09 November 1905
“Why the HELL did he go and do this? WHY!?” Wilhelm's throwing arm was nothing much, and the newspaper he catapulted across the office disintegrated in a rather anticlimactic fashion rather than striking the wall. Von Ammersleben stood silently watching. He knew better than to intervene. General von Falkenhayn, uncharacteristcally without his full regalia in the imperial presence, looked on with quiet gratification. He had expected as much.
The problem, as he had almost come to expect, bore the name of Ludendorff. Because he was a career officer, and a rare bourgeois one in a shark tank full of vons, he was acutely interested in the next war. Like everyone in political Berlin, he assumed it would be with Russia. Von Falkenhayn was hesitant on that count since he could see not good reason to go to war with the Czar, but he had resigned himself that it might well happen months before he had learned of the depth of Germany's involvement in the Polish rising. Since Ludendorff was not only ambitious but also smart, he had come up with ideas for the war that were fairly practical. Some were so good that the general staff much preferred their Russian counterparts not to learn of them. And that was the problem, because Ludendorff, for all his brains, was not as smart as he thought. He had sold the whole thing to a paper.
It was, Wilhelm realised after his first outburst of rage, nothing like treason. Ludendorff had never been near the real war games aimed at Russia. He did not know the plans the general staff kept in their drawers. He even had taken the trouble to fictionalise the whole thing, with an insane pan-Slavist Czar Ivan as the villain and a youthful, dashing German general as the hero. It still came far too close to the real thing for comfort. And since the public was lapping it up, you could hear people on the streets of Berlin chatting amicably about whether it was better to go around the Pripyet Marshes north or south, and how many battleships it would take to shell Kronstadt into submission. Schoolboys doodled campaign maps into their atlases. The postwar plans for a German-ruled, Germanised Eastern Europe that dominated the final chapters – complete with the hero marrying a Volga German girl and settling down on an estate in Ukraine – were the talk of the town. Even the Reichstag's conservative faction had decided this would be a good issue to debate. It helped them distract their colleagues from the reform agenda and some even hoped to draw the Polish delegates to their side this way.
Wilhelm, of course, preferred people not to think about what was happening in Russia all that much.
“We can't well send him to the Solomon Islands, can we?”
Falkenhayn smiled thinly. The emperor had his sense of humour back, at least. “East Africa should be enough. But we will have to bring home the message that this was a bad idea.”
“I don't think we can stop him from becoming a star to the Pan-Germanists, now. Veto all foreign decorations and give him none, that should be a start. I'd rather not freeze him out of the service entirely, though.”
“Agreed, your Majesty. We need men like him. He was slated to go to Heeresinspektorat IV before he started running his mouth, but now I don't think he's got a chance.
“Oh, well.” Wilhelm felt defeated. “Let him sit in Africa for a whike and see if his admirers don't find someone else to send love letters to.”
Falkenhayn saluted and picked up his briefcase. The emperor turned to the window, then back. “One more thing, general.”
“Yes, your Majesty?”
“People will be talking about war with Russia, so I suppose journalists will start asking officers questions. We should have something to tell them.”
“Sire? The general staff does not give interviews.”
“I know. That might be the problem, at last in part. I am not suggesting you open your war plans to them. Maybe it would be better if a civilian politician did it, anyway. People will be less ready to listen to a lone crazy voice if they have something more official.”