Es Geloybte Aretz - a Germanwank

[Tobit]

Hahaha yes, I love the idea of a Lamaist Central Asian empire.

 

[carlton_bach]

Hahaha yes, I love the idea of a Lamaist Central Asian empire.

The main point is, though: Britain will not.

 

[carlton_bach]

Good to hear that. Also thanks for pointing out my misunderstanding regarding German battleships! It sounds as if they have enough to protect their shores and rule the Baltic - and with Britain either neutral or allied this is more than enough.

Adding to that decreased German threat a couple of friendly gestures will also be helpful.

One thing we have to keep in mind is that both Albert and Wilhelm were decisively influenced by Viktoria, the Kaiserin Friedrich, but also the Princess Royal of Great Britain. They are almost ridiculously anglophile. And of course, Prussia - old Prussia, not the new Germany - has a long tradition of quite deliberately not caring about overseas. They can afford the gestures, especially if the Reichstag allows them.

One thing to consider now is the economy. Germany will still be the main economic competitor of Britain. This may easily overshadowed by political aims, but maybe there are ways to placate the British in this regard as well?

Good question. I don't think so, really. Germany is not likely to engage in aggressive trade wars, but the way they are seeing it, they have no obligation that way, either. Of course, German politics allows for no coherent line in economic policy, which means there is no real confrontation you could put your finger on. But I don't think this will be a marriage made in heaven.

Does Germany own Kiautschou ITTL? If not, they shold be proponents of an open door policy in China - but maybe also in the Ottoman Empire. That should go well with Britain.

They own Kiautschou, but it's not like they really wanted it. All the cool kids were annexing bits of China. Albert believes in the potency of German industry and wants its products to be exported everywhere, not just to Germany's holdings, so he would be all right with an open door policy. Wilhelm is really too young to have an economic policy. The Ottoman Empire is a bit different. Germany's primary interest there is strategic. For the last ten years, Albert has been preparing for the coming war with Russia, and the Ottomans are very important potential allies. He hopes they will be able to
a) keep the Straits closed (more for the benefit of Austria-Hungary than Germany, but the Black Sea fleet in the Mediterranean would be bad) and
b) keep Russian forces busy in the Caucasus and Balkans.
British policy regarding the Dardanelles overlaps, but the British tend to see the Ottomans more as a potential territory to colonise wheras Germany thinks of them as a power in its own right, and is wary of British ambitions. German military advisers (and Prussian before them) have been working closely with the Ottomans. Von der Goltz, an Ottoman WWI general in OTL, and ATL Germany's military intelligence chief, made his name that way.

As an aside, German advisers have also been busy in Japan since the early 1890s, and they will bring back some lessons of their own.

 

[Tobit]

The main point is, though: Britain will not.

I think it definitely sets up a situation with France-Russia vs. Germany-Britain. I wonder who America will back?

 

[carlton_bach]

I think it definitely sets up a situation with France-Russia vs. Germany-Britain. I wonder who America will back?

Most likely nobody. The American public is not too fond of British imperialism, but nobody is advocating backing the Tsar. Especially not ATL's Nicholas II, who has Goremykin as his chief minister and Pobedonostsev as his trusted adviser. But then, I'm not planning a remake-for-German-release of that British classic "The Guns of August".

 

[Tobit]

Most likely nobody. The American public is not too fond of British imperialism, but nobody is advocating backing the Tsar. Especially not ATL's Nicholas II, who has Goremykin as his chief minister and Pobedonostsev as his trusted adviser. But then, I'm not planning a remake-for-German-release of that British classic "The Guns of August".

I don't know too much about this time period. I do remember that one of the main points in "The Guns of August" was that France was tragically unready for the war. The French also seem to be the slowest to adapt to the situation. This was due to both logistical and leadership issues; it seems like a French Government that improves itself in either category would put up a much nastier fight. I wonder if WWI would be less of a trench slugging contest, and more of a war of maneuver.

 

[carlton_bach]

I don't know too much about this time period. I do remember that one of the main points in "The Guns of August" was that France was tragically unready for the war. The French also seem to be the slowest to adapt to the situation. This was due to both logistical and leadership issues; it seems like a French Government that improves itself in either category would put up a much nastier fight. I wonder if WWI would be less of a trench slugging contest, and more of a war of maneuver.

1903 is technologically different from 1914, it would depend. But I doubt you could entirely avoid trench warfare once you concentrate the men and firepower of huge conscript armies in such relatively small areas.

Anyway, as I said, this is not really about WWI. You can't rightly call it a "wank" if everyone dies in the end, and I am serious about this being a Germanywank TL.

 

[Barbarossa Rotbart]

Trench warfare was a consequence of the development of modern weapons. The first war with trench warfare was the American Civil War.

 

[Monty Burns]

I don't know too much about this time period. I do remember that one of the main points in "The Guns of August" was that France was tragically unready for the war. The French also seem to be the slowest to adapt to the situation. This was due to both logistical and leadership issues; it seems like a French Government that improves itself in either category would put up a much nastier fight. I wonder if WWI would be less of a trench slugging contest, and more of a war of maneuver.

There are other developments in place that improve the German situation. IOTL the German Junkers were somewhat hesitant in increasing the size of the Heer to prohibit non-noble officers. So far I didn't get the impression that the Emperor or the regent would follow that reasoning. And then Germany saves a sizeable part of that money that IOTL went to the Hochseeflotte.

To conclude, there is the possibility that France is better off, but IMHO it's a certainty that Germany will be better prepared. Now if Germany had more troops available in the early days of WWI, they might not get bogged down into trench warfare. On the other side, as stated before, technology makes trench warfare far more likely than a quick German victory...

 

[carlton_bach]

6 May 1903, Berlin

Those accustomed to the austere Prussian style of official Berlin will have found occasion to be surprised by the lavish display presented at the celebration for Emperor Wilhelm's 21st birthday. The old Charlottenburg palace had been refitted at considerable expense, equipped with electric lighting throughout its interior and a newly beautified garden in the baroque style. His Majesty Wilhelm III himself took up residence officially on the eve of his majority, as he enters into the responsibilities of his reign. The celebrations, while far from the grandeur that the Russian court offers, were modelled consciously on the more ostentatious style fashionable in other German kingdoms and principalities, whose rulers were all present. With formalities restricted to a parade of guards and cavalry regiments in the morning, the luncheon and an afternoon entertainment passed in a relaxed atmosphere. The Berlin opera performed The Magic Flute at the joint request of His Majesty and His Highness the Prince Regent, and a ball in the great hall of Charlottenburg palace concluded the day's festivities. True to Berlin fashion,. Even on so exalted an occasion, celebrations ended early, with the guests retiring at 11 pm.
It was noted with great approval by guiests and especially the visiting princes and kings of Germany that the decoration of the grounds and halls of Charlottenburg on this occasion omitted any reference to Prussia, the emphasis on which during Prince Regent Albert's tenure had led to some discontent especially in Bavaria and Saxony. Banners and bunting in the national colours of Germany dominated the scene, together with a flower tableau showing the head of Emperor Wilhelm I, and a number of allegorical displays on the virtues of the German Empire. Almost no reference was made to more recent history. The luncheon room, newly decorated for the purpose by a group of artists under the leadership of noted Belgian architect and painter Henry van de Velde was duly admired by cthe younger generation, but drew adverse commentary for its deviation from both the accustomed Berlin convention of naturalism and the more fantaisiste South German manner.
If this day's festivities may be taken as an indication of things to come, Berlin may confidently be expected to acquire considerably greater attraction to those inclined towards the finer things in life. The tastes of His Majesty are reputed to run towards the modern, eschewing all superfluous artifice, and his apopreciation of beauty in both nature and art are already praised widely. To what degree the shrunk civil list of Prussia and the parsimonious funds alloocated to the imperial court will allow him to act as a patron to his realm's great breadth of artistic genius is the only question that remains to be answered.

(Times, 7 May 1903)

Darkness slowly settled over the Charlottenburg gardens as the last of the guests departed, carriages and motor cars rattling noisily away. Wilhelm III, legally in full possession of his imperial powers, lazily lit a cheeroot and joined his uncle Albert standing by the open garden window.
“It still doesn't quite feel real.” he remarked to the pipe-smoking erstwhile Prince Regent. “Whjat do I do now?”
Albert nodded gravely. “I told you before, you will have to decide that for yourself. I hope I have given you everything you need, but what kind of ruler you become is your choice, not mine or anyone else's. Of course, if you want advice, I will not turn you way, but I cannot make your decisions for you.”
“Uncle!” Wilhelm protested, “nothing has changed as far as I am concerned.”
“Everything has, Wilhelm. It may not feel like that now, but as time goes by and we disagree on more and more things, you will find that my opinion carries less weight. But you are right, of course. You will need people to help you. They made me Prince Regent when I was just 27, and it took me years until I had figured out what I wanted. More importantly, until I had figured out what I had to do. No sane person would expect you to reign at 21, not really. But you can make a start now. And you have my promise: I will do everything I can to help and guide you, but I will not stand in your way. You are the king. I am just Albert.”
Wilhelm swallowed hard. “Thank you, uncle. You have given me everything I could ask for. I really feel bad calling on you so much more.”
Albert laid his hand on his nephew's shoulder, carefully avoiding the epaulet precariously perched there. “I am not Bismarck. I think I've spent too much of my time not being Bismarck, but what I resented most were his tantrums. You won't have me bossing you around. If I try, throw me out of the office. Or make me ambassador to Bulgaria.”
The emperor smiled thinly. “You would probably enjoy that.”
“Good hunting, plenty of forests for walks, better weather, practically no duties that a secretary couldn't manage... you know, I might. Throw in a good library and you've got a deal.”
“Not quite yet, I'm afraid. I need your political mind for a while still. First of all, I want to get a treaty with England. I know you've been trying hard, but if we just put in a little more, I think we can achieve it. I will need your help there.”
Albert shrugged. “I don't know. The British do not make treaties like that. Never have. The maritime agreement is all I could get, and I never allowed any moves that could look threatening. We have a lighthouse on Heligoland, and four policemen, that is it. I hoped it would be enough of a signal, but I wonder if we chose right. It looks like France and Russia remain our problem.”
“No help, then? We have to keep the army strong and hope God figures out something for our ships.” Wilhelm was still easy to disappoint.
“Not quite. Actually, I think that Britain would help us if there really was a war. I am not so sure about Austria, mind you.”
“Austria! But the treaties!”
“I am not telling you much of a secret when I say that keeping your word is what you ought to do, but it is not always what you will do. Countries abide by their treaties if it is in their interest. That is why you must always make treaties that are in both parties' interest, if you can. Bismarck was good at that. Austria has too much to lose and too little to gain in a war with Russia, but Britain would stand to lose if France were able to defeat us. Of course that is not certain, but a treaty will not make it much surer. The best you can do is see it never comes to that.”
Both men stood quietly for a few seconds, blowing smoke into the cooling air. Servants were busy below, clearing away tables and drapes.
“You mean, no war at all?”Wilhelm asked.
“I guess. No, you could still fight one, but these days the political situation doesn't really allow it. It's a problem of too few, too great powers. A war with France or Russia would be winnable, but ruinous. What would you take? France has no territory we would be able to keep, and Russia – you could get the Baltic shore or Poland, but it would not be worth the price. War with France and Russia would be ruinous. Austria will never go to war with us again, not in a century. England has no reason. And who else would dare? Sweden? The Netherlands? No, the situation forbids it. And to be honest, I think that is a good enough thing. I've never been in battle, and I don't miss it. Maybe we don't need to fight wars any more. How is that for future glory, Wilhelm?”
“Your word in God's ear, uncle. I would make my Germany great in peacetime, if I can. But if war comes, I am resolved to gain glory.”
Albert smiled. “You will do well enough to win it. It seems to be the new way of things – keep ready enough for war, and you will have peace. Augustus more than Alexander, I regret.”
“I'm fine with Augustus, if you can be my Maecenas and Agrippa. But it is late, I must go to bed.”
Wilhelm turned from the window, but his uncle beckoned him stop.
“Not 'must', Majesty. You will never have a fixed bedtime again in your life, unless you want it. Stay up as long as you please.”
Wilhelm smiled. “You're right there. When does an emperor go to bed? When do you?”
“Ten o'clock sharp, if work allows,” Albert retorted, “and up in time for the morning papers hot off the press. Governing a country is hard work, you will find.”

 

[Reichenfaust]

Very nice coronation ceremony, and I really like Albert's talk about no more war. That would be very good in the long run.

 

[King of Rome]

I likey! I'm always a fan of the more human approaches to a tl like this one, especially when it is interesting.

 

[arctic warrior]

Very good update - oh, that ever elusive Britain!

 

[carlton_bach]

Berlin, 7 May 1903

I saw the Great Emperor in person today. He looks even younger than they described him to me, but his men greatly respect him. He and his uncle met their African vassals in Berlin, and my father greeted him with a present of a prize bull and a royal headdress. The Emperor spoke to all his subjects, and when it was my father's turn,. He also spoke to me and offered to teach me in his school of pages. Tomorrow, I am to bid farewell to my father for many long years and learn the science of the Germans in Berlin, and return home to Hereroland a teacher. I am enormously proud and pray God make me equal to this great opportunity.

Diary of Friedrich Maharero, son of Samuel Maharero, ranked as a comital prince at the Berlin court.

 

[carlton_bach]

21 July 1903, Cambridge, Massachussetts

The fifth week of the International Congo Conference has passed once again without result or even the hint of an agreement. While the representatives of the civilised world are in unanimous accord that recent horrifying reports of governmental practices in the Congo Free State require action to be taken on behalf of common humanity, no unity could be achieved on how to proceed. The representation of the Congo sent by King Leopold of Belgium insists that any demands to relinquish his possession are based on vile calumnies, baseless libel and a foreign intrigue. Meanwhile, both France and Russia have voiced strong support for forcing the divestment of the Congo. A German suggestion, backed by young Emperor Wilhelm III, for a universal charter of colonial government regarding the treatment of native peoples was poorly received by both France and Britain, but met with considerable interest by the American and Russian delegation.

...

It remains to be hoped that the European powers will have retained enough common decency to ensure that they put a timely stop to the frightful atrocities of King Leopold's Congo in whatever fashion may be required. They are today setting a poor example to the dusky subjects they purport to elevate and seem little distinguishable from the vicious Chinese Boxers their forces have so recently subdued. To date, the glacial progress of negotiation and especially the obstructionist policy of Britain give little reason to be cheerful.

(New York Times commentary)

 

[MerryPrankster]

African vassals? Did the German Emperor set himself up as "paramount chief" to whom the tribes of the African colonies owed allegiance feudal-style?

 

[carlton_bach]

30 July 1903

“Captain Hintze,” the young emperor addressed his guest, “I have called on you to again congratulate you on your sterling performance. Your resolution to the release of German ships interned in Manila was a masterstroke of diplomacy.”
“Sire.” Whatever else was he supposed to say?
“And we have seen your reports as attache in St Petersburg, a truly difficult posting. Your credenntials are impeccable, and I believe that you are ready for a different, more responsible position. This would, however, require a sacrifice on your part.”
The naval officer nodded gravely. He was not quite sure what would come, but the government did not recall you all the way to Berlin for trifles.
“In short, we will require you to leave the naval service. Your employment as naval attache has demonstrated your suitability for the diplomatic service beyond any doubt, and the foreign minister agrees that your appointment to a more senior position is warranted. If you agree, your commission will be resigned effective as of today. You retire with the rank of Commodore.”
“Sire!” delighted surprise spread across the officer's face.
“And, - now comes the hard part – taker up your duties as ambassador to Japan at the court of the Meiji emperor. It seems opportune, in the light of our improving relations woith that country, to have a full ambassador in place. You will be instructed as to the details of your appointment in the next few weeks and are scheduled to depart on 12 September. That is, assuming you accept.”
“Of course I do, your Majesty. However, may I ask – why me?”
Wilhelm smiled eagerly. Albert, standing by his desk unobtrusively, looked on indulgently. The strage man on the other side seemed pleased, though he was more unreadable than anything else. Orientals did not puzzle Hintze as much as they did your average German, but he still found them hard to read.
“My government has been considering Germany's relationship top japan for a long time, and we havve recently concluded that a full ambassadorship would be appropriate. A suitable candidate will need to have a sound understanding of naval matters, a grasp of politics, and calm under pressure. You have shown all these qualities. And, as Envoy Katsunosuke has assured us, the appointment of a naval officer will be viewed positively. Also, I believe that extraordinary performance requires extraordinary rewards.”
Hintze came to attention. “Sire, I am deeply honoured.”
“And I am grateful, Commodore.”
“There is one more thing...” Prince Albert interjected. “Commodore, you must understand that the Japanese court is extremely rank-conscious. Much as it embarrasses me to say, the appointment of a non-noble to an ambassadorial position would be entirely inappropriate.”
“Yes, “Wilhelm added with a grin that was nothing short of malicious. “We will have to take care of that.”

 

[carlton_bach]

African vassals? Did the German Emperor set himself up as "paramount chief" to whom the tribes of the African colonies owed allegiance feudal-style?

No, technically they were his subjects through his protectorate. But Wilhelm really likes the Delhi Durbar, and since the imperial government recognises chiefly titles, he decided he wanted a fealty ceremony of his own. After all, he is, in theory, owed fealty by all German noble families.

And being Wilhelm, he managed to piss off the conservatives again. Plus, he will never know what he averted this day.

 

[carlton_bach]

23 November 1903

Junior Secretary Jacques Devray was feeling apprehensive. Apprising President Cavaignac of any kind of bad news was not considered a wise thing to do, generally. The man had a legendary temper.
“Monsieur le President, I am sorry. We have had a telegram from Brussels. King Leopold is trying to sell the Congo to his parliament. Apparently, he has contacted the foreign minister in the matter.”
The president looked at the young aide calmly for a second. He could see the fear in his eyes, and smiled.
“Devray, don't worry. I know you think this is very bad news, but he cannot. We have his undertaking of right of first refusal, and I'm afraid that is binding. I will instruct our ambassador to inform His Majesty accordingly.”
A few moments passed in silence.
“You may go. Leave the telegram on my desk here.”

 

[Monty Burns]

I just looked up that Hintze guy and if he's as successful in Japan as he was IOTL in other countries I guess if there's a war in the future, the Japanese will attack Wladiwostok. Nice!

I also like the Emperor's approach in the Congo conference. Good press with the US is always helpful, hopefully German administration of its colonies is reformed as well. I guess the obstructionist British policies end as soon as the French make their proposal...Ninja'd.