DBWI: Top 5 Worst USSA Chairmen

[Cyclone]

List the top 5 worst Chairmen of the Council of People's Commissars, from 1-5 (1 being the worst, 5th being the least bad, etc). This thread isn't for discussion of the old USA Presidency, so don't put any of them in there.

1. David North (SWP) - I guess Mr. North demonstrated for us all the disadvantages of Trotskyism with his "American Way Forward" foreign policy (AKA shit all over the people on our side because they don't cleave closely enough to Sinclairism).

2. Jimmy Carter (SDP) - Lead the United States into economic turbulence with his brief flirtation with capitalism with his so-called "New Economic Policy," trying desperately to sugar coat it by referencing Lenin's pragmatism. Goddamn Social Democrats.

3. Jack Barnes (CPUSSA) - Tried to make it so professionals couldn't vote (some "only workers and farmers" bullshit) and used the MSS to fuck with Japanese politics.

4. John Reed (CPUSSA) - Botched the peace in Europe. We had the opportunity to neutralize Germany, but instead we got this mess with Germany falling under mixed capitalist and Soviet influence. You would expect better from a former Commissar of Foreign Affairs...

5. Bernie Sanders (SWP) - Just... ugh. Awful conduct with regards to Cuba. I think most Americans agree that him sending back the boat of political refugees was one of the worst moments for America in our lifetimes. You can't give these people an inch!

 

[Aelita]

OOC: I see my timeline has spawned another loosely inspired DBWI

IC: Honestly, Reed wasn't that bad. He was a more than able wartime leader, and he is the man most responsible for setting up the post-Second World War world, and the alliances with Mexico, India, Japan, Israel and Iran that endure to this day. Sure, he screwed up the Germany-Italy thing, but that's the price you pay for democracy.

 

[Snowman23]

They are all oppressors of the people! Long Live The Free States of America!

OOC: Wow, I remember always being the firebrand anti-communist terrorist in these! What fun!

 

[Aelita]

They are all oppressors of the people! Long Live The Free States of America!

OOC: Wow, I remember always being the firebrand anti-communist terrorist in these! What fun!

Shoo! get back under your bridge, troll!

OOC: I'm sure you're a wonderful human being.

 

[Cyclone]

IC: Honestly, Reed wasn't that bad. He was a more than able wartime leader, and he is the man most responsible for setting up the post-Second World War world, and the alliances with Mexico, India, Japan, Israel and Iran that endure to this day. Sure, he screwed up the Germany-Italy thing, but that's the price you pay for democracy.

That's great Mr. Biafra (though I think Reed did a lot better w/r/t foreign policy in his position as a Commissar than as Chairman, and some of that stuff happened as a Commissar), but who are your 5 worst Chairmen, and why?

They are all oppressors of the people! Long Live The Free States of America!

Well then which are the five worst oppressors of the people, Mr. Bourgeois Democrat? It's not like we don't have enough Chairmen to go around; I mean in '83 (a good year for democracy), we went through thirteen Chairmen in seven months.

 

[RCAF Brat]

Where is the option for 'All of them"? But if I'm forced to pick one I'll have to go with Browder. The man ended freedom and democracy in the US for Christ's sake! The only reason that the Commonwealth and the rest of the Free World didn't go Red after '44 is because we got the Bomb first... Just the threat of those things has been enough to keep your grubby hands off of Europe, South Africa, and South America. Since the collapse of Red Russia in 1995, the US is the only Red nation left on God's green Earth. May you follow them into freedom one day.

OOC: A "USSA" would be as much of a utopia as the USSR or the People's Republic of China.

 

[Cyclone]

Just the threat of those things has been enough to keep your grubby hands off of Europe, South Africa, and South America.

Good job protecting the apartheid regime, by the way.

Edit: By the way, is "collapse" really the correct word to use for the success of the Liberal Democrats in the USSR? They mostly just changed all the names and filed off the edges when they got in power.

 

[The Vulture]

While he's by no means the worst, Sinclair could've handled things a lot better. Still, being the first Chairman after the Glorious Revolution without any precedence must be hard, so I'm willing to cut him some slack.

 

[RCAF Brat]

Good job protecting the apartheid regime, by the way.

So? You Yanks are ones to talk... All your "People's Commissioners" (or whatever your dictators are called) seems to be A: from the States of the Midwest or the North-East, and B: Lily White. All of the functionaries who don't fit that description run things in the "Southern Military Administration Zone" where the local whites are either "Bourgeois Capitalists" or "Fascist Swine" depending on the day of the week...

 

[TNF]

1. Paul Robeson (SWP) - While he was better (slightly) than Chairman North, and goes down positively in other regards for being the first African-American Chairman of the People's Commissars and whatnot, Robeson himself had a terrible tenure. The Jubilee Riots of '76, the botch response thereof, and his own resignation thereafter were probably the largest capitalist uprising against the government yet, and Robeson stood transfixed as a deer in the headlights.

2. Dorothy Day (CWM) - Ugh, where do I start? Day completely undermined the socialist order that was being constructed for years and years with her swift shift to anarcho-syndacalism in the sixties threw the decade into a whirlwind, allowing the Soviet Union to push their brand of Stalinism down the throats of our brothers and sisters in Latin America. Her attempt at repressing the sexual revolution ended up saddling us with a huge baby boom, too.

3. Abbie Hoffman (SWP) - While I have to applaud Hoffman for bringing down the Day government in the sixties, he wasn't too much of an improvement. His revolutionaries were just as disorganized and chaotic, and it wasn't until Chairman North came to power that we managed to fully recover from the sixties. Not to mention his awful drug habit. The man addressed the Comintern while high on cocaine, for chrissake!

4. Ralph Nader (Green) - Ohhh boy. Don't even get me started on Chairman Nader. Sure, we finally got a lot of the environmental legislation that the Communists denied us from the thirties and upward, but we also got the biggest spoiler effect in political history thanks to Nader. He refused to step aside in 2000 to allow McReynolds to move forward the country's left, and pretty much guaranteed a win for the Commies.

5. Barbara Ehrenreich (SWP) - I hesitate to put Chairwoman Ehrenreich on here because of her great domestic policy achievements (a GINI coefficient of 8! Can you believe it?), though I do so because of her stunning lack of foreign policy finesse. She barely lifted a finger when the Beijing Spring reforms fell through in the face of Comintern's pressure!

Guide to Party Abbreviations:

SWP (Socialist Worker's Party): Trotskyist
SDP (Social Democratic Party): Social Democratic
CPUSSA (Communist Party of the United Socialist States of America): Marxist-Leninist
CWM (Catholic Worker Movement): Anarcho-Syndicalist
Green (Green Party): Eco-socialist

 

[Cyclone]

So? You Yanks are ones to talk... All your "People's Commissioners" (or whatever your dictators are called) seems to be A: from the States of the Midwest or the North-East, and B: Lily White. All of the functionaries who don't fit that description run things in the "Southern Military Administration Zone" where the local whites are either "Bourgeois Capitalists" or "Fascist Swine" depending on the day of the week...

As opposed to Europe, where there are lots of black people in charge.

Dealing with extremist terrorists in Haiti is pretty hard. Maybe you could try it sometime. Like, oh, I don't know, in Algeria?

(a GINI coefficient of 8! Can you believe it?)

I sure can't. Everyone knows that was good old fashion propaganda bullshit (they changed the definition of GINI for like a year, lol). It was totally 18, most foreign economists agree.

Edit: OOC: GINI coefficient is a number that you can't just throw as low as you like, ugh. 11? 8? It don't go below maybe 15 or so; Cuba in 1986 had 22, for example.

 

[TNF]

I sure can't. Everyone knows that was good old fashion propaganda bullshit (they changed the definition of GINI for like a year, lol). It was totally 18, most foreign economists agree.

Either way, it's the lowest coefficient in the industrialized world. What does the European Confederation have to show? A 45-50 GINI?

 

[Cyclone]

Either way, it's the lowest coefficient in the industrialized world. What does the European Confederation have to show? A 45-50 GINI?

Very true, and very valid. An 0.18 GINI coefficient is very low and impressive. I don't know why Ehrenreich insisted on artificially lowering it.

 

[RCAF Brat]

As opposed to Europe, where there are lots of black people in charge.

I'm actually from the same continent as you. But even I know that there are more black MPs in the British parliament alone then there are in the entirety of your government, including at the state and local level.

Dealing with extremist terrorists in Haiti is pretty hard. Maybe you could try it sometime. Like, oh, I don't know, in Algeria?

If you hadn't invaded Haiti, you wouldn't have that problem now would you? And you still dare to call us imperialists after pulling that stunt. The "Freedom Fighter" in Haiti just want the "Rouges" to leave. "Deadeye" MANPAD SAMs are just their way of asking you politely...

Now I wasn't referring to Haiti when talking about your "Southern Military Administration Zone". I was referring to Mississippi and Alabama... The KKK may be a bunch of Nazis, but the "Southern Constitutional Liberation Corps" sure aren't. All they want is free and fair elections where they don't have to vote for one of the four "Red" parties if they don't want to. The SCLC might explain why you have the better part of five divisions deployed in those two states.

 

[statichaos]

This thread is counterrevolutionary as a whole. You people should be ashamed.

 

[Cyclone]

I'm actually from the same continent as you. But even I know that there are more black MPs in the British parliament alone then there are in the entirety of your government, including at the state and local level.

You know what? I'm not even engaging in this argument.

This thread is counterrevolutionary as a whole. You people should be ashamed.

Who were the five most counterrevolutionary Chairmen, then?

 

[Snowman23]

Down with the Chairmen! He is the oppressor of the American people! To arms my friends! Bring down the Marxists party ruling class! Revolution! Viva Paine! Viva Lincoln!

 

[Communist Wizard]

Man, have General Montag and the rest of his cronies done a good propaganda job up north in Canada! Order and stability against the evil commissars in the south, eh? Too bad for those dead protestors in Ottowa. And Vancouver. And Calgary. But Montag seems to get 98% of the votes for the past 15 years anyways.
Arguing with the Canadian "patriots" is pointless. When all they can do is throw their own military dictatorship's soundbites, why not just tune in to the Canadian [state] news?

 

[Hawkeye]

Well since I'm from Newfoundland and lived through the occupation, I'd say all of them were pretty bad.

 

[Cyclone]

Which five, would you say, were the worst oppressors? Browder, for his involvement in the Revolution? Sinclair, for his position as the first?

Or perhaps Johan Beckenbauer, who spent a grand total of six days in the position after he let slip the words "the proletariat? Fuck the proletariat," during an "off the record" conversation that happened to be recorded? That was pretty much it for the Monster Raving Loony Party. I remember I once voted for an MRLP candidate. He was an alright guy, a wee bit out of it, maybe, but I'll be damned if he didn't look good in a pair of overalls.