Are we talking about ASB kind of craziness? We are? Good.
Have either party nominate an unspeakably fringe candidate, one who makes Hitler, Stalin, and Caligula look like the collective apex of benevolence. Have the candidate be one that worships Satan, mutilates animals, denies the Holocaust, AND advocates the following: giving a portion of American soil to a terrorist group to create a separate state, ending ALL entitlement programs, and putting the mentally retarded in cages.