequently Naples was awarded to Spain.

"O' fellow men of Virginia who amongst you will not pick up their rifle and march for the rightful heir to Washington's throne, King Robert E. Lee!?!"

 

[Kylia]

"O' fellow men of Virginia who amongst you will not pick up their rifle and march for the rightful heir to Washington's throne, King Robert E. Lee!?!"

A call by Baron James Stuart to rally volunteers to fight under the Leeist Faction in the War of American Succession. The war started after George Washington's Great-Grandson died without issue, leaving two candidates, Robert E Lee and Richard Hamilton, as viable heirs to the throne. The northern states rallied around the abolitionist New Yorker Hamilton, and the southern states around Lee, who was personally opposed to slavery but did not favor abolition (his ideal goal was a phased buyout).

Really, though, the war was an economic conflict between regional elites, and Hamilton's 'abolitionism' was largely a prop. The North lost, and Lee became king, while Hamiltonian historians would begin to push the narrative that the war really had been about abolition entirely.

"You can't just murder your way out of every problem!"

"What about maiming? Can I maim my way out?"

"No maiming either."

"Nonlethal stabbing? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

"...Fine."

 

[wiwerse]

O' fellow men of Virginia who amongst you will not pick up their rifle and march for the rightful heir to Washington's throne, King Robert E. Lee!?!"

Said by Lee's brother rallying support against the republicanist George Washington JR, the secondborn son of George Washington suspected to have killed his older brother and rumoured to wish to abolish the monarchy. Robert E. Lee was a ward of George Washington and in many ways raised as his heir and favoured son. Lee and his brother was now Rallying support against George Washington JR.

Oh how the mighty have fallen, oh how the once great North is diminished. But we can restore it! Together

 

[wiwerse]

A call by Baron James Stuart to rally volunteers to fight under the Leeist Faction in the War of American Succession. The war started after George Washington's Great-Grandson died without issue, leaving two candidates, Robert E Lee and Richard Hamilton, as viable heirs to the throne. The northern states rallied around the abolitionist New Yorker Hamilton, and the southern states around Lee, who was personally opposed to slavery but did not favor abolition (his ideal goal was a phased buyout).

Really, though, the war was an economic conflict between regional elites, and Hamilton's 'abolitionism' was largely a prop. The North lost, and Lee became king, while Hamiltonian historians would begin to push the narrative that the war really had been about abolition entirely.

"You can't just murder your way out of every problem!"

"What about maiming? Can I maim my way out?"

"No maiming either."

"Nonlethal stabbing? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

"...Fine."

Oh damn it

 

[Violet Rose Lily]

"You can't just murder your way out of every problem!"

"What about maiming? Can I maim my way out?"

"No maiming either."

"Nonlethal stabbing? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

"...Fine."

A mocking play about King Carlos II of Spain. In this scene, the Prince Carlos is having a conversation with his much put upon wife, Elisabeth of France about his rivalry with his father, King Philip of Spain. Many rumors persist that this actually is an exaggerated account of an actual conversation as Elisabeth was known to be the only one who could control her husband's violent temper.

I never wanted to marry that Spanish cow anyway.

 

[CountDVB]

I never wanted to marry that Spanish cow anyway.

A comment made over how Isabella of Castille/Spain refused to marry the King of Aragon. This widened the division between the as Aragon would end up going closer to Naples (later, the two Sicilies) while becoming a prominent shelter for Protestants, strenghtenin the movement. Isabella meanwhile found her attempts at claiming the Portuguese crown failed, she would end up threatened by seperatist factions. She only remained in power by uniting Spain with Morocco's crown to become Al-Andalus once more, with her even converting to Islam when a "miracle" saved her from a Catholic mob.

"I don't know what is more frightening: Napoleon's invasion of Britain through hot-air balloon or pioneering modern biological warfare via the first so-called "germ bombs". Regardless, it got him what he wanted and then some."

 

[Atterdag]

"I don't know what is more frightening: Napoleon's invasion of Britain through hot-air balloon or pioneering modern biological warfare via the first so-called "germ bombs". Regardless, it got him what he wanted and then some."

”Napoleon” was a French band that got outrageously popular in Britain during the 1980’s. The band’s grand tour of Britain was nicknamed “the hot-air balloon tour” since that’s how the band’s four chief members crossed the channel. Even though it was a big financial success the concerts were blamed for for the spike in venereal diseases through Britain’s youth, to the point that they were called “germ bombs” in press.

“That’s the bullet that changed the world... twice.”

 

[Alias_The_J]

Oh how the mighty have fallen, oh how the once great North is diminished. But we can restore it! Together

Screed of the Canadian Unionist Party, which wanted to integrate the Provinces into the United States after a series of disastrous economic decisions by a Labour government in the 1950s, followed by equally-bad decisions by a hyper-conservative Christian Fundamentalist government in the 1970s. As of 2020, neither the United States nor the Canadian Commonwealth have been able to agree to any integration plan.

Choose:
"Hi! SALLIE MAE here to bring you a revolutionary new product you won't believe!"
AND/OR
“That’s the bullet that changed the world... twice.” Courtesy of @Atterdag

 

[wiwerse]

That’s the bullet that changed the world... twice.”

Recent research has found that the bullet that killed Karl XII of Sweden, popularly referred to as "Carolus Rx" was the same bullet that would centuries later start the first world war. Historians are puzzled and mystified as to how this came to be, yet the science doesn't lie.

Such a war has never been fought before or since, yet I pray every future war might be just like it.

 

[Kylia]

Such a war has never been fought before or since, yet I pray every future war might be just like it.

An elderly Falkenhayen regarding the Second Weltkrieg, a brutal, bloody, prolonged war fought between the German-led Europa Pact and the Russian-American Northern Alliance. The ground fighting in Western France and the Ukraine was the bloodiest even seen in human history, with both sides reduced to bayonetts and fists and knives as supply shortages in bullets, bombs, and artillery shells defined the war after the first few years. In the end, the war was won by Germany in 1953 (it started in 1940), after the Germans unleashed monstrous chemical weapons against the Russians and the Americans allies in Africa. But the population of all beligerents had dropped by at least 25% - the war had been sustained by an almost mad energy all its own by the end.

Falkenhayen, however, being a bloody-minded butcher, thought the whole thing glorious.

"...and that's how the Italian Mafia and the Japanese Yakuza took over the island of Ceylon. Any questions?"

 

[ThatOneGuy]

"...and that's how the Italian Mafia and the Japanese Yakuza took over the island of Ceylon. Any questions?"

Quote by a university professor in Harvard wrapping up a history lesson on the 1976 Cleyonian War. In it the Mafia, which had been using the island basically as a stop over on their dope smuggling routes between China and South Africa, and the Yakuza which ran many rackets on the island fought the government of Ceylon after the Governor General issued a new law authorizing the Ceylonian Defense Force to be used in anti-gang activities. The Yakuza and Mafia on the island were hit hard and at first it seemed like it would work. But in a secret meeting in Saigon Mafioso bosses and Yakuza heads met and worked out a temporary alliance. They then went on an all out offensive against the Ceylonian government for six weeks, culminating in a Yakuza/Mafia attack on the Governors Palace. The fighting was brutal, uncommonly so for both the Mafia and Yakuza, but ended with the Mafia and Yakuza forcing the Governor General to retract the edict and loosen most of their regulations. This lasted for all of 20 days before a Spanish Army Division landed on the island and exterminated both groups in a campaign some called barbaric.

"Just close your eyes and imagine its a steak you big fuckin baby."

 

[CountDVB]

"Just close your eyes and imagine its a steak you big fuckin baby."

A line aimed from the uncut version of an episode of Family Guys, a sequel made to Family Guy. Made 15 years after Family Guy ended in 2003, it focuses on Chris as a single father (with the identity of the mother remaining unknown) and his son taking in Stewie, suffering from college burnout, and helping his brother out while in Quahog and dealing with the older characters. It has been described as The Simpsons meets Two and a Half Men with a bit of The Office in it. The line was muttered by Stewie to his nephew refusing to eat his mushed up vegetables.

"Who would've expected Louis Riel's plan to make Manitoba a regional power actually worked?! Like, even the British couldn't believe it and they signed the Oregon Territory over to him. And the US couldn't do anything about it!"

 

[Plateosaurus]

"Who would've expected Louis Riel's plan to make Manitoba a regional power actually worked?! Like, even the British couldn't believe it and they signed the Oregon Territory over to him. And the US couldn't do anything about it!"

From The Mark Critch Report, a CBC news show debuting 2007 about the anniversary of Manitoba Republic.

"Our laws clearly state a well-regulated militia, and this group certainly ain't well-regulated."

 

[CountDVB]

"Our laws clearly state a well-regulated militia, and this group certainly ain't well-regulated."

A scathing comment over the various so-called 'militia groups' arguing for them to be recognized not as groups of interest for law enforcement. Namely, the case was massively one-sided and made the militia movement into a joke. Many note that his led to the rise of militia violence to try and be taken seriously, which led to many being arrested and jailed.

"I replaced all the coal power plants with nuclear power plants by the 1990s. I can and will make the car forsake oil for good by the 2010s."

 

[Kylia]

A scathing comment over the various so-called 'militia groups' arguing for them to be recognized not as groups of interest for law enforcement. Namely, the case was massively one-sided and made the militia movement into a joke. Many note that his led to the rise of militia violence to try and be taken seriously, which led to many being arrested and jailed.

"I replaced all the coal power plants with nuclear power plants by the 1990s. I can and will make the car forsake oil for good by the 2010s."

Richard Magron, the son of a the biggest coal power planet owner who inherited his fathers company in 1981. He immediately began phasing out for nuclear power, paving the way for nuclear power across the US. By 1998, coal power was virtually dead. In 2001, he set his eyes on pioneering an electric car that could replace oil cars. Unfortunately, this plant didn't quite succeed, but he did see 50% replacement by 2022, the day he died.

My name is Richard Henry Lee, Virginia is my home. And I am here to run for Lord President of the Colonial Council of British North America!