Challenge: Wanking by century

Influenced by this earlier thread I thought I should come up with a new challenge. Rule: One wank by century. Choose as many centuries as you like, but one country should just appear once in the list. In order to avoid misunderstanding, the PODs are of course independent from each other, hence a Wales wank in the 800s means that all developments up to that point is in OTL.

500s: Roman (Byzantine) wank
600s: Berber wank
700s: Frisian wank
800s: Wales wank
900s: Bulgaria wank
1000s Denmark wank
1100s: Saxony wank
1200s: England wank
1300s: Serbia wank
1400s: Portugal wank
1500s: Spain wank
1600s: Sweden wank
1700s: Austria wank
1800s: Egypt wank
1900s: Greece wank
 
For the 500s PoD you could have the succession crisis in Sassanid Persia between Khosrau and Kawus escalate into a full blown civil war. This keeps them occupied for a while the Romans can sit on the sidelines and decide to intervene when it provides them an opportunity. Say they decide to back Kawus in exchange for significant territorial concessions in Armenia and the Caucuses. With Roman support Kawus is able to win out and spends most of his reign pushing through radical Mazdakite reforms. These go above and beyond what Khosrau did IOTL so it takes longer for them to come into effect. In addition, inspired by Mazdak's pacifism Kawus decides to pursue a mostly non-interventionist foreign policy so that he can focus on his domestic reforms. As a result the Roman's main threat to the East had been neutralised, for now at least, and Justinian can focus all of his energy and attention on his Western campaigns.
 
Wanking Portugal in the 1400s even more than IOTL is not trivial, if we exclude the option of some sort of Portuguese-led unification of Iberia, which many have argued would result in a Castilianisation of Portugal.
So, I think maybe even more successful Portuguese meddling in the 1465 revolt in Morocco, acquiring more than just Tangier, and puppetising the Wattasids? Although I´m not sure how sensible that would be. Portuguese expansion was further overseas, and here they spread like wildfire, already stretching thin Portugal's demographic base for colonial adventures.
 
Wanking Portugal in the 1400s even more than IOTL is not trivial, if we exclude the option of some sort of Portuguese-led unification of Iberia, which many have argued would result in a Castilianisation of Portugal.
So, I think maybe even more successful Portuguese meddling in the 1465 revolt in Morocco, acquiring more than just Tangier, and puppetising the Wattasids? Although I´m not sure how sensible that would be. Portuguese expansion was further overseas, and here they spread like wildfire, already stretching thin Portugal's demographic base for colonial adventures.

What about a dynastic alliance between Portugal and Aragon at some time during the 1400s? Or maybe Portugal accepts Colombus offer and let him travel west with the Portugese flag?

I must admit the 1400s was one of the last centuries I picked. Another country might have been a better choice. I even considered a Timur wank. My favourites are 500s/Romans, 800s/Wales (Vikings weaken the Anglosaxon kingdoms more than OTL and gradually expands), 900s/Bulgaria, 1100/Saxony (Henry the Lion), 1600s/Sweden, 1800s/Egypt (at the expense of the Saud clan and the Wahhabis in particular, but also the Ottomans).
 
What about a dynastic alliance between Portugal and Aragon at some time during the 1400s? Or maybe Portugal accepts Colombus offer and let him travel west with the Portugese flag?

I must admit the 1400s was one of the last centuries I picked. Another country might have been a better choice. I even considered a Timur wank. My favourites are 500s/Romans, 800s/Wales (Vikings weaken the Anglosaxon kingdoms more than OTL and gradually expands), 900s/Bulgaria, 1100/Saxony (Henry the Lion), 1600s/Sweden, 1800s/Egypt (at the expense of the Saud clan and the Wahhabis in particular, but also the Ottomans).
Not Columbus, the Portuguese knew that he had miscalculated the distances. Making them not know that is difficult without depriving them of their other maritime successes.

Portugal-Aragon would also bring, depending on when you do it, Naples, Sardinia etc. into the deal. That might shift the focus of their trade into the Mediterranean, though, and stop them from their circum-African adventures.
 
700s: Frisian wank

I doubt a true "wank" is possible with any realistic scenario. Frisia was hostile towards the Franks, and the Franks had about fifty times the land that the Frisians did. At their height. Not to mention that said Frisian height occured exactly when the Franks had begun emerging as the great power they would become during Pippin III's reign.

If you allow me to knock the PoD back to 687, and have Pippin II die shortly after Tertry, the Franks will be in disorder for a while and Frisia might be able to push the border a little further south. Go too far south though, and you're talking about invading core Frankish homeland in Austrasia. No Frank will tolerate that (the Frisians were pagans after all). But in this scenario, Frisia goes east instead and takes some land off the Saxons, then convert to Christianity c.710 because the new king (ATL born) has a sympathy for the Christian religion and for the Franks. By the 730s the Franks should have recovered from the disorder that followed Tertry* and would be drawn back together by the threat of Muslims. They now have a small, independent and at least semi-friendly neighbour to their north.

Compared to "death by Martel stomping", this is a little bit of a wank, as Frisia maintains its independence and identity, probably surviving as a weaker Venice-type maritime port. Any more than that though, they will provoke a neighbour, and because their neighbours are strong, will get stomped into dust.

- BNC
 
500s: Roman (Byzantine) wank

The Plague of Justinian hits Persia far harder than OTL while leaving the Romans relatively unscathed. After Justinian's death his successor stops with his conquests in Italy and North Africa and allow their gains to solidify rather than waste manpower going after the Franks and Visigoths.

600s: Berber wank

The First Fitna is bloodier than OTL and never resolves itself, leaving the Middle East divided between the Umayyads and the Rashidun Caliphs, while Egypt goes independent under the command of Amr ibn al-As. Islam still spreads heavily into the Berber regions who eventually unite under a single leader, conquering most of North Africa and the constantly infighting Visigoths.

700s: Frisian wank

This happens in my signature timeline, where Charles Martel dies at Tours. In the chaos of the ensuing civil war the Frisians, alongside several other Frankish tributaries, break their ties with the Franks and go independent. Frisian raiders take to the channel, first raiding northern Gaul where the war has left the countryside without many defenders, then shifting their sights to Britain once the Franks regain enough strength to stop such raids. Eventually these raids turn into a campaign of conquest of southern Britain, with the loot from hundreds of cities, farms and monasteries being funneled back to Utrecht.

800s: Wales wank

The vikings completely overrun the Anglo-Saxons, defeating Alfred and subjugating Wessex before collapsing. Rhodri the Great and his son, his only surviving male child, embark on a reconquest of Britain in the wake of the viking collapse, leaving behind a united Welsh kingdom spanning nearly all of Britain south of Northumbria.

900s: Bulgaria wank

The Magyars beat the Pechengs and remain on the Dnieper river. Bulgaria keeps Pannonia and is able to focus their full attention on the Byzantines. Simeon completes his conquest of Greece, reducing Byzantium's power in the region to a rump area around Constantinople. Simeon leaves a more capable heir to the throne when he dies and the empire endures until at least the end of the century.

1000s Denmark wank

Harald Hardrada is killed at the Battle of Nisa, which results in a Danish victory at the battle. Sven II subsequently retakes the throne of Norway. After consolidating Norway Sven launches an attack on England on the same grounds Hardrada used IOTL, but is successful in both defeating the Anglo-Saxons and pushing back the Normans.

1100s: Saxony wank

No idea, I'm not familiar at all with this region during this time period.

1200s: England wank

England wins the Anglo-French war, retaining the Angevin's continental holdings and possibly even expanding them.

1300s: Serbia wank

The Ottomans are killed in the cradle by Timur, allowing the Serbs to gobble up the remnants of the Latin and Byzantine empires.

1400s: Portugal wank

The king of Portugal agrees to hire Columbus, meaning that the New World is initially claimed for him rather than for Spain. Colonialism proceeds much like OTL but with Spain and Portugal's empire's reversed.

1500s: Spain wank

Charles V manages to suppress the Dutch Revolt, keeping the low countries in the Spanish Empire.

1600s: Sweden wank

Gustavus Adolphus survives Lutzen, and leads the Protestants to a complete victory. During the peace talks Sweden gains full control over the Baltic, and essentially turns the rest of Northern Germany into its puppets.


1700s: Austria wank

Same response as the Saxony one, sorry.

1800s: Egypt wank

Muhamad Ali Pasha's descendants manage to keep the reactionary elements of Egypt in check. By the end of the century the Ottomans collapse due to butterflies, and the modernized Egyptian army stands ready to pick up the pieces.

1900s: Greece wank

Ataturk dies before he can stabilize Turkey, leading to a Greek victory in the Greco-Turkish war and the completion of the Megali Idea.
 
I’ve had a pet idea about a (starting in the 900s) Bulgaria wank for a while now. Essentially, the Bulgarian Empire comes to a stalemate with Byzantium and relations gradually improve. Eventually, the Tsar marries into the Byzantine imperial family, which becomes a much bigger deal one generation later when the ERE has one of its civil wars and the new Tsar realizes he’s got a claim to the throne. Allying with an old war buddy who’s now an Anatolian strategos, the Bulgarian Tsar defeats his rivals and becomes the new Basileus in Constantinople.

The idea of a Slavic-ruled Byzantine Empire is really fascinating to me; from a certain point of view it can be both a Bulgarian wank and a Byzantine wank ;)
 
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7th century Berber wank due to a Berber equivalent of Charlemagne (or even Muhammad) conquering the Maghreb (which will never be called that thanks to how few Arabs will settle there) and Egypt, absorbing Roman culture but creating a church based at Carthage which schisms from Rome. The Berbers mostly absorb into Roman culture in the following centuries, creating an 8th century African Romance wank. Even though the empire fragments within a few centuries, it leaves a lasting legacy in North Africa and beyond.

This results in a 15th-16th century Mauretania (initially including all modern Morocco plus Roman Mauretania and Baetica in Spain) wank where they end up controlling the Sahara trade routes and also taking the place of Portugal in history, but their higher population allows them to do so much more and compete alongside the Great Powers of Europe. Thus we have strong Mauretanian colonies in the Caribbean, South Africa, Brazil, Indonesia, and Australia, with outposts in many other places including India and even the Antarctic in places like *Kerguelen. The Mauretanian language, an African Romance language, becomes the lingua franca by the 19th century thanks to global dominance of the "Mauretanian Commonwealth" of Mauretania and her increasingly independent colonies, of which Mauretania, South Africa, and Brazil (and by some measures Australia) can be considered great powers with large populations and robust economies--the fact it's the second most spoken language by both native speakers and second language speakers (after Chinese) helps quite a bit. Incidentally, strong Berber communities exist in Brazil, Australia, and South Africa, where they keep to their traditions and language (imagine a Canadian Gaelic wank but with various Berber groups instead), and those of Berber descent played and still play an important role in the countries of the Mauretanian Commonwealth.
 
For 18th century Austrian wank give Emperor Charles VI healthly (and competent) son, so he is not concerned so much about succession. There is no War of Austrian Succession, Habsburgs keeps Silesia and Prussian rise to European Power status is stopped.
 
My favorite insane Portugal wank is that the Portuguese all migrate to Sri Lanka/ Ceylon, abandoning Portugual, and then forge a Sinahalese-Lusitania superpower in the Indian Ocean.
 
Is no one going to do their own take on the challenge? Alright then...

000s: Herodian wank
So imagine if one of the Herodlings wasn't an incestuous loser and mobilized public opinion to reunite the Kingdom of Herod the Great.

100s: Parthian wank
I just like them more than the Sassanians.

200s: Gallic Empire wank
Just look at them on a map and tell me that they wouldn't be awesome.

300s: Axum wank
what can I say, I like them.

400s: Soissons wank
Imagine a France that had a better claim to being Rome than the Byzantines.

500s: Suevi wank
this was a filler post

600s:Goguryeo wank
Korean Manchuria!

700s: Tibet Wank
what if Tibet took away Tan's westward tail?

800s: Bohemia wank
Imagine the Czechs being an ethnic group as big as the Poles.

900s: Tang wank
Imagine if Ti- that joke would probably count as current politics...

1000s: Norman wank
So William conquered England, and he was also probably the most powerful figure in France. So what if he got fed up with the King always intervening in his feud with the Anjou, and decides to sieze the throne himself. Assuming his succession is like OTL you have a Franco-English kingdom, an actual one, none of that Angevin King of England but subject of the King of France nonsense.

1100s: Assassin wank
Ok, it's not a country, but just imagine the shadow state that could emerge.

1200s: Tripoli wank
With the Marionite population being a thing this is a Crusader State that actual would have reasonable prospects for survival.

1300s: Dai Viet wank
So they were able to militarily defeat the Yuan, so what if durring the Yuan collapse they tore off a chunk of southern China?

1400s: Celje wank
These guys could have literally replaced the Habsburgs.

1500s: Kongo wank
Bakongo colonization of the River Plate.

1600s: Mi'kmaq wank
Avoid the outbreak of 1617, it was stupid deadly even by the standards of virgin soil epidemics.

1700s: Mysore wank
South Indian Empire!

1800s: Austria wank
[Hums the Radetzky March]

1900s: Canada wank
Canada didn't do bad, but... Settle the Alaska boundary dispute in Canada's favour. Keep the head tax low and we're probably looking at another million Canadians by WWI. Wank the CEF even more than OTL and a Canadian could make Field Marshal. Keep Canada in the Sterling Area and Canada remains the second largest auto exporter until the Japanese Miracle. Canada could also take over the administration of at least some of the West Indies.
 
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okay here goes

000s: Judea wank
100s: Indo-Parthian wank
200s: Shu-Han wank
300s: Ostrogoth wank
400s: Briton wank
500s: Ostrogoth wank
600s: Vietnam wank
700s: Avar wank
800s: Scandinavia/Viking wank
900s: Scotland wank
1000s: Al-Andalus wank
1100s: Hohenstaufen wank
1200s: ERE wank
1300s: Japan wank
1400s: Novgorod wank
1500s: Mamluk wank
1600s: Iroqouis wank
1700s: Ottoman Empire wank
1800s: Mexico wank
1900s: Argentina wank

lol had some typos since i used another post as template
 
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Here is a modified version:

0s: Judea
100s: Marcomanni
200s: Kushan Empire
300s: Visigoths
400s: Hephthalite Empire
500s: Roman (Byzantine) Empire
600s: Sassanid Empire
700s: Umayyad Caliphate
800: Wales
900s: Bulgaria
1000s: Ghaznavids
1100s: Saxony
1200s: Kipchaks
1300: Zimbabwe
1400s: Hanseatic League
1500s: China
1600s: Sweden
1700s: Cherokee
1800s: Egypt
1900s: India
 
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