Then might I suggest that you stay out of threads dealing with it or refrain from posting in them if it offends you so much that you have trouble posting a polite response? Just because you don't find it agreeable doesn't automatically make it bad wrong fun.
The thing is Simon that to get a Seelowe to work, even with the Germans rolling NOTHING but 6's since the start of the war would require them to roll a 9. And for them to get a Seelowe TO work requires gargantuan changes pre-war such as pre-building landing ships in preparation (which would be noticed and counters prepared), additional naval ships, a better and less costly (for the navy) invasion of Norway which gutted the Germans naval strength when they needed it the most and a lot more besides.
But this comes at costs that most "Sealion done in 1940 this is how!" threads promptly ignore. You want more ships? Great, what are you going to sacrifice to build them? Germany did not have infinite resources and if it suddenly had a fleet of 6 Bismarks, 9 Scharnhorts, dozens of cruisers and destroyers 'just for Seelowe to work' then you're going to have a far smaller army and airforce because of the resources om nom nommed by the construction of warships and landing craft.
This then means you've not probably got the strength to successfully invade France and push the BEF back because you threw all your resources into ship building. And here comes the main problem with 95% of Sealion threads.
The Germans get X Y and Z, to make it actually work, but there's NO knock on effect for their other armed forces. They are still at OTL strength (usually with more Panzer IV's thrown in too). Whilst all this is going on you've got the Germans doing great on land as they did, again rolling nothing but 6's whilst the WAllies constantly fumbled. Then the might of the Kriegsmarine comes in, safely escorts the Panzerwaffen across the channel because the Luftwaffe have sunk anything flying a red ensign this side of the suez.
What i've described above is a typical seelowe wank. And it is a wank because its impossible. We can say 'oh its a what if', but a what if' must still be grounded in reality and reality in wartime is given form in several words. One of the most important and often ignored by folks is this.
Logistics.
And its close cousin
Doctrine
With the German industial complex the nest of vipers that it was pre-war and during you then have the massive inter-service rivalries that make anything you hear about today in the press about services bickering about money seem like a schoolyard fight.
Doctrine does not change overnight, the Germans were married to the concept of battlefield support and medium bombers, this did not change through the 30's right up to 1945. The only successful change of a military doctrinal idea I can think of over a short period of time was Stalin's Russia and that happened because of the Purges and because of necessity (in 1942) and even then it wasn't nailed down fully until post war. You can't just go "You know what...we need bombers. Heavy bombers. When? NOW!" And suddenly you've got a working heavy bomber doctrine. Same with the German army, it was married to the concept of Blitzkrieg, and it stayed that way even when it became obvious it wasn't going to work (Kursk says hello). To get a new doctrine to change how your Generals, Air Marshal's and who ever else to suddenly change how they have done things for the better part of 20 years is not an overnight process. It worked in Russia because most of the new officers replacing those coming up after the Purges were fresh and eventually fertile ground to lay your doctrinal seeds. But that took an unprecidented crises and the deaths of millions for it to open Stalin's eyes, and the Soviets didn't pick up their new (old) ideas overnight.
Yet the Wank steps in to have the Germans change everything at the drop of a hat. And they pick up their new hat with the skill and profieciency of their OTL performance. Right away. Whilst in France and the UK, turpentine is now required drinking for Military planners.
Lets go back to warships. You want to build them? Great! Now the Luftwaffe and Heer are screaming that they need more tanks, more fighters, more bombers and your ships who can't conquer france will just be a waste of resources that are better spent elsewhere. And even if you build up a fleet, you're not able to face the RN on anything resembling the numbers needed to stand a chance.
So your planned destroyer programme gets cancelled, the resources given over to the Army and Airforce. And don't even think about that landing ship programme, thats been canned and the steel allocated to the production of Panzers before one even gets its keel laid down.
But lets say you do get the resources pre war, lets say..1936, to build up the fleet more. Huzzah!
now the Royal Navy is looking at you going "...i'm watching you..." England, a country that lived and would die on the strength or weakness of its navy since the days of the Armada is not going to let a continental rival build up a fleet that threatens the safety of the maratime trade and the British isles.
But here's where the wank comes into play. And we'll bring up everyones favorite class of ships and the most often dusted off one.
Behind door number 1 its...
KMS Graf Zepplin and her sisters! Lets hear a round of applause please!
If Germany suddenly started building carriers the RN would react. A carrier is a purely offensive weapon. The germans can't go 'We need it to defend the baltic' because no one will belive them.
Also carriers are not a case of getting a lightly built hull, slapping an island on it and a big flat bit. They are hideously complicated beasties, to design and operate. It took the RN, USN and IJN over a decade to get a workable carrier doctrine, get the training down, get the aircraft right (yes even the RN..in the 20s and early 30's had decent aircraft for the time). You can't simply go:
'BUILD ALL THE CARRIERS! _o/' and suddenly you have a few flattops with competent crew and a doctrine that works and no you can't ask the IJN for advice either. But in Axis wanks, the Germans get carriers, know immediately how to use them better than the IJN at their height (1942) whilst the British reaction 9/10 times will be to refill their pint glasses with lead based paint and not react at all. Which would not happen. Period.
A what if, is best when its based on the original timeline and has a good grounding in reality.
The reality is that Sealion was impossible, without so many massive changes before the war that the 2nd World War that happens is not the 2nd world war we know.
Yet the wank will have it happen exactly that way. Panzers will crash through the ardennes, the french will be defeated in a staggeringly short time and the Ubermensch will stride across the channel to defeat poor old Blighty. And then a 2nd Dark Age descends upon Europe.
Also the Nazi's are not the plucky underdogs who give the big bad bullies a biff in the nose. They are one of the most horrific regimes to ever walk the face of the earth. Yet the wank often has an answer for that.
Hitlers replaced, he's more rational, he actually wants to hug the jews, all of them. Not gas and shoot them. Change that. And then they are NotNazi's. They are a pale imitation, a shitty tribute band who only want to call themselves Nazi's because the Germans looked snappy in their uniforms and their kit was very good. Wanking the core horror of the Nazi's away is what gets my back up.