The Howery Campaign of 2009. The systematic burning of the Canadian prairies was a crime against humanity. Several million acres of land was scorched, property damages ran close to a trillion dollars, nearly a million people were displaced and thousands died.
You wanna Talk about Burning Farmland, What about When those Damn Birds used us as Target Practice for their Battery around Proxima ...
FUCKIN' NoFlies Launched 48 Antimatter-Catalyzed Fission-Fusion Rockets at us at .1 c, Just so they Could Evaluate their Destructiveness on a Planetary Body!
We Showed them though, When we Trashed their Shrapnel Loads as they Entered The Solar System; Unfortunately we were Forced to Engage The Ocean-Penetrators Closer in towards Earth, Couldn't Depend on a Lucky Hit Detonating a Shaped Charge and Spraying Balls of Depleted-Uranium Back into The Rest of The Swarm, it was a Damned Miracle we Splashed The Two OPs we did ...
The Last Four Opies were The Real Threat though, Even Breaking them up would've Only Thrown DU Nuggets All over The Globe, So we had to Try and Nudge them onto an Escape Trajectory out of The System; Luckily The One Targeted on The Caribbean had been Destroyed, However, The One Planned for The Eastern Pacific was Damaged but Otherwise Intact, Too Damaged as it Turned out, it Fragmented when The First Interceptor Hit and Caused Pin-Point Mega-Tonne Impacts Along The California Coast and on
Hawai'i!
The One Aimed at The Western Pacific was Also a Casualty, And The Ones Trying to Drop on Either Side of The Indian Ocean were Pushed Away with Multiple Impactors; we Should've Saved a Few More though, 'Cause we Ran out while Diverting The Opie from The Atlantic Side of Gibraltar, Goddamn Bogey Burst in The Smog over Mexico City, Showering Deyu Dust up and down The Great Plains, And When that Shit Splashed down it was Not Only Radioactive, Hot from Entry, And Poisonous to The Crops, it Also RANDOMLY Set itself on Fire whenever it Came into Contact with Free Oxygen ...
It's The ESA's Fault though, they Saved their European Asses, while The USA Took One for The Team, But we won't Forget, as Soon as we're Back on our Feet, they're Next!
