Crusader Kings II - Paradox Entertainement (02/12)

Discussion in 'Alternate History Books and Media' started by Tellus, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. Lord Hierarch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2010
    Fuck this game.

    My king dies and my heir, my grandson, is 3 years and is named. A half dozen regents and three assassinations later he somehow becomes king. He is great. OK. Super. Time to marry my sister to the King of Galicia, renew my alliacne with Brittany, and just... build up my holdings.

    Food poisoning? OK. It'll go away in a while. 5 years later I die from food posioning. Unmarried, my heir is the queen of galicia. OK. OK. Also Brittany is apparently an elected monarchy so my alliance with them is done. Thanks for nothing grandma.

    And wow! I'm busying helping my husband fight Galician rebels and Leon when my bitch's in Scotland decide to rebel for lower crown authority. Fuck the Duchess of Albany and Duke of the Isles. I have money!

    Independence of Lancaster? Not on my watch!

    Crush the Duke of the Isles. Smash the Duchess of Albany. I run out of cash. I still beat the Lancaster army.

    Why is England getting involved?

    Why am I being stopped by a fallen tree?

    Why are these thugs attacking me? I'm the Queen of Scotland!

    And now I'm dead.

    Fuck my heir is my uncle Duke of Moray. Who assassinated me.

    Well. I guess I'm still part of the same dynasty? I mean I still retain Lancaster.
     
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  2. Tiro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2015
    Such sweet pages from the family album of yet another happy Dynasty ...
     
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  3. Yorel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    When the game really wants to screw with you, it doesn't hold back any punches.
     
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  4. Lord Hierarch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2010
    Ok after a dozen and half of reloading to an earlier date, I finally get to be of age and wed my 15 year old queen to the 13 year old prince of Castile and heir. I fight in a crusade. I inherit several crsauder artifacts. She's a fucking legend, my best king since her great-grandfather (?). Her husband isn't half bad. I face a dozen factions hoping to put a kinsman i have in prison on the throne. I obligate and threaten them. I imprison several and bring in new nobles to replace them.

    I'm in my twenties.

    3 daughters and 2 sons. I'm a lustful, crusading queen.

    The king of Galicia dies during the crusade so I have a strong claim on my mother's kingdom. I CONQUER it from my kinsman. I'm so fucking rich, I rise the Irish and scottish mercenaries bands to invade Galicia, 8k each, and my 7k personal levies and 5k vassal levies to crush Galicia.

    A yer later she survives a snake in bed only to die to a poisoned drink. Fuck.

    Her 3-year old eldest son is elected king. Soon after, a faction to lower crown authority declares that since my regent - self-appointed fuck - is part of their faction, I have no choice but to accept.

    Fuck then. I'm King Artos, 3-year old king of Scotland and Galicia. I am heir to the kingdom of Castile.

    I WILL BRING HOLY FURY WHEN I LOAD BACK 2 YEARS.
     
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  5. ByzantineCaesar Secretary-General of URSAL

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2010
    Location:
    São Paulo, SP, Brasil
    [​IMG]

    The Counts and Dukes of Tusculum
    Defenders of the Holy Roman Church

    Defenders of the Church and rightful heirs to the ancient Roman legacy, the Tusculani trace their descent from Theophylactus (846-924), the first Count of Tusculum, sacri palatii vestararius, magister militum, senator, glorissimus dux, dominus urbis, and Consul of Rome, and his wife the powerful matriarch and senatrix Theodora. Through their daughters Marozia and Theodora and their lines, the Tusculani have risen to become the chief of the Papal nobility, presiding over the Papacy as its stalwart shield and guide. Naysayers would speak of the saeculum obscurum, the Pornocracy and the Rule of the Harlots to challenge the Tusculani's dedication to the Holy Mother Church, but their opinions matter little for as long as there sits a Pope in Rome and a Tusculani to his ever faithful side.

    Alberico III (970-1036), Count and Duke of Tusculum (1011/1028-1036)
    Albericus, consul, dux et patricius Romanorum
    Comes sacri palatii Lateranensis


    Alberico II, was the third and youngest son of Giorgio Tusculani, Count of Tusculum, himself a great-grandson of the family patriarch Count Theophylactus. Whereas his two elder brothers Theophylactus and Romanus were made priests of the cloth and princes of the Church, destiny had bound Alberico to rule as a prince of the State and progenitor of the new generation of Tusculani. Count Alberico was a remarkable man cut in the figure of his noble line; a charismatic negotiator with splendid mastery over words and a skillful scheme to navigate Eternal Rome. With his eldest brother having been elected Pope as Benedict VIII in 1012, Count Alberico presided over the apogee of his family in the Curia, a time of unchallenged splendor and grandeur, even as Alberico himself served as Chancellor of the Holy Roman Church, his cousin Giovanni, the Pope's son, as Camerlengo, and their brother Romano as one of the crimson-clad Cardinals of the Church.

    Alberico extended his family and the Church's rule from the lordships of Tusculum and Segni to the counties of Ceccano and Fondi. For his valor, the Pope made him Duke of Gaeta, although Alberico and his heirs were henceforth known as the Dukes of Tusculum.

    Duke Alberico died of pneumonia at age sixty-six. He had five sons. Although none managed to emulate Benedict VIII and rise to the Papal throne, the Tusculani were left in good hands:
    • Gregorio (1000-1061), who succeeded his father as Duke of Tusculum, Count of Segni, Ceccano and Fondi, later canonized as Saint Gregorio the Righteous of Tusculum,
    • Pietro (1001-1030), the Chancellor of Tusculum, who died young of gluttony. He left two daughters, the ladies Aurora and Luigia, both of whom married members of the Roman court, although only the latter eventually gave him a posthumous grandson, Tommaso Tusculani, a mastermind theologian set for a splendid Church career,
    • Cardinal Guido (1003-1055), Bishop of Piperno, Bishop of Ferrentino and Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church. An unremarkable man, he was married the Lombard noble Adelasia Obertenghi (b. 1011), daughter of the Duke of Milan, who retired to a convent upon his appointment as bishop. They had one son, Pericle Tusculani (b. 1029), Baron of Albano and Gonfalonier of Tusculum, one of the most brilliant minds and generals of the Christian world. With his wife Othelindis, Pericle has a ten year old daughter, Cristina (b. 1058)
    • Ottaviano (1004-1032), the least noteworthy of Duke Alberico's sons, ironically named after Octavian Augustus. He was an unremarkable man of unremarkable skill, dying of pneumonia before he could be shuffled off to a Church career,
    • Theophylactus (1012-1047), his father's greatest frustration, as unremarkable as Ottaviano, but longer lived. He was made Bishop of Alatri before dying of pneumonia at age thirty-five. (in OTL he became Pope Benedict IX)
    Saint Gregory II the Righteous (1000-1061), Duke of Tusculum (1036-1061)
    Sanctus Gregorius, consul, dux, senator et patricius Romanorum
    Lateranensis et Tusculanensis comes


    Duke Gregorio was perhaps the best the Tusculani had to offer. An unambitious man, unlike many of his forefathers, Gregorio was already a paragon of Christendom and a true Christian knight before his inheritance of his father's lands and titles. In his life he was known as Gregorio the Wise for his piety and remarkable skills, which allowed him to serve as Chancellor of the Holy Roman Church and gonfalonier, as his father before him. He ably ruled Tusculum despite his poor health and won renown as a layman member of the Benedictine Order. Gregorio was also a prolific writer, having authored the famed Speculum Regale, a model example of eleventh century literature in the genre of mirror of princes. However, his crowning achievement was the discovery and acquisition of the glorious Crown of Thorns, a true relic of Jesus Christ that came into his possession in 1044 and has been held for display at the Vatican ever since, under the always faithful and pious custody of the Tusculani Counts of the Sacred Palace.

    For his exemplary service to the Mother Church and his piety and many achievements in life, Gregorio the Wise was first beatified and then canonized as St. Gregorio the Righteous five years after his death. In his act of canonization, Gregorio was described by Pope Alexander II as a man of honest nature and a true exorcist of the forces of Lucifer, although Gregorio was never known to have performed an exorcism in life. He is buried at the fortress town of Tusculum, and his shrine attracts many pilgrims to this day.

    Duke Gregorio was married thrice. First, to Bisina Liudolfinger (999-1021), daughter of Emperor Heinrich I, with whom he had one daughter before she prematurely died of the flu. His second wife was Theodoule Boioanna (1001-1030), daughter of the Greek Strategos of Longobardia who by a stroke of fortune later became Emperor Basil III of the Greeks. After Theodoule's death of the flu, Gregorio married one more time to the Roman noblewoman Arianna Trinci, although the marriage was never consummated as he had sworn himself to celibacy following his second wife's death. Gregorio fathered four children:
    • Teodora (b. 1020), who married firstly prince Béla of Pannonia, excommunicated and burned at the stake by Pope Stephen IX for heresy, and secondly the handsome and intelligent Bernard the Chiny, a French nobleman. She gave birth to three children of the Árpád and Tusculani bloodlines: the military commander Adalberto Tusculani (childlessly married to Liviana Aleramici), the handsome but otherwise unremarkable Gregorio (who married the Greek noblewoman Helene Kourtikissa), and the promising child Alberico, her only child by Bernard de Chiny.
    • Romano (b. 1023), who succeeded his father as Duke of Tusculum
    • Libera (1026-1066), Queen of Italy by marriage to King Guiberto d'Ivrée. After Guiberto's death, Libera married Prince Hughes of France, who died at age sixteen before he could succeed to the throne. Libera herself died young, bleeding from the eyes and ears at age forty. She had two daughters by Guiberto: Princess Berta of Italy, recently forced into a convent by her uncle, and Princess Maura, who married her cousin Romolo Tusculani.
    • Basilio (b. 1029), named after his grandfather the Greek Emperor, a military man second in command of the Tusculani forces, after his cousin Baron Pericle. He married his half-aunt, the Greek purpleborn princess Konstantina Boianna, although her family has since been dislodged from the purple.
    Romano II (b. 1023), Count and Duke of Tusculum
    Romanus, consul, dux, senator et patricius Romanorum
    Lateranensis et Tusculanensis comes

    Romano Tusculani is the eldest son of Duke Gregorio and Theodoule Boianna. A man as competent with words as he is with the sword, Duke Romano is the most powerful of the Roman nobles, reigning from the stronghold of Tusculum when he is not attending the Curia as Chancellor of the Holy Roman Church, as his father and grandfather had been before him. Romano is a more ambitious man than his father ever was and dreams of expanding Tusculani *cough cough* Church lands further south into Italy, watching Naples and Amalfi with hungry eyes, although he is surrounded by the Holy Roman Empire in the north and the Greek Empire in the south. He is also determined to see the Tusculani returned to the Papal throne, after a long period of absence due to the early death of his uncles Ottaviano and Theophylactus. Romano is man aware of his many burdens as not only protector of the Holy Roman Church, but also the bearer of the legacy and heritage not only of the Theophylacti Counts and Dukes of Tusculum, but also the ancient legacy of the Senate and People of Rome. At age forty-five, time is running short and he has yet to achieve his many ambitions, but Duke Romano remains the greatest Roman alive.

    He was first married to Martina Visconti (1022-1060), genius daughter of the Lord of Martesana, with whom he had three children, and secondly to the Pisan noblewoman Ornella Gherardesca, mother of his youngest son.
    • Romolo (b. 1042), heir to the Duchy of Tusculum, a shrewd military man skilled with words. He is married to his first cousin the Princess Maura of Italy, daughter of the late King Guiberto and the true heir to the Iron Crown. Named after the founder of Rome, he considers the Eternal City his birthright.
    • Oreste (b. 1044), born with a clubfoot and thus impeded from a military career. He is a man skilled with words and an admirable schemer, loyal to his father. He is married to the Lombard noblewoman Asia di Bertinoro, daughter of Count Lamberto of Bertinoro, with whom he has two children: Romano (b. 1067) and newborn Teodora.
    • Olimpia (b. 1057), a young girl of nine
    • Theophylactus (b. 1065), a young boy of three

    ---

    So, yeah, I'm playing as the original Borgias and I'm having a lot of fun with them. I started the game in 1018 (HIP) and the current date is 1069. My current goal is to try and expand (though it's hard as I'm surrounded by the purple blob and the golden blob - might have to break off from the Papal States and swear fealty to the HRE). Short-term goal is to become King of Italy, perhaps by pressing the claim of Princess Maura, although I hate how that doesn't make my character king (regnal numbers, yo!). I am incredibly frustrated with Papal politics, though. The Tusculani dominated the Papacy for a century, which is impossible to replicate in CK2. Getting into the College of Cardinals is relatively easy if you have available characters, but getting Cardinals elected Pope? I can do nothing to influence the conclave itself! Highly frustrating! But still fun.

    Long-term goal is restoring the Roman Empire and maybe Hellenism, though I doubt I will achieve that.

    Btw, does anyone know what happens if you take Rome from the Pope as a Catholic? Will my rulers always be excommunicated as long as I hold Rome?
     
  6. Neoteros Dux Mediolani

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2007
    Location:
    Duchy of Milan
    Question, what usually changes in the game if you play HIP with the vanilla map? The SMWH map makes my game lag like crazy, so...
     
  7. Yorel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    The lastest Dev Diary about CK2 seems to indicate they'll rework the Court to make it a bit more interesting.

    For one thing, the court is going to get a cap on how many courtiers you can have in your court, depending on your rank and tech (specifically Majesty) and possibly other variables. If you go above your courtier cap, then you'll have to face expenses because your court is too small to host so many courtiers. As a result of this, they've also made Prisonners no longer count as being part of your court.

    New events are also going to be added to reflect on the life of the court so that it becomes a bit more interactive. You'll be able to give courtiers nicknames, modifiers and skills depending on how the events play out. These random events will also happen with courtiers that have good skills, a minor title or a particular relationship among other things.

    Personnally loving this development: it's going to add even more roleplay to court interactions.
     
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  8. Lord Hierarch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2010
    OK, restarted.

    SEVEN DEATHS IN A ROW, FUCK THE RESTARTS.

    Finally. I survived. Two more sons. My Eldest daughter will be tutored by a high learning. Second daughter is diplomacy. Third son, Artos, will be tutored by the Queen, me, for stewardship. Third son will be tutored by my marshal. Now a third son, shove him to be learned by a priest. Fourth son, ugh, the same.

    I've made my husband, future king of castile, as my regent.

    I die.

    Hail Artos, King of Scotland and Galicia, future king of Castile.
     
  9. Sevarics Beto for Texas

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Location:
    Texhaus
    I think I’m gna download the AGOT mod again thanks to the show
     
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  10. Gwrtheyrn Annwn A Welshman at Heart

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2015
    Location:
    Rhydychen/Oxford
    I've been playing the AGOT mod recently actually, it was great until it started crashing randomly.
     
  11. Green Painting Ship of Theseus

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2013
    Location:
    Dulimbai Gurun, 中國, or Khitan State
    I’ve heard that Al Paradoxiyah games have a strong pro-Muslim bias, wonder whether it’s true?
     
  12. Evilprodigy Evil Overlord of NWCG Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2010
    Location:
    Toronto
    What even is that?
     
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  13. Talkie_Toaster Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    I've never heard such a thing, Islam only has a mechanical effect in 2 of their games:
    In CK2 Muslim characters were not even playable upon release, and the DLC which made them playable introduced a "decadence" mechanic which was widely criticised as not-fun and has been reworked half a dozen times. They don't have to deal with gavelkind I guess, but they also have no access to alternative succession like elective. But they certainly aren't OP, especially compared to reformed pagans.
    In EU4 the various flavours of Muslim have their own mechanics, but none are particularly OP. The religion with the strongest bonuses is generally considered to be Orthodoxy, though obviously different ones are better for different play-styles. The strongest power at game start, the Ottomans, is Sunni, and is a real pain to beat if you're playing anyone else and tends to blob, but that's historical so hardly indicative of bias.
     
  14. Ice34 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2016
    Location:
    Kansas
    In general the rule of thumb for CK2 is Christian Kingdoms are more stable, while Islamic Rulers have an easier time expanding.
     
  15. Spelf Habsburgs and Hot Dogs

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Location:
    Albany, New York
    Having a great time getting back into After the End rn. The Empire State stretches from New Hampshire to Cleveland and from Montreal to the Potomac currently. I'm going to entrench the Sedevacantist faith.
     
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  16. Ice34 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2016
    Location:
    Kansas
    I'm about to start a Jeffersonian Texas game myself.
     
  17. Sevarics Beto for Texas

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Location:
    Texhaus
    I saw on steam that someone made a During the End Submod for the After the End fan fork
     
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  18. Sevarics Beto for Texas

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Location:
    Texhaus
    I want to try this again

     
  19. Ice34 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2016
    Location:
    Kansas
    Really? Is it just a new start date or what?
     
  20. Sevarics Beto for Texas

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Location:
    Texhaus
    It’s set immediately after the nuclear apocalypse as Americans start to form small counties and rebuild society