1960-1968 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
1968-1972 Hubert Humphrey (D)
1972-1980 John Connally (R)
1980-1988 John Glenn (D)
1988-1996 Pete Wilson (R)
1996-2000 Joe Biden (D)
2000-2004 John McCain (R)
2004-2012 Sherrod Brown (D)
2012-???? Rick Perry (R)
Lyndon B. Johnson (Democratic, 1961-69): Johnson - the archetypical corrupt and domineering machine politician - seized the Democratic nomination from an Addison's-ridden Kennedy and waged a gruelling election campaign riddled with dirty tricks against the equally-shady Nixon. The '60 election was a low point in the nation's history, and few had any real hope for the Texan's time in office. Yet, once in power, Johnson made it clear that he was done compromising: healthcare, welfare, a War on Poverty, and - following his rout of Rockefeller and the Eastern Establishment in '64 - civil rights were seized upon by the Johnson Administration with an almost messianic zeal. Shady union connections and a keen sense of political manoeuvring kept the peace between business and labour, while negotiations with Khruschev kept the Cold War frosty but quiet. It wasn't all fun and games, as Cuba's anti-American rhetoric grew with each failed CIA assassination attempt on Castro and a steady stream of American "advisors" trickled into Vietnam, but these were of little concern to the average Joe and Jane Q. Public. LBJ was fiercely divisive, but what cannot be argued is that he made his mark like no other President since Roosevelt.
Hubert Humphrey (Democratic, 1969-73): Poor hapless Humphrey. Browbeaten by eight years as Johnson's VP-slash-punching bag, he seized the nomination from the radical Goldwater with an optimistic and open campaign described by one off-the-record staffer as "everything that Johnson was not". Unfortunately, this would prove more accurate than he'd planned. Humphrey was a believer in the best of humanity, a belief that was sorely tested by a wave of strikes, student protests, and racial violence in the South. Abroad, an attempted surgical strike into Cuba became a grinding stalemate, and Vietnam grew uglier and uglier. A primary challenge by a bitter John Kennedy helped ensure Humphrey's narrow loss in the general election - the perfect capstone for his four short and tragic years in office.
John Connally (Republican, 1973-81): A fading economy, social unrest, and foreign quagmire - Humphrey's blood was in the water and a hell of a lot of sharks were circling. Reagan, Romney, even Nixon were all in the running, but ultimately the nomination was seized by Connally, the dark horse to end all dark horses. Connally, a wheeler-dealer ex-Democrat, narrowly won the general election and entered office with a divided GOP and a split Congress. With such an inauspicious start, few expected much of the new administration. But John Connally was a man on a mission. Backed by his cadre of advisors (the so-called "Texas Cabal"), he set about making his mark. Wage and price controls, coupled with stimulus packages for the more...
cooperative businesses, buoyed the economy, while a repressive law and order programme kept all but the most radical student protesters off the streets. Abroad, a massive troop surge finally toppled the Castro regime in '76, with Manuel Artime installed as President of the new Cuban Republic. Vietnam, meanwhile, remained at a steady boil, with neither side willing to risk open conflict. The Connally Administration remains a strange moment in political history - broadly successful yet uninspiring, conservative yet bipartisan - led by a man who served as President for eight years and yet is known largely for his post-presidential corruption trial.
John Glenn (Democratic, 1981-89): After Johnson's division, Humphrey's disaster, and Connally's... well, whatever Connally was, the American people wanted someone inspiring. Stepping in to fill that void was former fighter pilot and two-term Senator John Glenn. Easily besting Vice President Conlan with a sunny, forward-looking campaign, Glenn set his sights on pushing the boundaries of American ingenuity. Funding for science and technology was expanded, a man was finally put on the Moon in '82, and nuclear power became the environmental
cause célèbre. It wasn't all silver linings - obstructionist Republicans held both houses of Congress from '84 to '86, and Health Secretary Harrison Williams resigned amidst a bribery scandal - but the Glenn Administration played a key role in the optimistic view of the "Mighty Eighties".
Pete Wilson (Republican, 1989-97): The back-to-back losses of Conlan and Laxalt had exposed the weakness of social conservatism in Glenn's America, and in '96 the nomination was seized by a new generation of Republicans, led by California Senator Pete Wilson. Popular opinion paints Wilson's administration as a continuation of Glenn's, and to some extent this was true. Both men were socially liberal, and although Wilson was further to the right on economics both men had a passion for trimming government fat. The renewed focus on innovation was continued under Wilson, although there was a clear shift towards using new technology against the increasingly belligerent Soviet Union and its proxy forces in Iran and India. Wilson's foreign policy, however, differed dramatically, as tensions were ramped up and funding for pro-American groups across Latin America and in aforementioned Iran were amped up. At the same time taxes were slashed and industries were deregulated, which, although it did give the already-strong economy a further boost, are considered by economists to be responsible for the crisis that followed ten years later.
Joe Biden (Democratic, 1997-2001): He was never going to be the nominee, until suddenly he was. He was always going to be President, until suddenly he wasn't. Such goes the tragic tale of Joe Biden. Synthesising the nostalgia of the Mighty Eighties with a return to the community spirit that had been lost amidst the rat-race of the Nineties, Biden won an unexpected but convincing victory over the scandal-ridden Schwarzenegger. He had a bold domestic policy - a public option healthcare plan, beefing up environmental protections, and a new offensive against the ongoing drug epidemic - but it was foreign affairs that would dominate (and doom) his time in the White House. To those watching at home, it seemed as if Biden had simply lost control: US-backed revolutionaries and their Gromyko-backed counterparts clashed in the Latin American "Summer of Lead", while a standoff in the Iranian Civil War brought the world closer to total annihilation than ever before. Worldwide tensions, a slowly fading economy, and (unbeknownst to the public) a potentially life-threatening aneurysm brought an end to Biden's bright future almost before it had begun.
John McCain (Republican, 2001-2005): McCain was in many ways the opposite of his predecessor. The tough-talking moderate, who had been lauded for his part in the '71 invasion of Cuba, won office on a platform of restoring American strength abroad. This he achieved, for the most part:
detente with the USSR in Iran, an end to the Summer of Lead, and strong support for the González regime in Cuba (despite complaints of authoritarianism). Unfortunately for McCain, his administration would be defined by domestic affairs - specifically the Second Great Depression. In 2003, Wilson-era deregulation combined with the world's most ill-timed computer error to demolish shares in some of the nation's largest banks almost overnight. McCain, always the maverick, attempted to pass a stimulus bill, but it was shot down by a bipartisan coalition of fiscal conservatives in the Senate. McCain tried several more times, but the crisis only grew worse, and few were shocked when "the Good General" lost the 2004 election in a landslide.
Sherrod Brown (Democratic, 2005-2013): Fiscal conservatism had been discredited by the Depression, and America was primed for a revolution. Sherrod Brown brought that revolution... at least at first. An unabashed liberal, a staunch champion of organised labour, and a rare Democratic victor in increasingly-conservative Ohio, Representative Brown quickly dispatched the floundering McCain and set his sights on revitalising the country. Aided by Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress, Brown dramatically restructured the banking sector, expanded social security spending, and finally made Biden's dream of a public option healthcare system a reality. Everyone loved Brown, and with the economy finally slipping back into gear he easily won re-election. This, unfortunately, is where the wheels started to fall off. The Soviet Union, plagued by a succession of would-be strongmen, suddenly and violently disintegrated in 2010. Brown sent troops in to restore order, pissing off Chechen separatists who weren't too pleased with these
pindosgiving guns to the new Georgian government. On January 18th, 2011, a group of Chechen militants hijacked an airplane and crashed it into the U.S. Bank Tower in Los Angeles. The 1/18 attack cost the lives of 1,534 American citizens, launched a lengthy "intervention" in the former Soviet Union, and put an end to Brown's "revolution".
Rick Perry (Republican, 2013-present): Rick Perry wants three things: a return to fiscal conservatism, an end to the "socialist liberal atheism" of Brown's social policies, and the complete obliteration of every one of those mass-murderers sons-of-bitches in Chechen. He's a bold and brash new presence on the political stage, but these three things won him the election, and like it or not it looks like he's here to stay...
