DBWI: Tell Me More About Europe

5Wo0b73


Author's Note: The above map is Europe, c. August 2011

I have a few questions to ask about Europe, if anyone on AH.com will care to answer them for me:

1.) Will the European Union bail out the Roman Empire?

2.) Speaking of which, isn't it strange how the the Roman Empire hasn't ruled Rome for the last 1500 or so years? There are more Turkish than Latin speakers in the Basileia ton Rhomaion these days. That last war in the 1940s where the Romans took over Italy doesn't count really count.

3.) There's more booze than in God's own liquor cabinet in Cordoba, but for the life of me, I cannot find a single piece of pork in that city. How come? Or am I just looking in the wrong places? Al-Andalus has been a place of refuge for Christian schismatics from Europe for centuries. I know there has to be some.

Or did most of the schismatics move to Cadiz or Toledo?

4.) Does the Golden Horde really call itself that, or is the name just a holdover from Medieval times?

5.) Why does Bavaria insist on maintaining an Admiralty despite being a double landlocked country?

6.) Why does the Prussian Army still field formations of Teutonic Knights? Are they really monastic knights, or is their name a throwback to the Crusaders of old?

7.) Why is the nation of Georgia so radically different in culture from their Roman and Mongol neighbors? Also, why hasn't it been conquered?

8.) Why is Moscow so ugly in comparison to other Eastern European capitals like Sarai, Novgorod, Warsaw or Constantinople?

9.) What language does the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's government conduct its affairs in?

10.) Speaking of which, why does the English Government conduct all official business in French?
 
10.) Speaking of which, why does the English Government conduct all official business in French?

Well, I can answer that. They call the language French, but really it's the same as English, they're really only dialects of the same tongue. Both languages are quite different from what they were like when the Plantagenets first took the throne of both countries.

It's the somewhat similar to what happened when the Normans took over England in the eleventh century. By the late twelfth century, the Norman French and Old English had merged into a completely different language, which was basically a Germanic language that had borrowed a whole bunch of words and grammar from a Romance Language, and then shifted things around to accomodate the two.

With the long Plantagenet reign, almost the exact opposite has occurred, with French and English borrowing words and grammar from each other over such a long period that it's really not easy to figure out whether one is Germanic or the other Romance anymore. It's a bit more complicated than this, of course, but that's the gist. This is why the Modern English and Modern French of Shaquespier and Boilo-Despro is so much different from the Middle English of Chaucer and Middle French of Bodel.

If you were to compare the local dialects of Yorq vs. Bordo, you would easily see how different their language is. For that matter, just look at Doncirq vs. Calay right across the channel from each other.

But the standard language, prescribed by the English Ministry of Language, is basically all one thing, with only a number of lexical differences between the Oxfourd and the Paris Academies. They just happen to call this language English north of the Channel, and French south, and since the Capital is in Paris, the government speaks the version south of the channel.

Of course, this doesn't even get into the details about the colonial languages over in Occidentalia.
 
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1. Of course Europe will bail out the Romans - they may not be the power they used to be, but Rome's diplomatic strength is to be feared. There are few powers on the continent that don't acknowledge, on some level, Rome as the great father of their culture.

2. Well, that's been true ever since the 600s, when Greek largely replaced Latin as the state language. Admittedly, the Dual Monarchy situation and the use of Turkish as a second state language is somewhat newer. Pessimists say this is another splitting of the Empire into East and West, with only one piece surviving - optimists point to Poland-Lithuania and say that a split system can work just fine.

3. Honestly, this is less due to religious prohibitions and more a result of two factors: the Cordoban Flu of 1977 (yeah, I know they say swine flu now, but if those damned Syndicalists hadn't tried to cover it up this wouldn't have been half the mess it was) wiped out the country's pigs and made people rather disinclined to rebuild the industry, and a quirk in Cordoban trade policy that makes the meat (and wool - it's really a protection for the sheep industry) of hooved mammals quite expensive to import.

4. The Golden Horde calls itself that in informal use all the time - other countries started using it more after they struck oil at Baku back in 1920. The official name is much longer and harder to spell, I don't actually remember it right now.

5. Well, the Bavarian Admiralty has a grand fleet of river monitors and customs patrol boats. But to be honest, it's mostly a holdover from the days of the Holy Roman Emperor. King Ludwig III was the last Holy Roman Emperor back when the institution was restructured into the Zollverein back in 1877, and a lot of the rump HRE institutions were absorbed into the Bavarian government. Bavaria actually ran the postal services of the rest of the former HRE until 1935, you know. Rumor has it the Bavarian Admiralty is kept around as a place for the king to send his least competent relatives - you know the phrase "Bavarian admiral at the World Science Congress" to describe someone who's in over their head?

6. I guess the Teutonic Knights are sort of cavalry - some of them are on motorbikes, and the majority use something similar to these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vespa_150_TAP

Essentially, the Prussians keep them around as a sort of technological rival to the Austrian Lippizaner Brigade - instead of guys doing stunts on horses, they do stunts on motorbikes, mostly on motorbikes with recoilless rifles. Remember when they had the souped-up squad of them jump the Snake River Canyon, over in North America? Pretty cool.

7. Georgia's history is interesting. It stayed independent for quite some time as a vassal of the Romans, and though it was occaisionally conquered by the Golden Horde, they decided to keep it as a nominally independent client state. During the Liberal Revolutions of the 19th Century, Georgia was used by both these states as a dumping ground for radical political exiles. The idea was that they'd let all their radicals try to build a utopia in Georgia, keep the borders patrolled, and have a safety valve for their societies. To an extent, this has worked, though Georgia's politics have been somewhat confused. At present, the state is made up of 50 self-governing enclaves, each dedicated to its own political philosophy. Most are kept alive by donations from fellow believers in other nations, and petty brushfire skirmishes are common, though full-blown civil war has been avoided since 1957.

8. You're just not a fan of Muscovite architechure, I guess. Personally, I think the Neo-Functionalist buildings of Moscow have a certain charm to them that's lacking in the more organically built cities of Muscovy's neighbors. As for why Moscow is so uniform in its architecture, it was one of the last wooden cities on the continent, until the Great Fire of 1910. The city was finally rebuilt in concrete, granite, mica and steel, and built entirely according to Dimitri Sakharov's plans.

9. Well, Polish and Lithuanian, obviously. There's some outlying districts that use other languages, but the federal government only accepts two.

10. The capital of "England" has been Paris since 1500, you know. It would really make more sense to call the place France - the only reason the name "England" stuck around was that the English industrialized first. The island may have been producing 70% of the nation's GDP back in 1840, but really, the Brits are living in the past - they've been being economically carried by the French since at least the '40s.
 
1.) Will the European Union bail out the Roman Empire?

-Probably, their continued flailing around and ultimately important buisness connections are too important to let die, that is not say they will just not charge interest.

2.) Speaking of which, isn't it strange how the the Roman Empire hasn't ruled Rome for the last 1500 or so years? There are more Turkish than Latin speakers in the Basileia ton Rhomaion these days. That last war in the 1940s where the Romans took over Italy doesn't count really count.

-Agreed.

3.) There's more booze than in God's own liquor cabinet in Cordoba, but for the life of me, I cannot find a single piece of pork in that city. How come? Or am I just looking in the wrong places? Al-Andalus has been a place of refuge for Christian schismatics from Europe for centuries. I know there has to be some.

Or did most of the schismatics move to Cadiz or Toledo?

-Al Andalus is probably the most liberal and tolerant nation in Europe. Its more of a cultural thing than anything. Alcoohol hasn't been illegal since the 1970s *for the same reason your mentioned*

4.) Does the Golden Horde really call itself that, or is the name just a holdover from Medieval times?

-Holdover, despite having a fairly centralized and non-nomadic government operating out of Sarkel.

5.) Why does Bavaria insist on maintaining an Admiralty despite being a double landlocked country?

-The Danube is very important to trade and blocking it off could be useful.

6.) Why does the Prussian Army still field formations of Teutonic Knights? Are they really monastic knights, or is their name a throwback to the Crusaders of old?

-Another throwback name, though they are in reality mechanized they present themselves ceremonially more as dragoons anyway.

7.) Why is the nation of Georgia so radically different in culture from their Roman and Mongol neighbors? Also, why hasn't it been conquered?

-Nothing to conquer there but more rebels.

8.) Why is Moscow so ugly in comparison to other Eastern European capitals like Sarai, Novgorod, Warsaw or Constantinople?

-Constant warfare and anarchy would make every European Capital horrible.

9.) What language does the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's government conduct its affairs in?

-Polish and Lithuanian

10.) Speaking of which, why does the English Government conduct all official business in French?

-See above answer.
 
4.) Does the Golden Horde really call itself that, or is the name just a holdover from Medieval times?

Yes, Tatars pride themselves in keeping with tradition.

5.) Why does Bavaria insist on maintaining an Admiralty despite being a double landlocked country?
Matter of prestige and megalomaniac claims on Italy and Osterreich.

6.) Why does the Prussian Army still field formations of Teutonic Knights? Are they really monastic knights, or is their name a throwback to the Crusaders of old?
Good question. Another one is how they managed to hold on such weirdly shaped territory for so long, obviously lacking industrial resources.

8.) Why is Moscow so ugly in comparison to other Eastern European capitals like Sarai, Novgorod, Warsaw or Constantinople?

Not ugly - different. Uniquestyle of architecture that may seem to be chaotic for our eyes, but it's unique blend of Asiatic and European Styles.


9.) What language does the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's government conduct its affairs in?
Polish and Latin. Ruthenian elites (which compromise most of PLCs territories) were polonized in 17th century. Same with Lithuanian elites. Country is 'Lithuanian' only because of name of the Grand Duchy, but in reality Lithuanian is spoken only by peasants in Samogitia and around Vilnius.
 
10.) Speaking of which, why does the English Government conduct all official business in French?

They were doing that anyway after 1066. French was the language of the court. Also, most citizens of 'England' are actually French
 
8. You're just not a fan of Muscovite architechure, I guess. Personally, I think the Neo-Functionalist buildings of Moscow have a certain charm to them that's lacking in the more organically built cities of Muscovy's neighbors. As for why Moscow is so uniform in its architecture, it was one of the last wooden cities on the continent, until the Great Fire of 1910. The city was finally rebuilt in concrete, granite, mica and steel, and built entirely according to Dimitri Sakharov's plans.
Its a matter of personal taste, I guess, but I would have expected the Grand Duke's palace to look better than that, both as a royal residence, and as a centre of government.
 
I love how England is referred to as "Also England". Obviously the Norman descendants kept their hold on power and we in good ol' blight are speaking Francais.
 

yourworstnightmare

Banned
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5Wo0b73


Author's Note: The above map is Europe, c. August 2011

I have a few questions to ask about Europe, if anyone on AH.com will care to answer them for me:

1.) Will the European Union bail out the Roman Empire?

2.) Speaking of which, isn't it strange how the the Roman Empire hasn't ruled Rome for the last 1500 or so years? There are more Turkish than Latin speakers in the Basileia ton Rhomaion these days. That last war in the 1940s where the Romans took over Italy doesn't count really count.

3.) There's more booze than in God's own liquor cabinet in Cordoba, but for the life of me, I cannot find a single piece of pork in that city. How come? Or am I just looking in the wrong places? Al-Andalus has been a place of refuge for Christian schismatics from Europe for centuries. I know there has to be some.

Or did most of the schismatics move to Cadiz or Toledo?

4.) Does the Golden Horde really call itself that, or is the name just a holdover from Medieval times?

5.) Why does Bavaria insist on maintaining an Admiralty despite being a double landlocked country?

6.) Why does the Prussian Army still field formations of Teutonic Knights? Are they really monastic knights, or is their name a throwback to the Crusaders of old?

7.) Why is the nation of Georgia so radically different in culture from their Roman and Mongol neighbors? Also, why hasn't it been conquered?

8.) Why is Moscow so ugly in comparison to other Eastern European capitals like Sarai, Novgorod, Warsaw or Constantinople?

9.) What language does the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's government conduct its affairs in?

10.) Speaking of which, why does the English Government conduct all official business in French?

I'll try.
1. Yes, if the Roman economy fails they won't be able to pay their soldiers, and if Rome can't control her army there might be war.

2. Rome is more of a mindset. Constantinople is full of Greeks, Turks, Slavs and Armenians who all claim to be Roman.

3. Someone already mentioned the flue. But there is of course also the fact that pigs were slaughtered for being symbols of capitalist decay during Grand Vizier Assad's reign a couple of decades ago. Luckily Al-Andalus has recovered greatly from the reign of the Moral Socialists and the mad Vizier.

4. Remnant from old times. And don't forget the army is still very much revered, despite all the coups in Tatar history. If someone would try to change the name of the nation, there would probably be another coup.

5. They have a small Danubian fleet, as already was mentioned.

6. Well, it's still a traditional society, and the nobles are still considered the best warriors (and get the best toys). Knighthood is still seen as a token of strength in Prussia. There are few in Prussia's Upper House who don't have a military background.

7. Worthless mountains, and the States of Georgia have too many feuds and conflicts already. No other nation would want to govern that area.

8. Moscow is basically a military camp.

9. Polish and Lithuanian. The unrecognized Ruthenian Provisional Government conducted their affairs in Kievan Ruthenian until the bloodbath of Kiev last year. Since then Ruthenian have been forbidden.

10. Well, that's because the English politicians rather stay in the Western Half of the monarchy since their mistresses are there. As the great Lord President Harlowe once said; "A good Englishman must be bilingual, he speak English with the wife, and French with the woman he loves".
 
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